Part 44- Say it Right

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After a long, restless night for Madelyn, Wilson, and House, the three of them returned to work the next morning determined to put an end to their problems. For Madelyn, this meant getting her second ultrasound before making a final decision about her baby. For Wilson, this meant deciding whether or not to put himself out on the line for Madelyn one last time. And finally, for House, this meant becoming more vulnerable than he'd ever been before.

The time was 10a, and Madelyn had just entered the examination room for her appointment with Dr. Sartori, her OBGYN. Nervously, she positioned herself on the exam chair, and lifted her blouse for the doctor. 

"This is your second ultrasound correct?" Dr. Sartori asked her. 

"Yes, I had one about three weeks ago. Am I late on scheduling the second one?"

"Maybe just a tad, but I'm not concerned." Dr. Sartori assured her with a comforting smile. 

The doctor squirted the gel onto Madelyn's stomach, which she still couldn't get used to as it was awfully cold. Madelyn squirmed a little, 

"Sorry, I know it can be uncomfortable." 

"It's okay." 

The doctor spread the gel with the transducer and the two women waited patiently for the image to project onto the monitor. As the image began to pixelate, the door busted open:

"House?" Madelyn's voice sunk. She was startled to say the least, and his presence was completely unexpected. 

"House get out of here, this is a private ultrasound." Dr. Sartori said clenching her jaw, annoyed. 

"Private? Haven't heard of it." House replied playing coy.

"House, what are you doing here?" Madelyn spoke up, "You look terrible." Madelyn, of course, was referring to his bloodshot eyes and his still semi-perspired skin. She hadn't ever seen him during a withdrawal period. "Oh my god, did you stop taking your Vicodin?"

"For about 18 hours, yeah. But I'm back on, good as new."  House said popping a couple pills into his mouth, nonchalantly. 

"Alright," Dr. Satori interjected, "look here, and you can see the baby. I'm sure it looks bigger than last time, but it's still about the size of a peppercorn." 

House looked at Madelyn while she looked at the monitor. 

"Can I hear the heartbeat?" she asked, her voice a little shaky. 

The doctor fidgeted a little with the machine, and was able to produce the heartbeat so she could hear, 

"That's the heartbeat!" Dr. Sartori told her, cheerfully. "Again, House, what are you doing here?" 

"Well, I thought I'd stay. Considering I did that." He said pointing to the monitor with his cane. 

The doctor looked confused, and looked back at Madelyn who nodded awkwardly.

"I'll give you two a moment." She said as she exited the room. 

House sauntered towards the exam chair where Madelyn was, her face covered by her hands. She was crying. He pulled up a chair from the room and sat beside her in silence, and just watched her stare at the screen. Neither one of them was exactly sure how to break the silence. 

"Pretty cool... right?" House asked Madelyn hesitantly. He was referring to the heartbeat. 

"Very..." she exhaled, rubbing her nose. "What are you doing here?"

"Foreman told me where you were." 

"I thought you needed some space."

"I did... I do. I just wanted to see it for myself." House confessed, melancholy in his tone. 

Madelyn nodded, and grabbed his hand, "I really am sorry."

"For what? Not telling me, or for wanting to abort it?" 

"Just for not showing that I trusted you, when I do. And for not showing you that I love you when I do. So much." 

House kinda smirked, but didn't respond much other than to say, "Everybody lies." 

"Yeah, I know. But I'm not lying about loving you." Madelyn insisted. House stood up, grabbed a clean towel, and gently wiped off the gel from Madelyn's stomach. Once it was all off, his fingers lingered on her bare, silky skin. "Greg, I-"

"I just wanted to stop by." he interrupted her, either not wanting to hear what he feared would come next, or unwilling to go against what he believed was his better judgment, and hope she would jump into his arms like she used to. "Meet me in the courtyard, in around half an hour? We need to talk." His tone was monotonic, but heavy with the indication of a huge let-down. Was he was going to break up with her? 

"This is it." , Madelyn thought to herself. 

"About what?" She blurted, her anxiety getting the best of her.

House pursed his lips together, squinted his eyes and sighed, "Us.", then left the room. 

