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I tried my best.

Leisa Thomas

I had survived half the day at school, surprisingly. Although I had found a way to spend a majority of it in the library as opposed to being in class, at least I was still on the property. So basically, it wasn't technically skipping. Right?

I stood by my locker with my group of girls, they chatted about some girl fight that went down yesterday after school then switched the topic to Kodak finally being free for like the 234095876 time. I was too busy checking my phone, I hadn't gotten any message from Elijah as yet. He had been posting snapchats, insta stories and even had the nerve to tweet but still no answer. I was an idiot.

I had seen that he had dropped a link to a new music video in one of his tweets and before I could click it, my phone died. I wasn't surprised because I had been on it all day, waiting for that one reply.

"Earth to Leisa." One of my girls said, waving her hand in my face. I looked up instantly then over in the direction she was pointing at. Joshua Bryers, one of the guys from my first period classes stood in front of me, with his hands in his pockets. He wasn't popular, nor was he nerdy. Joshua was more of a reject due to the fact that he was always alone, he didn't speak up in class nor did he speak to anyone in the school. All he did was come, get his work done then leave once the bell rang. No interactions whatsoever.

"What?" I asked, turning my nose up at him.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked, "privately."

"... Why?" my brows furrowed.

"Come and I'll show you."

"Look, I have a man. I'm not interested." I scoffed, shut my locker then pulled my purse up over my arm. "Nice try though."

"Trust me, I'm the one that's not interested." He said in a cool tone. "You weren't in first period today and we got assigned to work on this project together. Being as I'm trying to spend the least amount of time around you as possible, I wanted us to just break the work into two parts. You work on your side and I work on mine, then we meet up Monday to put it together and print it. Iight?" he asked then handed a piece of paper to me that had already been highlighted and split into sections. I took a glance at it then when I looked up, all I saw was his backpack as he headed for the cafeteria.

"What a loser." I commented and placed the worksheet into my purse that hung on my shoulder.

"Definitely." One of my girls agreed, causing us to laugh a bit. I leaned against the locker and continued to watch some of the students walk past us, I'd normally join in with my girls who were judging each and every one of them that dared to step through what was known as the "A-Hallway" where most of the popular kids hung. I hadn't gotten into one of the "A-Cliques" until I started dating Elijah and I was starting to rock name brands that only few could pronounce let alone purchase and that was good enough for them to let me in. It was crazy to think that just a few weeks ago, I was one of these innocent students being judged.

I shook away the memories as I saw a group of guys making their way towards the exit as well. The girls grew quiet, dumbfounded at the sight of them. I didn't understand why, most of them were pretty ugly apart from this one guy named Kylan, we were friends back in elementary and middle school but once we hit high school. He started hustling and I started focusing on my books; we no longer had anything in common so we went our separate ways and agreed to just end the friendship but still keep it cordial.

I waved at him but this time he just shook his head and looked away from me, beside him stood his new girlfriend who definitely wasn't a fan of me. She gave me a dirty look then smirked, wrapping her arm around his waist. it looked as if she was holding on for dear life, for what reason, I don't know. I had a man and Kylan wasn't even on his level.

"What the hell is up with Kylan?" my girl Angela asked.

"I have no idea..." I answered honestly.

"Whatever, guys are weird. I'm going to go grab something before lunch is over. You guys coming?"

I nodded my head until I looked ahead of us to see Kylan dapping up his friend, giving his girl a kiss then leaving out the side exit as they went in to the cafeteria. "Actually, I'm going to head home early. I'm not feeling too hot."

"Are you sure? You want me to come with you?"

"Nah, I'm good." I assured her with a smile. "I'll let you know when I get home." I hugged the three of them then stepped away, speed-walking down the hall and heading out that same exit. I scanned through the group of kids that were having their lunch outside until I saw Kylan across the street, hopping in to his second-hand, but new Honda Civic that his dad had worked on; tinting the windows, adding rims, lowering it. It had become the typical hood nigga car.

