Ch.28:The World Stood Still

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*barely edited*

          Charlotte's POV

       I couldn't sleep.

      The events that took place in the morning left me raw and antsy. I had so much on my mind that I thought my brain was on fire; that I thought it would be impossible to even close my eyes as I tried to do so, so many times already throughout the night. I found myself unable to not replay the way Chris had looked at me or the way he had found pleasure walking away from me.

        Was that how it had felt for him when I left him? Was the pain and frustration this intense or is my being pregnant  and hormonal had something to do with the fact that I was so close, so very close to let those tears come out and soak my pillow.

        Then there was James. James who was there and witnessed it all go down and just kept quiet because he knew that's what I needed. I knew there were so many things he could have said; so many things he wanted to say, but seeing how upset I already was probably was enough.

       Seeing Chris had put a damper on what should have had been a happy day. Not only for myself, but for James. And now, all I could think about was him. Thoughts of Chris were occupying every minute spent in this conscious state. It shouldn't be this way. Seeing him after all these years shouldn't affect me the way it was. And yet, well here I was, unable to keep him out of my mind long enough to concentrate on literally anything else. And as it seemed, the harder I tried to rid my mind of thoughts of him, the deeper they were clawing at my brain.

        I had to do something or I was scared this would drive me insane one way or another. Maybe I could go see his sister and apologize to her so that in turn she could pass that on to him because I knew he wouldn't ever want to see me. I got up and off the bed, the urge to have a glass of wine hitting me harder the closer I got to the kitchen, remembering the nonalcoholic wine James had purchased for me after learning of the baby.

      I silently thanked the heavens when I was finally able to locate the bottle which I  did not waste time opening the second it was safely seated on the counter, and poured myself a much deserved glass. Nothing could ever replace the taste of actual wine but this, this was as good as it could get, minus the alcohol.

      I took a sip and moaned as it traveled down my throat. I could almost will myself and trick my mind to think that this was actual wine....almost.

       And while I stood there in my kitchen, a glass of fake wine in hand, already trying to remember if I still had Chris's sister's number in my cell, the home phone started ringing. I frowned and looked at the time displayed on the clock while wondering what was so important that anyone would call this late in the night because 12:45 a.m definitely was too late.

          "Hello?" I answered when I finally reached the phone.

         "Ma'am, there's a gentleman named Christian Kane who's here to see you."

       And just like that, the world stood still.

___________

       "Ma'am? Are you still there?"

      I shook my head. The fogginess escaping as I tried to bring myself back, noticing how tight my grip was on the phone. I could have sworn that I heard him wrong. I must have have heard him wrong.

      "I'm sorry," I chuckled nervously. "What?"

       "I was saying that there is a gentleman down here in the lobby asking for you?" Well at least that part was right. I cleared out my throat, this doing nothing to remove the massive ball that was closing my throat.

      "What's the name again?"

      "Christian Kane, ma'am."

       "Oh," I replied because that seemed like the best and only thing that could come out of my mouth. I took a deep breath and out of my mouth came something I could easily regret for the rest of my life. "Yes, you can let him up."

       "Right away."

       "Uhm, Roy?" I called out before he could hang up.

      "Yes, ma'am?"

      "Does he seem agitated?" I wanted to know what I was getting myself into.

      "No ma'am. Not that I can tell."

       "Okay, thank you."

       I placed the phone back and walked right on over to the bottle I had left on the counter. Not like that alone could calm my nerves, though that  actually didn't matter.

        The elevator dinged. And as it opened, I was yet again reminded of why this was such stupid idea. I took a deep breath, put the bottle down and went to the elevator to greet him.

___________

       "Chris" I breathed out, noticing then that I had held my breath. And, knowing, by the way my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating, the exact reason why. He was resting his head on his arm by the elevator door, his body leaning forward. He wasn't yet looking at me and still, I could just imagine what was going through his mind. I wondered what he was doing here, of all places. Why now?

