Chapter 35

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It's now New Years Eve and we still have not had a single sign of my father. My mom hasn't called or said anything about the process of the divorce and Damien moved back home with her so she wouldn't be alone. Even he doesn't know anything. She leaves the house every day and doesn't get home til late. He waits for her, hoping she'll finally say something but she keeps dodging his questions. I'm hoping that tonight can be an escape from all the madness. Christmas was probably one of the worst holidays we've ever had as a family, but, Imogen and Zara made up for it. When I woke up the next day they set up a tiny little Christmas tree on the table infront of the tv, put on a video of a fire in the fireplace, and set the presents around it. It was super cute. We all stayed in and talked- no distractions, no disasters, or divorces... just us.

We're in the car driving to my mom's place where I'm sure a bunch of guests have already arrived. It's 9:26 pm and we were supposed to be there at 8:30 but Zara and I got.. distracted to say the least. By the time we finished getting ready it was 9 pm. We practically sprinted out of the house. Zara sprayed on her signature perfume right before we left so the entire time we've been in the car so far I've been trying my hardest not to rip her clothes off, although.. I'm not doing the best job. I can't help but touch her right now. After earlier.. and with that fucking perfume..

    "Princess." She whispers under the music into my ear, "we just had sex.. are you really that needy again?"

     "I can't help it." I admit, kissing her cheek, " you know what that perfume does to me."

      She shakes her head with a grin on her face. "We're almost at your mother's."

    Fuck, my mom. Am i selfish if all i wanna focus on tonight is Zara? I mean i get it, and if my mother needs me there for her, I'll be there.. but, it's Our first New Years together.. our first midnight kiss. I've kind of put our whole dynamic on the back burner ever since we got here in focus of my parent's and my father's approval. Obviously that was my mistake. She's been so patient with me- as she always is.

     Looking at her right now i can't believe i got so lucky. I'm lucky to have my hands running through her hair. I'm lucky to have her hand on my leg, To feel what loving her and being loved by her feels like. God, I'm the corniest bitch alive, but that's how it is when you meet someone and fall in love with. I mean someone true and honest and kind. She's the most non judgmental person I've ever met. She sees me and everything i go through, and she understands.

"Why are you staring at me? Is there something wrong with my makeup?" She asked.

"No.." i laugh. "I'm just looking at you, you're very pretty."

"I'll tell you what." She cups my cheeks and leans in a bit. "If you're not still tired after tonight when we can come back to the house, I'll make you cum until you rip me off of you. Is that okay with you?"

I simply nod my head and leave her with a kiss as Imogen parks the car and we all began to climb out. I grabbed Zara's hand and intertwined our fingers together. She looked down at our hands and scrunched her eyebrows together, then at me with a bit of shock on her face. I know she knows how i felt before, but, the secret's out. I'm not ashamed of loving her, I never was. I was ashamed of not being perfect in the eyes of my father. But something I had ignored for a really long time, was how imperfect he was. How much i actually feared him rather than respected him. What can he do now? My mom's courage to leave him has shown me enough. I smile and kiss her one last time before going in to show her that I'm serious and I'm ready. She smiled into the kiss and we walked behind Jasmine and Imogen into the house.

The crowd of people was bigger than before. I didn't expect so many people here. Even people I had gone to private school with were here with their families. People I hadn't seen for years even before moving away. Zara squeezed tighter on my hand as I looked around frantically at the amount of people crowding the interior of the home i grew up in. Assuring me that she was there with me, even if it that's all she could be for me right now. We walked in deeper, both being greeted by some unfamiliar faces. Imogen and Jasmine already made it through and into the kitchen where my mom was still cooking up some extra dishes as the appetizers seemed to be quickly disappearing by the minute. As i stood in front of her I watched for a second before i greeted her.

"Hey mom." I released my grip on Zara's hand to go in for a hug as she pokes the little appetizers with toothpicks.

"Hi sweetie." She continues on with her poking after a small pat on my back even as I held on and looked down at the food with her. "Nice to see you Zara."

Zara smiled gently. "Nice to see you too."

she looked between us two and back down at the plate. "Are we still keeping a little secret, hm?"

I blushed as I looked away from my mom raising an awkward question and towards Jasmine and Imogen who's faces beg for an answer as well- and then to Zara, who also wanted to hear what I had to say. I inhaled deeply before responding. Here it goes I guess.

