17. Landon

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"Landon, what's wrong? You don't like it. I just knew you would like it." I zoned back in upon hearing my name, I looked at my mom and smiled, "oh no ma, it's good. My mind's just all over the place."

"What's going with you?" My dad asked looking concerned as he bit into his sandwich. I shook my head, letting him know I was good when I was far from it.The rest of the lunch I tried not to let it be known I was bothered as I talked and ate with my parents.

After lunch my dad dropped my mom off so that we could catch up and spend some time together before he had to hit the road again but I was just trying to go home. I enjoyed spending time with my dad but today wasn't the day.

"Talk to me son," he looked at me then looked back at the road.

"What you want to know?" I asked as I looked out the window, never looking his way.

"What's going on with you? Something's bothering you and it just came up. You were fine until you went to the bathroom at the restaurant. Was it a call, a text? What happened?" He always paid attention to detail but sometimes in my opinion he was just nosey as hell.

He always strived for us to be super close because he didn't grow up knowing who his dad was and he wanted to be nothing like him. And we were close, I could go to him about anything but I didn't always want to talk about everything. But I knew he wasn't going to drop it so I might as well talk to him about it, he honestly could probably give me some good advice.

"You want me to be real?" I asked finally turning and looking at him. "Of course," he said as he turned down the music. I looked back out the window. "I got a girl pregnant."

He turned his head quickly looking at me, "What?"
I sighed, leaning my head back on the headrest as I looked over at him. "You said you wanted the truth."

"You sure it's yours?" he asked as he turned into this bar we'd occasionally go to. "Man pops, if it was anybody else I'd tell you no. But this one is probably mine." He parked the car and we got out, "what makes you so sure?" he asked as we walked in.

"She ain't like that, it was a struggle just to get her to talk to me." I responded as we took a seat at the bar.

He looked at me and shook his head and then ordered us some beers, "I ain't happy about it, you know these girls will try and trap you"he began as the bartender sat the beers down. He took a sip of his before continuing, "you're handsome son, you get that shit from me." He laughed as I took swig of my beer. "You got good shit going on, got a name to yourself, and my name don't help." He finished.

I hated that last part, I was my own person and though I loved my dad I didn't want to be in his shadow but he was right. Girls were definitely on my dick for all that shit. "I know, but she don't even fuck with me." I replied.

He looked at me with his eyebrows raised, "what you mean?"

"She don't even talk to me, any time I tried talking to her before I found she was pregnant she straight up ignored me. But I did do some fucked up shit." As I got older my dad didn't trip about me cussing in front of him, it was a bad ass habit I had anyways, but he did too. Never did the shit with my moms though.

He took another sip of his beer, looking me in the eyes, "definitely watch out for that shit then. She could be trying to use you for what you got. If she hate you so much, why would she keep a baby by you?"

Damn, he had a point. He really got my mind spinning with that statement, I ain't want to believe that Aria was like that but you never knew with girls nowadays.

"Shit, bring her by the house, let me catch her vibe. I'm around gold diggers and spiteful bitches all the time, shit easy to spot now." I nodded my head in response before I picked up my beer and took it to the head.

--

I knocked on Aria's door again as I was standing outside of her apartment waiting for her to open the door, I'd spoken to her earlier to let her know I was coming by around this time so we could talk about this shit but she had yet to come to the door.

I started to bang on the door again when I heard her unlocking it. She opened the door with nothing but a big t-shirt on. She was rubbing her eyes looking like she just woke up, she looked at me wide eyed like she just realized who I was, "shit, I forgot. But don't be banging on my shit like you the police!" She demanded as she turned around to go to her room as I walked in closing and locking her door. I wasn't even going to respond to her statement.

She came back out with some shorts on and a regular sized T. I sat down on the couch as she took the one opposite.

She leaned back on the couch, "talk." She demanded.

I bite my tongue as I leaned forward, I was going to focus on why I was here and not her attitude or smart ass mouth. "So you pregnant for sure? Like went to the doctor and everything?" I questioned.

