113. Explain the Thoughts

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Miyen found her with her arms folded on the table and her face hidden against them, crying like her heart was about to shatter in a thousand pieces. He sat down by her side and put his arm around her shoulders without a word, but she wouldn't calm down.

He saw the tablet with the video still on screen and decided to see what he was dealing with. He put on the earphones and kept his arm around her shoulders to watch the clip. He took under a minute to start cursing under his breath, listening to the lyrics.

I can't explain the way I feel inside
When you're not around
I can't explain the thoughts that fill my head
When you're not around.

And all of the while I let you go...

Take my heart, my name
Everything I've got I give to you
Our hearts are the same
Everything I've got I give to you.

I can't explain the way I treated you
When you were around
I can't explain the things I said to you
When you were around.

And all of the while I let you go...

Take my heart, my name
Everything I've got I give to you
Our hearts are the same
Everything I've got I give to you.

My wonder, my everything
Come back to me.

Miyen pulled the earphones off of his ears, growling, and turned to Silvia. She tried to sit up and wipe her tears, drawing shaky breaths. He made vows to keep calm.

"Okay. I get this shit is a fucking low blow," he said. "Actually it's a one-two-three. Which one knocked you out?"

Silvia tried to reply, shook her head and hid her face against his shoulder. He waited, rubbing her back gently.

"That it's not enough!" she groaned.

Miyen frowned, taken completely aback. He repeated her reply to himself and it still didn't make any sense. She straightened up in her seat, wiping her nose with the back of her hand as she nodded to the tablet.

"I..." she mumbled, and needed a couple of tries to put up a full sentence. "I'm honored and I'm thrilled, it's such a great song! And he made it for me? Jesus! I can't even begin to wrap my mind around it. But..." Silvia sighed, rubbed her face, ran her hands through her hair. "I need a man, Miyen. A man who loves me. A real man, flesh and blood and here. Not a rockstar on a stage, wasting his talent on me because I dared to say no."

Her friend squinted. "What? Sil, he's telling you he loves you."

"No, he's singing a song about missing someone he knew he mistreated. Yeah, maybe that's me, it fits. So what? And even if he said he loves me in his song, what does it mean? Maybe it's only to make it rhyme. 'Cause I care about you is too long for the line!"

Miyen managed to catch her in his arms when she bent forward, crying her heart out again.

"I can't, Miyen! I can't take any more bluffs! I know I'm being a shitty chicken, that I should tell him to cut the crap and leave me be. But that's only gonna make it worse. And I'm so damned sure it's just another dead end! Is it so wrong, not wanting to be hurt again?"

**Chasing Avalanche, Explain the Thoughts w/lyrics**

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