09 Vehemence

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

I will plant my hands in the garden
I will grow I know I know I know.

Forough Farrokhzad

Her heels click loudly as she walks into the cafeteria of the hospital and away from the the stench of blood and antiseptics in the wards and operation theaters. She feels every bone in her body tired and complaining. She feels ready to crash and sleep a whole day without interruption. But duty is still calling.

"I'm telling you, mama, it's very difficult to manage without servants here," she whines to her mother over the phone, balancing it between her shoulder and ear as she takes money out of her bag and places it on the counter with her order. "Coffee, strong. Little sugar and milk. And a sandwich."

"Why don't you hire someone?" Zuleikha asks her.

She walks towards an empty table and sits down, sighing exasperatedly. "Because I still haven't gotten my first paycheck. And I didn't know your son was living a low-life. Why did no one tell me Zoraiz was wasting his life here?"

"What could you've done when we couldn't do anything?"

"I wouldn't have come to live here with him in the first place. His apartment is the size of a shoebox."

"I'll ask your baba to talk to him about it."

"Don't." Banafsha rubs the skin between her eyebrows. "I've talked to Zoraiz and he wouldn't listen to me accepting help from anyone." She decides not to convey her brother's exact reasons so as not to stir riot that could make things difficult for her instead.

"I'll send you money," Zuleikha suggests. "Just hire a maid to do your chores, darling."

"I think first I'll have to convince Zoraiz for that too." She crosses her legs and leans back. "I think he has been in bad company, mama. He has totally changed."

"What kind of company?" Zuleikha inquires with concern.

"I don't know, but he speaks about the right and wrong as if he's some religious scholar," Banafsha updates her mother.

"Really?" Zuleikha asks, sounding shocked. "I think I should talk to him myself."

"You should. He quit university to snap around photos and decided to cut off himself from our family's sustenance. Whatever is up with him is worrisome."

"And now you're stressing me."

"I'm sorry, but I was just letting you know." A server gets her her coffee and sandwich and she thanks him. "Anyways, give love to Abeer and Wali for me. I'll hang up now."

"Okay, but your sister is here. Wouldn't you talk to her? Everyone has been asking about you, shahzadgy zama (my princess)."

She groans to herself. The thought of chatting with Parisha makes the veins in her throb. She doesn't want to get a headache and decides to refuse. "Another time, mama. Give my greetings to everyone."

They says their goodbyes and Banafsha cuts the line, only for her phone to ring again. She reads the caller's ID before answering.

"Zoraiz, thank you for calling," she says sarcastically. "Do you know the piled up clothes in your laundry basket had me going nauseated with their stink? We need to hire a maid. I've already talked to mama and--"

"Banafsha, listen to me," he interrupts her. "I'm at the hospital right now."

She jerks up as if electrocuted, suddenly alerted. "Which hospital?"

"The one you work at."

"Why? Are you okay?" she asks apprehensively.

"Yes, I'm fine."

She releases her breath as her body relaxes in relief. "You gave me a scare."

"I'm here with my professor," he begins. "His daughter suddenly passed out at the park and she's brought here to the emergency. I came with them."

She lifts the coffee cup to her lips, unsure of why Zoraiz is telling her this. "Okay?"

"Where are you?"

"In the cafeteria."

"I want you to come examine the kid. See what's wrong with her."

"I'm a cardiac surgeon, Zoraiz, not a pediatrician," she replies dismissively, drinking her coffee.

"Yeah but they're talking about something being wrong with her heart," he utters with urgency. "Can you please just come and take a look?"

"And what can I do?" she asks wearily. "Aren't there physicians there checking her already?"

"Banafsha, please. If you could be with us, it could at least put our minds at ease. They're all speaking in technical terms and I don't understand what's going on. I just need you to see and tell us what's up with kid," Zoraiz requests desperately.

"Look, the doctors will let them know what's wrong with her once they reach a diagnosis. You gotta wait for the results to come and not drive yourself crazy about it. There's probably nothing you can do right now."

"Okay." She hears resignation in his voice. "But can you at least be with them, sis? If they need something. I would've stayed but I've got work to do, and I don't want them to be alone."

