I chewed on my lower lip, as Ian closed the door behind us. His house was surprisingly silent. Hercules must be asleep somewhere, because he would have come running out at the sound of our footsteps. I plopped myself onto Ian's red suede couch, as he disappeared into the kitchen. 

I had no idea what he wanted to talk about, but it was making me nervous. I rested my hands on my lap as he came back shortly after, gulping a water bottle down his throat. His eyes fell onto mine as a smile drifted across his face. 

"What are you smiling about?" I asked folding my arms across my chest. 

Ian shook his head, nonchalantly. "No reason in particular."

I rolled my eyes. People don't just smile for no reason. He was clearly up to something. After a moment of two of silence, I stood up, brushing myself off. 

"If you're not going to say anything, then I'm leaving," I retorted walking towards the door. Just as I had my hand on the doorknob, Ian spoke up. 

"I lied to you, Ryder," he finally said. My eyes darted to his, as he walked towards me, his eyes not leaving mine once. 

"When I told you Alan was away on business, I lied," he continued. "I broke up with him."

I glanced back towards the door, unable to process what I was hearing. He had broken up with Alan. My fingers gripped tightly against the knob, as I felt Ian hovering behind me. He rested his hand on my shoulder, turning me towards him. His hazel green eyes stared into mine for a moment, before I quickly glanced down at my ground. 

"Well, why did you do that?" I managed to say, not really sure if I wanted to hear the answer. 

Ian sighed. "Because I am in love with someone else, and I would be lying to myself if I pretended to care about him as much I care about you."

Ian's fingers found their way onto my chin, as he lifted my head up. I could feel my heart beating outside of my chest, and I didn't like it. I didn't like that he had the power to make me feel this way. That he could just say a few nice words and have my heart racing like the first time he and I kissed. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to. 

"Ryder, look at me," he asked as I chewed on my lower lip. "I'm in love with you. I don't want anyone else but you. And I know . . .  Gotdamnit Ryder! I know that you feel the same way. You can pretend like you care about that college guy, but deep down, you and I both know that you still love me too."

I shook my head, turning towards the door. Just as I reached for the doorknob again, Ian grabbed my hand, pulling me upstairs towards his bedroom. He closed the door behind us, as he grabbed my chin, and locked his lips onto mine. I fell back onto his bed, as his lips moved in synch with my own. His hands found their way onto my chest as he unbuttoned my shirt without hesitation. His lips creeping, ravenously past my lips, and down to my neck, and chest. 

Soft moans echoed through my throat as Ian's hands slid up my thigh, and onto my belt buckle. His lips didn't move off my skin, as I anxiously squirmed underneath him. 

"Ian," I choked as his kisses sent waves through my body. "We shouldn't do this - I shouldn't . . . Fuck. Stop doing that."

Ian ran his tongue down my sternum, completely ignoring me. As much as my mind was telling me that this was wrong, my body was telling me a completely different story. Shit - they weren't even in the same genre of stories. The way Ian's lips were moving, there was no way I could think straight. 

"Ian," I sighed in between my loud moans. "I have a boyfriend."

He stopped for a moment, his hazel green eyes fixated on mine. "Not tonight."

He flashed me a devious grin as his lips returned to my mouth. Any thought I may have had about Jeremy was being overshadowed by all thoughts of Ian. The soft roughness of his hands, the smoothness of his skin against mine and those lips- those tender soft pink lips of his - roughly sending chills down my spine with each kiss. 

I could barely catch my breath.

"I love you, Ryder," he repeated over and over as we had sex. When we finished, he kissed me one last time, before he rolled out from his bed, and disappeared into his bathroom. I sat on onto of his bed naked, trying to figure out why I had  just let that happen.When Ian returned, he stood in the middle of his bedroom, shirtless, with his boxer briefs snug against his waist and his arms folded across his chest.

"Ryder," he asked his tone more serious. "Do you want me back? I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do."

Now he didn't want to pressure me, right after, he practically threw me into bed with him. I licked the dryness off of my lips as I rested my head on top of his pillow. Ian sat down beside me for a moment, resting his hand on top of my chest. 

"Talk to me, Ryder," he said his fingers running through my hair. "What are you thinking?"

