"So that whole banana bread thing- you're totally serious about that being off the table? Because remember that time you forgot about the very real consumation of our love? I think I deserve child support. In the form of baked goods."

"Hello to you, too, Parker. I hope your day is going swell."

"So... yes? Is what I'm hearing? Delicious banana bread goodness is coming my way?"

"Probably not, I'm taking summer classes so I'll be too busy trying to not bang my head against the wall to do any baking. It's an unfortunate trade-off, but sadly, inevitable. Also you're a loser, so there's that."

"I'm going to ignore that last bit because I know deep down, you don't really mean it. It's okay. But hey- where do you go?

"What? Where do I... go? Like about? In my life?"

"While I'm very interested in what Mina does on a daily basis, don't get me wrong, I meant school. Where do you go?"

"Oh, right, makes sense. Western, actually. I'm trusting you to do not weird or perverted things with that information. Please don't disappoint me."

"Hmm, weird. I go there too."

"Well, there's only one university in town, so, maybe not that weird? Well, actually maybe a little, yeah. But still. Not surprising, but still weird."

"What's your major? You know, other than crushing my hopes and dreams or making banana bread that you don't share, thus crushing my hopes and dreams again."

"Bio."

"Aw, boo. I was hoping you'd say chemistry. Because that's all I feel when I talk to you."

"I knew you were going to do it- I knew it, and I still let it happen. I'm honestly more disappointed in myself at this point. Anyway, what's yours?"

"The very sexy major of civil engineering. I know. Keep your panties on. It's hard when in the presence of such sexiness, but you'll have to make do."

"Right. So, bridges?"

"It's so much more that bridges oh my God."

"I wonder if we've ever seen each other and just not known it, then."

"Probably not, I mean, I'm sure if you'd seen me you would have done a quintuple-take and then immediately begged for just one, sweet night with this delectable body."

"Not the right context to use the word delectable."

"You just haven't seen this body. I've got like, at least three chest hairs by now. I like to call them Steve, Bruce, and John McClane."

"You named your chest hair after the guy from Die Hard?"

"Are you saying you don't name your chest hair after the guy from Die Hard? Seriously, Mina? I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore."

"We really have been talking for a while. It's almost May. Wow. All that time. Gone. Who knows what I could've been doing by now?"

"... It really is almost May."

"I know. I can tell time and date. Hold your applause. I am the total package."

"Yeah, um, I have to go. I'll talk to you later."

"Oh. Okay. Talk to you later, Parker."

***

on a scale of 1-10 how much you want them to just meet already