She rolls her eyes in annoyance. "I'm on a break, and I'm certainly not being paid for overtime."

He lets out a short, humorless laugh. "Are you serious?"

"What?"

His tone takes an edge as he speaks harshly now, "If it's about money then I'll pay you to be so nice as to spend a while with them."

"I don't think you can afford me." She places down the cup on the table and studies her nail polish. "And you don't have to bring up money to shove in my face every time. Unlike you, some people want to live a quality life and that has requirements."

There's silence on the other end and she frowns.

"Are you still there?"

"I just can't believe you, Afsha." Zoraiz scoffs. "I should never have asked for your help. My bad for expecting so much of you. Excuse my mistake, won't happen again."

She pinches her forehead in frustration and grinds her teeth, feeling his words bite her. "Fine, Zoraiz, I'll just come to see your guests. Don't take it upon your heart now. Tell me their names and--"

But he cuts the line without saying anything more. Banafsha stares at the blackened screen, stunned, before exhaling heavily. She chews the inside of her lip uneasily, replaying her conversation with Zoraiz in her head. Did she go too far? She shouldn't have brought his low economic status and poor lifestyle in between, she thinks. After all, she had already gathered he was sensitive about the subject. She must have bruised his ego.

Standing up, she leaves her lunch, her appetite gone, and makes her way to the ER department, hoping to find her brother's 'so honored' professor and his daughter with a heart problem.

By the time her shift is over, the night has already fallen and it's dark outside. All her systems are drained and she barely manages to keep her body working.

The elevator opens at the ground floor and she walks out of it into the hospital lobby, checking out at the counter before leaving the building. After searching in ER and unable to find the patient Zoraiz had asked her to look for, she thankfully doesn't have a reason to stay back any longer than necessary.

"Gotta get myself a car soon," she grumbles as the night air chills her, not fancying moving around in a cab.

A dog barks in the distance and she jumps, placing a hand over her heart, glaring in the direction before moving along her way.

A figure sitting on the bench by the back of the hospital building catches her attention. She would've ignored him and kept walking but he looks familiar to her; she stops.

Banafsha squint her eyes to take a better look at him. He's busy staring at something in his hands, so much so that even when she moves near him, he doesn't notice her, appearing lost and absent. And only when she is closer to him is when she recognizes him: the man from the airport, holding the same picture in his hands she had stepped on back that day she had met him.

Mikael. She recalls his name. Such a coincidence. She never thought of running again into him, let alone at the hospital.

She finds him mumbling to himself, seemingly speaking to the photograph, and unintentionally ends up hearing him talk as she watches him curiously.

"Sanam (beloved)." He lovingly strokes the face of the woman in the photo. "Jaan ve zama (you were my life). How long do I keep going without you?"

She feels uneasy, as if she is intruding into an important moment of someone's life. Gathering that the man probably wants to be alone, she lets him be and quietly takes a step back. But the dog barks again and this time a frightened yelp escapes her mouth. His head snaps up towards her and her eyes widen, feeling embarrassed at being caught.

They stare at each other a long minute, both still and transfixed, before she decides to tear the awkward silence and speaks up, "Hey." She offers him a small smile. "Remember me?"

He takes a moment to compose himself, then nods, smiling back feebly. "How can I forget you, doctor?"

"Right." She smacks her lips. "I stepped on your photograph that day," she gestures towards it in his hands, "and it looks important to you. I'm sorry, again."

He shakes his head, as if trying to get rid of the memory. "All is forgiven."

"So," she steps forward, "what are you doing here? I know I said we might be running into each other again, but I didn't expect it to be here like this."

He chuckles weakly. "Seems like you were right, doctor. Although I wish the circumstances were different."

He scoots away on the bench to create space for her. She hesitates, unsure of if to sit with him or just leave. Then deciding not to be rude, she sits down at the edge of the bench, keeping as much distance between them as possible.

"Is it your wife at the hospital?" she asks him, fleetingly glancing at his wedding ring and the photograph once more.

"No." He pockets the picture and looks at her. "My daughter."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What happened?"

"She passed out cycling at the park earlier today." He rubs his palms together anxiously. "They still haven't told me what's wrong with her, just that it's probably her heart."