"No. No secret." I smile, walking over to Zara's side and leaning up to put a kiss on her cheek before saying one more thing. "Zara is my girlfriend."

"nice to finally hear you say out loud." My mother grins picking up the plate.

"I'll say.." Zara responded back.

I gently hit her shoulder with my palm and she jokingly winces and pouts. This might just be one exciting ass night.

     Hours into the party and not one single disaster or mishap or dramatic encounter. It's been all laughs, smiles, drinking. My mother is the drunkest she's ever been on a holiday. It was getting a bit sloppy and emotional but nothing that couldn't be easily reverted with a 'displeased' guest needing a refill or more snacks. Nothing could stop my mom from being a good host. Ever.

   Laughter and the sounds of open chatter came to a halt as everyone's eyes turned to the front door. The familiar tall and fear fueling man I called my father stood at the door way. None of us expected to see him and yet there he was. Staring back at all of the eyes around him seemingly searching for a specific kind. Damien and I didn't move- we Couldn't. We stood together, Zara on my other side. He connected with Damien's and mine and for a split second it felt like my soul had been ripped out of my body and I was floating in an existence that had no power here in this moment. He peeled his eyes away and I had to blink my eyes quickly to stop a tear from shedding. I felt nothing but anger as I looked at him. And finally my mother- who had no idea what was happening peered from around the corner to be face to face with him. She stood frozen. I could tell she was trying to move, but, she was glued in place.

"I need to talk to you." He pants out as he walks towards her.

"There's.. There's nothing to talk about." She swallowed heavily, eyes laid on the two as they continue to have a seemingly private conversation in the eyes of the general public.

He looked around as she spoke. "Please. Let's not do this here. People are watching."

"You came into this house, during a party you knew was happening, and you have the nerve to say that?" My brother speaks up, speeding his way infront of my mother. I chased after him, knowing that the last time he stood up to my dad ended awfully for him.

He scoffs at Damien. "Please, son. The grownups are talking. This doesn't concern you."

"My mother's happiness doesn't concern me?" He got closer to him, even standing a few feet below my father, he didn't cower in fear. "Here's news for you, we don't want you here. None of us want you here!"

My father shouted over his words, trying to mask what he was saying. "This doesn't concern you! Why don't you go-"

"Oh really? Then what does? You're pathetic. You're Weak. A fucking coward!" My brother shouts over top my father as he continues to try and keep him quiet.

"You would be nothing witho-" He tried to continue, but, he was meant with a shove to the ground at the hand of my father's rage. He stood up quickly and in a flash, the sound of bones crushing against Damien's fist filled the air followed with gasps collectively filling the room.

I looked in disbelief as a puddle of blood appeared on the ground, drips continue to fill it as my father held his nose over top. and then another bone crushing sound filled the room. and another. Before any of us could comprehend what was going on, Damien was above my father, landing hit after hit, even as his body became almost completely unable to defend itself. His hands that were trying to cover his face were removed and quickly, a few men went in and grabbed Damien off of him as they pushed him off of my father and held him back as he fought hard to run back. My father stood up slowly, a bloody mess as he turned away from the crowd. Not to hide anything other than his bruised pride and ego.

"What?! You can't take a little payback for all those years, Dad?! Not so big and fucking tough are you now? No? Because You're fucking nothing!" Damien shouted at him, still trying to lunge forward towards him. "Never come back here again! You're worthless to us!"

My mother tried to calm him down, blood stained parts of his new dress shirt and hands and as he peeled the men off of him he stood tall. I ran over to look at the damages he had done to his hand. Bruises were visible but with all of the blood, I couldn't decipher what was his or my fathers.

"This isn't over." My father walked towards the door and as he exited said, "I'm gonna fight for my family back."

"I'll be here every time." My brother mocked calmly as my mother and I examined his hand.