She nodded her head, "took some home pregnancy test last week, went to the doctor two days ago."

"You keeping it?" I looked her dead in her eyes.

She dropped eye contact, looking down at her shirt, playing with the seam at the bottom. She looked back up at me just to answer, "I don't know."

"Well where your head at?" I questioned. She shrugged, "I'm like 60/40 honestly. Part of me is like keep it, the other part is like abort it. What do you want me to do?" She asked as she looked me dead in my eyes.

I sighed, "I'm not going to tell you to abort the baby. But I damn sure ain't ready to be no daddy."

"And you think I'm ready to be a mom?"

"Ain't nobody forcing you to keep the baby Aria. That's why we talking about this shit."

"And ain't nobody forcing you to be a daddy Landon. You don't have to do shit if I decide to keep it."

I shook my head, "I'm not about to leave you out her to fend for yourself if you keep the baby. I'm not that type of nigga."

"I'll be fine, trust me" she spoke in a condescending tone as she picked up her phone.

I shook my head, I didn't like how she said that shit as if I wouldn't be any help anyways. I knew she was independent as hell but a baby wasn't some shit she should've had that mindset with. "It's a baby Aria, not a fucking car. This ain't no easy shit."

She looked up at me, "I'm well aware Landon, but I'm not about to force you to do shit. I'm not trying to put you in a situation you don't want to be in."

"You already did!"

She pointed at herself, "I already did? I'm sorry," she started pointing at me, "you're the one who didn't put on a condom, you're the one who didn't pull out. So you put yourself in this situation." She emphasized. "Don't even fucking try me like that."

I sighed knowing she was right, I looked down knowing I asked for that but I wasn't trying to argue with her. "So now what Aria?" I looked up connecting eyes with her.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I'm going to do what I have to do. I'll probably keep it if I'm being honest."

I couldn't flex like that shit didn't blow me. "Why?" I asked as calm as I could.

"Because I don't want to regret anything. And if I'm not fully dead set on getting rid of it I know I'll regret it. I know me."

I chuckled as I shook my head, I ran a hand down my face I knew it was a possibility she would keep it but with the way she hated me I just didn't understand why she would want to.

"Look, I'm not asking for shit from you Landon, and I want to make that very clear. You don't have to do shit for this child."

"You keep saying that shit and I already told you it's not going down like that. You can't stand my ass right?" I asked as she nodded eagerly.

"Then why are you doing this?" I asked as everything my dad said came to mind.

"Doing what?" she asked with her eyebrows scrunched in together like she didn't know what I was referring to.

"Keeping this baby! Is this shit to get back at me or some shit? You trying to get me for money? Like what is it? Cause that shit don't make sense to me. You hate me but you want to have my baby? Am I missing something?" I wasn't trying to come off as an ass but the shit really didn't make sense to me.

She looked at me like she was offended as she stood up, "are you fucking kidding me Landon?" she started walking closer to me, "get back at you by having a baby by your stupid ass? That's playing my fucking self. Get money? After I just sat here and told you that you ain't have to do shit for this child. I don't need shit from you. You don't have to do shit for me or this child. Mothafuckas don't even have to know you're the daddy. I give zero fucks. Don't come at me with that bullshit. Me deciding to keep my child is just that, me deciding to keep my child. You're not a fucking factor in any of it."

I nodded my head, chuckling as I bit my bottom lip. As I was about to respond her front door opened, we both looked over as two girls walked in both looking at us and speaking, I knew them both, I fucked one of them and I was hoping she wasn't her roommate. I gave a head nod as Aria spoke, she was standing in front of me fuming, the shit was visible as fuck and I knew they could tell.

"Everything okay?" the one I fucked asked as she looked between the two of us with a slight look of confusion and concern mixed.

I looked at Aria, as she nodded her head with a fake ass smile. "Let's go to your room," I said as I got up heading towards her room, not even bothering to look back to see if she was following me or not. I didn't want anybody in our business so I wasn't about to keep having that conversation in her living room.

