I was like a cat on hot bricks the following day, waiting for Karen to call. The more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became about the whole conversation the previous day: from the way she had approached me, pretending she cared about my feelings, to the fact she hadn't even told Harry she was going to contact me. The whole thing disgusted me, and I couldn't wait to tell her so, and put her firmly in her place. 

A little voice at the back of my mind kept trying to suggest I was using Karen as an outlet for my unresolved anger towards Harry for the way he had behaved, but I wouldn't let it speak, and instead channelled my thoughts into the pending confrontation.

I picked up my bag at lunchtime and had barely made it to the door when my phone began to ring.

"Hello, Karen," I said curtly, stopping in Reception and sitting down on one of the chairs.

"Hi, Jess," she said brightly. "How are you doing today?"

"Fine," I answered shortly.

"Good," she breezed. "I was just wondering if you'd had chance to think about what we discussed yesterday?"

"Yes, I have," I said confidently.

"And...?" She let the question hang.

"I haven't changed my mind. I'm not doing it. And quite frankly, I'm disgusted you had the audacity even to suggest it."

Karen sighed. "I had a feeling you were going to say that."

"There is no way I am letting the public think I am having anything to do with that lying, cheating piece of scum," I began. "I couldn't care less what other people think of him! And if he was so bothered about his own image, he wouldn't have done what he did! But that's his problem isn't it - he doesn't ever have to face consequences, because you and everyone else around him continually wipe his ąrse for him. He doesn't live in the real world, so it's no wonder he thinks he can do what he likes, without a thought for the people he loves! Or doesn't love, in my case. Well let me tell you, I am not playing your game. I never intended to get involved this deep, and how I wish I could go back in time and erase the last few months. I wouldn't have gone near him if I'd known it would end like this! So you can just tell him to find someone else to be his pretend girlfriend, because I am NOT INTERESTED!"

My chest was heaving, my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking. Thankfully, though, my voice remained steady.

"He does love you, Jess," Karen said softly.

"No he doesn't," I snapped, my voice wobbling. Damn, I'd been doing so well. "He told me in no uncertain terms that he'd got it wrong. So don't try and spin me some shıte just to make me feel sorry for him."

"I'm not," she said. "I wouldn't do that."

"Yes you would!" I laughed shortly. "You'd do anything to protect the boys."

"Well.... yes OK, maybe I would. But I'm not lying to you about this. Whatever happened, I know he loves you. And he's hurting."

As soon as I heard those last three words, the tears that had been brimming in my eyes since she first told me Harry loved me spilled down my cheeks.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered miserably.

"I'm trying to make this easier on Harry," she said gently. "Whether you believe this or not, he was deeply affected by Zayn leaving. It rocked his whole world, and made him question everything. And the last couple of weeks have made him worry even more about what the future holds for him."

"What do you mean, the last couple of weeks?" I asked.

"There's just been some... unsettlement in the band lately," she said carefully.

"You mean between Harry and Louis?" I pressed, my heart thudding. Was she about to tell me this big secret that had been bubbling away beneath the surface since Cardiff?

"You know about that?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah, Harry told me," I replied. This wasn't an outright lie - he had admitted there had been some tension; he just hadn't told me what it was.

"What exactly did he tell you?"

"Just the basics," I said, trying to sound confident in a bid to get Karen to divulge what she knew.

"Which are...?"

Clearly she wasn't as stupid as I'd thought.

"Just that he and Louis had fallen out," I muttered.

Karen let out a breath. "But Harry didn't say why?"

"He never got chance. He was going to fill me in last weekend, but then he went to New York and fųcked a model," I said bitterly.

"Well just believe me when I say there is more upheaval to come," Karen said cryptically. "I can't say what, but it will be out there soon enough. And I don't want Harry to have to deal with everyone blasting him for being a cheat on top of everything else he's got on his shoulders. I worry about him - I know what he did hurt you but he's only human, Jess. Are you telling me you've never made a mistake in your life?"

Gary walked past me with Sarah and gave me a concerned look, and I waved them away and looked down at the floor. The memory of kissing Gary at Radio 1's Big Weekend danced in front of my eyes and I remembered the look of pain on Harry's face when our eyes locked across the VIP tent. I felt sick.

