chapter 4: don't look back

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"What do you mean 'it's fine'?," you sob, gripping the side of her hospital bed. You want to give your best friend a hug, but you can't risk hurting her more. Yuna's right leg is pinned up into an apparatus, the intricate metal carefully holding together the broken bones. Her usual perfect skin is marred by scratches of red and patches of blue.

    "I mean what I said". Even with a sore voice and her current situation, Yuna manages to speak with dignity.

    "And Ms. Kim is right," the doctor agrees, jotting down a prescription on her clipboard, "the surgeries went well and she is in stable condition. The good news is that with proper rest and physical therapy, she will be able to walk again. Now, it's my duty to be honest with you. You said you're a figure skater?".

    "Yes". Yuna uncurls her fingers, inviting you to hold her hand. You accept, bracing the two of you for inevitable bad news. Ten sits at the other side of the bed pressing her other hand to his lips.

    "While we cannot rule out the possibility, the likelihood of you being able to skate again is very low. Especially for the next few years".

    Yuna's tough facade starts to crumble at the shocking reality and her lips tremble as she chokes back tears. You press your forehead to her hand. You hide your own tears from her.

    "God damn it!". Ten yells, getting up and kicking away the stool he was sitting on. The loud bang was followed by the sound of quiet weeping. "I shouldn't have let you out of my sight. I shouldn't have told you to go to the car first. None of this should've happened, god damn it". The older boy cries into his palms as he places the blame on himself.

    "Please settle down and refrain from disturbing the patient," the doctor warns, "but we would like to talk to you about the details of the accident, Ms. Kim, now that you're awake and stable".

    Yuna nods, a few tears escaping and rolling down her scraped-up cheeks.

    "Your right leg is broken in three places upon impact with the vehicle: two in the femur and one major area in the tibia. You then sustained minor external injury as you fell to the pavement, scraping your arms and face. We will run additional tests later on to determine if you also have a concussion. If you can remember any details of how this accident happened, please describe them to me and we can notify the police to help find the suspect", the doctor continues.

    "I," Yuna clears her throat, "I was at a party last night and I had a bit to drink. We stayed pretty late and Ten is close with the host, so we just decided to sleep over. Then this morning, I woke up early and I wanted to go on a drive to clear my head. Ten had to get something so I left the house first. I- I checked both ways before I crossed the street to his car, but before I knew it... it came out of nowhere and I was on the ground. I don't... I can't remember anything about it. The next thing I remember was being in the ambulance with Ten".

    "I heard the whole thing happen," Ten adds softly, "I was inside the house at the time and I heard the screeching tires and Yuna screamed. By the time I ran outside, the car was gone and Yuna was bleeding on the ground". He closes his eyes and clenches his fist. "All I could do was call an ambulance. I- I didn't see the car or the bastard driving it. All I could do was sit with her in the street while we waited. She wasn't waking up and all I could do was sit with her. I couldn't even move her because I was afraid it would make it worse and she was bleeding everywhere. All I could do was sit there".

    Tears stream down your face as you listen to Ten break down. The normally bright and optimistic man now has his face in his hands, hiccuping uncontrollably at the thought of how close he came to losing the love of his life.

    "Hey," Yuna groans, struggling to keep her own voice steady, "baby, I'm okay. When we met, you were hurt and struggling, but you got through it because we were together. We're still together and we can get through this too". She touched her fingers through his hair gently.

    "Thank you for your cooperation, Ms. Kim, and both of your friends. The police are currently asking for witnesses for your hit-and-run case and will update you with any findings. These are your prescriptions", the doctor slides the piece of paper across the counter, "the nurse will come find you later to talk about your treatment. For now, I'll leave you all alone".

    The room falls silent, only interrupted by the occasional sniffle as the doctor shuts the door behind her.

    "Hey y/n?". Yuna turns her head gingerly to you.

    "Yeah?"

    "I'm sorry I can't do the competition with you now. I promised I would but..."

    "Don't even... how could you worry about that right now?", you sob, "don't you worry about it, Yuna, the competition doesn't matter at all. I'm just glad you're okay right now. You should focus on getting better, not worry about me of all things".

    "Y/n is right," Ten agrees, "you were there for me when I got hurt. And when I thought there was no way out, you held my hand and pulled me up from the darkness. Doctor says you have a good chance of walking, so let's get you there first. Then we'll work on beating the odds and getting you back on the ice again".

    "You guys..." Yuna smiles slightly, careful not to strain her bruised jaw.

    "I'll come visit you as much as I can," you promise, "I can bring my sleeping bag, clothes, and a jar of peanut butter. We can just be roommates here instead. There's free AC and disney band aids too, it'll be great". Your attempt to lighten the mood is well received as the couple chuckles together.

    "By the way, I called your parents while you were in surgery and they're on their way over now. They should actually be here soon," Ten notes.

    "I'll leave you guys then," you offers. There is a two visitor limit and you don't want to intrude on Ten and Yuna's chance to have some private time before her parents bombard her with concern. Not to mention Mark has been sitting in the waiting room for a few hours now and you want to be respectful of his time too.

    Offering your last words of support to Yuna, you shut the door quietly behind you. Dabbing at your watery eyes with the edge of your sleeve, you attempt to fix your run-off makeup using your phone camera. Everything feels kind of numb. The events of the last 24 hours were surreal and staying up the whole night with Mark certainly did not help as the tiredness was catching up to you. Concern, upset, worry, and frustration formed a thick cloud in your thoughts. Your brain is like a jammed printer and the thoughts were not processing. You are in shock to say the least.

    You shuffle your way down the hall to the waiting area and look for Mark's familiar blonde hair. You spot him fast asleep in his seat, arms crossed over his chest as he leans his head back against the wall. His mouth is slightly agape, forming a soft 'o' as he breathes steadily in and out. Seeing him sleep so peacefully makes you relax a little.

    At least there is something good about today.

    "Hey," you whisper, shaking him gently. His eyes blink open slowly, wincing at the bright hospital lights.

    "Hey," he croaks, rubbing his eyes as he sits up straight. "How's Yuna? Did you get to see her?".

    "She's...," you pause, "she's okay. She said she was okay when I saw her just now and the doctor said she's stable but...," your voice trails off.

    "But what?," Mark askes gently, placing a comforting hand on your back. You look around to make sure there was nobody around who could overhear. A few people sat around the waiting room a ways away, texting on their phones or flipping through the free health magazines. The receptionist's monotonous voice drones on as she answers a phone call.

    "The doctor says that Yuna might not be able to skate again," you murmur. Even though the doctor made it clear before, saying the words out loud felt extremely surreal. You imagine if it were you lying on the hospital bed hearing this news. To not be able to skate again... it's too awful to comprehend. Tears roll down your cheeks before you can help it, dangling from the point of your chin before falling onto your green volunteer shirt.

    Mark ponders about what he can say in reply to the devastating news, but decides it is best to not say anything at all. Pulling you in for a hug, you cry silently into the crook of his neck. You wrap your arms around his torso and hold on for dear life.


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