       "How do you know where I live?" I asked when he still wasn't looking at me. He laughed then.
 
        "I guess I have my ways of being resourceful when need be." He replied, finally lifting his head to look at me then took a step out of the elevator and toward me. My heart skipped. I took a step back. He chuckled.

        "Who?" I asked again.

        "It doesn't matter who, now does it?" He retorted, his voice sounding dismissive and irritated, though he tried very hard to hide it.

         "Okay, then what are you doing here?" I asked.

        "Isn't that the million dollars question, Charlotte?" He replied, taking controlled steps towards me.

       "You're being evasive." I chided him. He shrugged his shoulders. Was that how the night was fixing to be? Me asking him questions and him doing the most not to actually respond knowing that it has always been a pet peeve of mine.

      "So, this is home sweet home. Your hideaway, huh?" He came closer to me which made me much more aware of him. I held my breath.

      "I'm not hiding." I was able to get out. Wanting to prove to him that his presence wasn't affecting me the way I knew it was. I held my head high, arms crossed in front of me.

       He walked past me, I turned slightly to follow him with my eyes. My heart was beating at a rhyme it hasn't in a long time and it was all because of him.

       "I could have given you this," he finally got out, then turned to meet my eyes. "All of this. You didn't have to go back to him. "

      I should have been angered, enraged even at what he was insinuating; but as I heard the words, all I could feel was sadness.

        "I think you know me better than this." I smiled sadly.

        He shook his head. "I thought I did, Charlotte. I thought I did. I also thought we were in love, and yet look what happened."

       "I did love you."

      "And still you left. I asked you to move in permanently, I kissed you goodbye the next morning, I left for work and then when I came back home from work, you were gone. You were simply gone, Charlotte. Do you know how that made me feel?"

       "Chris_" I started. He shook his head, making me swallow the words I was about to let out.

       "Do you?"

       "I'm sorry." I replied softly, my eyes watering. I looked down at my bare feet; anything other than him. I was a coward. I could not bear seeing the pain on his beautiful tanned face.

        "You left, Charlotte. You left without a word and not only that, you wouldn't see me or pick up my calls. Then you went right back into his arms. He, the son of a bitch who hurt you so badly and left you broken."

      My tears were falling freely now. There was no lie in the things that he was saying. My own selfish actions staring right back at me. "I'm so sorry." I whispered and finally looked up, wiping the tears off my face. Oh God. I should have braced myself for the image that was presented to me then.

       Because the Chris who was standing in front me, shoulders slacked, head down; this Chris I had never met. I ran to him and wrapped him in my arms as much as I could, his head coming to rest on my shoulder, his body shaking.

        "You broke me, Charlotte. You broke me and I don't think I've ever felt pain as strong as that."

       "I'm so sorry, Chris. "

       "You loved me like I didn't think I could be loved, you made me believe that I could have a forever of that. And when I let my guards down, you just left and took my heart with you."

        "I'm sorry. " I said again. He lifted his head, annoyance written all over it. He took a step back, staring at me.

       "Stop saying that. Stop saying you're sorry. Stop apologizing to me."

      I let go of him. "I don't know what else to say." I told him.

     "Tell me why you did it. Why you left this way without any decency towards me; Someone you've spent more than a year with."

      "I don't know how to explain." I murmured. Eyes still glued to the floor.

       "Fucking try." I looked up just in time to find him pacing back and forth.

       "I can't." I met his eyes.

       "Fuuuuuuckkkk." He growled, his hands at the back of his head as his body was folded in half. He stayed that way for a moment. I didn't know what else to say to make the situation better, so naturally, I said the only thing I knew I shouldn't say.

       "Sorry." I mumbled. He chuckled and took the few steps needed for him to be so close to me that I could see the hairs in his nostrils.

       "I fucking hate you."

      "I know." I breathed out.

       Then, just like that, he kissed me.

       ___________

Omggggg 😬😅 Okay getting closer to where the stopped last year. I'm excited for what I have in mind.

     

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