Chapterish 63

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| SEATTLE |

Oh heavenly universe, it has been six days since my last text/call/communication with Brooks. These are my qualms:

Why?

I don't get it.

What's he doing in NC?

Who's* he doing in NC?

Is he even in NC?

Seriously, why?

Ok. I'm a basic bitch girl.

It's six days too long. TOO long. But I won't crack first.

It has been one month since New Years. Since Vail. Since I've seen Brooks. One month exactly.

I've been getting back into my ordinary routine at Go Zen. Classes are booked solid for two weeks out and the local coffee bar has my cold brew ready for me every morning. So things are good, really looking up for me.

Still, it's been six days.

I won't crack.

Brooks and I left New Years on good terms. It's been a bit of a crash coming down from the NYE high. We agreed he could come visit me if he wanted, but we didn't actually make a plan. We didn't pick a time or a weekend. I find myself hoping he will just spring it on me –show up at Go Zen like he did over Thanksgiving.

I find myself getting my hopes up. Every time the door opens in the middle of a lesson, I glance over secretly wishing to see him.  Almost expecting to see him but instead it's just someone trying to make a last minute class.

Our conversation has been mostly texting sprinkled with the occasional late night phone call. The last time we talked it was a phone call. That was five nights ago. He called me at 11 PM. Of course for him it was already 2 AM. I heard loud noise in the background, music I think. I found myself wondering what he was doing and who he was doing it with.

Until I reminded myself I'm not allowed to wonder about those things. Well, I can wonder. But I'm not allowed to care.

He told me he would call me the next day. And he didn't. Nor did he text. So I made a point to not text him. I was worried at first but I know he's OK. His social media page let me know he was at a party that night. So were a lot of incredibly attractive hoe bags.

Not.

Allowed.

To.

Care.

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