41. U There

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The notification woke Silvia up a couple of hours before dawn. Guillermo was still sleeping, and she moved carefully to keep from waking him up. Nothing on her phone. Good. Her siblings hadn't been arrested, robbed, killed, and she didn't need to rush to the rescue. Then what? She saw she'd left the tablet on and grabbed it, frowning.

A DM? It was four AM on a Sunday in Argentina, and Jim had never written to her on his Saturday midnight. The message itself swept away any trace of sleep.

Her heart hammered her chest as she replied:

She got out of bed and grabbed a blanket to tiptoe out of her room, cursing every second Jim took to answer. What could've happened to him? Was he alright?

His second DM found her lighting a cigarette by the dining-room table.

Shit! What happened? She sent him her number, the cigarette trembling between her fingers, and hurried back to her room to get her phone before it buzzed, fear like a cold burn in her belly.

"Hey."

His voice was a weary whisper in her ear, so incredibly clear and close.

"Hey, what happened?" She didn't try to hide she was upset. The situation was odd enough to justify it.

"She's gone."

She heard him sigh and considered the possible meanings of his words. He didn't sound like somebody had just died.

"We had a fight and she just walked out on me," he said. "She— I know her, this is it."

His voice, his words, it was like nothing she'd ever heard from him. For a moment, she didn't know what to say, but she'd comforted friends with broken hearts before. This couldn't be that different.

He kept quiet, waiting for her words. In the empty living room, in the empty house, still feeling the chilling night breeze on his chest, he was no longer alone.

"You care about her?"

"Yeah."

"You love her?"

His lips tried to purse in a quick smile. "Love having her around."

"Then drop your damned phone and go find her, you moron!"

"What?"

"Dude! Your woman just dumped you and you're on the phone, international long-distance call? How much air can you hold in your brain?"

Jim chuckled. Sean would have told him to forget the fucking bitch, but Silvia was telling him to go after her.

"She won't have me back, believe me. Not after I— Never mind."

"Was she right? I mean, did you give her a reason to leave you?"

In the shadows of her dining room, cuddling in the old armchair in front of the TV, the light blanket wrapped around her legs, Silvia smiled. She could picture Jim looking up at the ceiling with a slight frown, convinced he hadn't given his chick any reason to leave, but beginning to suspect that maybe, depending on the point of view...

"Well, I wouldn't put it that way," he said, his eyes moving down the wall from the ceiling.

"Tell her you're sorry. Go to her place right now and apologize to her."

The silence that filled the living room in LA was a speech in itself.

"C'mon, Jay, she's not any chick or you wouldn't be calling me, instead of your brother or any other of your friends. You still wanna be with her. So lower that proud head of yours one damned time and tell her you're sorry. 'Cause you are."

"You fucking bitch."

"Excuse me?"

"Bull's eye."

"Fine, then go. Drop me a line tomorrow to let me know how it went."

"Wait."

They were both just as surprised when he said that. But his house was cold and quiet, and he couldn't go to Barb's place right then. And he didn't feel like going out or to sleep. And...

Silvia chuckled softly. "Only if you promise it isn't outta pride."

"Scout's honor. She doesn't live alone, so I can't go knock on her door in the middle of the night."

"Okay. So what are you guys up to? Getting ready to tour Asia?"

"Nah, we're leaving in two weeks. Plenty of time to pack. What were you doing?"

"Me? Sleeping with my man."

"Oops."

"I said sleeping."

"Oh, the fun was already over."

"You think I'd be on the phone with you if it wasn't?"

Jim took his turn to chuckle. "Of course. Let's see, tell me how it went down."

"Forget it. You'd end up touching yourself over my skill for graphic descriptions."

His laughter swept away the silence trying to confine him. He stood up from the couch and headed to his bedroom upstairs.

"You kinky cougar!"

"I'm no cougar, mind you! And Guillermo is older than me!"

"What time over there? It's about one here."

"Five here."

"That late already?"

"It's called time zones, Jay. I'm one hour ahead of the East Coast this time of the year. Two hours over your winter time."

She went to the kitchen to make herself a latte, and drank it while they talked about casual things. Then she made Jim promise he would apologize to Barbara.

"Okay, okay, and I'll DM you after. Heard you the first time," he said, getting in bed.

"Actually, don't. I don't need to know how it goes. Remember me? Nothing personal."

Jim stretched under the bed sheets, a hand behind his head.

"Yeah, sure. Just admit you're jealous."

"Jealous. Me. Let's see. Where are you at this very moment?"

"In bed."

"So your chick must be at her place, crying her heart out all by herself. And you're lying in your bed, alone, smiling at the ceiling 'cause you're talking to me. And I'm the one to be jealous?"

They laughed together once more.

"It's nice hearing your voice again, y'know?" he said.

"Ditto. Well, I hear yours a couple of times a week, but—"

"Don't play tough on me, woman."

Their voices were warmer and their laughter had turned into soft, intimate chuckles.

"You know me, Jay. But yeah, of course it's great talking to you again. Even if you scared the crap outta me, texting me like that."

"Afraid something wrong had happened to me?"

Back to the armchair, Silvia put an arm around her knees and rested her chin on them, her eyes out the window, where the late moon sparkled through the leaves.

"Of course I was. I'm glad it was nothing serious."

Jim turned off the nightstand lamp and rolled over. He could see the city lights reflecting on the sea outside the large window.

"You don't consider me broken-hearted to be something serious?"

"Why would I? Tony Stark's got a heart, not you." They chuckled. "Sorry, that was my inner bitch talking. To be true, now that I know what it was all about, I'm glad. I mean, I'm glad that you let her get to you this much."

"You do love drama."

"No, Jay, I like to see you give yourself permission to be down about what just happened."

Jim sighed, refusing to acknowledge every reason pushing the air through his lips. It was so good that she was there to talk to him. Even if there was the other side of the world. That night, there was by his side. Sneaking away from her lover to be with him, because he'd asked her to.

"Why won't you ever use my name?" he asked.

"I'm afraid that if I do, I'm gonna end up asking you for an autograph." The memory of his smile seemed to fill the shadows of the dining room. Like she just needed to reach out to touch him, to brush the hair away from those breathtaking eyes. She didn't notice she was whispering too. "You're Jay to me. You will always be."

Jim closed his eyes. Her voice was so warm. "I wanna hear you say it. Say my name."

Silvia knew she was free to refuse. But he would insist and she'd end up doing it anyway. Because she didn't care doing it if he wanted her to.

"Jim."

The silence pooled while both of them took in that it was the very first time she'd addressed him that way. And it felt good. It felt damn good.

So he also called her by her name for the very first time.

"Night, Silvia."

It was as if he were leaning in toward her, to whisper her name and kiss her cheek. She could almost feel his warm breath on her skin.

"Night, Jim."

He turned his back to the sea with the excuse of leaving his phone on the nightstand, and closed his eyes with one last sigh.

She lingered in the armchair, her eyes lost on the dark silhouettes of the trees out there, not feeling at all like going back to sleep.

One bed was too empty in Santa Monica. One bed was too crowded in Bariloche.

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