Chapter 22

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Time passed as Earl sat in the dark, hunched in his wheelchair, wringing his hands. How long had it been? He hadn’t slept.

The minutes had passed into hours. For all he knew, the hours had passed into days. He didn’t know what had been on the news; he didn’t know how his shows were doing, didn’t even know what day it was.

It would have been simple enough to turn on the TV and find all those things out. But he just didn’t have the heart. The whole world was outside his door, but as far as he was concerned, it could stay out there.

Deep in his funk, he barely noticed the knock at the door. It was just a small tapping really, hesitant and uncommanding. Whoever it was could go away.

When he heard it again, he wheeled over to the door. He couldn’t reach the peephole, but he could peek out the curtain. College girl was out in the hall. Waiting.

Earl paused. There was a third hesitant knock, so he unlocked the door and opened it a crack. “Yes?”

Jenny stood there. “Hello, Mr. Walker. I just came to check on you. See how you’re doing.” Earl continued to stare, the door still open only a crack. “May I come in?”

Earl looked at her, his hand still on the doorknob. It would be easy enough to simply shut the door and be done with it. He relented. “Fine.” He wheeled himself back into the dark living room.

Jenny turned on the lamp and sat on the chair by the couch. “I know what a hard time this must be for you.”

Earl didn’t answer. He was hunched again, hands locked, staring off into nowhere.

“I can’t believe it myself. I think I’m shaking,” she chattered. She forced a laugh. “It’s like I don’t even know how to talk to you anymore. Isn’t that silly?”

Earl didn’t answer. He didn’t even look at her.

“Maybe I should do some cleaning. Would you like that?”

Jenny got up from her chair. She stood a second, looking at him. Then she went into the kitchenette and went through the cabinets.

She came back with a rag and a can of furniture polish. She began dusting off the furniture around the living room. She wiped off the lamp stand, the end table by the couch, and the credenza. The room was taking on a lemony smell.

“Hey,” she said, “remember how I came and you thought I was a maid?” She moved the television set to the left and dusted. “Well, you didn’t actually think I was a maid. I know, you don’t have maids at Candlewick.” She moved the television to the right, dusted. “But I thought you thought I was a maid.” She put the TV back in place and looked at him. “Isn’t that funny?”

Earl still ignored her, occupied in his own little world. He was like a statue.

Jenny stood a moment, holding the rag. “Do you really want to stay inside like this? We could go outside.”

He shot her a look then turned away from her.

“We don’t have to talk to anybody if you don’t want to,” she continued. “But we could just get some fresh air. We could even just go out to the garden if you wanted. Would you like that?”

He didn’t answer.

“It’s just so unhealthy to sulk like this, all by yourself in the dark,” she continued. “Your spirits will never improve this way.”

He still had no answer.

“Hey, I brought you some materials from other retirement communities.” She set her backpack on the coffee table, pulled out her Bible, and then dug through the bag until she found a stack of brochures. She set them on the table. When he didn’t respond, she went to the TV. “Say, maybe you want to see what’s on right now. Would you like that?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t even seem to register the question.

She turned the set on, and the screen flickered to life. She went to the end table and grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels. Judge show, midday news report, reruns. “Here, want to pick something?”

She handed him the remote. He looked at it a second like it was some strange object he had never seen. He pointed it at the TV and hit the Off button. The TV flickered to black.

Jenny sat in the chair again. “I guess I’ve been stalling. I came here because I have something I need to tell you. I just don’t know how to break it to you.”

Earl looked at her. “I see.” He looked away. Began rubbing his hands together.

“You’re such a sweet man; I just hate the idea of hurting you—any further, I mean.” Jenny hesitated then stood again. “Say, would you like me to get you something to drink?”

Earl had nothing to say. He barely noticed her leaving for the kitchenette again. He heard her open a cabinet and grab some glasses. There was the sound of the fridge opening then some pouring. She came back with two glasses of grapefruit juice.

She began to hand him his glass and stopped. “You didn’t just take your pills, did you?”

He shook his head and took the glass from her. He took a sip. It was welcome refreshment, but he wasn’t going to tell her.

She took her chair again and sipped from her own glass of juice. She made a face but didn’t comment. Instead she said, “So, anyway, I came by to see how you’re doing.”

Earl said, “You wanted to tell me something.”

“Oh. Yes.” She sipped again from her glass. “I just didn’t know how to—”

“Whatever it is, just spit it out. It can’t be any worse than what you did already.”

“Ouch—I guess I deserved that.” Jenny took a deep breath. “Okay, the sheriff’s department got the results on that glass. You were right, it was the toner fluid—the test came out 100 percent positive.”

Earl considered this. “Why would they tell you that?”

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t they?”

“Isn’t it an ongoing investigation? They still have more suspects to interrogate. They still have more leads they have to follow. Right?”

Jenny looked at him with pity. “I’m afraid not.”

“But how—?” His voice trailed off.

“I talked to the lady in the Candlewick main office. They came and took all the chemicals out of the cabinet for testing.”

Earl tilted his head. His lips moved. He tried to say something, but no words came.

Jenny smiled awkwardly. “One good thing—they are also going through Nelson’s files. Based on our tip, the sheriff decided it was worth investigating the betting operation he had with Kent.”

“So, Nelson has been arrested?”

“Not yet. But it looks like he won’t be able to get away with what he was doing. You see? We stopped him before he could set up at some new place and hurt someone else.”

