Zara's POV
What the fuck just happened? I'm looking down at Blair right now, who legitimately just passed out after telling me something I've been dying to hear. I snap out of my complete state of shock when Jas walks into the room.
"Hey! I cleaned up a bit in there. Can I grab the clothes real quick before I hop in the shower?" She asks.
"Uh- um, yeah- in.. In the closet. Take whatever." I respond.
"For someone who just had a pretty intense threesome, you sure don't seem that happy." She notes.
"I'll tell you later. After we both shower. You can use the one in the guest bedroom downstairs." I tell her.
She gives me a thumbs up and goes into my closet to grab her clothes. I look down at the sleeping woman in my bed. The absolute love of my life. I know- i know, its cliche. It's basic, ordinary- but, I don't care. I found her. My favorite person. I mean for fucks sake, she just had a Bdsm threesome with me and my best friend- and from what I can tell, she loved it. I can't help but smile at the peace of mind I feel when I know she's safe and sound. And with me. I walked into my bathroom and start the water to make sure its warm before I go in after picking out my clothes. I know I'm not doing anything for the rest of the day besides taking Jas home so I settled for a pair of white sweatpants and a white sports bra.
I did everything I could as quietly as I could. Once i hopped out the shower i got dressed, did my skin care a bit. I knew I'd get out of the shower before Jas, so I did what i normally would do when I'm up while Blair sleeps. Instead of coffee, I made her a lavender tea with honey and two scoops of sugar- just how she likes it. I also brought up a pack of two of her favorite cookies and carrots and hummus because I know her- If I don't give her the vegetables, she won't eat it and I'll be damned if my girlfriend doesnt take care of her body even a little bit. I made one last trip downstairs to grab a bottle of water and went back up to leave it on the night stand.
"You are so in love with her." I turned around to see Jasmine standing behind me in the doorway drying her hair in my oversized t-shirt and shorts.
"And I'm proud of it." I respond. "Come on, lets go, I dont wanna wake her."
We walked downstairs together, deciding on sitting in the kitchen for a moment while I grabbed some carrots and hummus for us to snack on and made the both of us some tea as well- although, I had Jas prepare hers herself.
"So," Jas begins. "Blair's fun. Can't believe she was actually down for the threesome- I couldn't tell if she was being serious or not."
"Honestly, me either. but, It was fun. If anyone's gonna dom my girlfriend with me, I'm glad it was you." I finish setting up my tea and turn around to place it on the counter so I could face Jas as we spoke.
"She can handle a lot for someone who just got into this thing, I'm pleasantly surprised at her tolerance."
"She's had a lot of training." I admit. I trained her a lot more before we got busy, but, things happen and schedules don't always align. I am just glad I've been able to go to bed with her by my side almost every night- would be every night if I didn't travel so much sometimes.
"Have you told her?"
"Told her???" I question.
"That you love her, stupid." Jas responds, blowing on her tea.
I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, I did."
"And..?"
"I said it first- a little while ago. She told me just now right before she passed out." I answer honestly. I look down at my tea, blowing before i took my first sip of it.
"Is that why you were all.. bleh.. up there?" She grabs a carrot and dips it into the hummus.
"Yeah. I was processing- still am to be honest. I'm waiting for her to wake up so we can all three talk about what just happened. It might be a couple of hours though." Jas isn't a very patient person so I figured I'd give her a heads up before she stayed over. Blair usually only sleeps for an hour or two after sessions,but, this one was intense and I know her body is probably exhausted so I'd give it another hour or so.
"Understandable- she did practically fall into your arms after i untied her. What do you wanna do til then?"
"I wasn't planning on anything- Wanna go out to grab some açai bowls and walk in the park for a bit- she's gonna be out for awhile." I respond, grabbing my cup and beginning to exit the kitchen.
"Sure, Can I drive?"
I rolled my eyes, "Yes, but, since you're driving my car I get to aux."
"Oh god." She responds.
After waiting for our bowls for 30 minutes, we went over to the park across the street, into the field and sat down at one of the many shaded picnic tables. We talked and looked around- there was a baseball team composed of the cutest little boys trying their hardest to play, A couple jogging in the park together, a few people jogging alone, and parents all around waiting for their kids to finish their practice or on the playground further to the right that wasn't really in view from where I was sitting. We used to come here every other weekend after we finished sessions- either done together or separate and talk about all the little things we had just done with our subs. If I'm being honest, our session with Blair was probably the most successful and easy one. We don't usually piggy back off each other that well, the chemistry isn't usually... go with the flow with other subs. It's oddly perfect how well Blair fits into our dynamic. And how she fits so perfectly with me.
