"Naime, why do I have to hear around the Harem that you meet with Kemankes? You know those things are inappropriate," Murad said as I sat together with him on his terrace on the breakfast next day as he invited me.

I knew reason for this was Ayse who's pride was hurt yesterday and I simply didn't care anymore about her wish to involve into my life because Murad could never do something bad to me because of something my mother ordered to do.

"I did my brother, because Valide made an investigation about my late husband's death and Kemankes Pasha is the one who is assigned to this, so he asked me about some things and I answered him," I said knowing this would hurt no one and Valide had the right to start the investigation because Murad haven't started it.

"I don't know why did she start it when we all know how he died. It hurts me to see how she doesn't believe any of her children, neither to me nor to you, nor our sisters," Murad said showing his sadness about everything since in last time he wasn't on really good terms with mother since she really wanted her power back and she started to work behind his back which obviously made him angry even more, but as every child it hurt us when our mother was like that.

"At the end he was a statesman and Valide did a good thing doing the official investigation, you shouldn't be angry because of this on her," I said and patted his arm hoping he would be calm about this situation because with Murad we never knew what is going to happen and if he is going to become angry at least important thing.

At that exact moment our Valide entered the terrace and came to sit next to us. When she walked she looked at me in a kind of weird way which I didn't know why was and she changed her behaviour towards me so early when I came.

"Valide, we were just talking about your investigation. I wonder what results did you get to the end?" Murad asked and Valide looked at me once again and in her eyes I saw a madness because I told this to Murad but nothing bad would happen from him knowing that. When she didn't believe me then she must know I won't be here easy to accuse the things on.

"He died because of alcohol, as it had happened. It is great I found here out you both because you know two months passed since his death so Naime you should remarry again since you are still very young," she said and my nerves were already working like crazy and that was thing that was in common to me and Murad because we get angry really fast.

"I think it's early yet, I want my son Mehmed to be here peacefully for some time and to recover from his father's death," I said and looked at Murad with sadness in my eyes which I knew he would understand as no one else and I knew how to behave in front of him like no other sister knew because we were the same and I knew what he wanted to see or what to hear.

I was so angry on Valide because she wanted already to remarry me again for someone she chooses and probably send me far away from here as she did for the last time because she wants to have all the power in her hands without us interrupting her.

"I agree with Naime, but mother is right. You should remarry soon, we can wait for few more months of course, but Valide you should start choosing potential husbands because you can give me a suggestion, but I will chose her husband this time and she has to agree with it," Murad said making me feel at least a bit easy because he would have to agree with that and I knew he would listen to me if I was against that marriage, and I would be against every marriage.

"I will have that in my mind of course," Valide said with a bitter smile before she left and she knew how Murad and I were similar and that with me she won't be able to do what she has done to every other her daughter which listened to her without any complaining.

I returned to my chambers where my son Mehmed was and he seemed really sad. It hurt my heart seeing my 7 years old son so sad and I decided to dedicate all my free time to spend with him because he deserved all the love of his world.

"My love what is making you so sad?" I asked as I placed him in my lap and kissed his forehead and hugged him to make him feel better because I was so sad when he was sad. He was my only one I had and only one I loved.

"I don't like here, I was with aunts Atike and Gevherhan today and they were just fighting, I am sad when they fight like you and dad used to," he said and tears went down his face and I knew he had trauma how Kemal was yelling on me in front of him for the whole time and I wanted to give my everything to forget those scenes and delete them from Mehmed's mind.

"My love, I don't want you to talk to others how I and dad fought. No one should know this, and everyone will be sad. Of course you don't want others to be sad," I said and he nodded affirmative with his head.

"And you won't be sad anymore about those things. Most important is that we are here together and we must be happy here in Istanbul. Your grandma is here, your aunts and uncles and your cousins. You can always play with Ahmed and Hanzade whenever you want," I said and kissed his forehead.

"Sultanim, someone is waiting for you in the Summer Gardens, they said to me to tell you that," Elmas, one of my new maids in Istanbul said to me as I didn't know who it might be but still I wanted to know and I knew nothing bad might happen in the Palace because my staff is always here around knowing what is happening.

I dressed my outside coat and went to the Summer Gardens taking care that no one sees because it was enough of Ayse's talks to Murad about where I go. I came there and on my surprise I once again saw Kemankes there waiting for me.

"What's the matter Kemankes that you wish to see me?" I asked him as I was really surprised that he called me without having any fear that someone could see him or me going there and putting us in big trouble or once again it was something my mother planned.

"Did it surprise you that I called for you?" He asked me as he walker closer to me and he wasn't really distanced from me which made me feel really weird and I knew I shouldn't be this close to him and he shouldn't even look at me.

"I am surprised yes, and I wanted to thank you for choosing the right option about what will you tell to my mother," I said and he smiled to me but that smile seemed like is from heart which made me feel so weird in a man's presence because only man I have ever been in presence of was Kemal and harem aghas.

"I called you because I couldn't keep that to myself. I really was thinking should I lie to Kosem Sultana or not, but something both in my heart and my mind told me to lie for you, and it bothers me that I don't know why I have done something like this," he said and stepped one more step closer to me while I wanted to distance myself a bit because I knew someone might come, but I didn't.

"As you know I serve your mother for few years and it's widely known I'm loyal to her, and this is the first time I did something like this because of you Sultana," Kemankes said and looked me deep in the eyes and this whole eye contact with me made me feel so weak that I had to return to Earth and step back and look away.

"I didn't mean to say anything inappropriate," Kemankes said as he seemed kinda afraid with my reaction as it happened really quick and I haven't said anything.

"I am thankful to you for doing this for me. I know no one else would do something like this, or better to say I think no one else wouldn't be able just from my voice understand whether I'm telling the truth or not," I smiled and for the whole time the weak feeling in his presence bothered me so much because I couldn't allow myself to feel like that.

"If you need anything Sultana, I want you to know that you can always count on me, whenever you want," he said.

"Thank you," I smiled having once again eye contact with him before leaving and feeling some weird emotion in my chest which I haven't felt anytime in my life, and I didn't want to have that feeling.