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L E O N I E


I love waking up in the morning with a dry throat, and cottonmouth and a headache so bad that I could have sworn that a horse kicked me in the face last night. So good. So fun. Hint the heavily applied sarcasm. Not as heavy as my limbs though.

Heath slept on his stomach, his back was so firm and his muscles made me drool. Tan and gorgeous. He had this light sprinkle of freckles across the top of his shoulders. A sure sign of a lot of sun. I loved it.

While last night was a bit of a blur, I was sure that he'd spent a considerable length of time dealing with my antics.

So I slipped out of bed and left him snoozing while I went in search of a shower. It was only nine. So I assumed that Jazz would be sleeping in after her shift and Sarah could see me out and about in her brother's T-shirt. I really didn't care.

But of course, my luck, Jazz walked out of the bathroom right as I was going in. We bumped into each other at the threshold and I squealed as I bounced back. "Shit. Oh—" I slapped a hand across my mouth— "hello. Good morning."

She smiled. She didn't even give me one of those malicious once overs that I've witnessed a time or two when I've been sneaking out on a one night stand or getting a glass of water in Jess's kitchen.

"Good morning Leonie," she slipped her hands into her robe pockets. I didn't see a lot of Jazz. That was partly because of her hours. And partly because Heath and I hung out at my apartment more than we hung out here. Bit hard to bang when your little sister was on the other side of a paper thin wall. "How was your night?"

"Oh. Yeah. It was— yeah— that was— fun— hey I love your slippers. They're cute."

She glanced down at her feet and pulled her brows together, wiggling her five dollar Target slippers. I had the same pair at home. About six of them. She didn't need to know that though. This was incredibly fucking awkward.

"So," she looked up at me again. "What are your plans today? Heath told me that you love a lazy Sunday but you should join us for lunch."

"Oh," I looked back at Heath's bedroom door and felt some sense of deja vu. Like I'd had this conversation before. When I turned around, she was still smiling, waiting for an answer. "Yeah that sounds nice."

"Great."

"Yeah," I inhaled a deep breath. "I'm uh— just going to have a shower. If that's alright?"

"Yeah," she sidestepped and waved me forward. "Go for it. There are clean towels on the cabinet."

"Thanks."

I hated the fact that Heath's bathroom didn't have a lock on the door. But it was like that for Sarah. She'd had episodes before where she'd passed out or needed help and it wasn't safe to have to door locked just in case something went wrong. But there weren't a lot of people in the house and it was a firm rule to knock before entering.

So I sat down for a wee, washed my hands, swished some mouthwash since I had no toothbrush and switched on the shower. Last week I'd had a Brazilian. Like I did every six weeks and I was still soft and smooth. I tried to get Jess to go with me, but she hated the pain of waxing so she shaved. Ugh. Waxing was worth five minutes of sting, rather than three weeks of re growth that itched and felt course.
And of course Amy was a naturalist and let her hair grow. Whatever. No judgement.

The water was warm, the pressure was just right. I often hated showering at other homes because I was so used to my enormous shower head and pressure. But Heath's was just right.

About five minutes later, the shower door swung open and Heath stepped inside, cupping his hand across my mouth and pushing me back into the wall before I could squeal with fright.

"Ssh," his muscular frame pressed against mine. "No one saw me slip in here."

"You gave me the worst fright," I relaxed, my heart started to slow after the threat of someone barging in on my damn shower. "What are you doing in here?"

He shrugged his rounded shoulders and grinned. "Thought I'd do my part for environment. Save water and all of that."

"Excuse me," I recoiled. "Cheeky and mildly sexual humour is my thing."

"Na," he soaped up a loofah and turned me around so that he could wash my back. "Psychotic and extremely sexual humour is your thing."

I grinned and revelled in his strong hands on my back, making circular motions and sending tingles down my spine. "That's not entirely inaccurate I suppose."

He laughed and dropped the loofah, wrapping his arms around my front. I felt him growing hard behind me and although his body was solid and muscular, I sank into him and felt cushioned. Safe.