Not a minute after House left, Madelyn was on her way back to his office where the team was working for the duration of the morning. It was, until she ran into Cuddy, that Madelyn had every doubt in her mind that House was willing to stay with her. 

"Hi, Dr. Cuddy." 

"Hi Madelyn, good morning." Cuddy feigned a smile, knowing what she must be going through. "How are you doing?"

"I've been better.." Madelyn responded bashfully. She knew Cuddy must know something. "I assume you heard what happened... with House." Madelyn searched Cuddy's face for the kindness she'd always shown her. And there it was: 

"Yes. House sort of confided in me. Well, really I forced him to." Cuddy confessed honestly. Madelyn nodded with her eyes looking to the floor. "I was worried about him."

"I'm worried about him too," Madelyn agreed, "I think I really hurt him." 

Cuddy put her arm around Madelyn's shoulder and guided her towards her office, 

"Oh, sweetheart. House isn't a stranger to secrets or lies. With any relationship, things get complicated and sometimes truths are tested. He knows that. He's experienced it, god knows we had our own problems when we were together." Cuddy expressed to Madelyn. The two women stood together, looking at each other with an insurmountable respect for one another. "I believe your relationship with him has a strong foundation. One lie or one secret isn't going to crush it." 

Madelyn moved in to hug her–the woman that felt more like a mother than her own. 

"I hope you're right. You're too kind to me." 

"You're not kind enough to yourself." Cuddy beamed, "you messed up. So have I, and so has he. Give yourself some grace. It'll work out the way it's meant to, ok?" 

Madelyn hung onto Cuddy's words as the prepared herself to talk with House. It was now about fifteen minutes later when she looked at her phone as she approached one of the hospital exit doors.

Meanwhile, House and Wilson sat together on a bench in the courtyard. Wilson had been in the middle of taking a call outside and conveniently ran into him while he was waiting for Madelyn.

"How are you handling all this?" Wilson asked House who had been quieter than usual this morning. 

"I don't know." House breathed out throwing little twigs into the grass that he'd round up from beside the bench. 

As he fidgeted in place, Wilson put a hand on his friend's shoulder in an attempt to offer consolation:

"It'll work out somehow. You know it always does." 

"I've barely processed it. It's just... completely the opposite of where I thought things were headed with us."

"Yeah, I know." Wilson sighed, "So what are you gonna do about it?"

House turned his body to face Wilson and making direct eye contact to tell him, "I wish I knew." He continued throwing the twigs, and tapping his foot restlessly against the ground, "But, I do know where I want things to go from here on out." 

"Oh? What's that?" Wilson grew curious. 

House continued looking at his friend hoping he would understand what he was about to tell him. 

About five minutes later, Madelyn trailed through the courtyard taking in all the springtime smells and colors. The sunshine felt angelic on her skin, warming her up out of an icy slumber of worry. Yes, she was still nervous, but something in the wind was whispering to her that Cuddy was right and that things would work themselves out. 

Her hot pink, ruffled mini dress twirled with the noon-rising zephyrs, and she began to see the unfathomably handsome Gregory House come into view. Her eyes smiled when she saw how beautiful he looked sitting underneath the serene willow tree that trademarked the Princeton-Plainsboro courtyard. Wilson was also coming into view, as if he were walking from the same direction that House was in:

"Hey Madelyn." Wilson greeted, the sunshine pouring down in his eyes. He looked invigorated and much more energized than she did. 

"Hey," Madelyn breathed out, "Thank you again for listening to me last night."

"Anytime." he answered kindly. There was a noticeable awkward pause in their conversation that began to seem almost palpable. 

"So," Madelyn initiated, "I don't think going away this weekend is the best idea right now. I am really grateful that you even invited me, and if it were any other time I would come, no question. But, as much as I don't want to be alone, I think it's what has to happen... at least right now. Everything going on between House and I... I-I just have to dedicate all of me to it. I hope that you understand." 

"Yeah, I do. And I agree–definitely take some time to yourself if you need it." Wilson responded calmly and rationally. This surprised Madelyn. 

Madelyn nodded sort of confused, "Did we both change our minds then?" she joked awkwardly. 

