Chapter 76 - Here's to 22

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Campus was quiet today while I sat on the bench outside the student union building. The Texas winter had finally passed, but Spring days were few and far between. Today though, well, today felt promising.

It had that feeling in the air, you know the feeling where it's like you can sense warmer weather coming. That feeling always made me giddy, it was like a fresh start.

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly while I watched a squirrel run up a tree. A tree with new flower buds forming.

I smiled.

We were just a few weeks away from the competition that I reluctantly signed up for. We had to write two songs and both of mine were already written. Did I constantly work on them? Change them? Yes, but I had them already.

I was nervous, not about the performance part ironically, but instead that people I knew would hear these songs. The songs were personal. The songs tell things I've never spoken out loud before.

Once I performed them, everyone would know. They would all see right through me and I was scared to death of that.

I was also excited. There was something about the prospect of admitting my struggles to the world that leaves me feeling...free. Like the second it's out there, it's power to effect me is reduced.

I pulled my backpack back onto my shoulders and stood, my back cracking as I stretched.

It's been almost three years since my father died. How surreal.

As I made my way back to the music building where my car was parked, memories of my father creeped their way up.

Taking deep breaths, I welcomed them. I welcomed the good pain they brought.

They were little moments, moments like eating breakfast on the deck of our house, failing at camping, him making me hot chocolate, him teaching me to dance for the first time.

I took in another deep breath and closed my eyes as I blew it out.

His blonde hair and smiling eyes filled my head. Days like these were always full of his memories.

I dug my keys out of pocket and climbed the steps to the building.

When I opened the doors, the old instrument smell hit me instantly. It didn't sting as much anymore, over time it's become good. It had a particular nip to it, but it wasn't as panic inducing. It was in part due to the anxiety meds they put me on a few months ago. Thankfully, I was being weaned off already. They felt I was ready.

They said my progress was moving so quickly, they believe I only needed help managing the fear associated with the memories and once I was exposed to it enough, my brain would no longer go into fight or flight mode.

I suppose they were right.

"Excuse me," a guy said from behind me.

I turned around to find someone who certainly didn't look like he belonged in this building.

"Would you mind pointing me in the right direction to the business building?"

That was far more fitting. He was holding a briefcase, a cell phone in one hand and a sport coat. Business type for sure.

"Sure," I smiled and began walking back in the direction I came from.

"Thank you, you're a life saver," he smiled and fell into step beside me.

"No worries," I replied. I noticed he had a gap in between his two front teeth. For some reason, it gave him an endearing quality, something imperfect for his chiseled jaw and dark hair. It made him less intimidating.

He couldn't be more than a few years older than Jared.

I moved to push open the doors, but he beat me to it and held them open for me.

"Thank you," I smiled.

I stepped out a bit more and pointed in the direction he would need to go.

"Head past the student union building and its on the other side of the rec," I explained.

"Which building is the rec?" He stared at his phone, zooming in on what I assumed was a map.

Poor soul.

"Come on," I began taking the steps down. "I'll help you."

He scrambled to catch up with me.

"Oh no, I couldn't ask you to do that," he shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"I have nowhere to be, honest," I smiled.

"You have the be the kindest college student I've ever encountered, I owe you one," he smiled, genuinely thankful.

"Oh surely not," I laughed. "Are you from around here?"

"Oh no, I live in New York," he replied as he slid his phone into his briefcase. "I'm just here to give a presentation."

I lit up at the fact that he was from New York.

"Really? I always love meeting a fellow east coaster while in Texas," I laughed. "It's rare."

"Rare indeed," he laughed. "Are you from New York as well?"

"Massachusetts, Cape Cod."

His eyes widened. "You're from the Cape? Wow, I've never met a local before."

I shrugged. "We do exist believe it or not."

He laughed. It was warm. It was nice. He might be the first human interaction I've had outside of classmates and Brooke and Brayden.

"My family would vacation at Martha's Vineyard when I was younger," he said. Ahh, a rich guy, I mentally noted. He was oddly nice for the kind of person you would normally find vacationing there.

"How touristy of you," I teased.

He laughed. "That's fair," he nodded. "Wow, what's a Cape girl doing in Texas?"