"Don't worry. I like that about you," he kissed the top of my head and I couldn't help but remember what a mess I'd been last night. Nothing new when I'd been drinking. But still.

"Why do you like me?" I asked.

He was quiet for a minute and I didn't want to expect a generic answer. Something lame like, you're good in bed. I knew Heath had more depth than that. But I couldn't help but feel nervous for what he'd tell me. I shouldn't have been so pent up about it. I didn't want more. I didn't want to settle down. So why was I so tense and scared that he'd let me down?

"You remind me of the wind," he said, the water pelting down on both of us, beads cascading off his lips which were beside my throat as he leaned down behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

I swallowed and shrugged. "Is that because I blow hard?"

"Trust you," he laughed and pressed another kiss on my neck. I felt it all the way down. Low. "No. It's because you're unpredictable. You can't be tamed or trapped. You can be as gentle as a soft breeze or as reckless as a hurricane. You're a breath of fresh air. You don't need to be seen to be felt. The world needs you."

I knew that his answer wouldn't suck. But I hadn't expected it to leave me breathless. I didn't expect to see a flash forward into the future. A future with him. With happiness and vows and babies. Shït. This couldn't have been worse. But it felt so good. I attempted to breathe and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"And you do blow pretty hard," he added with a nervous laugh. I had a feeling that he was lightning the mood. No doubt he could feel the tension radiating off my shoulders. I still hadn't filled my lungs.

"Your mom invited me for lunch," I said and felt him exhale behind me. Still, he didn't linger on the awkward tension. He started running his fingers through my sopping wet hair. His other hand rested just below my boobs. "I said that I would stay."

"We talked about this last night. Remember?"

"I thought it sounded familiar," I couldn't seem to grip the memory though. It was a blur.

"Mhmm," he rested his chin on top of my head. "And we said that we'd put the airline tickets and stuff in a letter for Sarah to open at lunch."

"Ah," I smiled. "Right. And address it from the doctor."

"Yeah."

"Yeah I remember now."

"All your brilliant idea. I'll sort it out after we get out of here."

He was too good for me. He never pushed me. Never got upset with me when I pushed his efforts away. He knew when I needed space. It was starting to feel cruel. Like I was using him. Keeping him around. I would hate it if he was with someone else. But I didn't want to move into official territory with him. That wasn't right. I was starting to wonder if I should end things after we get back from London.

Ugh. That was the total opposite of what I wanted.





Heath walked out of the kitchen with a stack of bread rolls in one hand and a bowl of ham in the other. Sarah and I were gossiping about Riverdale theories instead of helping bring lunch out from the kitchen.

But I was quite happy to watch Heath sauntering back and forth. His joggers were a snug fit. He had such a plump bum. And those shoulders. Ugh. I was going to have to beg him to wear t shirts that were ten sizes too big. I couldn't handle seeing his sleeves pull tight on his biceps.

He ran a hand through his hair and fluffed it as he fell into the seat beside me. Sarah was at the head of the table, tapping on her phone screen with a small smile. Cute. Jazz walked inside then, she had a pile of mail and winked at us as she stood beside the kitchen and started going through it.

Heath had set his phone up to film the occasion while he was in the kitchen. It wasn't obvious and his little sister had no idea that she was about to get an early birthday present. Jazz dropped the mail pile but kept hold of one letter, turning it over in her hands as sank into her seat on the other side of the table.

"Looks like a letter from the doctor," Jazz placed the envelope in front of Sarah add then started digging into the food. The three of us exchanged a look when Sarah ignored the letter. "That might be important."

"Doubt it," Sarah scoffed. "Probably just an appointment card or a summary from my last appointment."

I tried not to laugh. It was so typical that this would happen. But none of us said a thing for the duration of the meal. We talked about this and that while we ate. But I could see that Jazz was getting restless. She wanted Sarah to read the damn letter and after an hour, I was feeling the same. I hoped that Heath's phone hadn't stopped recording.

