73 - Keep You Next To Me

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After an idyllic evening eating, drinking, laughing and playing Scrabble, we woke up on Christmas morning to someone shouting "Ho ho ho!" at full volume on the landing outside Harry's room.

Harry groaned and pulled his pillow over his head, and then snaked one arm around my waist.

"Who's that?" I whispered.

He lifted his head an inch and opened one eye to look at me. "Father Christmas. Duh."

I giggled and pushed his shoulder as his face broke into a grin and he let his head flop back onto the mattress.

"It's Robin. He does it every year. He thinks it's hilarious."

I chuckled. "I think Robin would get on well with my dad."

Harry smiled at me. "Yes, I think he would too."

"Who wants a cooked breakfast?" Anne called up the stairs.

"Me!" Harry bellowed, so loud that I put my hands over my ears.

"Well come down here then, lazy bones!" she called back, and even from this distance I could hear the affection and amusement in her voice. 

He threw the covers off and leapt out of bed.

"I'm up, Mum, it's Jess who's refusing to budge!" he shouted, and I hurried to get out of bed, chasing him into the bathroom while he laughed in delight at my outrage.

"Why do you always try and make me look bad in front of your mum?" I moaned as he lifted the lid of the toilet, and I squeezed toothpaste onto my toothbrush.

"Because you get so flustered, it's hilarious!" he chuckled.

He flushed and came to stand next to me to wash his hands, and then grabbed his dressing gown from the hook on the back of the door and pulled it on over a pair of jogging bottoms. "Come on, slow coach. Or there won't be any breakfast left."

I pulled on a pair of pyjama bottoms and Harry's Jack Wills hoodie, and we made our way downstairs to the kitchen where Anne was carrying hot dishes of food to the table, wearing a pair of festive oven gloves that matched her green Christmas jumper and snowman earrings.

"Merry Christmas sweetheart," she beamed, embracing Harry and kissing him on the cheek, before turning to hug me too. "Come and sit down and have some breakfast, and then we'll do presents."

Harry began loading his plate with sausages, bacon, hash browns, egg, mushrooms and fried tomatoes, and just as he started to tuck in Gemma appeared in the kitchen doorway and frowned at him. 

"Oh good. I was hoping someone would get down here before me and eat all the food."

"Who woke up the Grinch?" Harry teased, and she poked her tongue out at him and sat down at the table opposite us. Robin poured us all tea from the pot and we spent a leisurely half-hour chatting and eating. 

"Can we do presents yet?" Harry whined, once Gemma had finished her last mouthful and set her knife and fork down on her plate. We helped Anne clear the dishes away, and then went into the lounge where Robin had already lit the fire. Harry went and sat by the Christmas tree and began sorting the presents into piles and passing them around. Immediately Gemma began ripping the wrapping off hers, and everyone followed suit. 

I opened a mug, a sparkly pen, a scented candle and a pair of fleece lined, polka dot wellies from Anne and Robin, and a beautiful makeup palette from Gemma. 

"I thought you could keep the wellies here, for when you visit," Anne explained, and I beamed at her and nodded enthusiastically.

I was keeping half an eye on Harry for when he got to the gifts from me, and he seemed to be doing the same to me. Eventually we only had each other's left to open, and we both laughed as we picked up a present each. Harry unwrapped his new hoodie as I opened a gorgeous new hat and scarf set that was possibly softer than anything I had ever felt in my life. 

I wrapped the scarf around my neck and pulled the hat on as he shrugged his dressing gown off and pulled his hoodie on, and then he grinned and leaned over to kiss me.

"Ugh, you two are just too disgustingly cute," Gemma grumbled good-naturedly.

The wooden cigar box went down very well, particularly the 'Styles' carving on the top. 

"Where did you find this?" Harry breathed, staring down at it in amazement.

"It was in the window of an antique shop in Mayfair," I explained. "It just caught my eye. I thought you could use it to keep your rings in, when you take them off at night, if you wanted."

"It's perfect," he said softly.

I opened a collection of hair products that had apparently been recommended by Lou Teasdale, a bottle of Chanel perfume, and eventually we got down to just one present each - Harry's watch, and a small-ish rectangular box for me. 

