Chapter 37

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Leaving Damien and my mom alone last week was such a tough situation. I honestly fear for the outcome of the divorce.. and leaving my mom knowing my father could show up at any time? Terrifies me even more. Luckily she has Damien and his girlfriend around a lot, but, still.. what if they weren't there one day? What if Damien being there isn't enough? I shake my thoughts out of my head as i returned my focus to chopping the onions in front of me.

I was lucky enough that Desirae let me leave long enough to have this vacation with my family ,but, to be so distracted a week after being back might ruin things. As nice as she is, she is strictly business and I don't think I've ever worked this much and this hard in my life. She demands total focus when I'm with her and on the clock and not only that, but, she has a position open for a personal assistant in and out of the kitchen and I want that spot. This gig now is amazing, but, it pays nothing but benefits of working with her and the free meals here and there. I need to start making money. I know Zara has finances covered, but, I really wanna try to spoil her for once. Give her something and have her be proud of my work and not only that, but for myself? I need to prove to myself and everyone that I have what it takes to do this and I wanna build something for myself all by myself- WITHOUT help from my father or his money.

"BLAIR!" I hear Desirae call as she stormed into the kitchen, holding a piece of paper in her hands. "I just got an order and I want you to prepare the entire table's dinner. Now." She demanded slamming it infront of me and walking out in a heavy pace. I peered around the kitchen to see the other cooks and dish washers staring, then returning their gaze slowly with looks of fear on their face. She may be a petite lady, but, every single one of us is scared of her when she's in chef mode.

     I take a look at the order- four meals to be prepped. I go over to Lionel who today is working with me to prepare the meals set forth according to Desirae. He's her right hand man here and he watches over me and nitpicks every fucking thing i do.

"Not like that!" He yells as i cut the onions, taking the knife from my hands and showing me how to do it and then handing it back. "Now do it. Here take it."

I take a Heavy breath and do as I'm told. When Zara tells me what to do, it's one thing, but, when anyone else does it... mmmm. I get done with two of the orders- even with this man yelling in my ears at every other thing i did, and set them down, and on the final meal, he begins again.

"Do you even know how to make this? Oh come on you-"

"Oh my god! Shut the hell up!" I throw the bowl down on the table and finally say something.

"Excuse me!?-"

"Shut. The. Hell. Up. You have been down my throat this entire time. If i couldn't cook, i wouldn't fucking be back here would i?"

"How dare you talk to me like that? Do you know who i am-"

"I don't care!" I shout in annoyance. "Literally nobody else does. Can you please get your head out of your ass-"

"Blaire!" Desirae shouts from behind with disappointment in her voice. "Office, now." And as she escorts me out- not giving me even a second to explain, she directs Lionel to finish the rest of the meals.

Great. He's on my ass like that and still gets to cook the rest of my table? How will i ever show i deserve this if Every chance i get is taken away? She sits me down in her office and faces me in her chair.

"Look.." she begins, "you've been gone awhile. I know that a vacation that long can throw a person off their game, stress them out, but you can't be blowing up on Lionel like that. He can be an ass- that's no secret, but, he is a golden ticket to getting better."

"Mrs. Desirae, he was treating me like an idiot. I don't care who he is, i won't be talked to like that. Ever." I huffed out as i sat back in my seat.

"And i will talk to him." She assured me, "but, in this industry you will meet men who have bigger egos and worse tempers, he's the first of many. But don't worry, He will be talked to."

"That's all i ask."

"It's been a long few days and you have to be here early tomorrow morning, why don't you go on home and I'll see you tomorrow for the breakfast shift. I'm sure you have some class work to finish up."

I sighed, knowing what little help this conversation did for the both of us. Lionel is still gonna be the ass of a man he already is and I'm gonna be stuck having to play buddy with him. Honestly, maybe it's the stress from visiting my mom and everything that happened weighing on me but I am so ready for the day to be over. Once this all ends, i have another few days before i head back to school and i just wanna relax with Zara.

