-Oliver-

When I got back from Sol Duc Falls, it was just starting to get dark. Cooper and I had stayed at the falls for a while, and then wandered around on another short trail in the area. Time seemed to pass quickly whenever I was with him.

Brad was reclined on the bed with the TV on. "Why were you gone so long? I was about to go get dinner without you."

"Sorry. Cooper and I lost track of time."

Brad rolled his eyes. "You actually wanted to hang out with that redneck again?"

"Stop calling him that! He's not a redneck."

"He looks like one to me. Are you sure it's a good idea to hang out with him? People like that typically aren't okay with us. He could easily overpower you and drag you behind his truck or call up some of his buddies to help him beat a gay man."

I glared. "Cooper is gay, just like us."

Brad's mouth dropped open, and I could tell he was speechless.

"You should know better," I continued.

"How was I supposed to guess that he's gay? Did you know the moment you sat next to him on a plane?" he accused me.

"No, I didn't. And yes, I was a little surprised, but I didn't question it or judge him for not fitting the gay stereotype."

A muscle in Brad's jaw twitched as he glared at the TV.

"I wouldn't have to hang out with him if you would actually spend time with me, like we were supposed to on this trip."

"Is that what this is? You're trying to punish me by hanging out with another guy?"

"Are you threatened?"

Brad snorted. "Threatened by some backwoods hick that works two manual labor jobs? No."

I shook my head, exasperated by his continuous insults and his inability to grasp the point I was making. "No, Brad, I'm not trying to make you jealous. I actually want to spend time with you, my boyfriend, but you're acting like this entire trip is a chore for you. Like you don't even want to spend time with me."

"That's ridiculous. Of course I want to spend time with you."

"Then act like it! Don't keep leaving me to hike on my own! Put me first for once!"

"I do put you first!" Brad yelled, getting to his feet. "I took two weeks away from my career to come on this trip with you, to bumfuck Washington, when I'd rather go somewhere more exciting!"

I felt tears welling in my eyes. "See?" I said, my voice getting quieter. "You make it sound like you made a huge sacrifice to spend time with me, instead of looking forward to it. I want you to be excited about me and about us."

Brad sighed and put one hand over his face, closing his eyes. "Okay," he said, his voice eerily calm and measured. "Let's get some food. I think I'm irritable because I'm hungry. We can talk after that."

I was too upset to go anywhere in public with him, so I shook my head. "I'm not hungry, and I need to take a shower. You go ahead. Pick whatever restaurant you want."

Brad looked like he wanted to say something, and then decided against it. "Fine. I'll bring you back something, okay?" He stepped forward and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, and then picked up his jacket and left.

Things didn't get any better between us. I could tell Brad was trying when he came back from the restaurant, but it felt like we were both going through the motions. We ended up having sex, him pushing into me with sharp thrusts, but it wasn't the same as before. It was like the magic and our desire for each other had worn off.

-

The next morning when I woke up, Brad was dressed and standing at the window, looking out at the harbor. I don't know what it was about the sight, but I could tell something was wrong. When he saw I was awake, he came back over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. "Do you want to get dressed? I can go grab some breakfast from the lobby area and bring it back."

I nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

When he returned, we ate in silence. I was torn between apologizing to him for last night and trying to start over, and confronting him about the way he'd been treating me. When I pictured a great relationship, it didn't include my partner standing back and watching me struggle financially, or me feeling like I had to come up with ways to keep his attention and get him to spend more time with me. Cooper's words echoed in my mind. Love doesn't do that.

But that was the problem. I loved Brad. I was so attracted to him, to his good looks and his charm, his confidence, his ability to draw people in. Whenever we were at a club, I felt proud to be with him, with this intelligent man who was a great dancer and knew how to make me laugh.

I reached over and took his hand, and he squeezed mine back. "Oliver, we should talk," he said.

"I know. I don't want to keep fighting like this."

"Me neither. It feels like we can't give each other what we need, and I think we haven't been happy for a while." He took a deep breath. "I think it's time for us to go our separate ways."

I looked up at him, instantly feeling sick. "What? You want to break up?"

"Yes."

"But...but..." Shocked, I struggled for words. "We're in the middle of our trip."

"It's just a trip. And this isn't working. I don't want to be here anymore, so I'm going to get a flight back home tomorrow."

I felt lightheaded and leaned back in my chair. "You don't want to try making some changes? Or going to counseling? We can spend the second half of the trip in Seattle, if you'd be happier in a city." I didn't know how to process the fact that Brad was giving up on us.

"No. I've made my decision. And if we need counseling after only being together for two years, that's a problem."

I gripped his hand tighter, but he pulled it out of my grasp. Just like that, I was losing him. Losing the man I'd wanted to marry someday. I took a shuddering breath as a tear slipped from my eye and made a slow trail down my cheek. This didn't seem real. 

Brad's eyes were glistening, and he grabbed a tissue and wiped his face. "You're a great guy, Oliver. I don't want you thinking you're not. But I think you're a great guy for someone else, not for me."

I nodded, tears continuing to slide down my cheeks.

"I think it's best if you move out of the condo within thirty days. I won't ask for rent for December, since you'll need to put a deposit down on a new apartment."

I nodded again. I didn't know what to say.

"I'll give you some space."

Brad left the room, taking his work laptop with him, and I guessed he was going to the business center in the hotel or to a nearby coffee shop. I didn't know what I was going to do now, so I just got back in bed and pulled the blanket over my face.

-

I spent the rest of the morning in bed, crying on and off as I thought about the good memories Brad and I had. Eventually I got up and took a shower and started looking at flights back home. They were all expensive since it was last minute, and I didn't know if the airline would let me cancel my original flight without penalty. Even so, my heart wasn't in it. I didn't want to go home and pack up all of my stuff and face the end of my relationship with Brad. I knew staying here was just prolonging the inevitable, but maybe I deserved a week to take my mind off the situation by exploring a new place. I didn't have to check out of this hotel until the day after tomorrow, so I had time to figure out how to stay here.

During the afternoon, I spent a few hours looking up different apartment buildings in San Diego. Everything was expensive enough that I'd probably have to find a roommate. I texted my friend Cameron to ask if I could sleep on his couch for a while and if he knew of anyone who needed a roommate.

Brad came back around dinnertime. "Hey. I'm going to order a pizza and watch TV, maybe sit in the hot tub. I can't eat a whole pizza on my own, so you're welcome to have some of it."

"Thanks." I didn't really feel like eating, but knew I probably should. It was going to be awkward spending another night in the same hotel room together.

"Did you find a flight for tomorrow?" Brad asked.

"No. I think I'm going to finish out the rest of the trip."

Brad stared at me. "That's up to you, but I'm driving the rental car back to the airport tomorrow. And Oliver, I'm not paying for my half of the lodge, so you're going to have to find somewhere to stay for the second week that fits your budget. I think it'd be smarter for you to come with me to the airport, but I can't force you."

Of course Brad wasn't going to help me with the rest of the trip. I hadn't expected him to, but it still sucked that now I'd have to figure out how to afford it on my own.

We didn't speak much for the rest of the night, and when we laid down, Brad stayed as far as he could to his side of the bed. He didn't try to comfort me as I quietly cried until I fell asleep. The next morning, I watched him pack up his things and take them out to the rental car. He came back into the room one last time.

"I'll see you whenever you decide to come back. I can start getting some boxes together for you to pack your stuff in."

I nodded, blinking back tears as it all started to sink in.

"Goodbye, Oliver."

And then he was gone.