"You first," I said, and to my surprise he didn't argue, but began carefully pulling the wrapping paper off the watch box, his brow furrowed in confusion and his lips pressed together, until he saw the Cartier branding and then his eyes widened and he looked up at me with his mouth open.

"Jess," he began.

"Shh - just open it," I urged. 

He lifted the lid off the box and his jaw dropped even further as he saw the watch inside.

"Oh my God," he murmured, lifting it out with his fingers and inspecting it closely. "Baby, this must have cost an absolute fortune."

"Nah," I said shyly, but he looked at me seriously. 

"Jess," he said. "This is just incredible."

He scrambled to his knees from his position on the floor and walked a couple of steps on them over to me, and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I'm utterly speechless."

"Do you like it?" I asked nervously.

"Like it?" he echoed. "I love it. I can't believe you spent this much on me!"

"Yeah, well, you're worth it," I mumbled as he kissed me again and then walked on his knees to show his mum who looked impressed.

"Wow, Jess," she said softly. "You've certainly got good taste."

"Course she has," he said cheekily. "She's going out with me."

Gemma rolled her eyes at this, but looked closely at the watch and then smiled at me. "That's gorgeous," she said. She handed it back to Harry, who slipped the watch on his wrist and then extended his arm to admire it.

"Well, at least you won't be able to shout at me," Harry said, matter of factly, and then added, "Open yours," when I looked at him questioningly.

He came and perched on the sofa next to me as I began pulling the paper off the small package in my hand. It was a plain black box, made of thick, textured cardboard. I lifted the lid and saw a small black metal device that looked sort of like an old fashioned mp3 player. I was just about to ask what it was, when I caught sight of the BMW logo. My heart leapt into my throat as I looked up at Harry.

"Harry... what..?"

"Come with me," he said, grinning broadly and standing up from the sofa, holding his hand out to me expectantly. I got to my feet and he walked quickly through the lounge and into the hall, to the front door.

My heart was pounding. Surely he hadn't.... he wouldn't have spent this amount of money on me... would he?

He opened the door and gestured to the driveway, where a gleaming, black, 2015 BMW 2 Series was parked next to Robin's Range Rover.

I stared at it, my mouth open, frozen to the spot.

"Well? Press the key then!" Harry grinned.

With trembling fingers I fumbled with the little black car key and pressed one of the buttons. Immediately the car lights flashed briefly and the interior light came on.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

"Merry Christmas," he said softly.

"Harry," I protested weakly, as he pulled me over to it and steered me towards the driver's seat.

"You wanna take it for a spin?" he beamed.

"Is this really for me?" I asked, stupidly.

He rolled his eyes. "Who else would it be for? Of course it's for you."

"But..."

"You needed a new car didn't you? Well, now you've got one."

"But it's so expensive!" I spluttered, looking up into his beaming face.

He leaned a little closer to me still grinning. "In case you hadn't noticed, and without sounding like the most arrogant prick on earth, I'm sort of a bit rich. So if I want to splash out on my girlfriend, I will. It's taxed and insured, too."

"Oh my God," I breathed, as it began to sink in. "Thank you."

"Pleasure," he nodded. "So come on, put some proper shoes on and take me out in it. I want to see how it drives."

I flung my arms around him and buried my face in his neck, and he chuckled as he slid his arms around my back.

"I was worried for a minute that you weren't going to accept it," he confessed.

"I can't believe you bought me a car," I said, still in shock.

"Really?" he said. "I thought I was being really obvious. I was so sure you were onto me."

A One Direction air freshener was hanging in the car from the rearview mirror as I climbed into the driver's seat, and I raised my eyebrows at Harry.

"What?" he asked innocently, smirking. "I wanted an 'I heart Harry' one, but this was all I could find."

I laughed and started the engine as Harry fastened his seatbelt, and spent a couple of minutes fiddling with the controls, adjusting my seat and the mirrors, and playing with the heating, the interior panel backlight (I could choose the colour of the illumination) and the radio.

