One Thousand Miles

Chapter  |  Not So Warm Welcoming

Part  |  Two

The next morning, instead of waking up in the rocking chair holding Cameron, I woke up in my bed. I was slightly confused, but at the same time I knew John must have carried me back to bed. I was a little upset that we didn't achieve what we planned on doing last night, but at the same time maybe it wasn't such a smart idea anyways. I remember our doctor telling us something about waiting a certain amount of weeks before we had any sexual intercourse, but of course John planted bugs in my head like usual. He told me it was okay as long as he would be gentle.

These past almost five years I've been married to John he was never gentle when it came to sex.

I slowly sat up in the bed and scratched an itch at the back of my neck just as soon as John stepped out of the bathroom with a towel hanging loosely on his hips. His eyes locked with mine and he smiled, but his eyes were hard. "Hey, you're up."

I nod my head and clasp my hands together. "Yeah...," I say not knowing what to say afterward. I was thinking about just apologizing for falling asleep last night and then telling him it probably was a good thing I did, but even though John has changed I was still being careful. Either way we were going to have to talk about it at some point so why not now? "Sorry for falling asleep last night."

He sighed and took a seat on the bed. "It's okay there are plenty of other times we can make love. Like now," he said lowly as he slowly leaned in and planted a kiss on my lips. I kissed him back, but once I did the kiss immediately turned urgent. He was grabbed the sides of my head with his hands and he tried pushing down on the bed.

No matter how hard I tried to pull away he just kept pushing our faces together. Not knowing what else to do I bit down on his bottom lip and he didn't hesitate to pull away. He brought his hand up to his bleeding lip and looked down at his blood covered fingers before his hard eyes went to me. I just looked back at him breathing heavily with wide eyes. "I'm sorry it's just that I think we should wait a while until we have sex like Doctor Weaver said."

John rolled his eyes before standing up from the bed. He walked over to the dresser next to the closet before pulling out a pair of navy blue boxers. He dropped his towel before slipping them on and turning to me. "Fuck what Doctor Weaver said," he mumbles as he picks the towel up from the floor.

He heads into the bathroom and I quickly fling the blankets off of my body and follow behind him. I speed walk across the bathroom and wrap my arms around him from behind as he hangs his towel over the shower rod. "Baby please let's just wait. Plus sex isn't our main priority now. We have a baby in the house now John. A baby. We shouldn't even be worried about intercourse right now we need to focus on making our son happy and feel welcome in this house John."

John stood there for a moment before slowly turning to face me. I removed my arms from around him before lifting my chin and looking him in the eyes. He stared down at me as he lifted his hand up and ran his knuckles over the side of my cheek slowly. "You're right. We have a child now and right now the only thing that matters now is him."

I smile widely before pulling him into my arms again. I squeezed him tight before looking into his dark blue eyes. I could see the love in them, but I could also see something else. I would be lying if I said I didn't see what I saw.

I saw anger.

March tenth had rolled around a week later and even though it was a Sunday John didn't take the day off. There was something important he needed to take care of, but he promised me he would be home earlier than his normal time since it was our fifth year wedding anniversary. He asked his mom to come out and babysit while he took me out to dinner and she didn't hesitate to say yes. The woman loved Cameron.

I was currently dressed in a red thick strapped dress that went down about two inches above my knee and a pair of matching red flats. My makeup was done to a minimum of bright red lipstick and black eyeliner. I felt beautiful now that I no longer had to hide my arms in sweaters and my legs in opaque stockings.

I smiled as I swayed side to side while holding Cameron in my arms. I smiled down at him before looking back at the television playing an episode of Elmo's World. I smiled down at Cameron showing teeth as he reached up for a lock of my curled hair. "Look at the T.V. Cammy!" Instead of looking at the television screen he continued to reach for my hair. "Okay, okay that's enough Cammy," I laughed as I pulled his hands out of my hair. I looked up at the clock and noticed it was past the time he came home even on a regular day. It was just a few minutes before seven.

Suddenly the sound of the front door slamming shut caused me to jump and gasp. Quickly I placed Cameron in his swing and picked up the remote control and turned the T.V. down. Just as I exited the family room, John walked pass me into the kitchen. I followed him and stood in the archway watching as he grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets before grabbing a bottle of wine from under one the cabinets under the kitchen island. He poured the red colored liquid into his glass before placing the bottle down and bringing his glass to his lips.

"John? Are you okay?" I ask as I slowly come towards him.

He moved the glass away from his lips and glared over at me. "No I'm not okay because everyone at the company has managed to piss me the fuck off and now I've got to come home to my annoying ass wife!"

I wince at his words, but ignore them. "I...I thought we were going out to dinner tonight. You said you'd be home before---"

"I know what I said goddammit!" he snapped. He finished the rest of his glass before placing it in the sink and putting the bottle back under the kitchen island. He exited the kitchen and I followed him into the living room. "We can do it another time, but right now I need to sit down, relax and have a moment of silence."

