H E A T H

Smack

Smack

Smack

My consciousness started to stir at the incessant assault on my arm. I was waking up from a dream that I was already beginning to forget. But the image of ice blue eyes and dark hair began to dissolve the further that I arose from slumber.

"Heath, wake up."

I opened my eyes to find Mom standing over me. She'd opened my curtains and the sun was beaming in, hitting the blinds and creating a pattern on the comforter.

"What's up?" I asked, voice thick and full of exhaustion. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine," she lightly laughed. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm taking Sarah and her friend out for the day."

The day, what was the day... Sunday. It's the one day of the week that Mom refuses to work. I was glad to know that she was going to spend it with Sarah. The usual routine was movies or shows. Good food. The beach. Sometimes if Sarah was too sick, they just hung around the house in their PJs.

"Sounds good Ma," I closed my eyes and pulled the cover up further over my bare chest. "Did you have to open the curtains though?"

"It's ten."

"It's Sunday."

She didn't humour me with a response and shut the door behind her. Before I got out of bed, I went through my phone and watched all of the snapchats that Leonie had sent me over the course of the night. The last one was her and Jess walking into the club that Jade had granted them access to.

I wondered how her head was this morning but remembered that she handled her hangovers well. Still, I knew that she had a Sunday ritual and figured I'd save her a task and deliver her some fries. She'd appreciate it. There was a little motivation in knowing that I would get to see her as well.

I dressed in a pair of black joggers and a plain V neck T-shirt. I didn't want to pick up the fries from Charlie's because I knew that they would be cold by the time I got to South Beach. So instead I stopped at a beach side diner near her apartment building and bought her a punnet of thick cut fries.

The weather was warming up fast. Lazy Sunday beach goers laid out in front of the ocean and the overall pace of the people was slower. More relaxed. As it often was on a Sunday.

When I arrived at Leonie's apartment building, I felt that familiar disbelief at the luxurious living conditions. Her doorman, Freddie,  greeted me and seemed amused to see that I was cradling a punnet of hot fries as I passed. I thought about her while I rode the elevator. I thought about her smile when she saw me. Of course, at this point, I knew enough to know that she'd be more excited about her food. Still, that was fine with me.

My knuckles tapped the apartment door once and it swung open before my fist could make contact with it again. Leonie was standing behind a tall dude in a beanie. She was wearing PJ shorts and a bra.

I hated him.

That was immediate. Possibly uncalled for as well. I didn't know him at all. But I hated him.

He recoiled when he saw me and held up his hands. "I didn't know that she had a boyfriend."

Leonie scoffed and shoved him in the back. "Goodbye."

He slipped past me with his back against the wall and I watched as he made an awkward run for the elevator. It wasn't that I didn't want to punch him in the face, because I did. But I wasn't going to.

Instead I turned back to Leonie and smiled, hiding the irrational jealousy. . . and hurt.

"Hi," she leaned against the door frame and scratched the spot behind her ear. "You wanna come in?"

"Sure."

I followed her inside and shut the door behind me. As we wandered through into the living area, she peered over her shoulder. "Those smell like fries."

"Thought you might be in need of your Sunday food."

She stopped beside the couch and folded her arms, smiling up at me. "Thoughtful of you."

I wished she'd put a shirt on. But then again, I hoped that she didn't.

She gratefully took the fries and fell into the couch, snatching the remote with her free hand. It seemed like we weren't going to talk about what I'd just walked in on and to be fair, I didn't want to. It wasn't my business and I knew that more details would just twist the knife further.

She peered up at me with the remote aimed at the television and raised a brow. "You going to sit?"

"You don't want to be left alone? Isn't Sunday your day of recover and relaxation."

She rolled her eyes and patted the space next to her. So I sat down and toed off my shoes.

"I'll put a shirt on soon," she said, watching the television as she surfed through the Netflix selections. "I just can't stand getting dressed straight after a shower. I'd be butt naked if it weren't for company. Less clothes the better."

