"Hey, there's someone here to see you," Jared said, his eyebrows raised with his head popped into my room.

I sighed. "I don't want to see Jesse yet."

"It's not Jesse."

"Well, it's not Lissa or Demi because they would be in here," I said, suspicious. Like a lightbulb, my eyes widened.

"Adam?" I whispered.

He nodded. "So, wait, are you two a thing?"

"No!" I said instantly. "You can let him up."

Jared stared at me for a few seconds before shaking his head and jogging back down.

Heavy footsteps began ascending the stairs and before I knew it, Adam Hawkins was in my bedroom and he was enjoying taking in the view.

"You have a bean bag chair."

"That isn't a question," I smirked.

"I didn't intend for it to be," he laughed and chose the bean bag chair as his throne.

It was incredibly surreal seeing the rockstar himself in my bedroom. In fact, I was growing weary of anything even remotely embarrassing that may be visible. His large frame seemed to overpower the bean bag chair so he rest his arms on his knees as best as he could.

"I'm not even going to ask," he started.

"Thank you," I replied.

"But I saw Jesse at the bar just a few minutes ago and he looks like hell," he watched me.

"You said you weren't going to ask," I frowned.

"I didn't," he shrugged.

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of the fresh tea Jared had made me earlier after finishing the song.

"Things are a little...weird between us," I admitted.

"Is that why you..."

"Look like shit?" I laughed and he held his hands up in surrender. "No, well, maybe part of it, but no."

We sat in silence.

"He's going to be pissed if he finds out you're here," I murmured, staring down at the floor.

"Well, you care that he's pissed so that's a step," he chuckled.

I laughed lightly. "Yeah, well, he's been real weird about you lately."

"Can you blame him?" Adam leaned back, momentarily distracted by a few white balls blowing out of the chair. "I mean, just when you start to show him any sign of romantic emotion, this random guy comes around and he's kind of well known."

I pursed my lips, doubtful.

"No, really, if the roles were reversed, I'd be intimidated as hell."

"How humble," I teased him.

He laughed, a deep rumble, and for a second I admired his genuine smile. He really was one of the hottest guys I had ever seen.

"I think his ex is back in his life," I quickly spilled.

This halted Adam, making him sit back up.

"I doubt that, No Name," he said earnestly.

"I saw the email, they set up a date in Florida next week."

He was silent, clearly in thought, but he finally shook his head.

"If that's true, he'll regret that the rest of his life," he said softly, his eyes holding mine hostage.

I swallowed, uncomfortable with the way he made me feel when he stared at me like that.

Adam cleared his throat and sat back again. "I wanted to tell you something."

I waited for him, thankful for the subject change.

"My contract is being terminated with Dark's Light, I'm going solo," he smiled in a way that made him look like he was still surprised to be saying it.

My jaw dropped. "That's amazing!"

"I came here to thank you, actually."

"Thank me?" I set my tea down and leaned forward, confused.

"Yeah, honestly, if it wasn't for meeting you, I never would have considered it."

He smiled up at me, his blue eyes piercing me. I blinked, feeling so shocked that I would have anything to do with any part of his life, let alone his career.

"So, when are you done?" I asked, tugging at my blanket.

He shrugged. "The contract ends in January. It'll take some time to plan a new career," he laughed.

"Wow," I said, still shocked to hear that Adam Hawkins would soon be a household name and not because of the famous band he was in. He was going to be the star himself.

"Is it weird?" I asked.

He nodded. "Very, I've never done anything by myself."

"Well, you're going to be successful obviously."

"Or I could flop." He held his hands up.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back with a grin. "Nah, you're going to take over the top 40."

He cringed. "No, if I'm doing this on my own, I'm not going to be singing the same stuff." He glanced down at his vans and a smile tugged at his lips. "I just want to be real for once."

"The world doesn't deserve the real Adam," I said softly.

"You called me Adam."

"I always call you Adam." I narrowed my eyes, wondering what he mean. He played with the white balls on the ground and smiled a crooked smile.

"Not like that," his head shook. "You said it like I was just Adam, not Hawkins."

I understood what he meant. Admittedly, it was difficult to look at him and not see the rockstar America has grown to love. He was Adam Hawkins at the end of the day, but I knew he wanted to be just Adam.

"What a day," I finally sighed.

He pursed his lips and watched me, aware of how uncomfortable I was becoming under his heavy gaze.

"Something happened," he said cautiously.

"I had a bit of a break down today."

He smiled, titling his head to the side as he stared at me. "The emotional detox, I know it well."

"Emotional detox?" I laughed. "What is that?"

He shrugged and crossed a calf over his knee, holding his ankle. "Where you finally let everything out, sucks huh?"

