Let me be frank, I'm a nice person, or at least I'd like to think I am and I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. You can call me anything you'd like, yell at me, shoot me bitchy smirks and play games with me, but if you bring up my dead father...I will slap a hoe.

Or in this case, punch a hoe.

She walked over to us, Adam shifting in front of me, but I clumsily shoved him out of the way. He sent me a concerned look before she laughed.

"We have been waiting for this moment," she said, a smirk perfectly etched onto her injection filled lips. Her heels clicked against the concrete stained floor as she came closer and closer until she was just a few inches in front of me, staring down. "Hang out with the town whore long enough, you'll become her, but even worse?"

She stared at her nails suddenly, a smile growing before she glanced back at me. "Daddy croaked and you've become a total cliche," she pursed her lips as she leaned down. Adam moved his hand to separate us, but I slapped it away. "He's good huh? I bet it's your first time without a condom, I bet it was your first time period."

She laughed as she leaned up. "How sad, the goodie-two-shoes got some daddy issues. The golden siblings of the Cape have finally taken their fall...together."

I had a second, one second in which I considered the repercussions for the actions about to follow the anger that had exploded inside of me, but the second soon passed and my fist was soon connecting with her perfectly sculpted nose.

"You bitch!" she screamed, her hand covering her nose, blood seeping through. I drew my right hand back into my chest.

"Ow, shit," I grumbled, cradling it.

"Fuck, Alice, you--" he stepped in front of me blocking me from Olivia who was running at me. "Fuck off!" he yelled at her, turning back to me. "Are you okay? Let me see."

"I need to go home," I said, unable to comprehend what I just did, the alcohol definitely not affecting me anymore. "I'm going home."

I moved around him, not giving Olivia a parting glance as she leaned against the bar, her head back.

"Alice!" Adam grabbed me. "Hold on, let me get my keys," he began to turn, but I stopped him.

"Just let me leave Adam, I'll talk to you tomorrow," I said, exhausted.

He stared at me a moment before releasing my shoulder and nodding.

"I'll see you soon No Name," he gave me a soft smile, attempting to lift the mood, but failed miserably. Just as I was turning I saw the murderous look cross his face while he stalked toward Olivia. I scoffed, unable to believe I just sank to her level.

Making my way to the beach, I began the long walk down the stretch of sand that would eventually meet my house. My hand was tingling from the pain, but I soon forgot as the sound of the waves distracted me. I shifted to the left so my feet were met by the lapping waves.

I stared off into the water, resting on the moon's reflection.

"Well, at least I can say I played and kissed a rockstar right? Who cares if a girl might press charges or something? No big deal..." I trailed off, not realizing I had stopped and was just staring at nothing, my arms crossed to help keep me warm.

What a summer. I've successfully had the most dramatic summer of my life, not counting our first summer here where Dad had to talk me out of my "early life crisis."

Sighing, I gave into the emotions taking over and took a seat in the sand, reflecting on what was supposed to be a fun last summer before adulting began. My life has become a mess, possibly even messier than before and I wasn't sure how to fix it.

I'm getting music back, my brother is becoming my brother again, but my Mom is moving on, leaving my father's memory behind. I had a one-in-a-million moment where I ran into a rockstar and became friends with him. I even kind of fell for him and had the most amazing first kiss with this guy.

My fingertips inadvertently touched my lips, running across them slowly.

It was amazing.

But.

There's that sneaky word, but. I'm not sure what the but is yet, but I feel it. Something was off about the amazing moment. Maybe I imagined it for so long that it couldn't possibly meet my expectations. Maybe I was expecting his fame to make literal fireworks happen. Regardless, something wasn't right about it.

The one good thing about this summer was I played again and I'm not sure who I owe more for this feat; Jesse, Jared or Adam. Maybe all three of them. It takes a village right?

Jesse.

