Brianna's POV:

Today was a day that I have been dreading for months; Paige and Michelle's wedding. I have however agreed to be her maid of honor, being her best friend and all I guess I kind of have to. It's my job even though I'm totally opposed to the whole thing and just the idea of marriage in general. I also have generously paid for their honeymoon to Hawaii, that was my wedding gift to them.

I can't believe my best friend has joined the dark side. I will definitely miss her. Married life is no fun. It's almost like when someone gets married, they completely forget about their friends. I won't let her do that though, I don't give a fuck. She's still going to be my club buddy. She's my best friend and that will never change, even if she is doing something that is totally against everything I believe in.

I get up and shower before getting into this ugly ass purple dress that Michelle picked out for all the bridesmaids. I don't understand why Michelle had to stick to the tradition that most weddings have of choosing horrible bridesmaids dresses. Like, come on really? She should have let me pick them out. Although I doubt any of my choices would have been "appropriate".

Of course I still look amazing in the dress. Purple isn't really my color, or even a color I really like. I look good in any color though. I look good in everything and even better in nothing. It's awesome being this sexy. I know I'll be the hottest girl in the room, and Michelle will be a close second. Michelle forced me into helping her choose a dress, despite my protesting. I really wanted nothing to do with it at all, but Michelle is a stubborn person, almost just as stubborn as I am. She's just one of those people in my life that I find hard to say no to a lot of the time.

After my hair and makeup are done, I put my shoes on. It was hard to find shoes to go with this hideous dress, but I found some. Michelle is lucky she's my best friend. Weddings just make me want to throw up. I don't know how so many people do it, I would never be able to. Even if someone had a gun to my head. Marriage is almost like a death sentence to me anyways.

Michelle told me Jessica is going to be attending, which is going to be quite awkward. I haven't seen or talked to her since running into her at Illusion. I feel pathetic for crying in front of her, I just couldn't control myself. Seeing her with that girl Kelsey... It just devastated me as much as I hate to admit it. I'm jealous, which again is something that goes against my values and morals. I could honestly care less though, I'm fucking jealous. Seeing her hands all over Jessica like that, it just... It hurt.

I've never denied the fact that I care about Jessica. I do, very much. More than I ever wanted to. She was supposed to just be another girl I slept with, but she turned into something more. She turned into someone that means the world to me. It's so hard to be without her honestly. It's hard not to beg for her to come back. I don't want to feel like this, it's pathetic. I just want her to be happy. I need for her to be happy, because her happiness means so much to me. She deserves it more then anyone.

Paige and Michelle are actually having a church wedding, which makes the situation even worse. Like them getting married wasn't bad enough already. I just hope I don't burst into flames when I walk into the church. I'm actually surprised they even found a church that will marry gays. I guess people are becoming more and more accepting, which isn't a bad thing. Marriage and churches are just two things I cannot stand, so this should definitely be a fun day.

When I arrive at the church, it's already crowded. Michelle isn't a subtle person, when she does things, she likes to do them big. After I park, I make my way to the bride's room that Michelle is getting ready in.

"Wow, you look hot." I greet Michelle, examining her in her dress. "I told you that one was a good choice."

"Thanks. You look good too Bri." She smiles at me as someone does her hair.

"I know. I always look good." I smirk.

"You do. It'll be just my luck that instead of all eyes being on me on my special day, they'll be on you." She glares at me.

Special day. How I fucking hate that phrase. It sends chills down my spine every time Michelle says it. There's nothing special about today. I feel bad for her honestly. If only she listened to me and my infinite wisdom.

"Shut up, you're beautiful Michelle." I compliment her.

"You're going to make me blush on my special day, you're so cute!" She goes from glaring to smiling in a matter of seconds.

I wince when she says it again. I'm trying to keep my cool and not say anything rude, because it is her wedding and I know it means a lot to her. That makes me a true friend. Putting aside my rudeness at her expense. I should reward myself with lots and lots of sex later. I am going to Illusion tonight, so that's the perfect opportunity to meet some hot girls. The problem is that there's no girls that interest me. There's only one girl I really want to sleep with... Jessica.

