"Hand over the goddamn ketchup, Marcus," Captain John snapped.

I jumped, glancing at his seemingly irritated face. What the hell was his problem? I handed over the ketchup, slowly and with a wary expression. Who knew when this lunatic would snap again.

"You can't ignore me for five minutes and then look at me like I'm nuts," He grumbled as he squirted the ketchup onto his burger, shoving the bun closed with force. He took a large bite of the burger, chewing loudly, "What's on your mind anyway? You've been out of it all day."

I took a sip of my coke, shrugging, "Nothing new."

He grunted with a scoff, "Sure doesn't seem like it."

If I was being honest, I was feeling like shit. I couldn't stop thinking of Mabel living out her goddamned fairy tale ending. I was so happy that she was happy. Anyone who could see her smile would know it was worth it. But I was having trouble coming to terms with these feelings. Maybe it was because I was destined to live the rest of my life hopelessly alone.

What the hell was I saying?

It wasn't like I could have a relationship with her or anyone else after everything I'd been through. I wasn't meant to be in a relationship. I wasn't made for them. I was better off alone. People cheated and betrayed. People let you down. People were selfish.

Mabel isn't.

I shook my head. I needed to get laid. It had been too long. And what was I holding off for anyway? For a girl who was out of my league and with another guy. That wasn't me anymore. I'm not going to act like a lovesick puppy over a chick. I needed to focus on me again. That's what I was best at and if I didn't do that, no one else would.

Mabel would.

My chair scuffed against the floor loudly as I shoved it back, getting up from the table. Captain John gave me a look, "What the hell, Marcus."

I ignored him and headed to my bunk, gathering my things into my duffel bag at the end of my shift. My fingers hesitated on my phone as I pulled it out. Mabel's name came up but I scrolled past it to Joey's.

"Marcus!" Joey greeted enthusiastically.

"Hey," I replied, zipping up my bag. "Want to go out tonight?"

"Hell yeah, man. Where've you been? I'm sick of goddamn poker. I've been waiting for months."

I didn't know why I hadn't gone out with Joey. It was so outside of the normal that the last two years of my life had been. I kind of liked this new change even though I didn't want to admit it to myself.

"I'm just headed home and I'll shower and meet you at the pub?" I asked as I hoisted my bag on my shoulder, atop my blue fire station t-shirt.

"Sounds good," Joey responded hanging up.

I sighed, pausing for a moment at the doorway before making my way out.

As I stepped into my apartment, I was greeted with the bareboned walls that I had grown so used to. No pictures. No rug. Nothing that would remind me of the home that Vanessa and I had planned out when we were in high school. And that used to be enough.

But lately this life that I was leading had felt more lonely and meaningless.

I pulled out my phone and texted Mabel that I was home from my overnight shift and that she could drop off Marco. She texted back that she'd be over in ten.

I showered quickly knowing that Joey took timing seriously when it came to our nights out and that Mabel was coming over. Joey wouldn't stop calling me until I showed up.

Moments later I heard a knock on the door. As I walked towards the door, I felt butterflies fill my stomach as I heard her sweet voice, "Are you ready to see your daddy?" Mabel was always sweet tempered. It was such a change from Vanessa. Mabel was steady. Dependable.

I opened the door, an unintentional smile pulling across my lips. "Hey, Maybie."

"Hi," She grinned, a blush gracing her cheeks. I loved that blush.

She bent down fluffing up Marco's fur as he continued to sit beside her loyally and made no move to enter my apartment. Traitor.

"Go on, baby!" She murmured attempting to move the large number of rolls that sat on his body. He didn't move. Ungrateful dog.

"You look... nice," I stated taking in her black dress. Her hair was gracefully curled and flowed down her shoulders. I missed her pigtails and t-shirts. She looked formal and seriously un-Mabel like.

"Thanks," She blushed again, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I'm going out for dinner with Jackson tonight."

I raised an eyebrow, "Exciting."

"I know!" She grinned and my heart dropped. "I can't wait."

I paused for a moment as I looked at her freckled face, now covered in light makeup. "What is it about him?"

Mabel glanced at me looking confused. "I honestly don't know," She admitted genuinely. "He's someone that I've spent a lot of time thinking about. I like hanging out with him. He's sweet. He's a good guy."

I nodded slowly, "I'm happy for you then."

"You going out tonight?" She asked eyeing my semi casual attire.

I felt a rush of embarrassment at the idea of Mabel finding out that I was looking to hook up tonight and I hated it. What the hell did it matter to her what I did with my time? Why the hell did I care? I didn't. That's right.

"Yeah, I'm just meeting Joey for drinks." That was the truth too.

She smiled at me, "That sounds fun."

I shrugged. "Well I should head out," she said successfully managing to shove an unwilling Marco through the door.

I nodded, "Be careful," I warned. As an afterthought I added, "Have fun."

She grinned at me with her ever-present smile and waved before leaving.

I glanced at Marco who was staring wistfully at the door, his head placed over his paws as he lay down. "Thankless mutt."

I waited five minutes before heading out just in case I met a certain couple in the lobby.

A short drive later, Joey was hugging me, two drinks in and already tipsy.

"Marcus! My best bud," he swung an arm over my shoulder. "Shh, don't tell Matt that. It's a secret."