Aria came in behind me closing the door, she leaned against the door with her arms crossed, voice much quieter and calmer than it was a few seconds ago as she started talking, making it clear she also wanted to keep shit private. "What? There ain't shit else to talk about. We figured it out, I'm keeping the baby, and you want no parts. Got it. You can go."

I sat down on her bed, running my hands down my face. "Aria," I began calmly "I'm not letting you do this shit by yourself. I'm not letting my child grow up without a father. So stop saying that shit."

She shook her head, "nah, I don't want you doing anything you don't want to, and it's very clear this isn't what you want. And I completely understand."

I was getting annoyed and I felt like she was purposely being childish as fuck at this point. "Aria, this shit is real. I'm not about to sit here and play these petty ass games with you. Stop with the bullshit."

She chuckled, putting her hand to her chest. "You think I don't know that shit Landon? I'm the one that's fucking pregnant. I'm the one that has to deal with the shit more than anyone. You telling me to stop with the bullshit after you came at me with bullshit? Fuck out of here. You really came in here trying to play me as some weak ass bitter broke bitch."

"Man Aria I'm just trying to make sense of this shit. Like what type of person is going to purposely keep somebody they hate in their life? It don't add up."

She laughed, an annoyed laugh. "I've literally just told you —" She paused, "you know what Landon just get the fuck out." She demanded.

I sucked my teeth, "man, I don't know how to handle this shit okay? I get it, you keeping the baby for you. But with that baby comes you and me. You don't just get to cut me out because you want to. Yeah I'm mad about it, yeah I'm questioning it because I'm not ready for this and I'm just trying to make sense of it Aria."

She licked her lips as she looked at me with pure animosity, "well I'm going to help you make sense of it one last time, yes I don't like you because you did me dirty as fuck. If I had a choice you wouldn't be this child's father, not by a long shot. But I'm pregnant and this child didn't ask to me made but guess what? We made it, if I could say I one hundred percent wasn't ready and wouldn't feel like I would regret it I would get rid of this child trust me! But I can't."

I nodded, kind of understanding it as I let out a deep breath. "Well, understand that I'm not going anywhere as long as you have my child. You're  not pushing me out of this child's life. This some shit we have to prepare for. Some shit we have to deal with. So you need to get use to this we shit."

"I was never trying to push you out of this child's life!" she said as she threw her hands up. "You the one coming at me with bullshit that's the only reason I'm making it clear that I can do this shit if you want no parts."

"Well it's not a fucking option Aria. So let's move the fuck on."

She rolled her eyes as she turned around facing her dresser, she looked at me through the mirror and shook her head. "Okay," she said. "Can you go now?"

I could already see how this shit was going to be and I wasn't a fan of it, something was going to have to give if we were going to successfully co-parent. I didn't even respond as I made my way towards her door and walked out.

As bad as I wanted this shit to be a sick joke, it was real as hell. I ain't have just myself to worry about anymore.

--

"You know what you getting?" I asked Aria as she put her menu down. We were downtown at one of my favorite spots, I got her to agree to sit down with me so that we could talk and get on the same page since we would be co-parenting.

I had came to terms that this shit was happening regardless of how much I didn't want it to. She nodded her head as she looked around the restaurant, making sure her focus wasn't on me too long. I shook my head as I put my menu down as well.

The waiter came to our table and we placed our orders, once she walked away I started talking, "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I'm sorry about that bet situation. Seriously." She sighed sitting back as she picked up her drink and drank some of it. "I feel like this needs to be the start of us moving forward though. I ain't asking you to forget the shit. But at least forgive me." I finished.

She put her drink down, "I have."

"I can't tell, you've ignored me heavily and you've  had nothing but an attitude since we have been in contact."

"I'm sitting here with you right now right?"

"With an attitude." I let out as she rolled her eyes, "and thats only because we have a baby on the way Aria, otherwise we wouldn't be."

"I don't have an attitude, just because I'm not sitting here trying to make small talk with you. And we wouldn't need to be sitting here otherwise, what you did was fuck up and just because I forgave you doesn't mean I have to associate with you."