As Jazz stood up to start clearing the dishes, Sarah leaned back in her seat and picked up the envelope. Jazz hurried back but tried to remain casual as she started picking up plates. We all tried not to focus too hard on what she was doing. But as soon as her gaze widened and she turned the paper over in her hand, our smiles grew.

"What the hell is this?!" She looked up and waved the paper, her disbelieving grin went from Jazz to Heath and then settled on me. "London?! For my birthday?! Did you organise this?"

"We all did," I smiled, my heart felt so full watching her excitement bubble. "My mom arranged the flights though. Your doctor gave it the all clear and we can do absolutely anything that you want while we're there."

Her lips pursed and her chin quivered. As hard as she was trying, she couldn't stop herself from bursting into tears. "You guys are the fucking best," she blubbered, clutching her chest.

Heath reached for my hand under the table and squeezed it. I didn't need him to tell me outloud how grateful he was that I'd been able to make this happen. The reward that I got from watching Jazz and Sarah embrace in a tearful hug was enough for me. I lived for this shit. Giving. Making other people smile through something as simple as providing them with something that they would appreciate. Didn't get better than that.





On Monday morning, Alex and I were in biology. Bray wasn't at school because he'd ended up coming down with a cold after the big party at Jade's. He had to recover immediately so that he wasn't sitting out of his football games. I still hadn't attended a single one. Terrible best friend. I needed to go to one before the season was over. Maybe I could take Heath.

Much to my relief, there were no dissections happening this afternoon. We were doing textbook work and Alex, being the gem that he is, was taking down notes for his best friend.

"Sarah told me about the surprise trip to London," he said, tapping his pen on the back of his hand. "You're great for sorting that out."

"Yeah sorry we didn't invite you," I shrugged. I'd considered inviting Alex. But I knew what it was like to be in the feels and have your new boyfriend around. No one else existed. And I wanted Sarah to have this time with Jazz and Heath.

"No it's fine," he laughed and brushed his fringe back. "It'll be good for her to have that time with her mom and brother. I'm excited for her."

"You're a good egg," I patted him on the forehead.

He chuckled and then his brows furrowed in thought. A thought that seemed to be giving him trouble. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well— this is kind of— I don't know how—"

"Spit it out," I sighed, noticing his cheeks becoming redder and redder. "What's going on?"

"You know how you told me that Sarah wants to get married?"

I gasped. "I told you that?! Oh shit. I did! On Saturday," I slapped a hand against my mouth as it all came back to me. I am the actual worst. "What is wrong with me?"

He shrugged as if I actually wanted an answer from him. "Well anyway," he ignored my self loathing and scooted his stool closer. "What if I asked her?"

I straightened up. "What? To marry you?"

He nodded.

"You want to marry her?"

"I want her to experience her dreams," he said, soft. His smile was distant and full of awe. So cute. "If that's something that she wants, I would love to help fulfill it for her. But I dunno. What do you think she'd say?"

"I have no idea," I murmured. "My first piece of advice would be to wait until she's sixteen. That's not far. You'd also be wise to ask for permission. I'd start with Heath. He's probably going to be the hardest one to get on board. Maybe."

"So you think I should go for it?"

"How long have you two been seeing each other?"

"About a month."

"Hmm."

"But it's different," he defended. "I mean, she's not on the same timeframe as the rest of us. Ya know? Waiting for an appropriate amount of dating time, or for the right age or whatever, might mean that she misses out. If she's always dreamed of getting married and having a wedding, well I would love to do that for her."

That was big time selfless of him. Willing to get married at such a young age just so that the girl he cared about could have that experience before she died and left him a widower. He was too sweet. It was hard to know what Sarah would say, but I had a feeling that it wouldn't be a no.

"Wait until we get back from London," I nodded. "You want me to talk to Heath?"

"No no," he smiled and seemed excited that I was on board. "I'll talk to him."