"No I'm not saying that.... but I was never unfaithful," I protested weakly, trying to keep calm, but my voice was giving me away.

"I know he regrets it," she continued. "Hearing Harry cry is one of the worst things in the world -"

"That's enough!" I spluttered. "I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work. I will not be manipulated into this! I've told you I'm not going along with your stupid PR stunt and that is final."

"Alright," she sighed. "I have to say I admire your strength of character. Harry always said you kept him on his toes. I can definitely see what he means."

"Shame he got bored once I let my guard down," I snapped.

"I can't comment on his motives because to be honest I'm as shocked as you are about the whole thing," she said wearily. "Harry is one of the sweetest, kindest people I have ever met. He's the last person I would have thought would ever do something like this, especially to you. I just can't figure it out."

"Have you asked him?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"Of course I have!" she said, sounding surprised. "He just keeps saying he was drunk and she came onto him and he didn't think. Part of me can't help thinking there's more to it than that. But the way he's beating himself up over it also makes me think he simply had a moment of madness that even he can't understand."

"What do you mean, beating himself up?"

"Nothing," she said, a little too quickly.

"Just for once, will you be straight with me!" I snapped furiously.

There was a short pause before Karen said, "I'm always straight with you."

I snorted. "Right."

"I am," she said, sounding confused.

"So tell me what you mean by Harry beating himself up!" I said.

"He's just... Jess, he's devastated. That's the only word for it. He's been in tears over it; he's an emotional wreck. I'm worried about him, and this bad publicity isn't helping. They're all under so much pressure all the time - from the fans, the media, even us - Modest, I mean. I know they love it but we work them so hard, and Harry is more sensitive than the others. He takes all the bad press to heart, and he's struggling with it now more than ever because he knows he was in the wrong with what he did. He feels in his heart that he deserves everything people are saying about him. But I think that's an awful lot of criticism to take for someone like Harry." She paused for a moment and a tear slipped down my cheek. "Imagine making a mistake - hurting someone you love - and regretting it so deeply... and trying to come to terms with losing that person, while having the whole world screaming at you and judging you... I'm not saying he wasn't in the wrong, but he's getting fired at from all angles and that's the part he doesn't deserve. Just because he's famous doesn't mean he's perfect."

"Stop trying to make me feel sorry for him," I choked.

"I'm trying to make you understand," Karen replied gently. "Listen, why don't you meet me after work one day? I could come over to your office -"

"No, I don't want you coming here," I said, wiping my eyes.

"Come to my office, then. I can have a car pick you up and take you back home again. We can talk about this properly. How about tomorrow evening?"

"I...I..." Why wouldn't my mouth just say no?

"Fantastic. It'll be outside at five o'clock."

"This doesn't change anything!" I said, finally finding my voice. "I'm not being seen in public with Harry. If I get even a sniff of a set up, I will be straight to the press myself to blow this whole thing out of the water."

This was an outright lie - I would never do that in a million years, but it wouldn't hurt Karen to think I might. And I didn't think she would be stupid enough to risk anything, as I'd never signed that wretched contract. Thinking back now, that was probably the best move I made, albeit not my choice at the time.

Had Harry known this was going to happen? I thought suddenly. Was this why he'd refused to let me sign it - so I wouldn't be forced into covering for him in the future?

I pulled my thoughts away from that road. It was a path I couldn't bear to go down right now.

I became aware Karen was still speaking.

".... absolutely no pressure," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow. Take care, Jess."

"Bye," I said, vaguely, and ended the call.

I thought back to the tour schedule: The boys were in Horsens in Denmark tonight. And Harry had told me he wouldn't be home for a while, so at least there was no danger of running into him at the Modest offices tomorrow. Not that I thought Karen would be stupid enough to set me up and risk me letting myself loose on the media when they were so hungry for a story. She'd proved she was always one step ahead.

But if there was one thing I'd learned about this shady band and its management, it was that you just never knew what was going to happen next.

----****----

Thank you for all the brilliant comments on this book so far! I love reading your theories on what is going on behind the scenes, and some of your comments inspire me to write conversations I may not have been going to include previously, so keep them coming!! (The discussion about Modest between Callie and Jess at the end of No Control was a prime example!) xxx