DISCLAIMER: THIS BOOK IS NOT ADVERTISING DRUGS. I HAVE DONE MY RESEARCH AND SPOKE TO PEOPLE ETC FOR DESCRIPTIONS. DRUGS ARE VERY BAD!!!

CONTAINS THE 100 SPOILERS LOL

*******
-LINAS POV-

Let me describe a comedown to you. I'm using the comedown from ecstasy, the horror I'm feeling now, as my example.

You have felt elevated and above the earth for hours- mystically happy, like the world is ethereal, and honestly you don't even feel real. Then slowly but surely, it wears off.

You go to sleep, slowly losing the amazing emotions you were experiencing, left with drowsiness and a bit of nausea from when you accidentally downed three bottles of WKD when you were high.

When you awake, nothing feels real.

When you awake, pain is your company.

I feel disassociated from the world, and I feel so so low, compared to the blissful time I had last night. You can never fully remember, just in snippets, but you remember that feeling and your body craves it.

As I brush my teeth, my body craves it.

Drugs are one of the most common things for someone to get addicted to- they can either make you feel numb, or numb your pain. A numb addiction, people would say sometimes.

However, I am not addicted.

I remember the first time I did ecstasy. I was young, I only started counting my age when I was like fifteen, but I remember being young. I already smoked weed, and that was enough for me, but my 'friend' encouraged me into doing so.

I woke up, craving it, and have done ever since.

I spit out my toothpaste and rub my red eyes, before splashing water over my face. I grab my phone out and email Miss Hammett to let her know I won't be in English, before emerging from the toilet.

"You look rough." Sin comments, stating the fucking obvious.

"Thank you?"

He chuckles as I sit on my bed and climb under the duvet, I was meant to be doing well at college but there's no way I can go to lessons with how I'm feeling.

"On a serious note, are you okay? Do you have a temperature? Do you want some, um, water?" He says, leaning over and putting his hand on my head.

His kindness almost makes me feel guilty for how rude I was last night. Almost.

"I'm fine, Sin, what are you, my mother?" I laugh, then bite my lip as the word mother is always enough to kill my mood, and I'm already in a bad one.

Sin walks over to the kitchenette and fills up a pint of water, then comes back and hands it to me.

"I can stay off English, if you want. And um, help you out. If you want."

Part of me wants to stay close, then I remember my morals.

Never let anyone too close to you.

"Oh my god, I'm fine! Just go to fucking English and stop bothering me." I put my water on the side next to my bed and crawl deeper into my duvet.

A sigh comes from Sin, then I feel his presence leave and after around ten minutes, the door slams.

I bite my lip and close my eyes, trying to sleep.

"No... No... Please...Dad...." I scream, then sit up, confused and in a daze.

A nightmare.

I grab a pre-rolled joint from my draw, open the window and stand beside it, taking large puffs in an attempt to destress myself.

I check my phone after finishing my joint, seeing a message from Rhiannon, informing me that she's on her way.

I sigh, then walk the few steps to the kitchenette and turn the kettle on.

She arrives in perfect timing, after I've made us blth a tea.

"Is caffeine good for a baby?" She says worringly as she takes a sip.

I shrug, "You think I would know that?"

We laugh and she talks to me about Brandon and the baby which she has called 'bubs' (that poor, poor child) and other boring shit I really couldn't care about.

"So, how's Sin?" She winks at me, and I roll my eyes.

"Am I fucking psychic now?"

She puts her hand on her babies stomach. "One, don't swear around my baby. And two, no, I just meant because you guys are totally a thing."

"One, your baby definitely cannot hear me, your what, a month or two pregnant? Is it even a baby at this point, or a clump of cells?"

Rhiannon elbows me. "Don't talk about my baby like that."

I laugh, then continue with what I was saying.

"And two, there is nothing going on with Sin and I. We are just friends. Not even that, just civilised roommates."

She raises an eyebrow. "Whatever you say, babe. But your missing out. He's packing, Cat, and the whole college knows it."

"Your way of convincing me to fuck him is by telling me he's a man whore? Wow, because the idea of chlamydia really gets me going." I say with a playful smile, and it's her time to roll her eyes.

