Part 13- Butterfly Without Its Wings

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"Okay gang, take a seat, take a seat!" House chirped at his team before they've even had a chance to organize their materials for the day. 

Chase, Foreman, Thirteen, Taub, and Madelyn each had a look of disturbance on their faces as they saw House's cheery smile. Not only was it unusual for House to be a in good mood, but he just didn't smile. They each began wondering what was wrong with him, or what he was planning to do as a result. 

The five of them took a seat, while House stood at the whiteboard–probably one of his favorite possessions in his office. He popped off the cap to the dry-erase marker and began writing. The marker screeched on the surface that now read "Team Building". 

"Team building?" Thirteen asked underwhelmed. House feigned a facial expression of disappointment. 

"Need me to extrapolate?" House asked. Thirteen rolled her eyes and said, 

"No, no. I thought you might've been looking for one of us to explain it to you. My bad." She said through a tight-lipped smile, feeling satisfied with her joke. House, on the other hand, didn't seem satisfied just yet. 

"Okay, who wants to start?" House raised his voice and clapped his hands together in anticipation. Everyone looked at each other. 

"Ok. Well, let's start with this new case-" Taub replied awkwardly, confused as to whether or not House was serious. Just then, he was interrupted: 

"That doesn't sound like team-building to me." House said tapping his cane on the desk where his team sat. Taub looked up at his boss blankly. 

"House, we need to consult. A 12 year-old boy is suffering from eczema outbreaks on his lower body, but has no apparent desire to scratch. Could be neurological?" Taub finished his thought.

"I had the same problem when I was 12, of course, it wasn't so much eczema as it was just some inflammation as the result of some willy wonking." House confessed, eager to shut Taub up. 

Foreman shook his head at the ridiculous statement, and Chase tried to refrain from laughing. Thirteen and Madelyn looked at each other knowing they were the most mature doctors in the room, as far as sex jokes go. 

"Now, back to the task at hand." 

House had many icebreakers prepared for his team building day, and while the beginning moments of the games seemed to last forever, the team eventually began enjoying themselves. Madelyn, however, couldn't believe House actually made it happen; she thought he was just bluffing yesterday in his office. She never thought he was the type to orchestrate an exercise like this. 

By the afternoon, Madelyn learned a great deal about her coworkers than she ever imagined to. She learned that Chase and Foreman have been with House the longest, and that neither one of them originally set out to pursue medicine. Chase had actually tried his cards at priesthood, while Foreman grew up as a delinquent with slim to no chances of pursuing higher education. Thirteen had revealed that she has Huntington's disease, and that her fear of death is something she is trying to use as motivation to live better. And finally, Taub had issues with adultery that has left him questioning his own abilities as a doctor. 

"Your turn, House." Thirteen said, turning in his direction. He sat at the head of the table opposite from Madelyn, the only other person left to take part in their current ice breaker: your biggest challenge yet in the medical field. 

"I'm just the proctor," House explained, "I promise, when you are all old enough, you'll hear all about it." 

House then looked to Madelyn who took a deep breath of dread. She nervously brushed her long, glistening hair behind her eyes, and looked at House.

"Go ahead, Gilmore." He said softly. The room seemed more quiet now, but Madelyn told herself that if everyone else could do it, so could she. 

"Well, first, thank you guys for being so transparent. I respect each one of you, now not only as doctors and coworkers, but as people. I feel inspired by your stories, and now it's my turn to share something about myself."

All eyes laid on Madelyn, she knew it. But the only eyes she felt analyzing her every pore and every move was House's. Even across the table, far down from where she sat, his eyes were holographic. 

Fiddling with her thumbs, Madelyn continued:

"I also didn't originally set out for a career in medicine. When a was little, I used to write a lot. Stories, songs, poems. And they weren't anything exceptional by any means, but they were significant to me and who I was at the time. I wanted to be an artist of some kind, and share my writing with others, who maybe had similar feelings and thoughts, but didn't know how to convey them or understand them. But, it turned out that it was really me who didn't understand. My writings were the result of a child raised in a home with an opioid-addicted mother, and an enabling, ignorant father. I escaped through my writing, but rather than trying to make a career from them, I decided to get rid of them. I worried that my writing would one day be proof of my inability to face adversity directly. It took me two decades to stand up to my mother, and I didn't want my writings to be a constant reminder of a person who wasn't brave enough to apply the pen and paper to real life. In my stories, I was my mom's most precious jewel in a sea of jewels of all different sizes, colors, and stones. But she chose me. She would always choose me, over the others. But, eventually I just accepted that it would never be my reality. I always chose her, and she always chose the drugs." 

"Do you still talk to her?" Thirteen asked sympathetically. Foreman nodded. 

"No, I've separated myself from that part of my life. Eventually I decided to choose myself, so I pursed a career where I would have the chance to help people who are reliant on those who will always choose them and fight for them." 

Madelyn exhaled and sat silently for a moment before looking at House. He appeared blurry within her teary-turned eyes. House stared back at her as if her story was more for entertainment than it was for the enrichment of the group. 

She shook her head at him, wiped her eyes, and swiftly got up from her seat and rushed out of the room. 

The remaining doctors sat at the table speechless and awkwardly. Chase rested his jaw on the knuckles of his hand and said, 

"What was that?"

"She's upset! That clearly wasn't easy for her." Thirteen spat, upset with how oblivious he was. 

"Yes, of course, but why'd she run out like that?" Taub questioned no one in particular. The four team members looked to House. 

