chapter~59

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It's been a week since that night and lakshmi had been busy in her room most of the time. Children are being taken care of by Anu as she has been trusted over by lakshmi for this job.  It's not that Anu is strong.  It's Rahul whom is the one giving protection to all of them . That one and only husband of her's has been long forgotten .

It was around 5:00 in the evening when she recieved a call from rahul asking her come out in the garden. She responded briefly before putting the phone away. 

She passed through the hall and Neelu along with Noor tagged up with their mother. Lakshmi went outside holding noor in her arms and held onto Neelu's hand while walking into the garden.

" di! " Lakshmi heard Anu's excited voice and nodded at her with a smile. She looked at Rahul , Arjun , Sanjay and Saraswathi sitting around the white marble table in the garden with a maid serving them tea.

She sat beside Arjun as it was the only chair left empty. 
It doesn't really matter.

She let Noor stand on the grass as the little girl started scrutinising the grass as if it's a precious fossil.

" di, the dates have already been confirmed . It's on 5th of next month is auspicious..." Anu spoke suddenly.  Lakshmi gazed at Anu and then turned to Rahul who nodded in response.

" who checked it ?" lakshmi asked looking at Anu's face and Anu blushed lowering her head like an ostrich.

Lakshmi smiled looking at her.
This girl is one lucky lady who hit a jack pot. She has a caring husband, who has no family pester her in future .
He is trustworthy guy who can go to any extent to save the ones he loves.
His character is that of a diamond....

This is something which makes her jealous when she thinks of this couple . She knows that comparison is of no use, but still she does compare herself with Anu . Thinking of it, she was  similar to Anu , before all of this has happened .  She used to be innocent like her .  She used to love simple things and had a simple mindset and never did she ask for anything more from her husband except for a little of his trust and love...

Lakshmi POV :

Or in my case it would have been different if he did trust me just a little...

All of this wouldn't have happened...

I lowered my gaze and looked at my white knuckles. I chuckled at myself for letting my emotions take a toll upon me once again after a long time .
Nothing will change even if I let my blood out.
Nothing will ever revert back.

" we have also been planning to have a small destination wedding only with our close family members" Anu said shyly with her already blushing cheeks turning more deeper shade of red and I nodded. I looked at Rahul from the corner of my eyes and knew what a 'small wedding' it would be. 


" mumma when did you and dad get married? " Neelu suddenly questioned while leaning on my lap with her both hands supporting her tiny face . I looked at her calmly for a second as the silence crept around me .

" when I was of your age and your father was of your grandpa's age " I answered and sipped my tea from white persian ceramic cup.

I heard the sound of spitting and looked at Rahul and Arjun who almost had the same reaction but with a different expression. 

" it's your marriage,
You people plan it the way you want. If you need my help or my involement, don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be happy to be a part of it. " I said looking at Noor mindlessly and then lifted my gaze towards Anu and Rahul .

Maybe my smile didn't reach my eyes as there was an awkward silence which didn't bother me .

Rahul broke the silence by speaking about the destinations that have been selected. I looked at Neelu who avoided my gaze and started pulling noor along with her.

I gazed at her sharply and then looked at the man beside me.
Maybe it's true that daughters are always biased towards fathers even if a mother pours out her blood and sweat .

I looked at the destination sites and the costs listed. It's nothing much that a multi billionaire couldn't afford. But I almost laughed out seeing Anu's pale face while she saw the prices.

I looked at her as she dragged Rahul away from the garden as I sipped my tea, enjoying the play.
Maybe I'm becoming more sadistic than I would prefer....

I sighed and looked at Saraswathi who has been looking down at her lap from the time I entered. I turned to look at Sanjay as he conversed with  Arjun about their work. Saraswathi gazed at me and smiled at me briefly before looking away.

" pardon me " I said and left with noor . I left behind Neelu as I know that even if I bring her back inside, she will sneak out for her father .

I have been thinking about it since few days. Thinking about meeting my parents. Show them my face atleast.

After making sure that all the kids took their bath, they walked infront of me down the stairs and Ibbu held noor's hand guiding her slowly. I didn't find Neelu any where near boys. She must have left after taking bath.....

As soon as we entered, I let the kids sit down first and then served them one by one. The maid bought the bowl I prepared for noor and kept it before the little one .  Noor quickly digged the spoon inside and kept it in her mouth.
She giggled happily and hugged the bowl tightly in her one arm and ate with a smile on her face with crumples around her mouth . 

My heart warmed up seeing her as she ate happily. I was worried that she wouldn't even eat properly today.

The strange quietness in the hall broke down as soon noor giggled and everyone had a small smile on their face as they started to eat.