"Can you ever not be sarcastic?" she says rhetorically, before continuing, "you are really missing out. He clearly likes you. He takes you out, he's kind to you, there's a lot of sexual chemistry there-"

I raise an eyebrow at her and she winks at me.

"Don't deny it. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, and he sticks up for you and protects you, heck he even fucking punched Patrick for you!"

Wait, what?

My mind flashes back to when I found him in a state, and his rage when I went to see Patrick after helping him.

Fuck.

"I'm guessing by the appalled look on your face that you didn't know that?" Rhiannon says nervously, twisting her hair round her finger like she does when she's anxious.

I shake my head, and the guilt that began to creep upon me earlier arrives once more; this time I can't brush it off.

"Stop being anxious, isn't that bad for your baby?"

She grins. "You mean my clump of cells?"

"Shut up." I laugh and she giggles, as we sit and drink our tea like old grannies before their bingo game.

*********
When Sin comes back, I have set up a den on the floor and laid out a plate of nutella toast, and two glasses of pink lemonade. You see, when I'm guilty, I can be a really nice person!

My laptop is placed in the middle, with the 100 loaded up.

"What's all this?"

I bite my lip, which makes him smirk.

"Is the all bitchy Catalina apologising?"

Shrugging, I sit down.

"Don't get used to it."

He chuckles, and promises me he won't. He sits down, and we continue to watch season 2.

After a few hours worth of watching, we get to Finn's death, and although it doesn't bother me, tears collect in Sin's eyes.

"Are you crying?" I laugh, meanly mocking him.

He shakes his head. "Nope. I don't cry. Your laptop is dusty."

"My laptop is dusty? Yeah, sure, that's definitely it." I nod, my words laced with sarcasm, as they always are.

He chuckles and wipes his eyes, pausing the laptop and sitting up.

"Can we have a break? For me to, um, get the dust out my eyes."

He's acting weird.

"Oh yes, of course. I need a smoke, anyway. Have fun getting the dust out your eyes, crybaby." I ruffle his hair as I know he cares about how he looks way too much, then wink at him before crawling out of my den.

"Bitch." He mutters.

I put my head back into the den. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing," he smiles sweetly, "absolutely nothing."

"That's what I thought." I reply, before heading to the window, spliff in hand.

After around a thirty minute break, we are both ready to do something, but neither of us are in the mood for TV watching. My mood has sort of improved and I feel a bit happier.

My drivers test was only a few days ago (I did a crash course) and I passed. I have a motorbike from the services, but no insurance yet....

"Feel like breaking some rules?" I smirk at Sin and he eyes me up and down.

"I'm gonna regret this, but with you? Always."

I grab his arm and drag him out of the room, towards my bike.

*******

"I'm going to die!" Sin yells, his arms holding onto the holder on his seat.

I roll my eyes. "Your distracting me! I gave you my fucking helmet, Sin, and you left it at the room, if anyones going to die, it's me!"

His constant whining is ruining my love for the motorbike ride, so I tell him to use me to keep him steady. It's always easier for the passenger to do that, instead of holding the seat, because it allows them more space and it is far more secure in my opinion.

His arms slide around my waist, his hands resting around my belly button area, his chin nuzzled into my shoulder/neck area. I ignore the sudden warmth I feel and continue to focus on the road.

"Thank you. I don't know what your apologising for, but it means a lot." He whispers into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

I pull over in a lay-by, as I can't exactly concentrate on the road and have a conversation at the same time.

"I'm a bitch, Sin. That's not what I'm apologising for, I'm proud of that. This is not an apology. I found out why you hit Patrick."

His cheeks tinge red. "Rhiannon has the biggest mouth, doesn't she? I was just trying to respect you girls, but um, mainly you. I didn't like the dirty talk."

"Really? I thought you'd be a huge fan of dirty talk."

His cheeks tinge even more red, and I can't help but smirk at my sudden new-found ability (which I love) to make him flustered.

"Anyway, do you want to go out or head back? We've been on the bike for a while, so maybe we should go back."

He nods. "Oh, yeah. Okay then."

"Okay."

He smiles at me, and for once, I allow myself to smile back.

~~~~~~~~~

hey bitches!

i am suffering from....

writers block!

p.s it sucks :/

so i am really sorry that the past few chapters haven't been to my best ability! but don't worry, we are getting to the good parts soon ;)

- anonymous a xoxo