I only cleaned Ian’s pool once a week. I always saved it for last, and rushed through the job. If I rushed, I could come in, clean the pool and finish it before Alan came home. Ian was always home though. He was unavoidable considering he worked from home. Apparently he was working on a new novel.

If it was a sequel to J.R., then I should expect to see my character get killed off and replaced by an older character with model looks. But at least my death would be written tastefully.

The first few times I came over to clean Ian’s pool, I didn’t see him at all. He left his fence open for me, and the money in the mailbox. I always did have the sense that he was watching me though.

But, If Ian wanted his space, I’d give it to him. I knew eventually he’d come around. He couldn’t stay away from me as much as he liked to. He had said it himself. He liked Alan, but – Well, he never actually finished that statement – But I imagine, when he was with Alan he felt like he was missing something.

I wanted Ian. I mean I was in love with him, and a few months ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated to have what we had in the summer. But there was something about Jeremy. I really liked Jeremy. He and I had gone through so much this past semester. I couldn’t even begin to explain.

Surprisingly, it was Jeremy who made the first move.

Jeremy had dragged my drunk and sloppy ass back to our dorm from some party at the frat he was pledging at. Jeremy knew I was bisexual. I had gone to him plenty of times about my issues with Ian. He always listened to me, and gave me advice whether I wanted it or not.

“Shit!” I chuckled as Jeremy pulled me up by my shirt to my door. “I can’t remember my code, Jer.”

“Stop fucking around, Ryder and open the door,” Jeremy growled, obviously unamused by my antics. I ran my fingers through his hair for a moment, staring into his dark blue eyes.

“I never noticed how blue your eyes are,” I commented as I slid my hands down his waist and onto his ass. Jeremy shoved me off of him, letting me fall to the ground outside of my room.

“Stop it, Ryder,” he huffed, his face a bright red. “God. You’re so gay sometimes.”

“Oh take the stick out of your ass, I was only kidding,” I said loudly, laughing to myself. Jeremy stared at me like I was a crazy person. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, glancing at the screen for a moment. I scrolled through my phone, my finger stopping on Ian’s name. Jeremy snatched the phone from my hand, just as I was about to dial.

“No drunk dialing,” he said as he pulled me towards his room. “Come on, you drunk idiot. I guess you’ll just have to sleep in my room.”

I groaned as he dragged me down the hall into his dorm room. I leaned on his shoulder as he typed his code in, pushing the door open. He led me to his bed, sitting me down on top of it as the door swung shut behind us. I rested my head on his pillow, as I kicked my shoes off.

“So how many times have you gotten lucky on this bed?” I winked as it squeaked underneath me. “Oh. That must get super annoying. How do you even do it with that squeaking sound? I’m barely even moving around and it’s squeaking. Your neighbors must hate you.”

“Oh they do,” Jeremy bragged as he jumped onto the foot of the bed. “I get more ass than a toilet seat.”

“Oh really,” I asked as I lied on my back, pushing my arms underneath my head. “Give me some names, blondie.”

Jeremy scoffed, brushing me off. “It doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t know them anyways.”

I laughed. “Yeah. Because they aren’t real. You’re probably still a virgin.”

Jeremy went silent, folding his arms across his chest. I raised an eyebrow, as I sat up, pressing my back against the wall beside him.

“Oh no,” I chuckled as I poked him in his cheek. “You are a virgin, aren’t you? Jeremy’s a virgin. Jeremy’s a virgin.”

“Shut up, Ryder,” he spat, shoving me. “Girls are into that sort of thing.”

“Who told you that? Your mom,” I teased drunkenly as I licked the dryness off of my lips.

“I really wish I knew the code to your room,” Jeremy huffed. “God, you’re such an asshole when you’re drunk.”

“Oh you love me,” I retorted as I shoved my hands into his pocket, trying to get my phone back. He wrestled me for it, pushing me down on his bed as he tried to grab it from my hands. Dial tones sounded as his hand smashed against the buttons.

“Give it to me,” Jeremy growled as I smacked him in the face by accident with my elbow. “Ouch! Bastard! Give me, Ryder.”

“Oh come on! One call! One call!” I huffed as his hand crashed against mine, sending my phone flying across the room and against the wall. My mouth dropped open as I heard it crack against the floor. I fell off of the bed, quickly scrambling to the ground to grab it.

“Fuck,” I shouted glancing at the screen. “Jer! You broke it! The screen is all screwed up.”

“Not my fault,” he shrugged. “What happened to friends don’t let friends drunk dial? You said it yourself.”

“What if he calls? Now I can’t answer him,” I muttered as I threw the phone at Jeremy. It missed him by a good two feet. I had horrible aim when I was drunk.

“He’d have to call for you to answer,” Jeremy retorted. “He hasn’t called you in weeks, Ryder. Face it. He’s probably found someone else. You’ve got to move on.”

I sucked my teeth as I sat back on the bed beside him. I hated when he was right. Ian hadn’t and probably wouldn’t call me. After that argument, we had, I wouldn’t be surprised.

I didn’t want to be the first to call either. If I called first, then I would be admitting that I was in the wrong. He should call. He was the one who wasn’t taking the time to see me.

I hated that we weren’t a couple anymore. I should have pushed further for us to stay in a relationship. Maybe he’d make the attempt at visiting me if I had.

“I can’t move on,” I retorted. “I can’t. You don’t understand. You’ve never been in love with anyone before.”

Jeremy sighed, taking a deep breath. “Yes I do. I know exactly how you feel, Ryder.”

“I’m talking about a real person and not someone you’ve only met through the computer screen,” I huffed, glancing briefly at Jeremy to see that he was staring at me. He had that dazed look in his eyes again.