It was probably a bit bold to assume that I could start planning a wedding. But did that stop me from opening Pinterest and searching themes, colours, cakes and dresses? No. Not at all. If Sarah was getting married, she was doing it in style.

After biology, Alex and I went to the cafeteria and loaded our trays up with chicken burgers, fruit and water. The weather wasn't unbearably hot so we sat on the grass in the sun and waved the rest of the crew over when we saw them emerging from the cafe. Ethan and Amy were walking together, although it looked tense, I took their togetherness as a semi promising sign. I also had to pretend that I knew nothing of their current situation.

"Chicken burger day," Jess did some hideous spastic dance that could rival Mr Bean on acid, before she let her backpack slide off her shoulder and sat down in front of me.

"Hey," I nodded at Ethan and Amy as they sat beside Jess and closed our small circle. "What's the deal with you two? Still dating? You good?"

Amy frowned. She still hadn't responded to the texts that I'd sent her after her blow up with Ethan on Saturday night. If I had to guess, she probably blamed me for the fact that he stood up for himself. No doubt thought that I'd put those thoughts in his head. Because Ethan couldn't think for himself apparently.

"We're fine," she mumbled. "Thanks for being so delicate, as usual."

"Delicate? What for? You had a fight in front of all of us. I'm just checking in since you don't respond to my messages."

"We sorted it," Ethan gave me a tight smile, taking the paper wrapping off his burger.

"How's your hand?" Jess asked and pointed at my slightly bruised knuckles. I chuckled to myself when I remembered the brawl that I'd thrown myself into.

"It's fine."

Amy winced. "What happened this time?"

"I don't really remember how it started but I ended up punching some dude in the head like a thousand times before he fell on top of me."

"Uh, you pulled him down," Jess corrected through a full mouth of burger. "Bray said you like threw your whole body backwards and took this dude down. It started because he was being a dick to Jade and Bray stepped in and it escalated from there."

"Oh yeah," I laughed. "That's right."

"Bray and Ethan had to drag him off and send him packing."

Amy whipped her head and stared at Ethan. "You were in a fight?! See. This is the whole reason that I hate that house. It's just drama and drugs and sluts."

"He wasn't involved at all," Jess defended, scowling at the furious blonde. "He just helped Bray take this asshole outside and send him home."

Ethan was chewing on his food, staring at the floor while he ignored the situation. I had a feeling he was close to popping off again. Fucking hell. I wanted them to work on their differences so that there wasn't a divide in the group if they broke up. However, if they did break up, I was sure that the only divide would be Amy. And would it really be a bad thing if she moved on to another group of friends?

I'm the worst.

"Ya know, not that Ethan needs to be reaffirmed, but he was totally behaved at Jade's," I said, absentmindedly tugging on the grass so that I had a focus and didn't become enraged at Amy and drown her in the school pond. "He had a good time and there were no sluts or drugs. So relax."

"Thank you, Leonie," Ethan smiled and gave Amy a harsh glare as he stood up and collected his lunch. "I have to go. Music lesson. Catch up."

"Ethan?" Amy called after him but he stalked off and didn't look back. When she turned around again, she sighed. "We were fine on Sunday. I apologised and we decided that we'd be more understanding of each other's differences. We made plans for his eighteenth in a few weeks. Like, what the hell? Why do we always fight around the rest of you?"

"You just had a bitch at him for something that he didn't even do," Jess waved her hand in disapproval. "I'm starting to wonder if you don't actually realise how snarky you sound."

Amy's brows pinched and her shoulders slumped. "I don't mean to be."

"Work on it," I advised and exchanged a knowing look with the always quiet Alex. Neither of us wanted to tell her what Ethan had told us in history earlier that morning.

That Ethan would always love Amy. But he wasn't sure if it was worth it anymore and he was closer than ever before, to calling it quits. As much as he wanted to keep his promise, the promise that he'd made to go to college with her and rent an apartment and get a dog together, he just couldn't see her in his future and he was struggling with the fact that he'd have to hurt her. But he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep trying either.

___

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