When I was finally ready, I put the car in gear and gingerly reversed a few feet to turn around in the driveway. Once we were on the road it took a few minutes to get used to the way the car handled, and I was more than cautious driving around the country roads, although they were deserted at half past nine on Christmas morning. 

"Do you like it?" Harry asked as I pulled into the driveway of a large farm out towards Swettenham to turn around. 

"It's amazing!" I enthused, coming to a stop and unbuckling my seatbelt. "Your turn - go on, you know you're dying to have a go."

He grinned at me, and we switched places so he could drive us back home. He was a lot more confident than I was, probably because he was used to driving flash cars, and knew these roads like the back of his hand. We arrived back at the house in no time, and Harry parked next to his own car and killed the engine.

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to drive it back to Cambridge on your own tomorrow morning, especially if you wanted to drink today," he said. "So the driver is still arranged for tomorrow, but you can cancel it if you do want to drive yourself."

"You really have thought of everything, haven't you," I mused, and he leaned over and kissed me.

"I just want to make you happy."

"You do," I said fervently. 

"Good," he grinned. "Now let's get back inside, before everyone starts wondering what we're up to."

~~~~

We spent the day in and out of the kitchen, helping Anne with the dinner and topping up our glasses. Harry had a purchased a wonderfully festive reindeer jumper that had a light-up, musical red nose that he insisted on playing at every opportunity, and of course we played the usual Christmas Day games: Charades, Monopoly and Scrabble.

I felt a bit melancholy as the evening set in, as we were all due to get up at the crack of dawn the following day so Harry and his family could leave for the airport and I could drive to Cambridge. I now wouldn't see him for a week and a half, and although I was looking forward to going skiing, I knew I would miss him terribly. 

About eight o'clock Harry disentangled himself from me and inclined his head slightly. "Come upstairs with me? I need to pack for tomorrow."

I reluctantly scraped myself off the sofa and followed him upstairs to his bedroom where he closed the door behind us and pulled his holdall out from under the bed. I perched on the edge of the mattress while he began folding clothes.

"Have you had a good day?" he asked without looking at me, and I lay back on the duvet and closed my eyes.

"Yeah, it's been amazing," I yawned. "Thanks for having me here to share it with you."

"Don't be silly," he said, and I felt the mattress dip as he lay back next to me across the bed. "Of course I wanted to share it with you. I couldn't imagine spending Christmas without you. Thanks for agreeing to come here to be with me. It means a lot that you did."

"Of course," I said softly, opening my eyes to look at him. He rolled over so he was lying on his side, his head propped up by his right hand. He reached forward with his left and ran his fingers through my hair, pulling a strand forward and wrapping it around his finger thoughtfully.

"I'm really going to miss you this week," he said, still not meeting my eyes. "I feel like any moment spent away from you is a waste. This past year has made me realise that I have so little time with my loved ones. And I want that to change."

I said nothing, but watched his face carefully. I wasn't sure where this was going, but I could tell from his quiet nervousness that it was something important.

"This meeting with Jeff and Irving is the beginning of the next chapter for me," he continued, twirling the same strand of my hair around two fingers now. "And the outcome of it will hopefully determine the next year or so of my future. I still want to do a film of some sort, before I think about releasing any solo material. But I don't want my work to take me away from you for months at a time."

"Harry I'm not going anywhere," I said softly. "I'm serious about you. I'm not going to forget about you while you're off making a success of yourself. I'll be right beside you, at every opportunity I can."

"And that would be difficult if I were living permanently in LA," he interjected.

I felt my stomach drop as I looked up at him. "You're moving to LA?" I repeated, trying to keep the dismay from my voice.

"What? No! That's exactly what I'm not doing," he said hastily. "I mean, I'll still be spending some time there, but I'm planning on looking for work that doesn't take me too far from London, so I can be closer to you."

My heart almost came to a complete stop.

"Harry," I breathed, and he smiled shyly at me.

"Don't tell me not to base my career around you," he said softly. "I'm in too deep for that. I need to be with you, Jess. And there will be plenty of paths available to me to keep me close to home."

I stared at him, my heart now pounding almost painfully.

"Harry," I began again. "I don't want to hold you back."