“What?” I said. “Something on my face.”

“No,” Jeremy quickly replied, leaning towards me. He brought his hands to my face, as he pressed his lips against mine softly. I wrapped my arms around his waist, taking control. I pushed my tongue in between in his lips, deepening it as I pressed my body against his. His hands fell into my hair as soft moans crept out of his throat.

I missed this. I missed being close to someone – touching, holding, kissing. I could feel my body heating up with excitement as Jeremy’s lips moved in synch with my own. I slid my hands onto his ass first, gripping it tightly.

I had never seen Jeremy in this way before. Sure, he was attractive. But I had never imagined in a million years that he was even remotely interested in me. Hell, I didn’t even know he was gay.

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe I was lonely. But I wanted Jeremy all of a sudden.

And I wanted him bad.

After I moved dangerously close to Jeremy’s crotch, he pulled away from me, catching his breath.

“Whoa Ryder,” he breathed grabbing my hands. “Slow down. It took me like six weeks to even kiss you. I haven’t even gotten to the speech I’ve been practicing for weeks now.”

“There’s a speech?” I asked as I adjusted myself in my jeans.

“Forget it,” Jeremy sighed. “It doesn’t matter. You won’t remember any of this in the morning. Let’s just go back to making out. But this time, keep your hands off of my junk.”

“Oh come on!” I retorted. “I’m not that drunk. I want to hear the speech!”

Again, Jeremy was right, and I was wrong. I was drunk. I don’t even remember hearing the speech. Hell, I didn’t even remember making out with Jeremy or breaking my phone.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Jeremy’s ringer. I was surprised to find Jeremy lying beside me. He groaned as he grabbed his phone from off of his desk, answering it quickly. It was one of his frat brothers, shouting at him to go to the house and help his fellow pledges clean it up. The phone wasn’t even on speaker and I could hear him.

“What happened last night?” I groaned as I sat up in Jeremy’s bed. “How did I get in your bed?”

Jeremy glanced at me, as he ran his fingers through his hair for a moment. “You got drunk. I broke your phone. We made out. I confessed my feelings for you. We went to sleep.”

“Real funny, Jer. What really happened?” I huffed as I rubbed my eyes. Jeremy rolled his eyes as he handed me my phone. I glanced at it as pieces of last night came back to me. Jeremy wasn’t lying. And for a moment, I was speechless. It was too early. I had just woken up. I had no idea what to say. My best friend had confessed that he had feelings for me last night and I didn’t even remember. So, I said the first thing that came to mind.

“Want to get brunch?” I blurted out as my stomach growled.

“I have to clean the house,” Jeremy replied as he pulled a shirt over his head. I rolled out of his bed, glancing down at my legs to see I had no pants on. Jeez. How far did Jeremy and I go last night?

“Um,” I said as I glanced around my room. “Where are my pants?”

“Beats me,” Jeremy shrugged. “You hid them last night.”

I raised an eyebrow, as I searched around his room. “Why the hell did I do that?”

“Well you were determined to have sex with me,” he retorted. “You were shouting about wanting to be my first. Apparently it was your obligation as my best friend.”

I really needed to slow it down with the drinking. Everything was a foggy memory last night. As he was explaining to me what happened, bits and pieces came back. I can’t believe I had been such a shit show.

“I’m sorry, Jeremy,” I apologized. “I’m an idiot especially when I’m drunk. I owe you big time.”

“Yeah you do,” Jeremy retorted. “See you later. Hope you find your pants.”

Jeremy never told me the speech again. Apparently, once was embarrassing enough. It sucked that I couldn’t remember it, because I would have loved to see Jeremy’s face when he was confessing his undying love to me. Hell, I wonder what he even said. If only I hadn’t been drunk. I’d pay to go back in time and see that moment between the two of us.

It must have been super awkward. Maybe one day I could convince Jeremy to tell me exactly what he said.

 After that night, I knew things wouldn’t be same with Jeremy and I. Even though I drunkenly made out with him, we didn’t exactly get together right away. It was almost as if that night never happened. I didn’t talk about it. Jeremy, sure as hell, didn’t bring it up.

Everything returned to normal. Well, we pretended as if everything returned to normal. I would catch Jeremy’s lingering eyes and his deep stares. He was trying to act normal, but he was incapable of it. A week or two after, I called him out on it.

“Ok Jeremy we seriously need to talk,” I huffed. “You’ve been acting weird.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes as he laughed. “No I haven’t. I’ve just been in deep thought.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Sure. Talk to me.”

Jeremy sighed as he sat up, glancing down at the ground. “Fine. Fine. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to ask you out. Ryder, I - I want to be your boyfriend.”

Well I didn’t expect that. Boyfriend? I was thinking he just wanted to fool around some more. I was not expecting him to drop the B-word on me. I knew he liked me, but I didn’t think it was that serious.

“Oh,” I replied awkwardly. “Jeremy, I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t like you. It’s just your my only good friend and I don’t want to ruin that. If you haven’t noticed, I’m really good at ruining relationships.”

“I don’t care,” Jeremy retorted. “I like you, Ry, and I want to be with you. You’re funny. You’re smart. You’re an idiot sometimes. But I like that about you. Give us a chance. Oh gosh - That didn’t sound so sappy in my head.”

I grinned as I ruffled Jeremy’s hair. “Oh, but it was.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes as he gripped my chin in his hand, pressing his lips softly against mine. He was so nervous, he was practically shaking. I took his hand squeezing it in my mine as I kissed him back. There was a new feeling in chest besides the normal emptiness. I actually had butterflies in my stomach. I hadn’t had that feeling since Ian.

And from that day forward, Jeremy and I were officially boyfriends.