“Huh.” Earl began wringing his hands again. “So they might still decide he was the one who killed Kent.”

Jenny got quiet. Her face turned red. “Well—”

Earl noticed. “What?”

She replied in a small voice. “It sounds like they’ve narrowed their investigation to just Gloria.” She sighed. “She seemed like such a nice lady.”

He rubbed his eyes. “Just when you start to trust someone—”

He gripped the wheels on his chair and started rocking, like he wanted to go somewhere but hadn’t decided quite where yet.

Jenny asked, “Have you eaten?”

Earl hesitated. Then he slowly shook his head.

She got up and went into the kitchenette. He could hear her banging around, doors opening and closing; the girl was apparently looking in the cabinets, in the refrigerator, in the pantry. After a few minutes of clattering, she came back. “I found some cans of soup. Would you like some soup?”

He seemed to consider the question deeply. He finally nodded lightly, like he could take it or leave it.

Jenny hesitated then went back into the kitchenette. Earl followed her, wheeling himself in after her. He watched her go back to the cabinets and choose two cans.

She used the can opener then poured the contents into two bowls. She picked up the bowls and stood uncertainly, looking this way and that.

Earl frowned. “What are you looking for?”

“Your microwave.”

“Don’t have one.”

“Oh.”

While she set the bowls down and got out a pan for the stove, Earl wheeled himself back into the living room. He needed something to occupy himself with, but nothing seemed to interest him. He did not want to go out; he did not want to stay in. He did not want to do anything. He did not want to be anything. He just wished he could go to sleep and wake up and that everything would be different. But that wasn’t going to happen.

“It should be heated in a few minutes.” Jenny sat next to him. “You know, you can’t turn your back on the human race.”

He grunted. “It’s done me all right so far.”

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened.” She got up. “I have to check the stove.”

Earl stared at the coffee table. He reached for the framed photo of him with Barbara. He wondered what she would have thought about all this.

“Maybe it was self-defense,” the girl called out. “We don’t have all the facts yet. But I guess that’s for Gloria and the courts to work out.” The girl returned with a steaming bowl, setting it on the coffee table. “Here. Do you have any TV trays or anything?”

“In the closet.” He wheeled closer and looked at the steaming bowl. “You gotta be kidding me.”

She returned with a metal tray. “What?”

He looked up at her, squinting. “Chili?”

“What?” Her eyes grew wide. Trembling, she came and looked in his bowl. “I didn’t think—”

“I should say you didn’t.”

“Wait, this isn’t chili.” She was relieved. “It’s stew.”

“Huh.” It was as close to an apology as he was willing to offer.

“If you want, I can give you the cream of mushroom. That’s what I have on the stove now.”

“No. This is okay, I guess.”

“I try not to eat any red meat. That’s why I was making the other soup for me.”

“That’s all right.”

She set the metal tray across his lap then the bowl of stew on the tray. “There you go. Oh—you need a spoon.”

Earl stared at his bowl. Chunks of beef. All those vegetables. He couldn’t for the life of him remember why he ever bought such a thing.

“Gloria is like that, too,” the girl called from the kitchenette.

“Like what?”

Jenny came back with his spoon. “She doesn’t eat red meat either. We talked about it at the party.”

Earl grunted again. He took a spoonful of his stew and blew on it. While he ate, Jenny got her own soup. She returned and started eating. They were silent several minutes, accompanied only by the sound of metal spoons against china, of the slurping of warm liquids.

“You know,” Jenny said between spoonfuls, “in a way, what you did for Gloria is like what Jesus did for you. What He did for all of us.”

Earl slurped from his own spoon. “I don’t want to hear about it.”

“I guess that’s what you were trying to do for Gloria, wasn’t it? When you figured out that Gloria killed that man, you tried to take her place.”

“Stop! Just stop!” Earl found it hard to breathe. He clutched his chest. The girl stood quickly, knocking her bowl over. Soup splattered across the carpet. Earl held up his hand to keep her back. “Just—stop.”

“Are you all right?”

“I’ve had enough.”

She went for his bowl. “I’ll just take that away.”

“No, I mean enough of your jabber! I was happy before you came along.”

“How could you—” Jenny stood there, dumbfounded.

“Maybe you should just leave.”

She set his bowl back down and went to the kitchen. She came back with a damp towel and got on her hands and knees to work on the rug.

“Leave it.” Earl waved a trembling hand. “Just go away.”

Jenny stood back up and gestured with the wet towel. “When I first came here, you were miserable.” Her voice was trembling. “You were just a shriveled old man in a wheelchair, sitting all day in front of your television. You were alone, and you hated it.”

“Don’t give me that. I was happy without God. Without you. Without Gloria.”

“That’s it, isn’t it? If you hadn’t met Gloria, she wouldn’t have broken your heart. Well, people do bad things, Mr. Walker. People hurt people. We live in a fallen world, so that will always be the case. But like I said, you can’t just turn your back on the human race. We must forgive others, because God—”

“Get out!” Earl pointed at the door.

Jenny’s face fell, her eyes welling up with tears. “I am so sorry.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” He wheeled for the front door. Fumbling with the knob, his whole body trembled with rage. Finally he got the door open. “Go.”

Shoulders slumped, Jenny marched slowly to the door. Crossing the threshold, she turned back. “If you should need something, don’t hesitate to—”

“I never want to see you again.” He slammed the door. Wheeling himself back into the living room, he saw the scrap of paper on the end table with Jenny's phone number. He grabbed the paper and ripped it to pieces.

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