The biggest change of all, the annoying pest who always seemed to be buzzing around. The annoyance that wasn't so annoying anymore, in fact, I've grown quite fond of the annoying pranks, not that I would ever admit that. His laughter was contagious and his attempts to annoy me really only made me smile. I had a sneaky suspicion he knew that, which made Jesse even more mind boggling. Who was Jesse Vanderlin?

Who is Alice Dessen anymore?

And just like that, it was the summer of 2010 again.

"What are you doing all the way out here?" Dad's voice traveled from behind me.

I let out a long and deep breath before turning to watch him as he made his way through the sand to plop down next to me.

He let out a long, low whistle. "He sure made you mad didn't he?" He laughed, nudging me slightly.

"I've never seen anyone get a reaction out of you like that," he laughed again, resting his tan arms on his legs.

I glanced up at my dad and admired the way his blonde hair seemed to always be perfect. It made him look 20 years younger than he actually was. Then again, that was just dad. His looks, his personality, his skills, everything about him made him seem both young and perfect.

"Dad," I began. His blue eyes left the ocean and met my own eyes, patiently waiting. "How do you know who you're supposed to be?"

"I'm confused," he began, stretching out his legs and leaning back on his hands. "You already do."

I gave him a questioning look, which he met with a smile.

"You're you. You're already who you're supposed to be," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No," I shook my head. "Like, what am I supposed to do with my life?"

His head tilted to the side as he watched me. "Hmm," he sighed and looked off into the water. "Well I'll tell you when I know the answer, how about that?"

I grimaced. "Thanks for nothing."

He chuckled, leaning up again to better face me. He grabbed my right hand and pat it gently before turning it over and pouring sand into my palm.

"Life isn't meant to be so complicated Alice," he let the sand fall out of my palm slowly as I turned it over. "Sand is sand, water is water," he looked away and smiled out at the sunset.

"But you know, some sand is put in a bag to hold things down, sometimes its for decoration and sometimes its under our very toes. Some water is in bottles for us to drink, some for us to get clean and some to carry us to shore on a board," he explained and shrugged with a smirk.

"Water may be water, but it serves more than one purpose. You're human and while humans may just be humans, they all serve a purpose. So I think you just have to ask yourself what you love to do," he said and sighed.

"I'm not very good at what I love to do," I finally said.

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, evaluating me for a moment.

"You know bud, I've found that the best, most talented people, often think that very thing," he smiled down at me.

"It's crazy," I breathed, allowing my dream to manifest itself for just a moment. A songwriter, not a performer, but a songwriter. A career that few people make it in.

"Good," Dad whispered. I met his soft eyes, surprised because mom has always been apprehensive, wanting me to find something secure someday.

"What's a dream worth if it doesn't feel too far to reach?" he asked.

"What's a dream worth if it doesn't feel too far to reach?" I whispered, letting out a deep sigh, realizing I was about to graduate with a degree I didn't even necessarily care about.

"Nothing," a voice said from behind. Startled, I turned around to find Jesse holding his shoes in his hand, his hip cocked in a relaxed stance, appearing to have been watching me.

"So why the hell are you in marketing when you wanted nothing more than to be a songwriter?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?" I replied, avoiding his question. He walked over to me and took a seat in the sand, dropping his shoes in front of us.

"Probably the same thing as you," he murmured.

"You punched Olivia Wright too?"

His head jerked to face me and his expression was priceless.

"Please tell me that's true, oh I'll love you forever if you actually did that," he laughed.

I scoffed. "You already love me."

He shoved me a little. "Oh shit, your hand. You're not kidding," he said in awe as he grinned at me.

"Okay, so no I didn't quite do that," he admitted, still laughing a little at the fact. "You know, your dad told me that exact line when I came home from college once."

I glanced at him, surprised. "You talked to my dad?"

His head rolled to the side to give me a look that asked are you serious. "I talked to your dad a lot, he helped me through the whole...you know...accident."

I nodded in response, remaining quiet as the weight of missing my dad began to set in.

