A/n pov

As everyone geared up for war Sage and his group of retarded officers were seen in a dark cave dressed in white robes.

Officer Sage: Gentlemen  before we begin the ritual anyone of y'all got any questions?

Officer BIG_GOOSEY2 : Yeah bro I got one why the fuck are we in the bathroom of a Arizona  dairy queens? 

Officer Sage: Cuz duality or some shit. It's hotter than hell but the ice cream is cold as ice!....or something I honestly don't fucking know.

Officer Dreadfuljoy : I also got a question where the hell did you get the budget for these white robes?

Officer Sage: Oh some nice white southern gentlemen  gave me them!

Officer CrimsonSector87 :Wait white southern men?

Officer Sage: Ye! They were very kind and kept saying White powder whatever that means >:3

Officers:......Bruh.

Officer Sage: What?

Officer  MrSkywalker69 : AYO SAGE BRO NOO THOSE GUYS WERE KLANS MEN!

Officer Sage: What  HAHAHAHAHA NO WAY! WOULD A KKK MEMBER SPOUT THINGS LIKE KILL THAT DUMB NIG-....you know what I see you were right now. OOOH WELL we already called in a racist but now we need the stronger guns too as a just in case.

Officer PatientZeroStudios :The hell you mean also when in the  putin's non existent hairline did I get in this story!?

Officer Sage: Plot my friend NOW THEN PULL OUT OF THE FRIED CHICKEN , LEAN, AND THE NAPKIN BOYS !

 Pulling out the sacred  items  the boys prayed as Sage said the golden words.

Officer Sage:  WE SUMMON YOU THE ALMIGHTY GODS SO YOU MAY AVOID CHILD SUPPORT AND BEAT UP WOMEN WITHOUT  PUNISHMENT! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

As a burst of unknown energy surrounded the boys hide out Sage smirked While he did he begin to laugh insanely.

Officer Ghostzaiko : Hey uhhh is Sage alright?

Officer Sage: ALRIGHT BOYS TAKE OUT YOUR DICKS!!

Officer JustYourAverageToast : Oh fucking hell i'm out of here

Officer Sage: DOOOOO IIIITTTT BOYS!!!!!!!

Listening because the plot left them no choice to boys listened. As the very multiverse shook Y/n and the others stared in awe.

Y/n: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING OUT THERE?!

(Meanwhile in Best boi heaven)

Riser; W-What is going on? Riser doesn't understand?!

???: iI believe we are being rallied for war my fiery demonic friend.

Riser turned around to see who spoke only to stare in shock. Soon his shock  turned to a smirk as he cracked his knuckles.

Riser: it'd be an honor..I'll the others beer when  I get back..

???: Time for me to defend my country.

As the gates to heaven opened up  Sage and the others bowed to their secret weapons with respect.

Riser: I've returned to the world of the living.

Officer Sage: I take it ou all know why you're here?

??? 2: The Mulitverse  requires fixing.

Officer Sage; Yes sir.. and we know only you all can do it.

??? 3: Allow us to try.

Gay male femnazi: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MASCULINE POWER  IT CANT' BE POSSIBLE?!

???:: I assure you it is

Just like how there is no universe where you get some bitches while I make america great!

To be continued