     I really haven't been able to do any sub duties for her with everything going on. I think when i get home, I'm gonna make her dinner and pour her a glass of wine and probably put her most recent binge worthy show on. It's nothing crazy, but, It's something. She's working on set with Sol as a PA all day. She rarely ever does this sort of thing, but, Sol is the only other person she trusts to work with the lights and settings the way her usual assistant does. We've both just been so busy living different lives that by the time she gets home, I'm usually in bed and she's about to eat dinner. James has been coming over to cook most nights this week but since he'll be out of town, it's the perfect time to get back in our original schedule. As sick as this might be, I miss her sadistic need to hurt me. God, if that were out of context, can you imagine what someone might think hearing that?

I miss the tip of a blade being dragged down my chest and the way the shape of her hands stayed printed on my backside for days, and how it hurt sometimes when someone pressed a hidden bruise somewhere on my body accidentally that only her and I knew of. The little romantic things. With my free time, I cooked her a nice and easy pasta dinner, fixed up a plate for her, lit up a candle, and set down the glasses of wine and plates near the tv so we could relax together. I even had time to grab some strawberries and chocolate on the way home and made chocolate covered strawberries quickly. I let them sit in the kitchen and when I heard the door open, I immediately ran to see her.

     As I appeared from the kitchen, I watched her drop her bag to the ground with a smile gently plastered onto her face as she looked at the plates and wine on the table.

    "And What's this?" She asked knowingly.

    "I made you dinner." I beamed and walked closer to her.

     "I see that, and what did I do to deserve this?" She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me in.

    "Who said you had to do anything for me to wanna make you dinner?" I stared into her eyes before looking down at her lips, distracting myself before speaking again. "I just think that with everything that had been going on and then trying to get back into the normal routine of our jobs  and classes and whatever that It'd be nice to do something for you again. I miss us."

    Her eyes hold me just as endearingly as her arms do before she leans down for a gently sensual kiss. "You will never have to miss us because we are never going anywhere without each other. Thank you for dinner, princess." She kisses my cheek and lets me go. "I'm gonna shower real quick and then come down and enjoy this beautiful food with my beautiful princess."

I nod my head and let her leave. It's nothing special i mean I'm literally in sweats and a crop top right now, but, being around her; being in her presence is enough to make anything feel like a 5 star trip to your dream destination. I waited her arrival, texting Imogen about my day so far and the dinner for Zara. She's been really busy with college so her texts are scattered throughout the day. I haven't been able to reach her much since the trip back and I really miss her. She's been keeping an eye out on my family, making sure things aren't going crazy while I'm gone. As much as I hate to leave everyone, it's so nice being able to escape chaos for once.

    "What are you thinking about?" I hear a sultry voice behind me, arms wrapping across my abdomen.

"Nothing important." I rest my arms on hers and lean back a bit feeling how easily she catches me and holds me tighter.

"Mmhm" She utters out, "When you're ready to talk, I'm here."

"I know." I kiss her cheek and unwrap her arms around me, "Time to eat?"

"Yes, princess. Where's your collar?" She asked, pointing to my neck only occupied by the necklace she gave me awhil back.

"Oh.." I look around, and remember it's place next to the door. I walk over, hearing her soft footsteps behind me. Grabbing it and going to throw it around my neck until she takes my hand.

"Allow me." She says gently taking it out of my hand and going behind me to wrap it around my neck and tighten. "Good?" She asks, earning a nod from me giving her the okay to hook it and kiss my shoulder.

"NOW time to eat?"

She laughs. "Yes, babe. Sit down."