I ran across the street just in time, to run around the front and hop into the passenger side. Kylan looked over at me but didn't say a word he just rolled away and headed down the street. "What's the problem?" I asked.

"No problem."

"Why did you shake your head back there?"

"Cause, I'm disappointed in you."

"For what reason?!" I said through squinted eyes.

"You know you mean a whole lot to me right?"

"Yes."

"I look out for you and only want the best for you, okay?"

"Mhm..."

"So when I tell you something it comes from a place of care."

"Get to the point Ky."

"I was drivin round your block, early af' this morning... tell me why the hell I saw that nigga Elijah's care parked out front."

"Ugh." I rolled my eyes.

"Here you go again."

"Here you go again." He mocked me. "Maybe if you listened the first time I wouldn't have to repeat myself. I told you that nigga is trouble and I meant it, I also told you Myles would put two bullets in your head if he found out but you steady playing a game of Russian roulette."

"It really isn't that deep. I told you Elijah and I were just friends."

"Just friends? Yeah right... but whatever, I don't care Lee. Elijah broke every single loyalty rule in the book, I know people that want his head now that Myles is back in the streets. This little friendship you got here could cost you your life."

"You guys are being so dramatic. Elijah and Myles have always been best friends, this small little disagreement is soon going to go up in the air like every other issue they've had in the past."

"You're so stubborn," he muttered as he took a sharp turn and picked up the speed; we were going in the direction of his complex. I don't know what it was but every time I came around here I got goosebumps, some of the things I saw were honestly a wake-up call to me, if you wanted a definition of struggle; you had to come by Kylan's area. Kylan smirked, stealing a quick glance at me. "Still afraid of the hood."

"I'm not afraid." I scoffed, "I just rather not be here, that's all."

"I know, I'm just going to drop something off to my grandma."

"Ooo, mama. I haven't seen her in forever."

"And you won't be today."

I pouted, "why not?"

"I'm not in the mood for her tryin to play match maker today. You know she loves to take it overboard."

"She's just being funny." I giggled, "you gotta learn not to be so miserable all the time. I know it's apart of your whole tough act but, there really is no need for it when you're around her and I."

"I'm not miserable. I just have time to be jokin around and shit like most of y'all. I got people to take care of and money to be made."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

The car grew quiet as he pulled into the driveway of his grandmas building that was actually next to the one he now lived in on his own. He once lived with his grandma but she wasn't to fond of his new lifestyle, so out of respect he moved right out. Which was something I wish I could've done, but I knew probably was hard for him. We were young, I could barely afford lunch sometimes let alone a whole, damn, apartment.

After throwing his car into the visitor's parking, he opened up the doors and I hopped out. I waited for him to come around before I walked to the entrance, only because I saw a group of men standing at the door and was not about to feel uncomfortable.

Following behind Kylan he dapped them up and they of course eyed me, giving me winks and smirks before we finally got into the lobby where I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding in. Kylan chuckled to himself as he opened the first set of doors, holding it open for me. I shoved him playfully, then hit the elevator button. I listened as it squeaked and made it's regular banging noise before the doors opened and a set of people came on.

Once we got on Kylan hit the 14 then held onto the handle and bit on his bottom lip nervously. I stole a couple glances at him before he turned and his eyes connected with mine. "So, did your 'friend' buy those for you?" he asked, pointing to my Yeezy's.

"Yup."

"And that's his chain? No?"

I smiled to myself, touching it. "Yeah."

"At least you're getting something out of looking like a real idiot." He chuckled and just as he finished saying it the doors opened. I brushed off his comments and walked down the hall until we got the 1414, the famous door.

Kylan knocked twice before sticking in his key and letting himself in. "Mama!" he yelled.

"Why you making all that noise in my house boy?!" she asked coming through the beads that hung from the doorframe of her kitchen. "Oh! Leelee!" she pushed past him and opened up her arms. "My girl, where have you been?!"

