One Thousand Miles

Chapter  |  That's Not What I Had Planned

Part  |  Two

Who knows how much time has passed since my confession. After I had told Tanya what John was doing to me she went inside and took a seat on the couch in the living room. I sat next to her and have been sitting next to her for about fifteen minutes or more. I was scared of what she would say, I knew she would be upset and probably mad at me, but I was most scared of her confronting John about this. He didn't want anybody to know, and if he found out that I had told he'd surely punish me.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts; I hadn't heard the beginning of Tanya's words. "....tell me."

I look up at her with furrowed eyebrows. "What was that?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes before standing up. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you. You could have come to my place and Tyler and I wouldn't have mind, or your parents. Wait, have you even told your parents about this?" she asks, and I just look at her with wide eyes. She sighs and runs her hand down her face. "Stephanie, you do realize that you need to tell them right? I mean yeah when your family finds out they're going to be upset with you, but mostly with John. Ethan especially will be furious with him."

I sighed and looked down just as I felt tears building up in my eyes. "That's exactly what I'm scared of Tanya. I'm scared to tell them because John specifically told me not to tell anyone, but I did."

"Well that's a good thing, Steph. I can now help you get out of this relationship, and your parents can too. Just pack your stuff and leave. We can handle the divorce stuff later---"

"No," I whisper as I look up at her with teary eyes.

She looks at me with a raised eyebrow and narrowed eyes. "I'm sorry, what?

I shook my head and wiped a fallen tear. "No, I'm not going to leave him I....I love him."

She looks at me with wide eyes. "Stephanie, do you not hear yourself right now? You just told me that you were in love with a man that beats on you. How in the hell do you still love this man after the way he's been treating you?"

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. This was exactly what I expected once I told Tanya. She'd be upset and trying to break John and I apart, but I still couldn't let him ago abused or not. "It's just work Tanya. You have to remember he does run a business. It's just stress."

"Stress, are you serious? Stephanie, listen to what you're saying! This man isn't stressed, he's just the type of man who likes to be control, and since you're his wife, you're something easy to control. He wants you to be how he wants you to be."

I clench my fist at my sides. How dare she say that about my husband of all people? No relationship is perfect, especially hers. She should just worry about her own instead of mine. "I knew this was going to happen! How dare you talk about my relationship when your relationship is worse than mine! Yeah he has hit me a few times, but he promised me he'd stop, and something I've learned about John over the years is that he doesn't break promises. Why don't you worry about how you and Tyler are doing instead of me and John? Why don't you worry about trying to help your boyfriend get custody of his son! And why does he even want custody of his son now after all these years, huh?"

She narrowed her eyes and clenched her fist also. "Are you really going there, Stephanie? That is low, even for you. Yeah, I know that he had a child with somebody else four years ago, but I've looked passed that. And it's none of your damn business why he wants custody of his son! Have you ever thought that maybe four years ago he was just an eighteen year old boy, a teenager, who was trying to get his life together before he took on the responsibly of being a father? Here it is four years later; he has a good paying job, a house, and a car to get from point A to point B. Now that he's able to provide a safe environment for his child, he wants to take on the responsibility of being a father. And you know what I think he's ready too and it's all because of Taylor. He treats her like any other father would treat his daughter. He treats me how any other boyfriend would treat their girlfriend. Unlike John, John doesn't. And when you guys someday have children, I guarantee he will treat them as bad as he treats you."

My clenched fists are now shaking. "What kind of friend are you? If you were a good friend you'd understand that I still love him and want to be with him!"

"What kind of friend am I? A great friend. The question is what kind of friend are you? If you were a good friend you'd let me help you get out of this, you'd understand that this isn't about what you want, this is about what you need. And what you need is help," she says as she continues to look at me with narrowed eyes. After a few seconds she shakes her head in disbelief and starts to exit the living room. "I'm leaving."

I slowly sit down on the couch and listen as she goes out back to retrieve her clothes. I sit there thinking about how wrong she was about John. John wasn't the type of person who liked to control everything and everybody. One time he told me he wanted to run his own business because he'd like being in control, but I'm sure he meant he liked to be in control of his business.

After a minute or two, Tanya appears in the living room archway fully dressed with a frown on her face. "Stephanie, call me when you finally realize that you need help. If you don't within a month, I will forget this whole conversation and try to convince myself that John has stopped what he's doing or, you're okay with being his punching bag. I'm not going to sit around trying to help someone who doesn't want it."

And with that she was gone. 

I sat there looking at the archway of where she stood, and soon my anger got the best of me. "Who needs you?" I yell as I pick up a glass cup from the table and throw it across the room. I sat there breathing heavily until finally I calmed down. But soon I feel something else building up inside of me.

Sadness.

A sob escapes my mouth and tears stream down my cheeks. I slowly bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs. I hadn't planned on losing a friend today. All I wanted was for her to understand. Was that too much to ask for? But who cares if I lost her. I still had my family and maybe my co-worker Todd. But most importantly I still had the only person who could understand me I still had the only person who made me happy and put a smile on my face. I still had the person who I loved most.

John.