Jeremy knew I was ignoring him. It had gotten to the point where my voicemail box was filled with messages from him. The first few messages started off angry and hurt, and now the last couple were almost remorseful. He was begging me to answer his calls. Whatever I did - he would forgive me, as long as I answered the phone. I was too much of a coward to do that though. So I left my voicemail box fill up with his messages.

I was conflicted. Was it possible to be in love with two people so much? I never should have sucked Jeremy into this shitty life of mine. He knew I wasn't good for him. Why did he even bother with me? He should of known I would fuck this up.

I lied across my bed as my laptop chimed beside me. I glanced at the screen to see I was getting a Skype from Jeremy. I let it ring, slamming my laptop shut as soon as it finished.

It was wrong to run away from my issues. I knew that. I knew that I shouldn't be ignoring him. It was only dragging out the inevitable, but I couldn't look at him knowing that I did what I did. I couldn't hear his voice or look at those blue eyes of his. It would only make everything that much worse.

I knew I would have to face him one day. But today wouldn't be that day or any other day this week. Maybe even the whole summer. Ok - I'm exaggerating.

"Ryder," my mom's voice echoed through the hallway, causing me to pull my covers over my head. Her voice grew louder as she drew closer to my bedroom door. I could hear her groaning as soon as she reached the door.

"Stop being so lazy, Ryder," she huffed grabbing my covers and tossing them off of me. "You need to get out of bed sometime. Don't you have pools to clean?"

"No," I mumbled dryly from my pillow. Just as my mother was about to complain some more, my phone chimed. I glanced around my room for a moment, forgetting exactly where I had put it. I jumped out of bed as soon as I saw my mother pick it up from the ground.

"Mom, Don't - " I began but it was too late. She had already hit the answer button. I chewed on my lower lip, as soon as she said hello. I was praying it wasn't Jeremy. But I knew that would be a lost cause considering he had been calling on the hour for the past week.

"Yeah Ryder is here," my mom replied raising an eyebrow at me, before handing the phone over to me. My stomach twisted in knots as soon as I glanced at the screen to see Jeremy's name. Fuck.

"Hello," I muttered into the phone to silence. "Jeremy."

"No It's Ian," Ian's voice echoed through the phone. I glanced back at the screen. How in the hell did he have Jeremy's phone?

"What are you doing with Jeremy's - ?" I began but was cut off by Ian.

"Come over here now," he said before the phone disconnected. I groaned, rushing to my closet to throw anything on. I didn't bother running a comb through my hair. I was too anxious to figure out what was happening. Jeremy couldn't have possibly gone to Ian's house. I rushed out of the house in an instant.

I didn't even need to knock on the door, as it was wide open already. I walked inside, closing the door behind me.

"Ian," I called out as I walked through the house. I stopped almost immediately in the living room. Ian was standing a few feet away from Jeremy who was sitting on the couch. I could feel my stomach turning at the sight of him.

He glanced at me, his blue eyes flickering to the ground. He felt betrayed. It was obvious. No doubt it cost him a lot to get here. I ran my fingers across my chin as Ian sighed.

"Well, are you two going to talk or just sit here looking at each other?" he said breaking into the thick silence that had filled the room. I chewed on my lower lip as I walked closer to Jeremy.

"Jeremy, can we take a walk?" I asked. The last thing Jeremy needed was to be sitting in Ian's house when I confessed that I had cheated on him. I think the confession would sting just a little bit more if Ian was hovering around our conversation.

Ian stared at the two of us, as Jeremy followed me out the front door. I led him down the street towards the woods that I had spent most of last summer in. It was still my sanctuary. It had always been. He followed me down the small dirt path to the clearing where the lake was.I thought by the time we had made it to lake, I would have figured out how to tell him. But I hadn't come up with anything.

There was no nice way to break this to him.

"Jeremy," I began my eyes staring out into the murky lake water. I couldn't even look at him. It would only make this that much harder.

"I'm so sorry," I continued glancing back at him for a second. "I didn't mean to make you come down this far. I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls. I couldn't. Don't you get it? I didn't want to do this to you. I never wanted to hurt you. You know that right? I told you from the beginning that this would be a mistake."