I feel myself start to tear up thinking about her. The honest truth is that I'm a complete emotional wreck. I try my best to keep it together, especially in front of people, but it's just hard. I've never felt this way in my life. I hate it, I hate it, I absolutely hate it. I just want this feeling to go away. I want to be the Brianna I was before I met Jessica. As much and as hard as I've been trying, I just can't seem to forget about her.

"Are you okay...?" Michelle asks, noticing me get teary eyed.

I pull myself together immediately. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" She continues.

"I'm fine. I just need to go get some air." I make any excuse I can to get out of there.

"I know Jessica meant a lot to you, and it's okay to be sad about the relationship ending." She just won't drop the subject.

"Dammit, I'm fine. I just need some air okay?" She's really starting to get on my nerves.

I walk outside to find Ellie leaning against the wall on her phone, completely alone, waiting for the whole thing to start. Since I can't spot anyone else that I at least remotely like, I decide to go over to her.

"Hey." I approach her, a friendly smile on my face.

"Oh hey Brianna." She looks up from her phone and smiles back. "How are you doing? Are you okay?" She asks, referring to the whole Jessica situation.

I sigh. "I'm fine..."

"You don't seem like it."

"I'M FINE." I respond, a certain sternness in my tone.

"Jeez, okay." She backs off. "I'm going to go get something to drink, you want anything?" She offers.

"No, I'm good." I reply.

"Suit yourself. I'll see you later." She walks off without saying another word.

Ellie is one of Michelle's bridesmaids too, along with Tiffany. I bet Jessica would have been one too... If things were different. It's weird, I can't get the words "I'm done" out of my head. It's stuck replaying over and over, making me a prisoner to my own mind.

I spot Jessica and Kelsey together, their arms wrapped around one another. Jessica looks beautiful, she's wearing a white dress that just makes her look stunning. To me, she always looks stunning anyways. She's the most stunning girl ever. Kelsey is just lucky I don't go over there and kick that bitch's teeth in. I'm resisting every impulse to go kick her ass. Tiffany comes up to me just as Jessica and Kelsey kiss.

"Oh shit..." She looks over in the direction I'm looking, and sees their lips interlocked. "I'm uhh sorry..." I can tell she doesn't know what to say or do at this point.

As much as I'm trying not to, I feel myself get teary eyed yet again, after seeing them kiss. Jessica is my girl and that bitch is all over her. I can't stand even stand the thought of them together, it just makes me want to bawl my eyes out. Seeing them together, that just... That breaks me.

"Are you okay?" Tiffany asks.

"I am so sick and tired of people asking me that." I turn to face her. "I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'M FINE. I'M JUST GREAT." Tears start roll down my cheeks, hopefully not messing up my makeup in the process. This brings me to a new level of pathetic, crying in front of Tiff. She's one of the last people I would ever want to let see me like this.

I expected her to make some sort of derogatory joke or say something offensive at me crying, but instead she does her best to comfort me. "Brianna, it's okay. Don't cry." She pulls me in for a hug, which is really one of the first times we've ever had any physical contact. "Don't let her ruin this day for you. I know you hate weddings and all, but it's your best friend. Try to enjoy yourself." She lets go and smiles at me. "It'll be okay."

I sniffle, wiping my tears away. "Is my makeup okay?" I ask.

"It's great. You look very hot as usual." She replies.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." I'm starting to calm down a bit and compose myself. The last thing I need to do is make a scene.

"Maybe a little... But you know you're hot. Everyone knows it."

"That's true." I smirk. "I knew it... You've been attracted to me this whole time."

"You're crazy." She giggles.

"Just so you know... You're not so bad yourself." I compliment her, which was the first time I've actually said anything nice to her.

"Wow, did you just actually say something sweet to me?" She grins.

I roll my eyes. "Don't get used to it."

"Trust me, I won't. I know for the most part that you don't have a heart... Or at least you never actually show that you do very often. It's nice when you're not being such a bitch."

"I just love to hate on you, I'm sorry. Well actually I'm not sorry. It's fun." I chuckle.