For a moment, I was silent as I watched him. It was strange how being in the presence of another person who also lost someone they loved could make the world feel right again. Of course he would know what it felt like, I'm sure he had his own version of a breakdown over his little sister.

"Yeah," I chewed my lip. "That's one way to say it."

"Well, do you want to maybe get out of the house? Sun might be good for you, No Name," he smirked.

I laughed, but shook my head. "No way, let me wallow."

Together we laughed. He pushed himself out of the bean bag chair and came over to me, his hand held out. After a second of hesitation, I took it. It's warmth making me take in a deep breath and release upon seeing his empathetic smile.

"You made it," he murmured. Again, I knew what he meant. We spoke the same language, the one that described what life after death meant.

His hand tightened. "Want me to stay? Or do you think you should go find the person you're actually wanting?"

I met his ice blue eyes and on the inside, I winced. It was difficult to know Adam knew I would always choose Jesse, even if I didn't necessarily want to. I mean, here was this incredible guy right in front of me and I was still thinking about Jesse. My mind deserved a firm talking to about  its choice in men.

"He's pretty mad at me."

Adam shook his head. "I saw him, that's not what mad looks like, I promise you that."

I looked away and sighed. "Sometimes I think we're too messy for each other."

"I wish that were the truth." He pulled his hand out of my grip and crossed his arms.

I looked up, surprised by his reply. He winked. "Alice, you know I'll always hold out hope for just one date with you, but I don't hold a candle to your annoying best friend."

My breath hitched because regardless of what I felt for Jesse, one of the most famous musicians just told me he would always have hope for a chance with me. That does something to a girl's heart.

Swallowing, I looked away.

"Not to make you feel uncomfortable or anything," he chuckled. Shaking my head, I looked up at the ceiling for a second. I would be the one in this situation.

"Talk to him," Adam reiterated. "I really doubt you have anything to worry about."

I was doubtful, but I knew he was right. I needed to talk to Jesse.

Soon, both Adam and I were headed downstairs. I found Jared on the couch watching TV, but he jolted upward when he saw the two of us moving toward him.

"Hey, do you know where Jesse is?"

Jared narrowed his eyes at Adam, but nodded.

"The surfers are having a bonfire down at —"

"I know the place," I nodded. I turned to Adam. "Do you mind?"

He smiled. "Let's go."

When we turned on to the dirt road I could hear the music and see the light down on the beach. Suddenly, this idea wasn't sounding very good.

"Maybe we should turn back."

"No, no, you need to do this," he said. When we came closer to the beach he pulled off to the side.

"What are you—"

"Probably best he doesn't see me with you," he put the car in park and looked at me. "Don't you think?"

Taking a deep breath, I nodded. I opened the door and gave Adam a grimace as I shut the door.

He quickly drove off as I climbed the sand dunes and to the bonfire on the other side.

I grew nervous as the group of guys spotted me, elbowing each other as I walked closer.

"Is that Dessen's sister?"

"Hey Alice!"

As if in slow motion, I saw Jesse on the other side of the bonfire. He turned when he heard my name and the feeling that flooded me as his eyes met mine was undeniable.

I wasn't sure how I kept my feet moving, but I made my way through the whispering guys and to him.

"Yo J, she here for you?"

Someone whistled and I watched him shove the guy away.

"Shut up man," he grumbled.

I swallowed as my eyes raked over him. His eyes were hard.

"I see you're ready to talk."

"No."

An eyebrow raised and he crossed his arms.

I closed the gap between us, tangling on hand in his hair and crashed my lips to his.

"Oh shit!"

"Oooo, J man landed the Dessen!"

Jesse was shocked, nearly falling back, but he grabbed at my waist and held me.

When I pulled back, his eyes were wide.

"Alice, what are you—"

"Oh," a voice sounded from behind me. A high voice.

The guys fell silent as I turned around in Jesse's arms to find the one and only Lauren.

"Al—"

"Lauren," I pushed out of his arms.

"I didn't realize you two were a thing now," she coughed and stood awkwardly between two other guys across from us.

"Yeah, it's new," I replied, my voice stern.

I felt Jesse's hand wrap around mine, but I ripped out of his grip and shot him a look.

"I came here to apologize, maybe I shouldn't," I whispered to him.

"Al, she's not here for me," he said, his eyes looking almost scared. Good.

"You don't get it, do you?" I whispered back.

She cleared her throat. "Umm, Jesse, I'll just talk to you in Florida." She was backing away as I turned back to him, glaring.

"Alice, listen, it's not what you—"

"Think, yeah it never is, is it?" I turned around to walk away.

"It's alright, she can't be pissed man. I saw that dude at her house earlier."