"You're not," he murmured. "Don't you see? You're the one who gives me the strength and inspiration to succeed. Without you close by I'm miserable. I want us to work so much, Jess. I'm still going to do what I planned, but there's no reason why the location can't be an influencing factor in what I audition for, and where I choose to go."

"I'm... speechless," I confessed. "Selfishly, I'm relieved you're not planning on being far away, but I also don't want to be the person that prevents you from fulfilling your full potential. You're going to be massive, Harry, with or without One Direction. You owe it to yourself to be the best you can be."

"And I will be, as long as I've got you," he whispered. 

"You've got me," I assured him. "Like I said, I'm not going anywhere."

He cleared his throat nervously. "Well, I kind of wanted to talk to you about that. I've sort of got you one more present..."

He rolled over and reached into the top drawer by his side of the bed as I sat up in confusion.

"Harry, you've already spent so much on me," I protested, but he turned back to me with another small box with a gold bow on it.

"I didn't want to give you this downstairs in front of everyone in case... well, in case it wasn't what you wanted," he said nervously. 

He handed me the box and licked his lips nervously, pressing them together and then running one hand through his hair.

"And there's no pressure or anything," he added, looking up at me expectantly. "Well come on, open it."

My hands were trembling as I lifted the lid of the box and looked inside. There were a couple of keys, a small remote and a black fob.

"What..?" I began, uncomprehendingly, and he cleared his throat again and spoke in a rush.

"It's a set of keys to my house. So you can come and go whenever you want. Although, I was kind of hoping..." his voice wavered and he cleared his throat for the third time. "I was kind of hoping that maybe you would come and not go. As in, maybe you would move in with me?"

My jaw almost dropped to the floor. "Seriously?" I squeaked.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I know it's a massive step, and it would be harder to keep things under wraps if you were living with me, but we'd talked about possibly going public in the new year, and I just -"

I cut him off by planting a kiss on his lips and pushing him back on the bed so I was half lying on top of him, and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back enthusiastically.

"Is that a yes?" he asked, grinning, as we broke apart.

"It's a once-we've-discussed-details-properly-when-you're-back-from-holiday, yes," I smiled, and he pulled me down on top of him again and pressed his lips hard onto mine.

"Thank Christ for that," he murmured into my mouth. "Do you know how long I've been stressing over this?"

I pulled away from him an inch to look at him in confusion.

"It's all I've been thinking about for weeks. I've been trying to work up to the right moment to ask."

"Oh Harry," I said softly, as his lips found mine again.

"I just miss you so much when I'm away," he said quietly, in between kisses. "I want you there waiting for me each time I come home. I want to make you breakfast in bed, cook you dinner, run you a bath, cuddle up with you on the sofa in the evenings..."

His hands were slipping slowly up my sides underneath my top, stroking my skin delicately, raising goosebumps as they went.

"I want that too," I whispered, as his fingertips brushed the outside cups of my bra. "I want to cook you dinner when you've been away eating hotel food for weeks. I want you to come home to me."

"I love you," he breathed, lifting my top over my head and bringing my face down to his to kiss me urgently, his tongue sliding into my mouth and his fingers threading through my hair.

"I love you too...."

It seemed as though we were moving from strength to strength, and finally leaving our struggles behind us. I knew that a relationship in the spotlight was never going to be easy, but I just had this feeling that if we took things slowly and carefully, and were on the same page, that we could make it through anything.

~~~~

I decided I wouldn't drink anything else that evening, so I would be fine to drive my new car to my parents' house in the morning. Harry's family were overjoyed at our news, and Anne in particular seemed extremely supportive of this next step in our relationship. Harry finished packing his bag and we helped Anne tidy the kitchen up before bed, and when the alarm sounded the following morning I wanted to cry at the idea of leaving this cosy home, and the warmth of Harry's embrace.

I repeatedly asked myself if I was doing the right thing in choosing to go away with Callie and our friends rather than Harry, but kept coming to the same conclusion: she had asked me first, and it was booked and paid for before I even knew about Harry's invitation.

I tried not to let my emotion show as we kissed goodbye on Boxing Day morning, while Anne and Robin waited patiently in the car that would

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