A light bulb in her head blinks and she raises both eyebrows. What he is telling her is what Zoraiz told her too. Banafsha perks up.

"I hope she's stable now though?"

"Yeah, thankfully," he replies.

"Do you, by any chance, know someone by the name Zoraiz Humayun?" she asks him directly.

Mikael tilts his head and then nods without saying a word.

"And I suppose you're his professor?"

He nods again.

"He told me about you earlier on the call but didn't give me your complete information," Banafsha tells him. "We had many cases at the ER today and I couldn't find you. Besides, I had a busy day," she excuses in case Zoraiz had already mentioned her to him and she failed to show up.

"It's okay." He lets it slip by with a smile. "He stayed with me himself. Left only a while back."

"Oh." She fumbles with the buttons on her coat. "I'm his sister, by the way."

Mikael gives her a long stare. "It's a surprising coincidence that you're both siblings."

"And why is that?"

"You're both very different," he states frankly.

"Well, I don't think you know me at all besides my name, but I'd like to know what makes you say so?"

He shrugs and looks away towards the sky. "I'm only assuming."

"A lot of times assumptions can turn out to be false," she replies smoothly and his lips twitch upwards at her response, but his eyes remain glued to the sky.

"True, indeed."

She regards him with interest, tracing his face with her gaze as it sweeps across it, from his chin to the angel of his jaw and then up to the arch of his cheekbone. He's a fine man with a dimple who smiles too often, and who certainly has attractive eyes. Just at the thought, he turns to look back at her and their gazes collide.

The logical part of her brain warns her to look away, get up and leave. But something in those eyes keeps her paralyzed and unmoving. They're deep blue, like an endless ocean, appearing darker in the night than how they were daylight blue the last time she had seen them. The way he's looking at her makes the air between them vibrate with disquiet, as if he knows her more than she's aware of. Banafsha swallows uneasily.

"Something is the matter, doctor?"

She blinks, coming out of her reverie at his question, but doesn't break eye contact. "No." She clears her throat. "I was only wondering if I can be of any help, you can ask me."

"I appreciate it." He gives her a small smile. "But I think they'll be discharging us tomorrow, hopefully."

"Well, I think I'll see you tomorrow then, if you don't already leave before my shift starts." She fishes for her card in her coat pocket and hands it to him. "Feel free to call me if you need me."

He takes it from her, reading it. "Thank you."

She stands up to leave. Their eyes meet again when he looks up at her.

Blue eyes are cold.

The words she had said to Abeer replay in her head and she begins reconsidering them. His eyes aren't cold. In fact, the amount of emotions she's seeing in them make them appear warmer than they should be. Something about this man intrigues her, in a way where there's a secret one is invested in to unveil, and it disturbs her. He makes her feel as if he is hiding something, and it only makes her curious to unravel his mystery. Maybe there's more to him which she must find.

"It's getting late," she says. "I should get going."

"Will you be okay on your own?" he asks, standing up too, his tone tinged with solicitude she cannot shun. "I mean, you're new here, so?"

"Will you offer to drive me again?" she bugs him.

"Well, I, ehm..." he coughs and she notices his earlobes shade red. Banafsha laughs softly.

"I'm kidding you. I'll be fine on my own. Thank you for your consideration though." She adjusts her bag strap over her shoulder and grins at him. "You're a shy guy, aren't you?"

"I..." He glances away before looking back at her coyly. "Is that a bad thing, doctor?"

She hasn't really been fond of shy men. But then that could be because she hasn't been around many. The men in her family have always been straightforward and dominating, never meek or compromising. Such vehemence can be dangerous. But this man seems opposite of what she has known all her life-- serene and modest. Yet she doesn't really find him bland.

"No." Banafsha smiles at him. "Maybe being shy isn't actually a bad thing, Mikael."

So, here it goes. Your thoughts?

Cardiac surgery was the first live surgery I saw in my medical life, and it was a wonderful experience. Tell me about any of your most exciting experiences?

And well, shy guys or the outspoken ones, what's your pick? Oops, I'm just curious.

Share your love, don't forget to vote if you're enjoying the story, and drop your views in the comments.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net