The party continued after the blood had been cleaned up by Imogen and my mother. I took Damien up to his room and sat him on the bed while i went to grab an ice pack and wet cloth. I had Zara stay with him while I finished. I knew Damien needed this. To get revenge on my father. I thought perhaps cutting him out of his life as I would do so but I guess for Damien it was different. You could hurt him all you wanted, that was okay. he could handle himself, as he always said he could. Even as an eight year old boy who knew no better than the abuse he dealt with from a man 4x his size, he knew he could. But he finally snapped when things deflected onto my mother and me. His presence carried more anger and aggression. He seemed to only be able to hide it enough so that he didn't lash out on anyone. I didn't know what it meant really because I had never ever seen him that way. And even then he always tried to carry his loving character through all the anger this past week. But I think actually seeing the cause for all of his anger was enough. I don't think I've ever seen him hit anyone before. So it came as a shock that he had that much pent up in him. Still, My father deserved it. Every last hit. And i can't say i feel even the slightest bit sorry for him. As I began to walk up the stairs I was interrupted by a girl, about 5'4 tapping my shoulder. As i turned around to face her from the second stair she stepped back and waved.

    "Sorry." She had a quiet tone to her delicate voice. "I'm looking for Damien."

     "who are you?" I asked kindly, holding the ice pack against my thigh.

     "Oh sorry, I'm Irina. his girlfriend." She responded.

    I plastered on a grin and stepped down a step so that we're face to face. "Oh you're the girlfriend?! I'm Blair. His sister." I put the ice pack in the hand with my cloth and shake her hand. "Follow me up the stairs. He's in his room."

    We walk up slowly, I ask questions about the relationship. They met online, but, oddly enough lived extremely close. Spent months calling before he had the courage to ask her out for an in person meet. She's only a month older than him. from what i can tell, she really likes him. Blushes when she talks about him and Zara's the same way when she talks about me- atleast in front of me she does.

    We turned into his bedroom where Zara sat on his chair and he was sitting on the bed. We seemingly interrupted their own conversation as the froze and looked over at us.

     "Hey." Zara said abruptly.

   "Am i interrupting?"

    "Nope." She shrugs.

     "Look who I ran into." I move to the side to reveal Irina from behind the doorway.

     "Hey!" Damien jumped up and laid a kiss on her cheek.

    "Hey?" She pulls him off. "Are you okay!?" She looks at his hands.

    "oh yeah. I'll tell you about it when we're alone. I'm okay though. Seriously." He stares at her longingly and as she reciprocates the energy in the room became oddly like we were interrupting something. I guess that's our cue to leave?

    "Well.. I'm just gonna.." I drop the cloth and ice pack onto his table and reach for Zara's hand. "Leave that, and take her."

    "See ya!" Zara says as i pull her out of the room and shut the door behind her.

    We both looked at each other and almost immediately bursted out in a quiet laughter as we walked the hallway towards the staircase.

    "Hey.." She says. "It's almost midnight."

   "How do you know?"

     "I checked the time on your brother's computer before you guys came back in." She responded. "It's been a couple of minutes though. I'm guessing 5 minutes till it's time."

     "I guess so." I grinned up at her.

     "What do you wanna do?"

    I didn't say anything. I just grabbed her hand and led her back down. We stood in the crowd of people as my mother turned the volume up on the tv. I saw Imogen and Jas in the back and we stood by them.

"Hey guys, how's Damien?" Imogen asked.

"He's upstairs with his girlfriend." I answered putting Zara's arm over my shoulders, keeping our fingers intertwined.

"I wanna meet her!"

"I think they wanted some alone time honestly.." Zara replied.

Imogen's eyes widened as she turned away. The 60 second countdown appeared on the tv and all the angst quieted down awaiting the 5 second mark. Jas got out her phone and started recording towards her at 10 seconds. I looked up at Zara excitedly nervous as we counted down together, quieter than most but more intimately towards each other. And as we hit one second; and as the people around us shouted a happy new year, she wasted no time in pulling me in and cupping my cheeks to kiss me. Delicately.

It felt as if everyone had disappeared. My hands fell to her hips and once she pulled away, i opened my eyes slowly as the voices began to fill my ears again and her grin was the only thing in my focus.

"Happy New Years princess." She whispered as she rubbed my cheek with her thumb.

"I love you." I replied back with a gentle peck on the lips as Imogen and Jasmine hollered at the sight of us kissing- as if they hadn't seen it a thousand times before.

We turned to see the camera facing us, with their heads in the corner. I covered my face and laid my head on her shoulder in embarrassment not realizing she was still recording. Zara leaped to put the phone down sarcastically, and as the video stopped and she laughed she returned her focus onto me. "I love you too."


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