a / n : 

hi! i've seen you guys discussing a lot about dexter and hadley in the comments and i just wanted to ask you guys to please try to keep an open mind. i am aware that hadley's really the one who complicates stuff, but dexter isn't perfect either. both dexter and hadley are flawed and that's why i'm writing this in both their perspectives.

also, feel free to hit me up a question on my ask.fm (link on my profile) if you want to discuss them or their choices in detail with me. i'd always answer unless i'm giving away a spoiler.

* * * * *

T E N

SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL right.

Hadley refuses to acknowledge this thought, but it sits there at the back of her mind like a blinking neon sign, drawing her attention away from all her other thoughts. It's been sitting there ever since the night Dexter dropped by for a visit only to leave without getting a chance for them to talk.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't thrilled to see Dexter when he showed up at her house without warning. It was reassuring, considering how they'd barely spoken with each other ever since he and Andy started going out, and she was disappointed when he said he had to leave almost as soon as he arrived.

Truth be told, however, she was also relieved to see him go.

Their mini accident on the stairs left her feeling flustered. She doesn't know if it's just her, but she feels as though they'd shared a weird moment back there, him unintentionally pinning her down and her looking up at him, trying and failing to keep her breathing even.

The moment was over in less than ten seconds, but it kept playing in her mind, over and over like a song stuck on repeat; a song she couldn't quite get out of her head.

This alone doesn't worry her.

What really worries her is the fact that things between them have been weird as of late.

It's been a week since Dexter's visit, and they'd just successfully delivered the candies in time for the wedding on Sunday. The shop's slowly easing back to its normal routine. Tourists come and go, the regulars dropping by whenever they expect them to. Hadley's parents no longer need that much help in the kitchen.

This means that Hadley's back to helping Dexter man the counter and monitor the shop. It's something she's been looking forward to just a few days ago, but now it only makes her feel skittish.

Dexter's been acting the same—with his teasing jokes and witty retorts—but there's something off about their interactions. He rarely looks her in the eye. His voice sounds too chip, his laughter too loud. It's like he's trying too hard, too much—to the point that she's beginning to feel like there's a distance to their closeness that he's trying to cover up.

It doesn't help that he keeps running off to meet Andy every day after work. She tries her best not to take it personally, but Hadley can't help but feel like he's avoiding her. She wouldn't even be surprised if he were, considering the way he's been acting around her lately.

One thing's for sure though: Hadley doesn't like guessing games, and this one's confusing her so much it's taking up all the space in her head.

"O, anong problema?"

Hadley looks up to see her mom walk out the kitchen with a stack of boxes in her hand. She heads to the chocolate aisle to restock the shelf of truffles before they open up for the day.

"What makes you think something's wrong?" she asks her mom.

"You're biting your nails."

Hadley immediately drops her hand, well aware that she's been chewing on her thumbnail for a while now.

"So?" Her mom gives her an expectant look. "Is everything all right?"

"Of course," Hadley replies without missing a beat. "I was just thinking about college. You know. My last summer and all that."

A look of understanding passes over her mother's face. She pauses for a moment, eyes softening as she regards Hadley with a smile. "You should take the day off."

Hadley straightens up and stares at her mother in surprise. "What?"

"Take the day off," she says.

Before Hadley can come up with a proper response, the door opens, and in comes Dexter.

"Morning, Tita," he greets her mom with a bright smile. Hadley doesn't miss the way it falters, just slightly, when he lifts his eyes to Hadley. "Hey."

"Oh, good," her mom says. "I was just telling Hadley she can take the day off. You should, too, Dex. You guys deserve it. We might have worked you too hard with the wedding order."

Hadley would have been thrilled to hear this news, but she stops and carefully watches Dexter. Normally, he would have turned to Hadley with a grin that would make you think he'd just won a million dollars, listing off a bunch of things they could do to spend the day instead.

But he doesn't. He just stands there, the smile on his face frozen, like he doesn't quite know how to react, and it's this that finally confirms it: Something's not right—and Dexter knows it.

"I can stay and work," Hadley blurts out, ignoring the dull ache in the pit of her stomach. "Dexter can take his day off today and I could get mine tomorrow."

She keeps her eyes on her mother's, but she doesn't miss the way Dexter's snaps to hers.

"That way," she continues, struggling to keep her voice steady, "you won't lose us both the same day."

The smile on his face is gone now and is quickly replaced by shock. He stares at her for a moment and Hadley looks down, keeping her eyes trained on the counter. She can feel him staring; can hear the unspoken question hanging between them.

She pretends she doesn't notice.

"Are you sure?" her mom asks her, a tinge of uncertainty lacing each word. When Hadley looks up at her, she sees the curiosity in the older woman's face. "I thought you'd like to spend your day off together."

"It's fine," Hadley says and forces a smile. "I'm not in the mood to go out today, anyway."

"I can stay," Dexter offers, but his words seem watery. Shaky. "I don't have to—"

"It's fine," she cuts him off.