"What?" House groaned. 

"I don't know, but she was looking at you right before she left." Foreman explained, sighing. 

House twitched his lips around a bit, also wondering what made Madelyn leave so abruptly. 

"Formulate a prognosis on the new case." House ordered getting up fro the table slowly, cane in hand. He exited his office, trying to catch up to wherever Madelyn had ran off to. He turned the corner, and saw her walking towards the end of the hallway probably for the stairs. 

"Hold it. Get back here." He shouted in her direction. Madelyn heard his voice, but ignored him until he caught up to her. She felt his presence towering over her from behind. She slowly turned around and lifted her red, watery eyes to his. House visibly felt bad, whether it was his fault or not. 

"Why are you crying?" He asked, his tone still harsh. 

"Why do you think?" She screamed back. House was dumfounded, and silent. She watched him continue to watch her every move. 

"That was personal! I confided in you under the impression that it was confidential. It was simply for the purpose of research, not to be shared in depth with a bunch of strangers!" Madelyn yelled. 

"It's not simply anything!" House stated back, "Everyone shared something, why are you upset?"

"I'm upset because you basically forced me to tell them something that I'm hardly even comfortable discussing with myself! It was obvious that they all knew each other's stories. But you targeted me, why?" Madelyn demanded. 

"Any of them would kill for special attention!" House replied this time angry and losing his cool. Madelyn continued to cry, 

"It's not special attention if the person is being manipulated by it. My mother was a fucking monster! Most kids my age including my friends grew up terrified of something in their closet, meanwhile my monster was beside me all along and for twenty-six years with no separation. Do you know what it's like to look in the mirror and worry you'll become your worst nightmare?"

"Every single day." House confessed, sounding defeated. "Madelyn, I–"

"Don't say anything else to me!" She cried, "If you know what that's like, then why would you force someone who feels the same way to confess to trauma as some sort of fun ice breaker?" 

House was silent, he kept his head down, lowered towards the floor. Just as House was about to open his mouth, Wilson emerged from behind Madelyn. Their arguing must've been loud enough to draw even Wilson out of his office. 

"What's going on here?" Wilson asked, frantically. He kept still beside Madelyn who in the matter of seconds, was sobbing in Wilson's arms. He held her against him and glared at House who hadn't moved. 

"What did you do?" Wilson's voice soft, but sharp like he was on the edge of becoming enraged. 

"It's just a misunderstanding." Madelyn sniffled, trying to recollect herself. 

"Madelyn, why don't you wait in my office for a minute." She turned away from the melodramatic scene taking place in the public halls of the hospital, and held her gaze to House until she disappeared behind Wilson's door. 

"What the hell House?" 

"The team and I were playing ice breakers, and something clearly went wrong."

Wilson rested his hands on his hips and could barely look at his best friend. 

"You had to make her cry?"

"I didn't make her do anything, just share a personal story like everybody else." 

"That sounds like a good ice breaker in theory, but how can you expect her to really be on everyone else's level when they've been a team forever, and she's in her second week." Wilson asked. House paused. 

"I didn't expect anything. It was just a game, no harm no foul." 

"Clearly there was harm and  foul!" Wilson protested. House exhaled, trying his best to explain the situation from his perspective.

"I wasn't trying to trigger her, as you are so subtly implying. The other day, Madelyn and I got to talking about addiction and she talked about her wanting to propose research on the topic for NMA. She claimed to know the topic inside and out because of her addict of a mother." 

"Okay?" Wilson questioned, looking for the relevance of House's anecdote to the situation at hand.

"I wanted to know if she was serious, or if she was trying to be a fierce competitor for the gig." House finished. Wilson let out a deep breath and began pacing in a circle. 

"She's not lying, House." 

"Everybody lies."

"Not about this!" Wilson argued, defending Madelyn. It was at this exact moment, that House knew for a fact, that something was or had definitely happened between his best friend and his newest doctor. 

"She's not some butterfly without its wings, Wilson!" House interjected through clenched teeth. "Stop treating her like one. She was selected for my team for a reason." 

Before Wilson could respond to House, Madelyn stepped out from Wilson's office, a lot more calm than before she had gone in. Her eyes were mostly dry, and she stood by Wilson. 

"It's nearly five, do you want me to take you home?" Wilson asked Madelyn. She was looking at House who seemed uncomfortable in every sense of the word, whether it be because he still felt bad for her, or because he thought he was innocent. 

Madelyn thanked Wilson and took a few steps, stopping right before House. Again, she raised her head to look at him face to face. 

"I'm sorry for my outburst. It was unprofessional, and it won't happen again. However, I'm not sorry for having feelings and experiencing them." She asserted. Wilson watched the way House and Madelyn interacted; it was like two opposite entities coming head to head. 

House looked at Madelyn sympathetically, unable to verbally communicate that he was sorry... and he was.

"Well, I did learn one thing from today," Madelyn admitted, "I've spent a long time denying the issues with my mother... and your team building day allowed me to be truthful to myself and to the pain she caused. "

Wilson waited eagerly for House's response.

"Thank you for keeping me honest." Madelyn finished, slowly stepping aside and away from House and Wilson. 

Once Madelyn was out of sight, Wilson looked at House in disbelief. 

"Why didn't you say anything?" Wilson asked, still waiting for House's response. House's tongue was searching for the words and finally, he said: 

"I really don't know much about her.", realizing that Madelyn Gilmore had transcended above just being his employee, but being someone House couldn't deny having genuine interest in as a person. 


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