It was hard being around Ian, especially after I had that dream about him the other night. There was something about him. I wasn’t like that. I wasn’t into that type of thing, but there was this darkness inside of me that wanted to dance with the devil. I had never gone this far before. I ran my fingers through my hair, as I jogged down the street, trying to clear my head. It was late afternoon and I was the only one who jogged around this time. My eyes flickered almost automatically towards Ian’s house, when I passed by. It was unconsciously – a force of habit now.

I picked up the pace, sprinting until the house was a tiny speck in the distance. I glided into the park down the rocky path that most hiked on. I stopped resting my hands on my head, sucking in deep breaths of air.

“Ryder,” a voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Ashley Shilling, a girl that I had grown up with. Her hair was fashioned in a French braid and she was wearing a sports bra with jogger’s pants and sneakers. She must have just finished jogging.

“Ashley? Hey! What’s up? I didn’t know you were home for the summer,” I commented sliding my hands back down to my sides.

“I decided last minute,” she replied walking towards me. “You were out running I see. Still swimming?”

“Every morning but I felt like a run today,” I said glancing up at the sky. “It’s such a nice day.”

Ashley nodded. “Yeah. Well it was nice seeing you. I have to get home. It’s almost dinner soon, but we should hang out sometime.”

“Yeah definitely! Uh, can I walk you back?” I asked curiously. I had to get my mind off of him somehow. This seemed like the easiest way. Ashley and I chatted about the past as we walked towards Pear Street. She and I used to be really close, but then we left for college, which just so happened to be located on opposite ends of the country. When we made it onto her front lawn, she and I exchanged phone numbers.

“I’ll text you Ryder,” she smiled.

“Cool,” I replied. “Oh and tell your mom I said hi.”

“I will,” she called out as she closed the door to her house. I glanced at her number in my phone, before I shoved it deep into my pocket. Just as I was about to cross the street back towards my house, my eyes flickered over to Ian’s yard. He was outside, cutting his lawn. I folded my arms across my chest, watching as he pushed his lawnmower up and down the grass. He was wearing a black tank top that showed off his toned upper arms and shoulders. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with a rag that dangled from his back pocket. I had definitely lied when I said imagination was just as good as reality. Reality seemed a whole lot better now.

“Hey! Would you do mine next?” Miss Tillman called out giving Ian a flirtatious wink. It appeared I wasn’t the only one watching Ian. The widowed, divorced and separated were eyeing him like they had never seen a man before. I bit my lip, walking across to his yard. Ian stopped his lawnmower at the sight of me, standing to the side of it.

“Trying to run me out of business,” I joked. “Half the horny housewives are out drooling all over you.”

“Are you jealous?” he winked. “A little healthy competition never hurt anybody.”

“Competition? You have no chance. I’m young and hot. You’re old,” I retorted folding my arms across my chest. Ian chuckled, giving me a look of shock.

“Well,” he muttered. “These housewives would beg to differ especially Mrs. Tillman.”

“Whatever you say, Ian,” I smirked glancing back at her. She was fixing her makeup using the mirror on her bird bath.

“Do you by any chance fish?” he asked fixing his green eyes on mine. “I have a small boat and I’m going out tomorrow morning. You want to tag along?”

“Um – Yeah sure,” I nodded a little taken aback by the offer. This would mean that Ian and I would be alone, away from Pear Street. Just the thought made me slightly nervous. I shook the nervousness off as I walked back towards my house. Ian fired his lawnmower back up, as he continued mowing his lawn. I walked over towards my yard, opening the door to find my mom on the phone, talking loudly. I think she was on the phone with Phillip. I slid into my room, peering out my window, watching Ian, my mind on our fishing trip.

  What was I feeling nervous about? This wasn’t a date. I was acting like a complete chick. It was just two men going out fishing. There was absolutely nothing sexual about this. I mean it was completely natural for me to think about him. He’s like a father figure, right?

The following morning, I woke up, feeling excited about fishing. I hadn’t gone in a while, since my grandfather had passed away. He was a big fisher. I met Ian at his house where, we drove his truck over to the docks. The ride over was silent, thankfully the music had filled the space.

When we made it to the dock, I was slightly shocked. His boat was a pretty decent size. He definitely undersold it.