Her voice is too sharp, her tone too edged, and the silence that follows after is uncomfortable. It makes her ears burn, but she doesn't quite know what to say or do to get rid of the deafening silence surrounding them so she keeps her eyes low instead.

It's her mom who finally breaks the tension. "Okay, then," she says, starting out hesitant, but then she rattles off a couple instructions to Dexter, giving him a few simple errands he can run around town while he's out.

Hadley tunes them out and lets her gaze fall back on the textbook in front of her.

She reads a passage, but the words don't make sense.

Stubborn thoughts of the conversation keep crawling back into her head, the image of Dexter's frozen smile sticking itself up on the back of her eyelids. She couldn't shake it off, and she couldn't shake off the thought that has been running in her mind ever since she'd seen his reaction.

He didn't want to spend the day with her.

And that's why Hadley felt the need to intervene. He looked as though he was struggling to come up with the proper reaction; like he was this close to making up excuses, just so he wouldn't have to spend the day with her.

Hadley wasn't sure she could take that blow.

She stepped out of the ring before he could even take a swing.

* * * * *

It's chaos inside Dexter's head.

He feels as though a black hole had just appeared inside of it and it's draining all his thoughts away, distorting time and space and reason, forcing his mind to collapse in and of itself. It's only a matter of time until every rational thought is wrenched out of his grasp.

He's numb, and he doesn't know what to think of what had just happened back in the shop.

The past few days have been confusing for Dexter.

Things with Hadley haven't been so easy these days. It's like there's never enough air for both of them. He can keep trying to inhale, but it feels as though it's never going to be enough to fill his lungs.

Being around Hadley has been the single most exhausting thing in the world for him lately.

He's trying—he really is—not to let any of his thoughts affect their friendship. Not his thoughts about the night they had sex. Not his thoughts about her getting back together with Josh. Not his thoughts about the two of them two years ago, when everything was perfect, until one day, it wasn't.

Thoughts like these haven't infiltrated his mind for a long time now. At least not since he'd decided it was time to move on from her. But it's as though a Pandora's box had just opened deep in the recesses of his heart—the very heart that broke the moment Hadley decided they were over—and now there's nothing he can do to keep them at bay.

Every time he looks at Hadley, he feels like he's transported back to that swing set on that cold December morning; when his heartbeat trickled to a slow stop, and he had to decide if he should leave before further damage could ensue or stay and insist on keeping their world together.

It's a decision he's never regretted before and a question he hasn't asked himself in years.

Not until now.

These days, looking at Hadley makes the question resurface in his thoughts.

Should he leave and choose to protect himself for when she decides to leave, or should he stay and choose to preserve whatever magic's left of them, no matter what the cost, no matter how difficult it may be, because it's them—Dexter and Hadley, Hadley and Dexter—and they deserve better?

Dexter never thought he'd ever have trouble answering this question.

For now, though, he'd chosen to leave.

It's hardly a permanent departure; just a day off from Sweet Tooth—a day off from her—but it feels like a much-needed break.

That's how he knows this isn't something he can just gloss over. Something's wrong between them, but he doesn't want to think about this now. He wants to clear his head and not worry; to take this chance to breathe in lungfuls of air and forget about every destructive thought he's been having lately.

Maybe that's why he loves being with Andy.

Andy helps him forget. With her, there's no need for him to read between the lines; no need for him to decipher the code hidden behind every smile; no need for him to watch every step he takes just to make sure he doesn't set off a landmine.

With her, there's no complicated past to consider, or unforeseen future to worry about. With them, it's all about the now. He's just a boy and she's just a girl and they're just two people living each day of this summer in the company of each other.

He waits for her by the boardwalk, where the two of them agreed to meet for the day, Dexter calling her almost as soon as he stepped out of the shop, still struggling to come to terms with the fact that Hadley had just chosen to not spend the day with him. He wanted to push the thought away, and figured seeing Andy would do the trick.

He sits under the shade of a nearby wooden shack; and when she finally appears, cheeks flushed from the summer sun and lips pulled back in a wide smile, his thoughts immediately clear up.

"Hey," she says, running the last few steps between them. "Sorry, I'm late. Did you wait long?"

Dexter stands up. "No." He looks at her and offers a smile. "You're just in time."

And she really is, he thinks. She really is.

He holds out a hand for her to take. She hesitates at first, her eyes flicking between his face and his outstretched hand. He waits, knowing there are just some things that are worth the wait, and this moment proves to be one of those. Slowly, she reaches for his hand.

It's not fireworks. It's not electricity. It's not perfect, not really, but her hand is warm and comforting in his, and for now, he knows that this is exactly what he needs.

The slow smile she gives him reminds him of how simple some things can be.

This is what Hadley had taken away from him. This simplicity. This ease. The possibility that he could hold someone's hand and not have to worry about her pulling away every goddamn second. Things with Hadley were never simple, and now he finds himself craving this simplicity.

And maybe this is what worries him the most.

It's not just the fact that something's wrong between them.

It's the fact that he's beginning to wonder whether or not he and Hadley are still worth fixing this time.