"You don't understand;
it's not that she can't love
it's that she's afraid"

One More Mistake
Chapter forty-two

. . .

She didn't know it but I sometimes wondered what she was thinking. Like right now, as she stared off at the angry clouds, I wondered. She didn't even realize I was watching her with the urge to demand her to look at me instead. She was left clueless to my attraction/fascination towards her.

. . .

❱ "What are you thinking about?" Rory asked, his voice soft. I removed my eyes from the beautiful dark clouds and towards the boy who was leaning onto the door. His eyes were staring back at me with intensity, catching me by surprise. He seemed different with me and I'm not sure if I liked it or not. He had his arms across his chest, showing off his lean arms. His lips slowly warmed me up with a small smile.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked back.

He seemed like he was in thought as well.

"About you." He said back, without blinking.

"Do you tell this to everyone you hate?" I asked, ignoring that feeling I got when he said it.

Laughter roared around us and suddenly I realized that it was Rory. I've never seen him laugh before, it was odd seeing him bringing down his walls with me. He was always so cold and shut off with me before, what changed?

Nevertheless, I stared at him with curious eyes. I felt my lips lift up to a smile when I saw his face bright up. He often felt like a stranger but when he looked at me like this, I felt like I've known him forever.

He started to make his way out and towards the balcony, soon standing next to me. His laugh faded but the way his eyes looked at me didn't fade away. In fact they got even more intense. It didn't help that I felt myself doing the same.

"Hate is a strong word," he whispered, his tone coated with something I couldn't figure out. He was now standing a few inches away from me and realized his smile was long gone, replaced with a frown. He stared at me like he was expecting me to add something to that, but I stayed silent.

"Is that how you think I feel about you?" he asked, taking another step towards me.

I breathed in.

That was a loaded question. Why couldn't he have asked a simpler question, one that I could actually answer without feeling like I was lying to myself?

"I don't care about what you think about me" I said, turning away from him and trying to focus on my breathing. He was clearly serious about this question but I didn't know what to do with it. I tried to remind myself that he wasn't on my side, he wasn't anyone important. Rory was just a boy who was trying to burn me like everyone.

Rory was like everybody else. I repeated.

"I hate when you do that," he confessed and I knew exactly what he was talking about. His voice wasn't soft anymore but heavier.

"I do, too" I whispered so quietly, hardly audible.

He sighed, and it felt as if he was tired of trying, finally realizing that I was not worth his time.

"Sterling asked me to call you. He wanted to talk to you" he told me, and I turned to look at him but he wasn't even looking at me anymore. He had his hands in his pocket, staring off at the dark night.

I lingered a second longer, hoping to catch his gaze but he didn't ever turn my way and it almost felt like I didn't exist. And just like that, the small moment that was going on between us ended, vanishing with the air.

I clenched my fist and walked away without a second glance. I furrowed my eyebrows, anger clouding my judgment.

I knew I was the one who was pushing away, I was at fault here, but why did I feel like this? Betrayed, and disappointed?

I was the one who pushed him away, I'm the one who did this to myself.

"Thea" I quickly looked up and noticed sterling standing in front of me while he was holding his stomach in pain. His bloodshot eyes stared at me with concern.

"What happened?" I asked, ignoring the look on his face.

He brushed it off before laying flat on the bed. He sighed before turning to look at me.

"You look different, older" he admitted, a sad look covering his features. I knew what he meant by that.

"Then last time I saw you, those two months really did make a difference" he added as he looked away and probably thinking the same thing I was.

Those two months that I thought he was dead.

"I just wish things didn't turn out like this. You were my best friend- you still are." He stood up and sat quietly, in thought.

"You know, when I came back I already knew that you were going to hate me and I made myself believe that I was going to be okay with that but I'm not" he looked up at me with tears in his eyes. His sad eyes.

"It's not the same anymore, this town, my friends, the place I call home, this new you. It hurts knowing that nothing isn't ever going to be the same, not the way I left it. I should've known that when I first decided to walk away, fake my death. Now these are my consequences." he wiped the only tear that ran down his cheek and stood up with a sigh.

I ignored that feeling deep in my heart, the slight tug. I shouldn't feel bad for him, he was the one who decided to leave. But I couldn't help but wonder if he was okay, if his smiles were only a facade.

"It's pretty late, you should probably head home now" he said and it was as his confession didn't happen. His eyes were clear, and empty.

It took me a minute before I reacted. I checked the clock and realized it was about to hit ten o'clock and I was still here. I was supposed to get home by five.

Sterling noticed my sudden panic and raised his eyebrows.

"What's wrong?" he asked as I felt his hand heavy on my shoulder.

"It's late, I lost track of time and knowing Bruce he's probably going to kill me" I said, and noticed the fear that flashed his eyes.

Before Sterling got a chance to speak, I heard my phone ring. I got my phone from my pocket and read Alec's name on the screen.

Bruce probably told Alec to call me.

I clicked the red button and noticed the missed calls from him. I turned my phone off before looking back at Sterling who was still looking at my screen.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked but didn't wait for him to respond before I slipped away from him and walked away. I was already down the stairs when I heard Sterling call me. I turned to look at him and I noticed how concerned he was.

"Didn't you get a ride from Rory? Aren't you going to wait for him?" He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows. He was starting to make his way downstairs, probably to get Rory but I quickly stopped him.

"No, I could walk, it's okay." I didn't wait for him to come downstairs because I left. I closed the door before making my way out of the gates and once I was outside I started to walk though I stopped once I heard my phone ring, again.

I sighed before grabbing my phone and unlocking it. It was Alec who was calling again but instead of declining the call I answered. Before I could speak he spoke first.

"Where the fuck are you?" He asked, venom dripping through his voice.

"Look, I'm aware of what I did and I'm also well aware of what Bruce is going to do to me when I come back, so..." he cut me off.

"Well good thing I didn't tell him that you've been missing all day, huh? Now tell me where you are?" He asked but I couldn't believe what he told me. He didn't tell Bruce that I haven't been with him all day. I quickly answered back when I realized I've been quiet for a while.

"I'm by Rory's house, do you know where that is?" I wasn't sure if he knew where Rory lived but I did know that he knew who Rory was.

"You were with Rory?" He asked but didn't let me answer.

"Yeah, I do know where he lives. I'm a couple blocks away, wait for me there" he said and before I could say something, he ended the call.

I stared at the screen, wondering how hell he knew where Rory lived.

Thank you so much for reading!! Literally, it means a lot!