"You know, everyone asks me that," I smiled.

"It's a logical question," he shrugged. "You come a beautiful area."

"I do," I agreed. "I wanted a change, I guess."

"Big change," he noted.

"Huge."

I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye.

"I'm Nate by the way," he held his hand out.

I shook it firmly. "Alice."

"Alice," he murmured thoughtfully. "Really? I've never met anyone with that name."

"I'm just full of surprises aren't I?" I joked.

He stuffed a hand in his pocket as he watched me.

"You certainly are."

We walked in silence we crossed a road before I heard him suck in a breath like he was going to say something, but he held back.

I glanced at him. He seemed like he was having an internal debate before he noticed me staring.

I looked away, embarrassed.

"What year are you?" he finally asked.

"Senior."

"Congratulations, you're just shy of being done," he said.

"Thankfully," I nodded.

"Headed back east?"

I shrugged. "I have no idea honestly," admitted.

We quickly crossed another road and came to a slow halt as I spotted the business building.

"Alright, here we are," I smiled at him.

"That wasn't as far as I expected," he said while looking at the building.

"Nah, not too bad," I said.

He turned back to me, his hand twiddling with the edge of his jacket.

"Well Alice, it was lovely to meet you," he smiled and held his hand out again.

I shook it.

"Can I thank you with dinner tonight?" His eyes held mine and I could tell he was the kind of person a girl wouldn't say no to.

I was flattered and even my heart was a little warmed by the gesture. Honestly, I was shocked. I didn't know what to say.

"Unfortunately, I'm preparing for something kind of huge and can't really take time away from it, but thank you," I finally said. I cringed on the inside. Was he asking me out on a date? Was that a lame excuse? Should I say yes? No, was I ready?

He nodded in understanding. "I completely understand."

He released my hand but continued to hold me with his warm gaze.

"Well, meeting you today was the highlight of my week. People like you are refreshing," he said.

A blush crept up my face and I hoped it at least wasn't visible.

"You're too kind," I replied and clung tightly to my backpack straps.

"Really," he reiterated. "I hope we meet again someday...when you're less busy."

My blush must have been bright red.

"It was great to meet you," I simply said, wanting to mentally slap myself. Why was I being so awkward suddenly?

He stood confidently, probably knowing how flustered I was.

"Who knows, maybe I'll see you at the Cape," he shrugged dramatically.

I laughed. "Maybe."

He began backing away with an expression that looked like he wanted to say more, but he wouldn't.

He gave a small wave and turned around to leave.

I pressed the crosswalk button quickly, letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

Did I just get asked out? By a business man no less?

I pressed my palms to my cheeks, unable to control the smile that was spreading.

I was nowhere close to being ready to date, but I couldn't believe that just happened.

In a weird way, it meant a lot someone even wanted to ask me out. It hasn't happened in a long time. Guys didn't really ask girls out anymore, not in person.

And to be honest, that was the first time I had spoken to a random guy like that since Jesse. It felt nice. Sometimes it felt nice to be wanted.

I sighed as Jesse's stupid face popped into my mind.

The crosswalk man popped up and I quickly walked across the street to head back to my car.

I needed to call Lissa and dissect every bit of that. She would be so proud.

Heck, I was proud. I had a normal conversation for the first time in a long time. A happy one. Small talk without anxiety.

I was beaming, practically skipping back to my car.

Today turned out to be much better than I expected.

When I got back to my apartment, I pushed open the door to the smell of baking.

"Brooke!" I called out. "You wouldn't believe—"

"Surprise!" People jumped out from behind the couch and counter.

"Oh shit," I squeaked, my hand flying to my heart.

"Happy birthday!" Brooke yelled.

I laughed and let my backpack drop to the ground as she and Brayden walked over to me.

"Guys," I said as they hugged me. "You know I hate surprises."

"Yeah well, we love them," Brooke beamed and held up a cupcake for me with one pink candle.

I smiled. "Thank you, really."

I stared at the people from our classes and then blew out the candle.

Yeah, today definitely turned out much better than my past two birthdays.

It was a step in the right direction. Here's to 22.

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