"Haha very funny." She glares at me.

I look down at the ground, avoiding her eye contact. "Thanks..."

"For what?" She asks.

"For being such... A good friend. I really... appreciate it." I tell her.

"Just remember that on my next birthday. I would really love a new car." She jokes. "But in seriousness, you're welcome. I know that you really care about her and it hurts. You cried Brianna, it's human. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

Tiffany did make me feel better. She's the last person I ever thought would make me feel better. Usually our friendship is full of sarcastic banter and rude comments, just the way I liked it. From now on I have a feeling our friendship will be different though, in a very good way.

As the wedding starts, I take my place up at the alter. Paige was there in a white dress, much like Michelle's but it was bigger and "poofier" and Michelle's was tighter and more form fitting. Paige looks gorgeous, just like Michelle. Wow, I'm actually being nice and somewhat enjoying myself aside from the Jessica thing. I'm at least enjoying myself more then I thought I would at this horrific occasion. I haven't burst into flames yet from being inside the church, so I guess that's good.

The "Here comes the Bride" music starts playing, as Michelle walks down the aisle with her dad. I smile at her, taking in just how incredible she actually looks. Seeing her in that dress took my breath away. I'm so happy to have her as my best friend. She's beautiful on the inside and out.

As the ceremony begins, the person doing it asks if there's anyone who objects. Just as I open my mouth to say something, Michelle turns to me, a glare plastered to her face. "Don't you dare say anything." She warns me, causing a few people to laugh.

After the ceremony is over, we all drive to this place Michelle and Paige reserved for the reception. We all sit at our assigned tables, and I'm up at the front with the brides and the bridesmaids. There was a variety of food they chose for their "special day" bullshit. I didn't eat much, mostly I just thought about Jessica and drank.

After everyone was done eating and supplying up on alcoholic beverages, it was time for me to give my speech, which was nothing special. "I've known Michelle forever now, I've been through so much with her. As you all know I'm not good at expressing emotions or umm..." I pause. "Feelings..." I continue. "But I couldn't be more grateful and blessed to someone like Michelle in my life. She's my best friend and I don't know how I could survive without her. Although she joined the dark side, I forgive her. I wish her and Paige all the happiness in the world." I turn to Paige and smile. "Take good care of her... Or I'll kick your ass." The last part causes some people to laugh, although I was dead serious. I raise my glass of champagne, causing everyone else to. "To Michelle and Paige."

Once the cake was cut and everyone got some, it was time for their first dance. Their song came on, and everyone watched as they danced together. I'm not one for romance ever, but my heart melted the slightest bit seeing how happy they are together. When they were done, more couples, including Jessica and Kelsey began to dance. I was left sitting alone, by myself, drinking my glass of champagne.

"Do you want to dance gorgeous?" Some girl who I had never seen before asks me.

"Fuck off." I reply, before taking a sip of my drink.

The look on her face was priceless, but it caused her to leave, so it's all good.

Tiffany takes a seat next to me, watching all the couples dance. I was watching one couple in particular... Jessica and Kelsey. As much as I wanted to look away and not care, I couldn't. Part of me just wants to go over there, push Kelsey to the side, grab Jessica, wrap my arms around her, and kiss her passionately.

"It sucks, doesn't it?" Tiffany speaks, causing me to look away.

"What does?" I ask.

"Being alone." She answers.

"I'm not alone... I could get any girl I wanted." I tell her.

"Then why are you sitting here talking to me?" She questions.

"Because I feel like it okay?"

After the reception is over and I say goodbye to Michelle, it's pretty late. Ellie apparently has to work in the morning, so I guess it's just Tiffany and me going to Illusion. Usually I would be mortified at it being just the two of us, but I don't mind so much after what took place earlier. I guess we're going to have a love-hate friendship now, which is the best kind to have. I love being mean to her, but I now know that she'll have my back, and I'll have hers.