I hugged her too, relaxing in her warm arms for a few moments. There was nothing like a hug filled with real love. "Kylan's been trying to keep you to himself!" I explained as we pulled apart.

"Selfish." She shot at him.

"Mama look, we gotta go. This is just a drive-by."

"Well you better park Ky because I haven't seen Leisa in ages." She stated before taking my hand and walking me into the living room to have a seat on her couch that was covered in that uncomfortable plastic coverings. I was thankful that I was wearing pants today, cause normally I would be sticking to this seat like glue. "How have you been, you look so beautiful..."

"Thank you mama, I wanna grow up to look as stunning as you."

"Oh psh, I'm an old woman now."

"No, you're aging so gracefully. Black really doesn't crack."

"Oh, you know it honey." She chuckled which made me smile.

"But I've been good."

"Good and how is your brother, the baby, your mom and that wicked pops of yours?"

"Everyone's good. Myles actually moved out but last time I saw him he seemed to be doing well."

"Oh, I heard about that. News really does travel fast. I've also seen that loose girlfriend of his walking around here every once in a while." She rolled her eyes. "I'm glad he left her fast ass."

"You and I both." I smirked.

"Speaking of, are you seeing anybody? I mean, I know your young but let's face it... I had my first boyfriend at like 13."

"Wow, I wish. I was so ugly at 13." I said just disgusted at the thought of having braces, acne and no style whatsoever! "But yes, mama. I do have a boyfriend."

"Ooo, is it Kylan?" she whispered, "please tell me it is because I can't stand that new lil thang he got coming around here. One day she wore jeans so ripped I swear she should've just came here naked and not to mention the fact that she aint got no damn respect."

"No mama, it's not Kylan."

"Who is it then?"

"You don't know him, but trust me mama you'd love him. He's amazing."

"Is he older than you?"

"A bit." I answered honestly, "which makes him more experienced in how to treat a lady like me." I smiled as I played with my chain.

"Well, I'll take your word for it but I would still like to meet him."

"Hopefully one day."

"Yup, before Kylan comes to his senses and steals you away."

"Oh, that won't be happening. I'm not Kylan's type and what me and my boyfriend got is pretty solid. I love him and trust him with a trust so deep. I know that I may be young but I know that he's the one for me and I don't plan on messing it up."

"I see, I see." she nodded before rubbing my leg. "Just be very careful. Men are dogs... unfortunately."

"I know, mine is different though mama. Very different."

"Okay, I really gotta go mama." Kylan walked into the living room eating on some cookies. He placed a band of money into her hand. "I'll be back in a few days when I have more time."

"What's more important than spending time with your grandma?" she asked with squinted eyes.

"Not losing the job I have that takes care of my grandma?" he then tapped my shoulder. "Let's go Lee."

"Alright. Mama, it was good seeing you. We really do need to do this more often."

"That we do. Get my number from Ky and call me sometime, okay?"

"I will." I hugged her and kissed her cheek a few times. "Take care of yourself."

"You as well beautiful. Kylan, see you soon."

"See you ma." He said as he stood at the door of her apartment, waiting. I waved goodbye one last time before joining him.

As we walked down the hall he continued to eat on the rest of cookies he had stole. "Not going to share?" I asked.

"Nah, ask your boyfriend."

"Pettttty."

"You been knew that already though."

--------

After following him to make a couple drop offs, we finally made it back to his apartment. I hadn't been here in a while, the last time I was here; he had just moved in and didn't have as much things as he did now. The moment I stepped through the door; I had to hand it to him, this place was nice and designed as if it wasn't just some run-down apartment in the hood.

"Who did the interior designing?" I asked while taking my shoes off at the front.

"My older sis, she came down a few weeks back and you know that's her specialty. Said if she's going to be visiting; she wants to at least be comfortable."