"Yeah, I guess so." he smiled back. The smile, however, didn't seem all genuine. Before she could  even consider overthinking it, Wilson added one more thing, "I think you need to talk to House."

"But you told me to give him time? I think that was good advice." Madelyn admitted. 

"Trust me. You need to talk with him." Wilson told her before hugging her goodbye. 

"You okay?" Madelyn was concerned about his demeanor. He seemed off his game. 

"I will be. And you will too. Just talk to House." 

 A moment later, Madelyn reached the bench where House sat, his cane leaning against the side of it and perfectly available spot reserved for her. She took a deep breath, and sat down wondering what kind of sentence she was going come out of this with. 

"It's 10:30." Madelyn awkwardly stated, unable to withstand the silence on House's end. House, however, didn't seem bothered. "I got the time right, didn't I?"

"Yeah." House said staring out across the courtyard. 

"So, why'd you ask me to meet you?"

"We need to talk about our relationship." House nearly whispered. Madelyn's stomach did flips when she heard those words. Nothing sounded so final. "When I came and sat out here, I thought the weather seemed too nice given the time of year, but it reminded me of something. It was sunny and windy the first day I met you." 

"Was it?" Madelyn asked in a whisper. 

House nodded, still not looking at her and his voice still monotoned,

"You looked so beautiful." House confessed, his voice growing softer. "But now, I know you. I know so much more about you than just what's on the outside." 

"Yes, you do." Madelyn hung her head, getting a sharp impression of what he was going to say next.

"I also let you get to know a lot about me, in the short time we've known each other. More than I think I've ever been comfortable enough to share with anyone. And you really stabbed me in the back. I trusted you, and you trusted me. Or so I thought. It didn't feel good to be lied to, and it definitely didn't feel good to know other people knew before I did." 

"I was going to tell you." 

"When?" 

"When I could admit it to myself first. I never would've gotten an abortion without at least telling you about it." 

House nodded his head, and moved his hand onto Madelyn's knee, gripping it like he was savoring her touch for the last time, "That's good to know, I guess." 

Madelyn hovered over herself, and rested her elbows on her thighs, with a head in her hands, "I just wanted to protect you." she implored, her voice muffled by her hands. 

"I know." House told her, rubbing her back gently, and bringing her onto his lap by her hips. 

She burrowed her face into his shoulder and her body convulsed as she tried to manage her breathing, her anxiety getting the best of her. House had one arm resting across her thighs, while the other held her upright on his lap. He then began to run his fingers through her hair consolingly, and held her as close to him as he could.

"I know." he repeated, his tone heartfelt. "Just don't do it again." 

"What?" Madelyn's voice shook, as she found his gaze looking back at her. 

"I love you too much. Don't shut me out like that. Trust me next time." He urged, caressing her face lovingly. 

"You're not breaking up with me?" 

"You lied to me. So what? I've lied to you too. I lied about your research proposal being too personal when I was actually just triggered by it. It hit too close to home. I lied about pretending I didn't have feelings for you early on, so it wouldn't jeopardize your time here. Everybody lies. I believe that you thought you were protecting me, and that you had the right intentions. Of course, I'm not breaking up with you. Every time I close my eyes, I think you won't be there when I open them. You're the best thing in my life, and what has helped heal me since you walked into my office eight months ago."

Madelyn couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her fears had been calmed all by the earnest, heartfelt words spoken by the man she loved the most.

"What about the pregnancy?" 

"I don't care if you abort it, or if you want to keep it. Whatever you choose, I'll support you. And if I'm honest, I think you getting pregnant confirmed something for me."

"What's that?" 

"Moments like that... finding out really shitty news or really uplifting news... I want to be there with you for it all. I love you, baby or not. I want to be by your side, baby or not. I want to marry you, baby or not." 

"Greg..." Madelyn gasped at the realization. "Are you serious?" 

"Even I'm not cruel enough to mess with you this way." He chuckled. "But, I'm not getting down on one knee." 

Madelyn nearly cackled, because it was so like him... and she loved that the most. 

"So," House brushed her hair out of her face, behind her ear the way she liked it, "Madelyn Vada Gilmore? Do you want to marry me too?" 

TO BE CONTINUED.........



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