"I'm sorry for earlier, I took it too far," he murmured.

"I'm sorry too, I'm not sure why anything with you surprises me anymore," I said.

"Ouch Dess, ouch."

I looked at him. "Not in a bad way," I quickly added. "But somehow you still manage to."

He stared at me, a small smile forming. "Glad I can keep you on your toes."

"Something like that," I whispered.

Jesse let out a deep sigh and laid back in the sand. We sat there in silence, staring with our own respective thoughts running through our minds. After a few minutes, I laid back next to him.

"Your dad was right about something," he broke the silence.

"What's that?" I mumbled, staring up at the bright stars.

"It has always been so easy to make you mad," he laughed.

I slapped him lightly. "You guys talked about me?" I asked, surprised.

He laughed. "Only twice, the first time was the day I pissed you off and sparked the whole 'what am I doing with my life' talk with him."

I rolled my eyes, which he couldn't see thankfully.

"And the second?" I whispered slowly.

"Theres something about making you mad that makes you smile," he answered, turning his head slightly to watch me. I faced him and let a slow smile form.

Laughing slightly, I let out a deep breath. "I miss him."

"I know you do," he replied. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them up to meet my gaze. It was hard not to watch Jesse when he was being vulnerable. It was a rare moment, something I always loved getting to witness.

"I miss Alice," he finally murmured, his eyes searching mine.

I swallowed and glanced down. "It seems a lot of people do," I murmured, feeling sad by the fact.

"No," he responded, making me glance back up at him. He had a soft smile resting on his lips as his hand pressed to his chest twice. "I miss Alice."

"I'm still here," I whispered.

He nodded. "Yeah you are, so don't let people act like you aren't."

"I actually like marketing you know," I defended after a moment of silence, crossing my arms. He smiled and pursed his lips, nodding his head, but clearly apprehensive.

"I do!" I affirmed.

He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Tell me one thing you love about it," he challenged.

"I love helping someone reach an audience," I huffed, shifting to be on my side in order to face him completely.

"Exactly," he smiled, rolling his head to the side to watch me, his hair shifting back so it was out of his eyes. I stared at him, his cocky smirk and his wavy hair. His signature hazel eyes met mine, knowing he was right.

"It's the same thing," I attempted to point out, but he just smiled even bigger.

"Sure," he said

"You're not actually funny," I grumbled.

He gasped and his hand reached for his chest. "I'm hurt."

I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Can you just be supportive?" I huffed.

"You know I'm supportive," he shot back, laughing still.

"Of crazy things!"

"Because those crazy things are what you love!" he playfully pushed me, smiling. "Why would I support a life behind a desk? Yuck."

I let out a sigh and shook my head. "You're so much like my dad."

"I'll take that as compliment Baby Dess," he crossed his arms in satisfaction.

"I can't believe it's only a few more weeks of summer," I sighed, letting him win that argument.

He raised an eyebrow, clearly shocked I didn't have a snarky comeback, but he let it go as well.

"Ready to graduate?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Well, yes and no."

"Hmm...sounds like you should focus more on writing songs instead of boring campaign plans," he grinned.

"Whatever," I whispered, but it shifted something inside my heart. A glimmer of hope made itself known and I'm not sure if I was ready for it. I wasn't ready to feel passionate about something again. What if it got taken away? What if I'm not good at writing anymore? What if my style wasn't what the world wants?

"Get out of your head, you look insane," Jesse cut through my thoughts.

I shot him a look, "Rude."

"I can't be seen with someone who is clearly having a conversation with herself in her head. Too weird," he raised his eyebrows, moving his arms behind his head.

"You're weird," I murmured.

He laughed, glancing at me. "That's all you got? You're going soft on me."

"I'm feeling exposed," I shrugged.

He laughed again. "I like it."

"Don't get used to it," I quickly said.

He moved to look at me, his eyes searching mine. "Trust me, time with you isn't something a person ever gets used to."