Chapter 36. Love yourself.

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Kyrah
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"Alright that's all I can tell you." He said as he got up from the bed.

"What? You only gave me on piece of information. I need to know some more."

"His name is enough information. Google it..trust me. All you wanna know about him gon pop up. It's probably gonna be shit you don't like either." He said.

"It's more than 1 Sebastian Williams. How am I gonna know which one is him?"

"Cuz he gon be the first mugshot that pops up."

Damn.

His phone rung in his pocket and he pulled it out to answer it.

"Speak......y'all can't handle the shit without me?.......damn y'all scary asses don't know how to do shit....aight i'm comin."

He hung up the phone and looked at me. "Where Tariq at?"

"Whatchu gotta go handle?" I regretted asking that after seeing the look on his face.

"Business. Now where my son?"

"He's playing basketball with his cousins outside." I said.

He left the room and I sat on the bed.

Sebastian Williams

I'm gonna google him like he told me too. Later though, when we're back at home and I'll be able to concentrate more.

I tucked my phone in my pocket and walked out of the room.

I feel like a lost kid in a grocery store.

I don't know anybody here at all. Everybody is laughing and having a good time.

My anti social ass does not know how to walk up to somebody and make a conversation. Tariq just tossed me to the side leaving me alone.

You know what. I'm just gonna get an uber back to the hotel.

I'm not in the mood for none of this shit.

••••••••••••••••

I didn't even realize I fell asleep until I woke up. I stretched and let out a yawn before getting up to use the bathroom. As I reached for the doorknob I stopped and looked around.

...i'm in my old room at my house.

How the hell did I end up back here?

I could hear the t.v playing in the living room. The t.v would only play if somebody was in there watching it.

I opened the door and walked out slowly. I hear two female voices laughing in the living room.

I looked at Mike's door, I could hear his t.v playing too. But I always left it on after he died.

"Finally the birthday girl is up!"

I nearly just jumped out of my skin just now.

There she stood. My mother...well...foster mother.

"Uhh..um...I-"

"You okay?" She asked, checking my forehead with the back of her hand.

I flinched a little when I seen her hand raise up.

"Girl what is wrong with you?" She asked again.

"It is your birthday and you acting like you just sniffed a line a coke." She said.

I'm so confused. What is going on?

"What day is it?" I asked her. Trying to get an understanding of what's happening.

"December 18, 2018. You're birthday?"

2018?!

"Wha-"

The door knob turned on Mike's door.

Nah, this can't be real.

"Damn is there a family gathering going on at my door?" He smartly joked.

"Boy hush. Something's wrong with your sister...maybe you can see what's wrong with her. Y'all know everything about each other." She pushed passed us and went to her room.

Looking at Mike...just seeing him alive makes me want to bawl my eyes out.

"Mike..." my voice trailed off.

"Whoa sis, what's wrong?" He said as he pulled me into a hug.

I can't even describe how i'm feeling. I'm feeling so many emotions right now it's crazy.

"Wanna talk about it outside? Cuz I know mama nosey ass listening behind that door."

"No I ain't!"

"Uglahh." He said. I laughed at his remark while shaking my head.

I followed him outside to the front porch. Everything seemed more brighter outside than usual.

We both sat on the porch swing. "So what's wrong?" He asked.

How am I even gonna explain what's wrong with me to him? He's gonna think i'm crazy.

"I can't explain it."

He sighed. "Just one of them days?"

"Yeah." I replied.

He nodded. "It's a beautiful day outside today isn't it?"

I looked at him and noticed he was glowing a little. "Yeah...it is."

"I know this is random what i'm about to say but I just wanna tell you this." he said.

"What is it?"

"Everybody knows I don't play behind my lil sis. You know I'll put a bullet in somebody brain behind you right?"

"You can't be out here killing folks behind lil ole me."

"I'm dead ass serious. Don't let these niggas play with you bruh. You too smart for these niggas. The only way you don't let niggas play with you is if you respect yourself and have enough love and morals for yourself before you allow yourself to fall in a trap. It starts with you first. And when you meet that special someone...hopefully that shit be never cuz-"

"Anyways!" I cut him off. Over protective ass.

"Whenever you meet the one. Make sure you love yourself first, before you go off trying to love somebody else."

I carefully listened to the advice he was telling me. He was right. Like always. Even though he's always being goofy, he always would give the most random but best advice for anybody to hear.

"Mike?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Am I dreaming?"

He gave me a small smile. "Yeah. You're dreaming lil sis. You're about to wake up too."

"You must've seen me and Tariq's situation."

"Yeah. He loves you, he just don't know how to express it. Give it some time. But remember my advice. Love yourself first."

He started glowing brighter and looking at him was getting harder.

"I miss you...why can't you just come back? I can't do this by myself." I said as a tear slipped down from my cheek.

"Why did they have to take you away from me." I said with anger in my voice now.

"Why did they take you?" I sniffed.

"They didn't take me away from you. I'm always watching over you. I'm always with you sis. You're about to wake up now...remember what I said."

I woke up with tears running down my face. I sat up in my bed and just let the sobs come out. I let all the pain I've been holding in for a long time just release from out of me.

I'm gonna change and i'm gonna change for the better. No more depressed Kyrah.

I'm gonna learn how to love myself and how to be happy.

Nobody is about to get in the way of that.

If that means loosing Tariq in the process then so be it. I need to work on me first.

Make sure you love yourself first before you go off loving somebody else.

A/n: updating again tonight. This chapter was gonna be about Kyrah searching for her dad, which is still gonna happen, but I decided to make it more heartfelt because I just felt like she needed advice. Especially from the person she loves the most. Her brother Mike. Do y'all want a face claim for him? or y'all good.
things are gonna change...wild shit is about to happen. People will be tested.
Warning you now.
sorry for the late ass update.
one word.
school.
2 other words.
writer's block.
anyways.
hopefully you enjoyed this chapter. I admit it's kinda ehhhh..next chapter gon be better.
sorry it's so short too.

January 15, 2020

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