We must've lost track of time because when we had arrived it was only 5:30, now its nearing 7- the sun had started to go down a bit ago, but, we hadn't noticed. We could spend hours talking- a lot of it had to do with Blair. I could talk about her forever if you let me. I wasn't even thinking about stopping until I heard my phone ring. Oh shit, Blair's awake. I gesture for Jas to start helping me clean things up and we do so frantically.
"Hello, princess?" I responded.
"Hey, where'd you go?"
"We went to grab something to eat- did you eat everything I left for you?" I asked, grabbing the last of the trash and following Jas over to the trash can. She got my keys out of her pocket and we started walking towards the car.
"Yes-" she tried to start, but, I know her.
"Everything?"
She groaned, "Fine."
"The water and tea?" I asked.
"FINE! God, you're annoying." She jokes. "Are you coming back now? I miss you."
"You adore me, and yes, princess. I am, I'll be back in 15. Go lay down- watch something on my laptop." Jas and I climbed into the car.
"Okay, bye. I love you." She responded. My heart beat picking up as soon as I hear the words.
"I love you too." I respond.
"Ew." Jas says as I hang up the phone.
"Jealous?"
"I fucked her too." She shrugs.
I rolled my eyes and sat back in the passenger seat.
Blair's POV
I do as I'm told. I get back in the bed and turn on the tv, putting on something as background noise to my thoughts. I finally said it- I can't believe I said it. I knew how I felt- fuck, everyone did. Even my mother, who I hadn't been around for months knew. Damien knows, Imogen knows. I mean- my father is the only one who doesn't right now really- and I'm okay with that. I ponder on what this means for us now. I already live with her, we're together all the time, she's met my family.. Come to think of it, she doesn't talk about hers much, really ever. I get a call that disrupts the never ending thoughts of our future together and of course, It's her.
"Hello?" I answer.
"Put on some clothes, baby. Come to the car, we're gonna go drop Jas off at home." She shouts through the phone.
I get up, end the call after telling her to give me a few minutes and put on a pair of light sweatpants and a hoodie. I grabbed my little book bag and walked out the door, making sure it was locked and heading down to the parking garage. As soon as I exited the door, they were waiting there for me in the car. I climbed into the backseat and shut the door behind me, looking forward to see both sets of eyes staring back at me.
"..Hi?"
"Hey," Zara responds, "How are you feeling?"
"Tired. Sore,tired."
"You said tired twice?" Jas scrunches her eyebrows together.
"Yeah, that's how tired I am." I answer honestly.
Zara looks forward to turn down the music, only to turn back to me once again, "Are you feeling okay, princess? Was everything good during the session?"
"Oh," I catch on to what they wanted to talk about, "Oh yeah, I loved it. I'm gonna need a couple of days to recover from it but otherwise, amazing. I had no idea Jas could fuck like that, first of all. Very impressed, very very pleased. Second of all, I am experiencing like major.. fatigue? I'm like completely out of it. Is that like.. normal?"
"You might be going through sub drop." Zara informs me- not that I even know what that is.
"Which is?"
"Are you feeling kind of down?" Jas asks.
"Yeah.. like the session was amazing and I'd love to do it again, but, I don't know- i just don't feel one hundred percent." I explain and sit up in the seat to wrap my arms around Zara. "Can we cuddle when we get home?"
She turns around and kisses my cheek, "Of course. First we have to get Jas home."
On the fifteen minute car ride back home, we continued to talk about the session. They asked me to go into detail about how I felt during and after the session. I simply explained to them that during the session- although torturous, it was amazing. I enjoyed every minute of it and was glad to share an experience like that with two people I really cared for and who really cared for me. Zara even told me that that session was the best they ever had together- that no session had ever had their energies match so well the way mine did. I'm touched, honestly. Then I told them how I wanted to do more later with them both which they also agreed to. I kept forgetting to sit back in my seat, but, i couldn't keep my hands off of Zara- she reciprocated the little touches I did, kissing my hand when it touched her shoulder, playing with my fingers, lacing our fingers together.
"Jas- how many girls have you been with?" I asked, resting my head on Zara's headrest.
"Only a few- four maybe? including you actually."
My jaw drops to The ground. "And you can do all that with your fingers and tongue ?!"
She laughs harder than I've heard before, "I dated one of them and We had.. a lot of time to practice. I'm glad I impressed you so much."
"Maybe next time I'll just watch." Zara jokes.
"Whaaat? No! I need you more than anything." I admit- although, it seems like exaggeration I'm not lying.
We got to Jas' apartment- she hopped out The drivers seat and hugged Zara goodbye. She opens The back door- The one across from me, and climbs In a bit, "Bye pretty girl, Get some rest, listen to your domme, Eat some more for me. I'm gonna kiss you, but, just this once because I figure I fucked you good enough to earn a goodbye kiss, and two, just so you know you were amazing." She leans In for a quick kiss. God her lips are soft.