We walk into the crowded club of lesbians, and go to the bar. I was already a bit tipsy from all I had drank at the wedding, but tonight I felt like getting beyond shit faced. I just want to forget. I want to forget Jessica for as long as I can. I want to forget seeing her and that stupid ugly bitch Kelsey together. I want to not feel anything for a while. I want to be numb. Being sad is gross, showing emotion is gross, caring is gross. I don't know why I care so much, or even care at all.

"Two shots of tequila please." I tell the bar tender, ordering for both Tiffany and me.

"Sure thing." She replies.

"Hey... I don't want any tequila. One of us has to be sober enough to drive." Tiffany objects.

"Party pooper. You're no fun." I roll my eyes.

The bar tender hands me the shots, and I do them both myself.

"Two more." I tell her. "And a beer too."

"That's a little much Brianna..." Tiffany warns me.

"I don't really care." I reply, scanning the club for a hot girl to fuck.

"Here you go." The bar tender gives me my drinks.

I down the shots and grab my beer. "Lets go." I tell Tiff.

"Where?" She asks.

"To our table, DUHHHH." I giggle.

"Oh boy, tonight is going to be fun." Tiffany comments, observing how drunk I'm getting.

Two girls were sitting at our table, how rude of them.

"Move." I literally push one of them off their seat and sit down.

"I'm sorry, she's had a lot to drink." Tiffany apologizes for me.

"No, I'm not sorry. I'm never sorry. Never ever ever sorry. Sorry is for losers. Sorry is bullshit." I take a sip of my beer.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Asks the girl I pushed.

"I'm Brianna fucking Steele. That's who the fuck I am. Bye now, bitch." I take another sip of my beer.

I was totally ready to kick some ass, but the girls left. Now I'm back to hunting down my next target. Finally I spot a girl. Black hair, nice ass, tall, tan, what more could I want in a girl?

"I'll be back." I whisper to Tiffany, and nearly fall getting out of my seat.

"Okay... Don't do anything stupid."

I leave Tiffany sitting there alone, and go up to the girl. "Hey there sexy." I slur my words as I speak.

"You're drunk." She laughs, observing me. "But you're hot. So continue."

"Do you... Do you w-want to dance?" I ask her.

"Sure." She moves closer to me, smiling.

As we begin to dance, I grow increasingly sad. My smile turns to a frown, and I begin to get emotional again. I guess I didn't think this through, the whole getting shit faced thing. I forgot that sometimes alcohol doesn't block shit out, it only brings it more to the surface.

"What's wrong?" She asks as I stop dancing.

"You're... You're not Jessica." I tell her before returning to Tiffany.

I take a seat, and tears begin to escape yet again.

"She reject you or something?" Tiffany has a confused look on her face.

"NO. SHE'S NOT JESSICA." I begin to sob at this point. "I WANT JESSICA." I know people were looking, but I couldn't piece myself back together, I was too far gone in my emotional turmoil.

"Let's get you home..." Tiffany helps me up as I sob.

I calmed down a bit once we were in my car. When we arrive at my loft, Tiffany helps me get into bed. I begin sobbing again at this point, thinking about Jessica. I'm having a complete break down, but I just can't help it.

"I miss her." I sob. "I miss her so much."

I really do. I miss everything about her. I miss the kisses and the cuddles and the way she smells and all the cute things she does. I miss everything. I just want Jessica. If she was here right now she would know how to make me feel better. She always knew how to cheer me up and make me smile. I miss her so damn much, it's killing me. I'm miserable and she's so happy with her new girlfriend.

"I know you do." Tiffany wraps her arms around me and hugs me. "It's okay."

"DON'T TELL ME IT'S OKAY, IT'LL NEVER BE OKAY WITH OUT HER!" I yell out loud enough for all the people on my street to hear. "I NEED HER OKAY." I could hardly even speak I was crying so hard. "I miss her Tiff. I miss her." I keep repeating myself. "I'll never be what she wants, I can't be. But I want to give her like everything I can." Once again, I was slurring my words. "I want to be her babe again and I just want her." I sound like a broken record.

"Brianna, you've had way too much to drink. Sleep is what you need."

"No. Jess is what I need." I tell her sternly.

"Then you know what you need to do."

"What's that?" I ask, still sobbing.

"You need to get her back."