“That’s your boat,” I said pointing to it. “It’s not that small.”

“Small compared to the boats where I’m from,” Ian smirked, grabbing his supplies from out the trunk and handing it to me. I followed him onto the boat, as he did all of the preparations, directing me what to do. I simply did as I was told and before I knew it, he and I were out on the open water. I sat down on the side of the boat, prepping the poles as Ian steered. I glanced back at him for a moment, staring at his hands which were tightly gripped around the metal steering wheel. His eyes were gliding over the waves of the vast sea in front of us. I could feel my heart beginning to slightly beat in my chest as his eyes shifted to mine.

“You ready to fish, Ryder?” he asked as he turned the engine off. I nodded as I stuck a worm on the end of my hook, casting my line out just as my grandfather had taught me. Ian nodded with approval doing the same with his fishing pole.

“Where’d you learn to fish?” he asked his eyes fixed on his stopper that was gently swaying against the current.

“My grandfather taught me,” I explained, remembering that exact day in my mind. “He was a big fisher. It’s probably why I got into swimming. I’ve been around water my entire life.”

Ian made a sound of approval. “Sorry about your grandfather. It sounds like you two were close.”

“Yeah. You could say that. So how’s your book coming along?” Before Ian could answer, there was a tugging at my line. I stood up slowly, reeling it in quickly. Ian stared at me in shock as I pulled out a decent sized fish. I took it off the hook, tossing into Ian’s bucket, giving him a grin. I could tell he was impressed.

“You’re good at this,” he commented, looking at the fish in the bucket.

“I’m a man of many talents,” I boasted casting my line back out.

It was fun being out here with Ian away from everything and everyone. It was kind of the perfect opportunity to really get to know him. I tried to ask him as many questions that I could think of. Where he was born? Who had taught him how to fish? What was his favorite movie? I wanted to know everything about him. He was still a complete mystery to me and he always seemed to turn the conversation back onto me. From our fishing trip alone, I learned he was born in Pennsylvania, where he attended an all boy’s private school. All of his family was still there apparently. He had moved around quite a bit actually. He had a pretty interesting life as an author.

“God, I’m sweating,” Ian sighed, pulling his shirt over his head, as the sun started to expose itself from behind the clouds. I stared out at the sea, trying not to stare at his bare chest. But of course, I couldn’t help myself. My eyes drifted away from the stopper and onto the patch of hair on his chest. I bit down on my lip as he rested his pole in between his crotch, so he could take a sip from his water bottle.

“We should probably head back,” he said placing his pole down. “I think we’ve caught enough.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, reeling my line back in and placing my pole down as well. “But before we do, I want to do something.”

“What?” Ian said turning around just in time to see me jump right out of the boat and into the ocean. The ice cold water instantly cooled down my skin. As soon as I resurfaced, Ian extended a hand to me.

“Come on out of there before you get swept away by the current,” he ushered.  As soon as I grabbed his hand, I jerked it forward, pulling him in the ocean water. Ian scoffed, letting out a deep laugh as he pushed his hair out of his face.

“You had it coming,” I shrugged as he shook his head at me, giving me a look that said he was going to get me back.

“This water is freezing,” he huffed as I swam towards him. “I think I can feel fish nibbling on my toes. I’m going to get you back for this, Ryder.”

I laughed as I swam up behind him, stopping when I was literally an inch away from him. “I look forward to it.”

Ian turned around quickly, our eyes locking onto each other’s for a moment. A lump formed in my throat as my heart started pounding against my chest resembling the sound of a fist hitting against a drum. Butterflies found a home in my stomach as I slowly leaned in towards him. Just as our lips were about to touch, a person on a jet ski zoomed past, sending a mass of waves at us. Ian cleared his throat, sliding back onto the boat. I climbed back on right after him, wringing my shirt out, as he revved the engine up. Neither of us said a word as he steered us back to the dock.

I was feeling slightly embarrassment. I wasn’t sure if it was just me who wanted it or not. I couldn’t remember if Ian had leaned in. Had I misread the signals? If he wanted to kiss me, wouldn’t he have just done it? This was stupid. Why didn’t I want to kiss him anyways?