"Bye." I say as she exits the backseat and Zara hops In The driver's side.
"Come up, princess." She says, patting The passenger seat.
I do so, figuring she lets me control The Music when I do. I open the back door and jump out into the front seat. After i buckled i picked her phone up and looked through her music. After Zara had pulled out of the parking lot and into the open road, she placed her hand on my thigh. I looked over from the phone for a second as i could feel the butterflies swelling up in my stomach the second she did. It's been months and i still feel everything I've felt from when we first started.
She parks the car in her normal spot and we both hop out of the car. I run to her side immediately and lace our fingers together, grabbing her arm with my other hand and holding onto her while we walk in. Lewis and Gunther see us from the corner of their eyes and turn their heads to offer a friendly nod.
"Always nice to see you two." Gunther says, opening the door for us.
"Hi misses." Lewis greets us both.
We say our hellos and walk into the building. The manager wasn't at his post like he usually is but we walk past and into the elevator. As the doors shut and Zara leans against the wall of the elevator, i wrap my arms around her and lay my head on her chest. She wraps her arms around my neck and uses one of her hands to play with my hair.
"You okay?" She asks once more.
"I just need you." I respond.
I do. I feel like i need the connection. The touch. I need to know she's here and will stay here. I just feel so vulnerable right now. I've never really felt like this before- I've had depression, anxiety, ptsd from my family, but this was something i had never felt before. I don't exactly feel like i normally would when i experienced depressive episodes. I would normally stop speaking to people and distance myself as much as i could, but right now i feel like if i were alone things would just... stop?
"You have me." She responds. "You'll always have me."
"Promise?"
"I promise." She responds. "You know, i know that I travel a lot, i work a lot- whatever, but, no matter what I'm doing or where I am, i will always come back to you- i will always choose you."
I look up at her- I can't help but stare. How did I get so lucky? She's the whole package and more. She gives me everything I could ever ask for in a person and even things I dont ask for. When I look at her all I can see is forever. I can't imagine moving forward in life with anyone else but her. When I imagined life- you know, before really coming to terms with my sexuality and meeting Zara, I imagined it how my mom has it because that's how i was brought up. She really did love my dad at some point. She had told me stories about when they were young and in college, meeting for the first time. It was candle lit dinners and beach trips in his parents' cabin alone with each other. He was romantic and sweet and thoughtful- caring. Now? He's let the values of his parent's dreams to indulge him and that's all he's become; His parent's dream. And that's what he expects from us. I always thought I'd end up with some one my dad wanted- a guy who had generational wealth, a smooth talker who got his way through life with the connections his family had; someone who grew up with everything they wanted handed to them and at some point advance in life to starting his 'own' business 'by himself'. Maybe one day have kids with him and be forced to live out my life the way he wanted to live it.
But, no. Here I am. With the most amazing woman I could ever ask for. Living in a city I had dreamed about since I was a kid- Living a life completely different than what I had imagined and loving every second of it. And loving the woman who introduced me to this life. She was the start of my happiness. And the more I look at her, the more I see it. She is exactly what I've needed and I would never trade her for anything.
"Why are you staring at me so hard?" She laughs, not uncomfortably but more so.. intrigued.
"I'm just so amazed by you." I lay my head back on her chest.
The doors open to our floor and I unhook myself from her body until we got out of the elevator and grab a hold of her hand as we walk down to the door of the penthouse and make our way inside. My first instinct when she shut the door was to put my collar on- which she helped me do. The next thing I did was sit on the couch and lay my head back on the cushions and as I look up her voice catches my attention.
"So, let's talk." Zara sits at my feet and I sit up.
"Do you really love me?" She sits back and stares at me with a look I had never seen before.
Vulnerable. She's showing fear and worry- genuinely. I never thought I'd see that from her- I knew she had emotions and she was loving, but, she's never opened up really. I've noticed her focus remained on me so much that she never really got into anything about herself; I knew important things about the here and now and what she needs now, but, this expression.. It was different.
"I love you more than anything. More than words and phrases and actions could ever show. I may not be able to provide for you right now- the way I wish I could-"
"I don't want that from you. I dont need it." She interrupts for a moment. "I love providing for you. For me, letting me take care of you and be there for you, that's love. And I will do it for you no matter what happens. But continue."
"I know, i know. I just sometimes wish that we talked about you more- who you were before me, your family, everything. You know so much about me and yet I only know you NOW. I wanna know everything about you. I wanna be committed to all of you, not just the present."
"One day, I'll tell you so much you'll get sick of me, but, for right now, I'll tell you this. I don't have any family- not one's I really talk to anyways or even know about." She answers. "It's a long story that I'm just not ready to share."
"Does Jas know?"
"Not even she knows."
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