Chapterish 20

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...

THE LAST PARTY

I roll over in bed –my empty bed –and my first thought of the morning is: The carnival is tomorrow.

We're all going in typical fashion: together. The group. The old-turned-new again group. I'm not mad about it. It just seems very public. After all, this carnival is held for the town, by the town, in front of the entire town.

I can't help but panic a bit. This is it. The summer is really almost over this time. I can't put off going back to Seattle any longer. I've left Zoë high and dry these last three weeks, relying on her so much. It's unfair. It's irresponsible. And it's all for one reason. One person.

The thought of leaving him actually causes my stomach to tie into knots. Not like cute butterflies-are-swarming knots, but like intense ones made from sailor's ropes and with hooks that tear up my insides. Painful knots. As I sit on my bed and comb out my wet hair, I can't help but enjoy the knots.

They mean this was all real. He's still real. And I'm going to leave him this time. Just need to somehow become strong enough to do so in the next 24 hours.

My phone buzzes against my leg somewhere beneath my sheets. Love losing my phone in my bed and playing hide and seek with it in the morning. It doesn't even matter that I'm currently pissed at Brooks. I still hope it's him.

BEACH @ 10! 

DECK 2NITE

Trix and Meg's messages come through almost simultaneously. It means they're already together. I click my phone close and look at the time. 9:33 AM. Thanks for the notice, girls.

I drag myself out of bed and search for my bikini. My stomach still feels sick from my last conversation with Brooks. The beach is OK, but a deck party tonight? Somehow it's unappealing now. Seeing him is unappealing now. Wonder how long this feeling can last.

I punch back to Trix.

C U @ 10

<3 <3 <3 Hearts from Trix.

...

Well, we beached. For like six solid hours and now it's just after 4 PM. Pissed they made me leave. I need to be soaking in every last bit of east-coast sun possible before tomorrow. What I don't need to be doing is getting changed for a party at Back Bay.

"I might skip out tonight. Big day tomorrow," I say, stuffing my beach tote into Trix's trunk.

"No," Meg says, shaking her head.

"Oh stop," Trix whines. "It's going to be fun. And if it's not, then we'll all leave."

"Yea, don't let some dick ruin your almost last night in town," Meg nods.

"Ugh," I sigh loudly.

I ignore them both on the way back, enjoying the solitude of the back seat. We stop for food in town and then go back to my house to eat and relax before we go to Travis's tonight.

Showers all around.

"Do I have to?" I whine, three hours later.

"Yes, now shut up." Meg brushes out her wet hair.

"But I don't–"

"Want to see him? We knowww. Spare us the monologue," she says.

"Rude."

"You're rude. Didn't he like apologize five times?" Meg asks.

"Maybe if you took his calls," Trix begins.

"Doesn't matter how many times he apologized or how many times he's called me. He's a pig. Like always." I shrug.

"Not like you've been behaving these past few weeks," Meg says, shrugging back.

"Meg!" I shout.

"What? I mean come on. We're all here for it, don't get me wrong. But whatever happens this time –it's both of your faults now," Meg says.

Shit, she's right.

"Whatever." I sigh.

"Em, it'll be fine. Everyone is going," Trix says, playing good cop.

"But I fucking hate him. He ruins everything. All the time! ALWAYS!" I groan.

"Weren't you guys fine? Like yesterday?" Trix asks.

"Ya, you guys have been boning for like three weeks straight. What's wrong now?" Meg throws down the brush on my chair.

"Ladylike," I nod.

"Look who's talking," Meg smirks.

"It was like two weeks, bitch. And that was before he went all Man on me." I slip on my off the shoulder dress. Very cute. Very AEO.

"Why didn't you just make something up? Give him a number?" Meg asks.

"Because, Meg! I shouldn't have to. I don't owe him anything. He's a dick." I curse.

"OR it's because you didn't want to lose," Meg says, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Lose?"

"Yea. Lose to him. You two are at each other's throats constantly. Always a competition."

"She's right, you know," Trix chimes in. "Maybe you don't like the idea of how many girls he's dated."

"But I'd never ask." I roll my eyes at them. They're right. And I hate that they're right. I hate that part of me misses the 18-year-olds we used to be, back when we'd only seen each other naked. "Especially considering we aren't dating."

"Right. Especially," Meg repeats.

"He's just an ass," I whine.

"Well, chances are the ass will be there tonight, so just try to avoid him if you need to." Trix pulls on a tank top over her bra.

"Great. Wonder who he'll parade around with this time," I sigh, loud.

"Well, whoever it is won't be as hot as you, babe." Trix pats the top of my head like a five-year-old.

"Don't try to butter me up, bitch. I'm already going. As long as you both know I'm going for you guys. Because it's our last night. That's it." I fold my arms.

"Hey, your second to last night." Meg shakes her head.

"Yea, yea."

...

Back Bay is packed tonight. More than before. More than high school. The three of us walk across the sandy grass on the side of the house. We pass through clouds of pot smoke that are broken up only by clouds of cigarette smoke. I see a liquor table set up under the canopy and multiple kegs beneath the table.

The deck is the same. Overcrowded. Trix grabs my hand and pulls me forward into the crowd; I drag Meg behind me. WTF are these people? There's a horde of 22 year-old girls stationed by the door, wearing crop tops that are basically just bandanas. Five feet away is the equal trash-quality group of dudes trying to hit on them.

A tall bro in a polo drops his red cup all down the front of Trix's tank. What is with cups spilling on girls' shirts at this place?

"Yuck!" Trix shrieks walking through the door.

"Sorry," the guy says, shrugging. What a stupid grin.

"Stop!" Meg swats his hand away when he tries to pat off Trix's chest.

"What's with all these fucking people?" I ask, turning my head around as I follow them into the back room.

"Last party of the summer. Travis invites the whole town," Meg says next to me.

"I'd say."

"More people means more distractions," Trix says, shaking out the bottom of her shirt.

"Who is it that needs a distraction?" Travis appears at the kitchen counter next to us.

"Hey babe," Trix says, kissing him.

"What happened to your shirt?" Alex walks up, carrying a pitcher.

"Spill. Compliments of the college kids out back," Meg answers.

"Hi guys." Nate walks up and hands a beer to Meg. I tense up. I can't help but look over Nate's head to try and find a certain someone.

"Hey," I mumble. I need approximately 17 drinks.

"So when did ya guys get here? Anyone try a skippy yet?" Alex asks, raising his cup.

"Alex used his special ingredient," Travis says. A cigarette is tucked behind his ear.

"You don't want to know," Nate laughs.

"So who is up for a game?" Alex asks.

"Us!" Trix says, grabbing my arm. Meg nods too.

"Not another game," I sigh.

"Kings?" Travis asks.

"It's too crowded for a card game. You can't even hear in here," Meg says.

"We can go into the den. No one's in there," Travis says.

"Isn't the den off-limits?" I ask.

"Not for us," Travis shakes his head.

"Den it is. For the ladies," Alex says, passing out plastic cups of what I'm assuming is his skippy.

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