(what once was - hers)

(Y/N) pov:

my alarm wakes me up at 6:45am and i groan as i slam my hand on top of it. the noise doesn't stop and i keep banging my hand against it for a good 5 seconds until the shriek of my clock ceases. today was the first day of junior year. i crawled out of bed with my hair a mess and stretched my arms up towards my ceiling. my new house still felt weird to me as i looked around. i stood up, made my bed, and then went downstairs to grab breakfast. i didn't want anything, but i knew my mom wouldn't let me go to school unless i ate something.

"good morning hun" she said while smiling.

"hey mom" i replied half asleep. i grabbed cereal and put it in a bowl. then i filled it up with milk and started to eat. my mum tried to make casual conversation with me mostly consisting of school related ideas and how excited i was to go back. i only half listened since most of my focus was on my food. i felt nauseous at the thought of eating it. revolted by it. i wanted to throw it across the table. the rage that filled me when i was exposed to food was unlike any other. i took a deep breath and thought about this past summer. my summer was wasted at a hospital recovering from bulimia. none of my friends knew about anything. whenever they asked me where i was, i just said i was on vacation. those two months of my life were hell and i never wanted to go back. i shuttered at the thought of some of my experiences and had them motivate me to continue to finish my breakfast.

when i finally finished, i went upstairs to change. i put on baggy jeans, an oversized graphic t-shirt, black converse, and pulled my hair into a half up half down hairstyle that complimented my face. i put on concealer and mascara because it was the first day, but i have no urge to continue this routine throughout the school year. i grabbed my bag, put in my headphones and started blasting my favorite artist. as i walked out the door, i picked up my skateboard and i yelled to my mom.

"good bye mum love you!"

she replied with something loving but i was already halfway out the door and taking in the cool air. i never get cold so instead of perceiving the wind as frigid, it was refreshing on my warm face. i started skating to school not thinking about anything in particular, just enjoying the weather, my board, and my music.

Kyle pov:
i'm sitting at the table in my pajamas watching tv and eating breakfast. my mum is stuffing ike into almost 80 winter jackets with 29 scarves to top it off. Ike complains as he tries to take them off.

"mumma im not cold!" he yells.

"i don't care, i don't want you getting sick!" my mum says. ike groans but complies with her.

"kyle stop being lazy and get ready for school. (Y/N) is already out the door and walking." my ears perked up at the sound of her name. (Y/N) was the most popular girl at school. i've always had a small crush on her, but no chance since she didn't even know my name. every boy in school has had a crush on her at some point. especially clyde, and since clyde liked her, he made sure to let people know to back off. they weren't dating, but clyde was crazy about (Y/N). i mean i can't blame him, but at least i'm not the one gatekeeping her from the rest of us. i snapped back into reality and looked up confused.

wait a second, i thought she lived on the other side of town.

"mum since when does (Y/N) live around here?" i asked. "she moved in about a week ago." my mum started. "you didn't notice because you were too busy playing games with your friends and not doing school work."

i rolled my eyes at the passive aggressive comment but secretly my heart skipped a beat. this may be my chance to actually connect with her! it was a long shot, but since this new development, i had a better chance than ever. i went upstairs with a new outlook on life and opened my curtain for the first time in weeks. the room flooded with light and even though it was blinding, i felt refreshed. that's when i looked out and realized something. my window faced right into (Y/N)'s room. it was so close that if she were there right now we could practically yell to eachother if we opened our windows. she wasn't there obviously, but i could tell it was her room with all of the posters about sports and nasa. i look down and think about this whole situation.

i have the chance of actually becoming friends with her.

i quickly snapped out of that hopeful thought and returned to thinking rationally.

she doesn't even know your name now, why would she want to get to know you anyways?

my heart fell at my own negative thinking and i started to get ready for school.

i walked towards the bus stop and saw my three (well maybe 2.5 because of cartman) friends standing there and chatting. i stood next to them and waited for them to notice me.

"hey dude!" stan says giving me a hug. stan, my best friend though thick and thin. i love him to death. "hey bro." i responded smiling and returning the hug. "what's up man?" kenny shouted through his parka. i laughed and only stated "nothing much." cartman glared at me as usual and greeted in the most appropriate way for him.

"what's up jew?" he said. i rolled my eyes and told him to fuck off. we started to chat about our summers but i was submerged in my own mind thinking about the new discovery i made today. after a few minutes, stan then made a face and looked at me. "dude something is actually up with you." he says staring intently at my face. i blush trying not to think of the fact that i'm excited about (Y/N) living next to me. i try to play it off cooly by saying "haha what do you mean?" i awkwardly scratch my neck and hope they don't notice my pink cheeks. kenny is on to me now too. he goes, "you have something to tell us. spit it out now." i again try to play it off and say "no what are you talking about?" this only makes it worse and cartman starts to rip on me. "dude you're being weirder than usual what is going on?" i sigh and decide to come clean.

"okay okay, so you know (Y/N) in our grade?"

"yeah who wouldn't she's super popular." says stan. "and hot!" kenny adds. i roll my eyes at that comment and ignore him. "anyways she just moved across town and her house is directly next to mine!"

the boys stared at me, stan with his mouth open and kenny punching cartman as if to get his already captured attention. even cartman was too stunned to speak. "you're saying the hottest girl in our grade moved next to you? a jew?! she must have been desperate" cartman finally spoke. "dude you're so lying" kenny says laughing.

"i swear i'm not!" i say defensively. i don't mention how my room is a looking glass into hers, since they would probably want to hang in my room all the time from now on.

"dude you better not be fucking with us." stan remarks. i shove my hands up and yell "i'm not! come see for yourself after school."

As i say that, the bus arrives. Cartman and kenny start to eagerly talk about this new found discovery. i am now regretting tell everyone except for stan. we walk on the bus and my mind starts to wonder.