15: Renzo- Deserving Her

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sometimes all it takes is a heart to heart

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THIS WAS BLISS.

The sound of our breaths against the drizzling rain, the feel of her hand touching mine, and her piercing stare keeping me in place.

It was all bliss. There was really no way to describe it.

"I-" My mouth opens, but is immediately covered by hers.

The kiss was powerful enough for me to stumble and grip Mila as if she were my life force. It was just us two people kissing under the rain, with no idea what the future held for them.

"I think I'm falling for you," Mila whispered when she broke our kiss. Her small pants and contrasted from the loud thumping of her heart.

I felt my body still. My rigidness against her softness sparked a flash of concern in Mila's eyes. Even though we were soaked from standing in the rain for what seems like forever, I couldn't feel a single drop of water on my skin. Rather, I was concentrated on the small droplet flowing down her face. I reach out to wipe it away when I feel her flinch.

"Enzo," she looks into my eyes, holding my stare. "Do you... Do you not feel the same?"

"I don't know," I answer her, knowing I shattered whatever progress I had was blown to pieces. I cup her face and tilt her head upwards. "I'm not good for you."

Mila suddenly scoffs; her expression morphs into anger from sadness. "That's complete bullshit. If you were fucking around with my feelings, why go this far?" She pushes me away, sending me crashing into a wall.

"Why Enzo?" She shouted, punching my chest, constant blows hitting me as hard as the rain, which had gotten worse as Mila screamed and thrashed around as I tried to grab ahold of her.

"Calm down," I beg her, my aching as I look at her. "Please, Mila."

"I cried twice in front of you," her voice sounded accusing. "I barely cry in front of people even once, and here you are seeing me like this twice in a matter of two hours." She shook her head and her head dropped in defeat. "I'm absolutely fucking crazy. How much more of a crazy bitch can I get?"

She pulls away again and starts to walk away.

"Mila!" I run after her. "Where are you going?"

"Away from you," she retorts. "I need to be alone after that—whatever just happened now. Please forget about what I said earlier."

"I won't!" I see her stop in her tracks, I take the opportunity and grab her hand, turning her to face me. "I will never forget what happened tonight."

"I don't care," she mutters angrily, trying to break out of my hold on her wrist. "Let go, Enzo."

"Never," I whisper, pulling her closer to me. "There are some things you don't know about me that make me ashamed of myself. I promise you, the only reason I didn't say it back is that I know I don't deserve you. I'm not just Enzo the fine arts major, I'm Enzo the fuck up, I'm Enzo the guy who has anger issues, I'm Enzo... the son of a mother who was abandoned. And I'm Enzo, the boy who's liked the same girl since freshman year but never talked to her out of fear of rejection."

There was a heavy silence that hung in the air. Mila sighed, "I'm Mila the perfectionist, I'm Mila the ex-addict, I'm Mila the daughter of a mother who cares about herself more than her own child. And I'm Mila, the girl who suffers from panic attacks and likes a boy who more than enough deserves her."

I'm stunned. The shock apparent from my face, Mila lets out a sad chuckle.

"I didn't know Mila, I'm so sorry." I became unsure of what to do.

Mila noticed this and came forward, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry too."

"I should've talked about this sooner," I said, reveling in the feeling of her comforting me.

"I know eventually, in the future, you'll tell me everything." She said into the crevice where my shoulder meets my neck.

"Likewise, Mila." I kiss the top of her head, not caring that we were both soaked.

We stayed like this for a while, the feeling of bliss returning from earlier with a burst of pure happiness.

"We should probably get home, I'm starting to get cold." She laughed, letting go of my neck. "But just so you know, I'm still taking you with me to the Hamptons."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I grin, trying to lighten the mood.

With that, we interlaced our fingers and walked down a road where endless possibilities and our futures lie. All in due time I suppose.

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