I froze. I knew that voice, it was Paul from next door.

"Really," Jesse huffed.

I crossed my arms. "You know there is nothing between us."

"So do you," he relied.

"No way, she likes you and you know it," I whispered, tapping his chest with my finger.

"And you know he likes you."

I laughed. "Oh my god, this is so childish."

"You're the one who came out here to confront me."

"I kissed you!" Everyone around us froze. Immediately, I wanted to crawl into a hole. Not only did I hate confrontation, but I hated attention.

Shaking my head, I turned on my heel and stormed away. I knew he wouldn't be far from behind me.

"Hey," he called. "Hey!"

His hand gripped my arm as he turned me around to face him.

"Why the hell is it that the rockstar can talk to you, but I can't? Huh?"

"Oh Jesse, come on," I placed a hand on my forehead, disbelief flooding me.

"I'm supposed to be the one you come to, Al, I'm the one who is always there, why —"

"Exactly." I interrupted him. "Have you ever thought that maybe it's easier talking to strangers sometimes?"

"You call him a stranger?" He stepped away from me.

"Admit it, you like him," he demanded.

My jaw dropped. What was happening? Why was this happening to us? This wasn't us.

"This isn't us," I shook my head sadly.

"There is no us Al."

I blinked, stepping back. "What?"

"What? We're just friends, right?"

"Is this what you do with friends?" I spit. "So when you say you and Lauren are just friends, is this what you mean?"

"Is it what you mean when you randomly make out with Adam Hawkins?"

My heart sank. He knew about that night. No wonder he was acting so weird about Adam.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I was told about it a couple of days ago so imagine my surprise when he's over at your house today. Imagine how it feels to hear that you stayed at his place last night."

"I was with Lissa and Demi," I sighed.

A part of me knew how it looked and understood why he would feel this way, but there was something else wrong.

"We should have never done this," I whispered.

"What?"

"You heard me, we ruined us."

He stared at me, his messy hair not tied back so the wind was blowing it into his face.

"So this is it?" He asked quietly, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

I shrugged. "I'm sure Lauren will be happy."

His jaw clenched before he laughed a harsh laugh. "So will the rockstar."

It felt like I was just slapped. Not necessarily the comment about Adam, but his lack of response toward Lauren. He didn't deny it.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"Nothing, if you want to be one of the girls he sleeps with, fine."

Tears threatened to spill over as I stared at the guy I always wanted. Who was he? This wasn't Jesse Vanderlin. What happened in the past few days for him to turn into this, this...asshole.

"Don't come crying to me when he treats you like the other sluts he gets with," he said and turned around, leaving me in the dark, alone.

I watched the boy I always liked walk away, heartbroken and very confused. I had no idea what he was talking about and I had no idea why he would even think about that.

Something wet hit my hand and I realized that I was crying. Great, could today be anymore emotional.

I swiped at the tears on my cheeks and sniffed, digging my phone out of my back pocket. I couldn't call Jared, I wouldn't put him in the middle of this and Adam would just add fuel to the fire.

So, I pressed Lissa's number and waited.

"Dude, I'm so hungover," she answered.

"Lissa," I choked.

"What happened?"

"Will you come pick me up from the surfer's bonfire? I'm just up the beach, near the ridge."

"I'm on my way."

She ended the call and I collapsed into the sand. I had cried enough today and found myself simply staring at the crabs crawling around, feeling utterly lost.

When she got there, I jogged up the steps and got into her Jeep.

"What did he do?" She asked quietly as she stared at the fire down below.

I was staring too when I answered. "I think he just ended this, whatever this was."

"Fucker," she murmured under her breath. "I saw Lauren's same stupid Jetta, was it her? I'll kick her ass after his."

I shook my head. "I don't know what happened. Honestly, I don't even know who that was because it wasn't Jesse."

Lissa rest her hand on mine for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, let's go to my place."

I nodded. As we were driving, I got a text message.

"It's from him," I murmured, too afraid to open it.

"Maybe he's realizing he was a dick," Lissa bitterly grumbled as she turned too fast around a corner.

Taking a deep breath, I opened it.

My breath hitched.

"What?" Lissa asked.

"He said 'don't bother coming to the shack anymore, everything is taken care of. Thank you for your help this summer.'"

"Thank you for your help? Thank you for your help?!" Lissa squeezed the steering wheel. "What the hell crawled up his ass? Oh, I can't wait for tomorrow, going to rip every last one of those stupid bikinis off of their hangers, knock the surf boards off the wall, kick his ass..."

Her grumbling turned incoherent after a few minutes of threats so I stopped listening.

I stared out the window, my heart feeling numb, lost.

So much for the best summer before adulthood.