Jeremy scoffed as he grabbed my arms, and turned me towards him. "You're an idiot, Ryder. You're an idiot if you think that asshole cares about you. He doesn't. You'll never be happy with him. Don't do this. Don't make this mistake again. I won't let you."

I shook my head. "Jeremy, I - "

He cut me off. "Ryder, please listen to me. You're not thinking straight, okay. Just think about how you felt last year. You know how many times I had to hear about Ian. Why won't he call me? Why did he do this to me? Why - Did you tell him any of this? Huh. Does he even know how depressed he made you? Please Ryder. I'm begging you, if you want to break up with me, break up with me. Just don't go back to him."

"Jer - I cheated on you," I said quietly. "I slept with Ian. That's why I didn't call you. I can't stay away from him. I try so hard to, but I can't. I'm in love with him, Jer. I tried to convince myself I wasn't, but I am."

The expression on Jeremy's face changed as soon as I said that. He was about to say something, but he stopped himself.

"Fine," he muttered as he ran his fingers through his blonde hair. "Just promise me that you won't call me, Ryder. If he hurts you, don't come crying to me because I won't listen - not anymore. I'm done."

Having said that, he walked away from me back down the dirt path. I didn't follow him. There was no point. He had said what he wanted to say, and I had said what I wanted to.

I walked back towards my house, replaying the entire conversation between Jeremy and I over and over again in my head. I still couldn't believe it. It was actually over between us. Jeremy would probably never speak to me again. The only good friend that I had in college.

You fucked up again, Ryder.

I chewed on my lower lip, trying to fight back the tears that so desperately wanted to escape. I took a few deep breaths trying to remain calm, but I couldn't do it. Every part of me want to break down.

Was I right to break up with Jeremy?

Should I go back to Ian? What if Jeremy was right about Ian? Was I attached to someone who didn't give a shit about me? Would I leave again for college and would Ian just forget about me?

All these question floated around in my head to the point where I starting to feel nauseous. My head was spinning, and I couldn't think straight. All I could hear was the sound of my heart racing.

Next thing I knew I was sitting on Ian's couch, not quite remembering how I got there. Ian was sitting beside me, typing away on his laptop. I was about to stand up, but he stopped me.

"No, sit down," Ian urged me, pulling me back down on the couch. "You shouldn't get up yet. You fainted, you know."

I had worked myself up so much, I had fainted outside. I could imagine the hysteria I must have brought the neighbors. I was probably already the talk of the neighborhood by now.

"Don't I get a thank you?" Ian smirked running his fingers through my hair. "You know I nearly pulled a muscle in my back carrying you in here." I sighed, mumbling a quick thanks. I folded my arms across my chest as I lied there, listening to the sound of Ian typing away. This felt all too familiar. Me sitting here, while he worked on another story. It was all he ever cared about - Hell, it might even be the only thing he cared about.

"You're quiet," Ian finally commented after a few minutes. "I'm guessing things with the boyfriend didn't work out."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You guess things didn't work out? Of course they didn't, asshole. Aren't you happy? You won, Ian. I'm back here. I'm all yours all over again. Of course until I leave for my senior year of college. After that, you'll go around fucking whoever you feel like."

Ian shook his head. "That's not true."

"Yes it is," I spat. "You don't care about anything but your stupid novels. Admit it, Ian. That's why you don't have any relationships that last longer than five months."

Ian closed his laptop shut, placing it on his table. "You're mad. I get it. Don't take it out on me. You made your choice, Ryder. I didn't force you to do anything you didn't want to do. You chose to ignore your boyfriend. You chose to break up with him."

"That's a gotdamn lie! You practically forced me to have sex with you," I retorted not realizing that I was standing at this point. "I had no choice but to break up with him."

"I forced you," Ian repeated his hazel green eyes locked on mine. "I never heard the word no come out of your mouth once. You could have left at any time, Ryder. You're just upset because you can't control yourself around me. You don't have the self-control, and that's why you broke up with your boyfriend. You were tired of lying to yourself, and trying to convince yourself that you didn't love me. But let's face it, Ryder, you love me. You always have, and you know what I love you too. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone my entire life. If I didn't I wouldn't have gone through all the trouble to get you back."

"I don't believe you," I replied shaking my head.

Ian sighed, taking my hand in his. "I'll just have to prove it to you, then."