"Do you really want me to answer that question?" I asked my eyes drifting towards his white walls. 

"I want you to be honest with me," he replied, bringing his lips to my neck.

"Could you stop?" I asked moving away from him. "You want me to be honest, Ian. Well fine. I'll be honest. To be completely frank, I hate myself for being suckered back here, and letting myself be seduced by your charm. You can tell me you love me all you want, Ian, but I don't believe it. I don't believe for a minute that you care about me as much as you say you do - if you did, you wouldn't have let us fall apart in the first place."

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder, Ryder," he interjected. 

"Fuck you," I huffed. "And fuck distance. I tried to move on, but I can't - I can't even have sex with my own boyfriend without thinking about you. And I fucking hate it."

Ian's lips turned upright into a smirk as I ranted on about how much I hated him. I think he was getting a kick out of it. 

"Fuck! Fuck your boyfriend - now ex, Alan. Fuck your apologies, and fuck your work!"

Ian bit his lip as he tried to hold back his laughter. I was about to roll out of his bed, when he grabbed my arm, stopping me. 

"You have sex with me, you curse me out, and now you're leaving..." Ian chuckled. "I must be the biggest asshole on this planet."

"I'm glad you got the 411," I huffed jerking my hand away from him. 

"I love you too," he replied sarcastically as I grabbed my pants from the ground, and pulled them up to my waist. Ian handed me my shirt, as I picked my phone up from the ground. I had a missed call from Jeremy. I sighed at the sight of his name. I quickly shoved my phone in my pocket, before I disappeared out of Ian's room, moving quickly down the stairs. I could hear Ian's footsteps echo behind me.

"Are you sure you don't want the spend the night?" he asked as I reached the last step. "I'd love to hear more about how you hate how much you are in love with me."

I paused for a moment, flashing him the middle finger. Ian chuckled as I slammed the front door behind me, wrapping my arms around my chest as I walked back towards my house. 

My head and my heart was a mess. A part of me wanted Ian back more than ever, but the other part of me couldn't stop thinking about Jeremy. The last I ever wanted to do was to hurt him. Jeremy is my blondie. He's my Jer Bear. Jeremy was simple. Ian - he's complicated. I didn't need that complexity in my life right now. 

So I did what I did best - I avoided them both. Jeremy because I couldn't face after what I did with Ian, and Ian because - I just didn't want to deal with him right now. 

The good thing about Jeremy was that he was more than a few states over. I wish I could say the same about Ian. He was much harder to avoid, especially when your employed to him. 

"Ryder," My mother shouted as I pulled my covers over my head. I groaned as I heard the door to my bedroom swing open. She called my name again, as she knocked on the door. 

"I'm sorry - He's been like this all week," I heard her say. "I welcome you to try to get him out of bed. Ryder!? Get up!"

I heard the door close as footsteps echoed into my room. I didn't move an inch. Maybe if I didn't move, whoever it was, would go away. I huffed as soon as someone jerked the covers off of me. I glanced up to see Ian towering above my bed with a smile on his face. 

"Who let you in?" I muttered as I rubbed my eyes. 

"Your mother did," he explained. "I haven't heard from you in a few days, and I got worried. I just wanted to make sure you weren't dead. Also my pool is extremely dirty."

I rolled over, grabbing my covers back, and pulling them back up. "Find a new pool boy."

He went silent causing me to grow suspicious, so I glanced up at him to see he had my phone in his hand. I quickly jumped up, grabbing it. 

"Stop touching my shit," I huffed shoving it into my pocket. 

"I see you haven't been answering Jeremy's calls or texts," he commented, completely ignoring my previous comment. God. Didn't he ever hear of privacy? I don't just go through his phone without permission. 

"That's none of your business," I retorted as Ian ran his fingers down my back. 

"Have you thought about what I said?" Ian asked his eyes following mine. I rolled my eyes, shrugging at him. What was there to think about? I wasn't going to let myself get hurt by him again. That would be stupid. 

"Ok then," Ian replied running his fingers along his chin. "That's fair I guess. Let me know if you have a change of heart. I won't bother you again."

"Good," I muttered underneath my breath as his footsteps echoed towards my door. I turned onto my side, facing the wall, as the door closed behind him. I didn't bother watching him leave.