I held back telling her that I wouldn't object. Instead I looked down at her phone screen between us and saw it illuminate with a message from Jess. But the message wasn't what caught me. It was the group shot of her friends as the wallpaper. I'd met all of them apart from the tall young dark kid that Leonie had her arms around.

"Is that Benny?"

She looked down at her screen and smiled. "Yeah. That was at one of his fighting meets."

"He's got a decent set of arms," I commented, noticing that they were all muscle and no fat. You could see it from the picture alone.

"I'm a sucker for good arms," she commented, and I looked up to find her gaze lingering on mine for a moment. She cleared her throat and aimed the remote at the television again, choosing Gossip Girl.

I groaned. "No," I pleaded. "Sarah watches this enough as it is."

"Bad luck," I laughed. "I'm in a Gossip Girl mood so Gossip Girl is what I'm watching."

She settled into the sofa and started eating the fries, fast. I laughed and grabbed a few before they were gone. She wasn't kidding when she said that she loved them. I'd never seen someone devour deep fried potatoes so fast before. I was glad to discover that they were good as well. At least I hadn't cocked up and gone somewhere gross. 

I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the television but I did catch a little dialogue that served to confuse me. "Of course I love you, Chuck. I love you more and more everyday if it's even possible to love someone that much."

"Wait," I sat forward, one elbow on my knee as I pointed at the screen and looked back at Leonie. "That's Chuck?"

Her brows furrowed and she nodded.

"He's the one that Sarah is constantly losing her mind over? What? Where's the appeal?"

She sighed and dropped her hand into her lap. "He's brooding. Girls love a brooding man. He wears the hell out of a suit. He's rich and he's troubled. But no further questions because I'll never know what draws us into brooding troubled men who have sex addictions."

I exhaled and leaned back in the sofa with my hands behind my head. Well I was in trouble. I don't think that I was brooding or trouble. I definitely wasn't rich. And no, the sex addiction was not a trait that I had. Sex, great. Fun. Loved it. It just wasn't going to land me in trouble because I couldn't control myself.

"I always thought that the tall, blonde one was Chuck after you all made such a big deal about him."

"Oh. Nate," she nodded. "He's your type, huh?"

I scoffed. "He looks like every girl's ideal man. He's an attractive dude."

She giggled. "Yeah I mean, sure. He's got the looks. But he's too boyish. For me anyway. I dunno. Chuck is just. . . a daddy."

I sat there, thinking about what she'd said. She had a type. She liked confident and strong men. Strong in more than just a physical sense it would seem. I exercised. My body was in good shape. I wasn't sure what else I'd have going for me in regards to winning her over though.

"What about Dan?" She questioned. "You think he's cute?"

I gave her a narrow glare and then leaned forward, snatching the bag of fries out of her hand so fast that she had no time to react but her lips did part in outrage as I held them out at arms length and far from her grasp.

"You are such a child," she scoffed with amusement. "Give em."

"Na."

She pouted, folded her arms and then stared at the television. I wasn't convinced though. I could see her gearing up to get them back. So I patiently waited until she leapt over my body and reached for the fries that I put above my head.

She scrambled over my chest and her knees practically winded me as she pressed them into my torso. My laugh was breathless because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get to them. And then her chest was right there in my face and I tried to ignore the damn twitch that was happening in my pants because regardless of whether we were being playful or not, her half naked body was all over me.

After a moment of struggling against each other, we'd ended up lying down on the couch. I was under her and she had finally managed to snatch the bag back. Both of my hands were free now and settled on her bare back, just above the band of her shorts, her skin was warm and smooth.

She hollered with success. "Ha. Don't even think that I won't cut someone for fries. I'd sell an organ for these delicious deep fried bitches that own my heart."

I laughed and she looked down, swallowing. She was straddling me and I suppose that she'd realised it too when the fries hit the floor behind me and both of her hands held onto my shoulders, holding her weight.

She smelled so good. Her hair curtained her face and tickled my neck. Her lips parted as she watched me, something that I don't think was meant to be sensual but was. Her popped pout made me imagine her lips around me and it was strong and intense but it made me hard just thinking about it.