I nodded my head, she had a point. "I don't feel like you've fully forgiven me." I admitted.

She pulled her straighten hair back as if she was putting it in a ponytail to remove her hair off her shoulders, "I mean it's going to take time Landon, you can't expect me to be all happy go lucky with you. It's not going to happen and especially not as quick as you're wanting it to. I put some trust in you and I was a joke to you the whole time."

I was so used to being forgiven quickly and easily that this was honestly new to me, I fucked up her trust with me and I made that bed and now I had to lay in it and I didn't like it.

The waiter came to the table with a new drink for Aria, stopping the conversation for a second as Aria thanked her. "But whatever, it is what it is now. All we need to focus on is this baby now. K? K." she finished.

"You weren't a joke to me the whole time." I felt the need to let her know. "I enjoyed my time with you and I feel like you know I was really fucking with you, just off of that shit with Mark alone."

She rolled her eyes, "let's not okay?" I wanted to, but I respected her wishes. "Okay," I responded.

"Do your parents know?" she asked playing with the straw in her drink, finally giving me some type of conversation.

"My dad does, my mom doesn't know yet."

She nodded her head. "Did you tell your parents?" I asked in return.

She nodded, "yeah, my mom knows and I'm sure she's told my stepdad, but surprisingly he hasn't hit me up about it yet." She made a face like she just realized that.

"You don't talk to your real dad?" I questioned.

She shook her head no, "he wasn't ready to be a daddy, so he ran when he found out my mom was pregnant" she looked up at me.

That was some weak shit, I wasn't ready to be no daddy but I wouldn't do no weak shit like that. "Damn, how old was she when she had you?"

She brought her eyebrows in together looking like she was thinking about it, "Mm, 19 or 20." One or two years younger than we were, "oh okay." I responded with a nod.

"What about you? How old were your parents?" she asked as she rested her head on her fist.

"My pops was 25 and my moms was 24. They tell me I was a honeymoon baby." I smiled at the thought.

She smiled back, "that's so cute. That's how I wanted to do it." She looked down at her straw as she started to play with it again. I just looked at her for a second, admiring the smile on her face before it disappeared.

Sitting here talking to her made me realize how little we knew about each other, I mean we knew some things like the basics from the couple of times we kicked it. But it was so much shit to learn. So much shit to put into perspective from our different backgrounds.

"Landon!" I turned around at hearing my name as my eyes landed on Casey approaching the table. "Shit." I said lowly, this was the worst timing. I looked at Aria, who just laughed a little and shook her head. I didn't tell Casey about any of this shit so I knew how this looked to her.

She got to the table shooting daggers at me with her eyes, I looked to see if anybody else was with her, relieved when I realized it was just her. I ain't have time for none of her loud mouth ass friends. "Wassup?" I spoke trying to play it cool.

She looked at me like I lost my mind, "wassup?" she asked, "you tell me!" She demanded as she looked and pointed at Aria. I wasn't ready to tell Casey yet because I knew the shit that would come with it. The only people who knew were Jodie, Chris, and my dad, who still wanted to meet Aria to make sure the shit was real.

Aria let out a deep breath as she got up and announced she was heading the bathroom. It was clear she wanted nothing to do with this and I didn't blame her.

Casey looked at her as she started walking away, "yeah, that's your best bet."

Aria stopped, turning around, opening her mouth to say something and then just sighed and shook her head instead before continuing to the bathroom. I didn't have time for this shit.

"Don't come over here starting shit," I ordered as Casey put her focus back on me. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're sitting here with this bitch and you telling me not to start shit? Like what the fuck is this Landon?"

I looked around as a few tables were looking at us. "Lower your voice," I demanded as I started to explain. "It's not shit like what you're thinking Casey, trust me on this. We can talk about this shit later, I promise. So go pick up your food and I'll call you later." I had put Casey on to this spot and now she loved it just as much as I did, if I would have known she would have decided to get food here today I wouldn't have chose this spot.

She crossed her arms, still looking at me like I lost my mind. "Tell me what it is now." She bossed.

I

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