"I understand." I walked through the living area, giving myself a tour, taking in every little detail. I then looked around in the rooms and the bathroom which I actually ended up loving the most. "She did an amazing job."

"She really did." He said, plopping down on the couch as I returned to the living room. Kylan turned on the TV to BET then pulled out a bag of weed and I blunt from his pocket. I sat next to him, watching him use his grinder before pouring it into the blunt with some professionalism. Kylan stole glances at the Bobby Brown movie that played before him.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and got comfortable as he began rolling the blunt to perfection. When it was done, he lit it and took a couple pulls to make sure it was lit well. His head went back slowly and he let out a big cloud of smoke. "Just what I needed." He hissed.

"Can I get a hit?"

"You know I don't want you doing this stuff..." he said while taking another hit.

"C'mon Ky. We're both old enough."

"I don't care, I don't want you out here getting into stuff like this Lee."

"It's just me and you."

"And then it's going to be you and everyone else. Weed is a gateway drug, you know? Plus my shit too strong for your lil ass anyways."

"You're just being stingy."

"I'm being protective, but don't worry. I got you for your birthday aiight?"

I waved him off and pulled my phone out of my pocket to check if I had received any texts. I had nothing but a message from Myles asking me where mom was. I answered him with a quick 'idk.' Before heading to Instagram. I liked a couple posts, commented on a few before stumbling on one from Elijah.

Funny he could post but not respond to my message, maybe his phone broke or something.

"I see you getting some new ink." He said pointing to my tattoo.

"You like it?"

"I do. Tryna get like me."

"More like I'm trying get like daddy." I stuck my tongue out as I showed him a picture of Elijah.

"Oh now he's daddy?"

"Shush." I shoved him. "He's been moving funny though?"

"Why?" His brow raised.

"I don't know ... maybe cause he's on tour?"

"Niggas. One minute of fame and they don't know how to act." He scoffed. I ignored his comments and got comfortable in his couch, resting my head on his shoulder as I scrolled through the comments of his newest picture. "You staying here tonight?" Kylan asked.

"I didn't bring any clothes."

"You always wear mine. Don't start acting boujie."

"That's disrespectful to wear another mans that's not my man's clothes."

"So is leaning your big ass head on another man but hey who am I to judge?" He said and we both started laughing.

"Shut up!"

"You know I'm messing. I love your big ass head girl, he said pulling on a curl. Maybe one day our babies will inherit it."

"Here you go again." I rolled my eyes.

"You know I'm only messing with you."

"Yup because best friends should remain best friends and nothing more. I would never want to complicate things and ruin what we got or at least what's left of it." I always ignored these comments, Kylan was one year old but a child compared to Elijah. Yes I had thought about it before but now that I had E. I wasn't about to downgrade for a kid.

"Agreed." He nodded. "But i can't lie and say I ain't tempted. Especially with the way you've been... growing up."

"Perv"

"I'm just saying. When you're ready to give that thang up for the first time. I see no better suitor than myself. I genuinely can say I care for you. Like my grandma said; men are dogs. I'll admit I am one too but I wouldn't mind having you as my owner, if you catch my drift."

"Ugh..." I continued to wave him off.

"Fine, even if it ain't me. Just please. Don't let that goofy ass nigga be the first."

Just then I got a notification from Youtube that Elijah's new music video had been released. I hit the notification and sat back, I loved listening to my baby's music not to mention this is the song that we had shot visuals together for. He told me he would let me know when it was coming out. He must've been so busy he forgot.

"Really? While I'm watching something?"

"It's a three-minute video and the movie is on commercial. You'll live."

The beat dropped and it caught Kylan's attention, bringing it away from the TV. I rapped along to the intro since I had been in the studio when he released this part, but as it went into verse one; I just began to bob my head. The visuals were on point thus far, I held the phone so Kylan could see it as well.

"This goes hard, I wonder who he's sending shots at."

"Whoever it is can't come back after th-." Immediately I froze, my chest tightened at the sound of my