My grip on her waist became tight. A response to the throbbing in my jeans and she must have felt it because she pushed down and I inhaled, sharp. That was when she dropped her head and her soft lips met mine.

In an instant I was overcome with need. My hand wrapped around the back of her neck and her tongue slipped inside of my mouth.

This girl could fucking kiss. As she kissed, her hips rocked back and forth. It was subtle at first but when my grip on a fistful of her hair tightened, she went harder. And so did I. My other hand moved lower and cupped her ass, encouraging her little thrusts. Her deep breathing was desperate and she pushed her hands up underneath my shirt, her touch was fire.

I sat up, holding her close with one hand and leaned against the back of the couch with her knees on either side of my hips. It was fast and sudden and Leonie must not have been expecting it because she gasped and her legs clenched.

She went back in and we kissed. My hands held her face and she continued slamming back and forth, the friction was putting me on the edge of climax and I moved my mouth down and on to her throat, her head tipped back to allow it.

"Heath," she gasped, shifting, grabbing, taking. "Stop being so polite and fucking touch me."

She didn't need to tell me twice. I snapped the back of her bra and it slid down from her shoulders. My hard on was pressing against my pants and it became ten times worse when I saw her perfect breasts in front of me, round and hard.

I palmed them, pinching her nipples with one hand while the other dipped down into the band of her shorts. She lifted a little, giving me more access.
"Is this okay?" I panted, my finger sliding over her wet slit.
She nodded but before I could slip inside of her, she pushed on my shoulders and groaned. But this time it wasn't with pleasure. But more like disappointment.

"Wait."

I took my hand out of her shorts and dropped it, along with the other one, to her waist. "Is something wrong?"

"I can't do this."

I nodded, confused but I stopped regardless. "Okay. I'm sorry."

She lifted her head and shook it. "No no," her light laugh was nervous and she buried her face in her hands. It was rare that she seemed so flustered. "It's just— this is going to confuse things. If we do this— there's no coming back from it. We can't be friends after we cross that line and we can't be more."

I swallowed. "Why can't we be more?"

It was a stupid question. I'd heard, not just from herself but from her friends, that she didn't do more. And who was I to think that I could change that?

"I don't do more," she murmured and slid off of my lap, her long dark hair a mess which my hands had created. She stood up, snatched her bra from the sofa and slid it on. "I was in love once before. And I lost it. With no chance of ever getting it back and it almost killed me. I can't ever go through that again, Heath. I won't."

Part of me wanted to argue that it wouldn't happen twice. But what good would that do? Why was I tempted to fight for a girl that I'd known less than a month. Why did I want her to give me a chance so bad? One thing I knew, was that I would never hurt her.

"I'd hurt you, Heath," she sat down beside me and exhaled. "You're such a great guy. You deserve someone that's not damaged because for real, I am."

I ran a hand through my hair and bit my lip. "You're not damaged, Leonie."

"No, I am," she nodded and threw her hair over her shoulder. "You don't even know the half of it. I can't put myself through a relationship again, let alone someone else. And as much as I wanted to do that just now, sex is just— it makes things complicated."

"I thought that's what you do though?" I asked but it almost sounded accusatory. Which wasn't my intention at all. My Palm was damp so I wiped it on my jeans a few times.

"I do," she said, soft. "You don't."

"I could," I lied. I couldn't. I knew that now. My heart was just as hard up for this girl as my dick was.

"Well, I couldn't," she shook her head. "Not with you."

What did that even mean? Did she have feelings for me? Did she think that the potential was there? Or did she just realise that she wasn't attracted to me and wasn't bored enough to act as though she was? I really had no idea but what I did know, was that I couldn't face more rejection than I had already this morning.

I inhaled, sat forward and rested my elbows on my knees. "So friends?" I hoped that we could at least keep that.

She smiled but it didn't reach her ocean blue stare which had clouded over and turned a storm grey. "Yeah of course. Friends."