I just stood there and watched as he plopped down on the couch before reaching over and tickling Cameron's foot. He gurgled which caused a slight smile to form on his face, but once he pulled away his scowl returned. He reached forward and picked up the remote from the coffee table before turning it up and changing the channel. It was one of those crime investigation shows which never seemed to interest me, so I slowly walked over to Cameron and lifted him out of his swing.

"I'm going to put Cameron in bed," I say quietly and wait for his response. When he doesn't say anything I sigh and turn to leave the room. I try to hold my tears back as I make my way up the stairs and down the hall to his room. Once I reached his room, the tears that were threatening to fall suddenly disappeared and happiness filled me. I always felt this way whenever I stepped foot in Cameron's room. Just him and everything about him made me happy.

I smiled down at Cameron as I slowly laid him down on his back in his bassinet. I leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on his soft forehead before running my hand over his light colored hair. "Sweet dreams baby. Mommy loves you."

Once I left Cameron's room I slowly went back down stairs and entered the kitchen through the dining room. I rummaged through the cabinets and pulled out a granola bar before tearing off the wrapper. I leaned against the counter munching into my night snack while trying not to think of John's harsh words.

After I finished eating my snack I wiped my hands and threw my trash away. Slowly I walked into the living room and stood next to Cameron's baby swing with my arms wrapped around my chest. "Does Alexandria know you changed your mind?"

He glared over at me. "What do you think?"

I open my mouth, but no words come out. I shut my mouth and scratch my head. "So when are we going to go out? You said we could do it another time so---"

He groaned in frustration before quickly sitting up and picking up the remote. He muted the television before throwing the remote down next to him on the couch. "Can you please just shut up for a change? All you do is run your fucking mouth!"

Suddenly I felt anger surge through me which caused me to raise my chin higher and stand up straight. "What is wrong with you? You're upset because of something the people at the company did, but you're taking it all out on me for now reason! I stay home and cook, clean, and take care of our son and I get no respect whatsoever!"

He quickly grabbed the remote in his hand before standing up and coming to stand just a few steps away from me. "Stephanie, you better watch how you speak to me."

"I better watch how I speak to you? Actually it should be the other way around because I do everything for you and I never get anything in return!"

He shakes his head and laughs humorlessly. "I give you everything Stephanie. Jewelry, clothes, shoes, I give you everything."

I sigh and look at him with wide eyes. "Well if you weren't so stupid you'd realize that what I want is respect!"

Suddenly the remote in his hand airborne and before I could do anything it came in contact with my face. I yelped in pain and covered my face with my hands. Tears spilled into my hands and a sob left my mouth. Slowly I moved my moist hands from my face and looked up at an angry John. Before I could open my mouth his fist collided with my left eye causing me to fall to the floor on my hands and knees. My mouth is wide open, but nothing is coming out. I was shocked and terrified even. He was doing so, so well then he just...lost it.

"What did I say Stephanie? I told you to watch how you spoke to me and you thought I was playing a game. Talk to me like that again and I swear I won't be so nice. Now get your ass up and sit down somewhere," he says from above me.

I turn my head to look at him and open my mouth again, but the shock and fear was keeping me from saying anything. I frantically nod my head before quickly standing up and taking a seat on the couch John wasn't just sitting on. I sat on the cushion farthest away from the other couch and brought my legs into my chest while my left hand covered my eye and my right was wrapped around my legs. 

For the next thirty minutes I sat like that not paying attention to the television screen or John. He had been ten months since the last time he beat me. He doing so great and I actually believed he had gotten better if not for my sake then Cameron's. If John was going back to his old ways then how was I supposed to take care of a baby all sore and tired from all the beatings?

"Stephy, why are you sitting all the way over there? Come here," John said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I move my hand away from my eye and look up at him with fear in my eyes. I didn't want to be close to him, so why couldn't he see that?

"No," I whisper. 

I peek over at John and notice he's laid back on the couch, but his eyes were hard and he didn't look too happy with my answer. "Stephanie, I didn't ask you to come sit over here I told you to come sit over here. Now get over here right now."

I whimper before standing up and slowly walking over to the couch he was on. I stood there for a moment before sitting down so there was space between us. I heard him grumble something under his breath before I felt his hand latch onto my arm roughly and pull me closer to him. He wrapped an arm around me from behind and cupped the left side of my head before lowering it down onto his chest. I closed my eyes tight to keep tears from falling and pulled my legs up into my chest. He placed a kiss on the top of my head before looking back at the television screen still playing the crime investigation show.

We sat there for about an hour watching the show with him wishing I was curled up in the bed, but John wasn't having that. I wish I had just kept my mouth shut and went to bed as soon as I put Cameron to sleep. If I had done that maybe I wouldn't my face wouldn't be in so much pain and a bruise wouldn't be forming around my eye. The old John was back now because of my actions and I'm sure he has a lot of anger built up anger inside him so to say I was scared would definitely be an understatement.

I was terrified.