     I lead the way to the couch and infront of our plates, going on the tv to put on her show and sit back next to her as we begin eating our food. We sat in silence for awhile. Not sure exactly how long, but, after we finished eating and I washed the dishes I sat back down with her and we went on our phones- her mostly responding back to work texts and checking/ updating her socials for the day. If it were up to her, she'd rarely ever be on her phone as it is. I caught a glimpse of her as I was changing apps considering It gets boring scrolling past pictures I had already seen before. Just looking at her even makes me wet. Even after almost a year of being together, you'd think that it would die down. It never does. I mean, even being around her and surrounded by her energy- she breeds sexual energy in itself. Or maybe its because we haven't had sex since that one night back home after everything happened and even after that my life became engulfed by my family's drama I haven't had any time just for us.

    I decide to turn my phone off, gently climbing on top of her as she laid back on the couch. I put my head between her arms holding her phone up and rested it on her chest. She put a leg over one of mine but continued on her phone, making sure she got back to everyone she needed to. After I sighed- indicating I wanted more touch, I felt her lips pull into a little smile before removing one hand from her phone and rubbing my back. I scooted up a little more, my head now resting in the crook of her neck. She didn't seem to busy.. Atleast that's what I'm telling myself as I lean up and kiss lightly on her jawline before leaning back down to her neck.

"Princess?" She draws out in a husky tone earning a muffled 'hmm' from me. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing.." i giggle, continuing all around her neck.

"Doesn't feel like nothing." She keeps her eyes glued to her phone, but, I want more attention from her.

     I bite down gently on her neck, knowing that would immediately illicit a response from her. Even though she likes when I bite, she has to be the one who does it harder.

     "Mmm," She winces a bit before I hear her phone click and shut off.

      I feel her hands wrap around my hair as she pulls me off and looks me deep in the eyes. No sign of aggression. Her face wears an endearing smirk as she rubs her hand on my cheek.

"If you want me to please you, all you have to do is ask." She begins, using her free hand to slide underneath my shirt and over my right breast. Her lips connect instantly with mine, the feel of her soft tongue swiping against my bottom lip takes my breath away every time.

     My fingers became wrapped in her hair desperately trying to keep her close to me. I felt her start to lift up underneath me and before i knew it, we were on the other side of the couch, my head now laid on to the armrest and her on top of me. I looked in her eyes, my desire for her building deeper and deeper with ever millisecond that passed by. Her heavy breathing was enough to get me to buck my hips into her. She bent down, letting out a light chuckle at my desperation. Her tongue grazed my skin before pressing her lips down and feeling her suck down on my neck. I let a moan leave my lips as my hips bucked into her once more.

     "So desperate." She whispers against my skin, reattaching her lips to a different part of my neck and holding my hips down.

      "Only for you." I grinned, my eyes shut in ecstasy feeling her hand reach down my  sweatpants and teasing me with slowly with her fingertips.

     "That's what i like to hear, princess." She kisses my cheek, her fingers moving as slowly as ever. "What do you want today?"

      "What?" I say unable to Focus on anything but her; her eyes, lips, fingers. Everything about her.

     "What do you want me to do to you, my pretty girl? Fuck you til you're crying? Edge you til you're begging just to catch your breath? I'm giving you options here, are you too brainless to make your own decisions?" She asks, her fingers picking up pace.

      I inhaled deeply at her touch, "I-" is all i could get out as i tried to slow her hand down by grabbing her wrist.

     "Tell me. Babe?" She asks, even witnessing my eyes roll to the back of my head. "Answer."

     "I c-" i breathe out, "can't."

     "Then i guess I can't give you what you want." She jumps up and completely off of me.

    "Are you kidding?" I asked.

    "Mm nope."

     "Wait-" i stopped her from walking up the stairs by jumping up to the edge of the couch. "Okay, okay. Please fuck me. Please, mistress."

     She doubled back, a cheeky grin spread across her face before approaching me slowly. I know she can see how desperate i am to be touched by her. She bends down in front of my face. Our lips just an inch apart before she pulls back from my attempt at a kiss.

     "Offers off the table." She gently husked out before standing straight up and walking away. "Maybe if you finish all your tasks tomorrow, I'll be able to give you your reward.. or rewards."


    


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