I laughed, patting him on the back awkwardly. "Your secret's safe with me."

"Come on, let's drink and be merry," He cheered, tipping back his half empty glass. "I already ordered for you!"

I glanced at the glass of dark liquid that sat at our table and relished in the burn it gave me as it went down. Joey scanned the crowd, "It's quite a crowd tonight."

I nodded, not really paying much attention.

"Wanna get a drink, handsome?" A random tipsy girl smiled at Joey and he winked at me before jumping out of the booth and making his way to the bar.

So there I sat. Alone. At a pub. How pathetic.

"You seem down." I looked up to see a brunette staring back at me. She had a tight red dress on and in any other circumstance, I'd find her quite cute.

I shrugged, taking a sip of my drink. "Not really." Why did everyone keep saying that today? Bad day, I conceded.

"Mind if I sit?" She asked. I nodded and she sat across from me. "So, I could ask you what's wrong and hear your entire sob story, but let's me real, neither of us are interested in getting to know each other." She confessed leaning forward and playing with her straw.

"You're not wrong," I admitted. I wasn't interested in her whatsoever. But I needed to get a certain redhead out of my system and this was my go to method. Drinking and girls and a feeling of serious lack of self worth the next morning.

Talk about the walk of shame the morning after.

"So, let me grab my coat?" She asked and I nodded.

"I'm just gonna grab a drink," I let her know as I ordered an Uber before walking up to the bar.

"Marcus!" A voice called from behind the bar and I looked up to see Amy. "How's it going?"

"Oh, hey Amy. Not bad, you?" I asked as I leaned forward on my elbows.

"I'm doing good. I saw your little friend here the other day. I gotta say I was surprised to see her with someone else," Amy laughed.

"Mabel?"

"Yeah. She was with some guy," Amy stated.

"That's the guy of her dreams," I let her know.

Amy shrugged, "Maybe." She grabbed a glass and filled it half way with a liquid. Didn't matter to me what it was. "Sure didn't seem like it to me though."

She handed me the glass and I took a quick swig, "You'd be the only one."

"I don't know. He was cute and all and seemed sweet, but Mabel didn't seem comfortable. I was surprised you two weren't dating. You fit well," She grinned at me.

I choked on my drink, "Wha- what are you talking about? We're the worst match possible."

Amy just smiled, "Maybe. You never know where life takes you, Marcus. You just gotta pray that you made the best decisions you could have before you get there. Nothing worse than regret in my opinion."

I stared at her in confusion as to what the hell she was saying. Bartenders and their words of wisdom. I came to drink not to get a life lesson.

I came here to forget.

So I did what I always do to forget - find someone new for the night. Anything to move on. "Ready?" I turned to see the brunette waiting for me, her jacket on her arm.

I nodded, waving at Amy before heading out of the bar. "I'm Angela by the way," the brunette said. Not that I would care to remember.

"Marcus," I replied, waiting on the Uber I had called.

She laughed, "Not that we'll remember that by tomorrow."

We arrived at my apartment and she held my hand as I unlocked my door, tugging me inside, discarding my jacket, and kissing me all within thirty seconds.

I tried closing my eyes and getting into it but as my gaze travelled to my kitchen, I noticed a donut mug drying in the dish rack and my blood ran cold.

What was I doing? I didn't want to be this person. This person who turned to anyone to distract him for a couple hours. This isn't who I wanted distracting me for a couple hours.

This isn't what I wanted with my life. I was finally ready to admit that I wanted more and maybe I even deserved it a little bit.

I stepped back from Angela abruptly. "I'm sorry, you need to leave." I ran a hand through my hair, wanting this woman out of my house more than I wanted a shower to get rid of her perfume. That was a lot currently.

"What?" She scoffed.

I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a fifty, holding it out for her. "Take this and get a cab. I can't do this."

She looked at me and then the money before snatching it from my hand and storming out, muttering something about "men these days".

I walked into my bedroom and collapsed onto my bed but my semi open nightstand drawer caught my attention. I sat up and saw Mabel's curly scrawl on a letter: Open when you've had a bad day.

Well it wasn't looking like a great one, that was for sure. I ripped it open.

Marcus,
The good news: a bad day only lasts 24 hours.

The bad news: it's a really shit day that makes all the good days seem non-existent.

The super good news: you just need to run out the clock. So what makes you happy, Marcus? I'd give you ideas of what makes me happy but I think you'd laugh at me.

So, (against my better judgment) if you need a little laugh at my expense, I'd happily give it to you if it makes your day a little brighter.

Things that make me happy:
- Marco
- Drinking from my donut mug
- Singing very loudly and very off tune with lots of practice dance moves (Oh lord, I'm just imagining you being able to hear me through our paper thin walls)
- Seeing my friends
- Seeing you everyday (If you tell anyone this, I'll refute it profusely).

I think there's always a bright side to every situation if you only look hard enough to find it.

What made me happy? How long had it been since I thought about what actually made me happy? How long had it been since someone had asked?

I needed to find her. I needed to tell her everything. I couldn't keep living like this as though I wasn't affected by her. As though I wasn't dying to really know her. As though I didn't have feelings for my neighbour.