The ride back to Pear Street was even quieter the boat ride. I stared out the window, trying to figure out what Ian was thinking. I could feel him staring at me every so often. Maybe I should just act like it never happened.

“Thanks for taking me out on the boat,” I said cutting into the silence that had filled the truck. “It was fun.”

Ian gripped the steering wheel, nodding in agreement. “Yeah. No problem.”

I sighed when we pulled back up to the all too familiar Pear Street. Kids had already crowded the streets and all of the neighbors were outside. Mrs. Tillman had her eyes locked on mine, as soon as I exited Ian’s car. She waved me over, a smile appearing on her face as soon as she caught sight of Ian.

“Yes Mrs. Tillman,” I said shoving my hands into my pocket. However, she was too busy eye fucking Ian to realize that I was standing in front of her. As soon as I repeated myself, she shifted her focus on me.

“I see you and Ian have been spending a lot of time together,” she commented resting her hands on her hips. “I was wondering if maybe you could tell me a few things about him. He’s playing hard to get, but I know he wants me. He’s just shy.”

Her eyes lit up as soon as she said that. So Mrs. Tillman wasn’t giving up on Ian that easily. I chewed on lower lip as my mind flickered through our almost kiss. I could feel my chest begin to burn as I pushed it out of my mind. But I couldn’t help, but wonder what it would be like to kiss those soft lips of his and to run my fingers through that chestnut brown hair of his. I understood now why Mrs. Tillman wasn’t giving up on him. Ian was a catch.

“Come on, Ryder, I’ll pay you a bit extra if you give me anything good,” she offered practically begging me.

“Sure if I find anything out I’ll tell you,” I lied, walking back over to Ian’s yard. He was about halfway done placing his fishing supplies back into the garage, when I grabbed the rest of it and carried it back for him.

“Thanks,” he said wiping his dirty hands onto his damp jeans. I shoved my hands into the back of my pocket, awkwardly standing in the middle of his garage as I tried to put my thoughts together. All I could think about was kissing him. I wanted to know what it would be like and if his lips were as soft as I had imagined them to be.  Without a second thought, I acted on impulse like I always do. I followed him into his house, and just as he was about to say something, I pressed my lips against his.

My heart was racing and I could barely feel my hands. Hell I had no idea what to do with my hands. This was all new to me. I’m sure Ian was just as shocked as I was. I was about to pull away, when he took control, deepening the kiss. His strong arms wrapped around my waist, pushing me up against his kitchen counter.

Slowly my heart slowed down, as my hands relaxed, falling onto the kitchen counter. After a minute or two, Ian pulled away from me, leaving me in a state of confusion and arousal. There was no doubt about it. I was into Ian and it kind of scared me. I had never done this before with a guy. I mean sure I imagined what it would be like, but I thought all guys had those stupid “what if” scenarios. Imagination had become reality and it was kind of frightening, but exciting at the same time like getting on a roller coaster for the first time. I immediately glanced down at the ground, shoving my hands deep in my pocket, avoiding eye contact with Ian.  

“I should get going,” I muttered quickly walking out his house without another word. Ian didn’t stop me either. I practically ran to my house, slamming the front door shut behind me. My mother and Phil’s voice echoed through the house, as soon as I rushed up the stairs.

“Ryder? Is that you?” I heard my mother say. I closed my door quietly behind me, not really wanting to have a conversation with either of them. I flicked my TV on as soon as she knocked on my door, walking in before I had even answered.

“I thought you were home,” she said folding her arms across her chest. “How was fishing with Ian?”

“Good,” I mumbled, quickly changing the topic of conversation. “Did I hear Phil?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “He just came back from his business trip. Dinner is ready if you’re hungry.”

“I’m not really hungry,” I mumbled glancing at my TV. My mother stayed in my room for a minute as if she was about to say something, but she changed her mind, walking out. I sighed with relief as the door slammed shut behind her. I didn’t want to talk about my trip with Ian. If I did then I had to acknowledge that I had feelings for Ian. I felt like I didn’t even know myself anymore.

It was confusing. I mean I thought I liked girls but after kissing Ian, I wasn’t so sure anymore. I had never felt like this before, not with any of my girlfriends. This was a different feeling.