I had already seen Neelu as soon as I entered the dining hall . She was sitting in her father's lap.  But I acted as if I didn't bother with her presence or absence. That kid will soon come back running to me . 

After making sure that all the kids are eating, only then did I sit down at the farther end beside Abhi and ate the food in my plate.

After dinner, I tucked all the kids in their beds and left only after making sure that the jars on the table on their bedsides had water filled to the brim.

I entered my room and went through the files on my laptop that I have taken from the base .
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The sun shone brightly as I stood infront of the same house that I have grown in for about 18 years.....

'Do I hate them?' 
Yes.
For getting me married without knowing about those people clearly.

'Do I blame them?' 
Yes.
For not listening to me and taking my words and opinions as nonsense.

'Do I really hate and blame them?' 
No.
I can't.
Because the me now.
Knows that it ain't all their fault. 
Because if they knew this would happen, they would have never allowed me to step in to that house even over their death .

I can get married poor and get killed. 

I can get married mediocre and get killed.

I can get married rich and get killed.

This is my fate to fight against my fate and live for another day.
Either way, one or the other way, some or the other thing would happen to me.
I can't escape which ever door I choose.

I breathed out and the security allowed the driver to pass through the gates.

The car stopped near the entrance and I got out. I stepped infront of the door and rang the bell . The door opened and I looked at the beautiful girl standing infront of me.

Wearing formals with her hair held back in tight in a bun....
My sister.... she changed , grown into a mature woman.....

I smiled at her as she stood shocked for a good whole minute before I saw another person coming out. It was my brother in his casuals. He did really become tall but the polished hairless face remained the same.
I remembered how he used to apply coconut oil to grow hair on his baby like face....

" you still haven't got a beard " I said and my body has been insanely crushed down by these two.
They hugged the life out of me as I patted their backs. Warmness crept into the bottom of my heart feeling their embrace....

They pulled me inside the home and started yelling for mom.  I looked at my mother who stopped on the stairs while looking at me from a distance .

I can see that she is not able to believe her own eyes....
Ofcourse no sane person would believe that their daughter who has been termed as 'dead' by her own in-laws would come back home safe and sound .

I looked at my mother's wrinkled face and her greying hair . How come in just a little over 6 years  she aged over more than 20 years....
She is no more resembles the once healthy and plump lady she used to be...

I hugged her tightly as tears broke down my face. The pain in my throat worsened as I groaned mournfully. I really missed her.... Very much.... even though their actions hurt me and I blamed them for my fate , I really missed the warmth from them......

She pulled me over and looked all over me and my face before patting my cheeks with her both hands. Without asking me a question,  she quickly pulled me up the stairs. She took me inside their bedroom and I shook to core seeing the person in-front of me.

My father,
Alone near the window....
Seated in a wheel chair.

I walked slowly unable to believe myself at what I am seeing. My tall and proud father is now lying in a wheel chair listlessly as he looked out of the window.... Those profound eyes that I used to admire endlessly have turned dull without a life in them.....

I stood beside him and kneeled down, keeping my hands on his thigh but he didn't react....

" nanna " I called out as my voice broke down in pain.... 
I can't control myself....
How can I!?
This is my father whom I have loved more than anyone! This is the same man who raised me up on his shoulders , held my hand, took me for shopping, woke up early morning for my exams even though he never had his share of enough sleep , made sure I ate well even though he never had his complete fill.....
The same person with whom I used to laugh and jog in the early morning, who used to walk faster than me with those long legs..... he stood tall in-front of me shielding me and me feel a sense of security...

The same person who lifted my whole weight in his arms whenever I used to cry or laugh....

I looked at him as he turned his head to me and his hand raised to my cheek as a tear escaped from his eye.
" is it real?
Or am I dead? " his hoarse voice rang out in the silent room and I hugged his legs tightly while crying out loud.

" I..... It's....real nanna
It's real.... " I said and cried while falling back to the floor looking at his legs.

" beta " my father called out for me in a voice filled with pain and love. My tears rolled down more as I hugged his legs tightly....

Why has it turned out to become like this !?
Why!?

" nanna
I came back
Eveything will be aright Okay
Everything will return back to normal" I said . But it's more like I'm reassuring myself to lessen this pain.....

We stayed holding each others hands for hours.... Not speaking a word...
It was as if our souls are helping each others....
He is the only person in the whole world in whose arms I could feel safe and let my eyes close without a worry.
As I know that he was that one person who would never leave me behind....
My father....

I glanced at him and my mother helped him to sit on the bed and laid down his legs. She started massaging them and I did the same with the other leg.

My sister and brother stood near the door while still looking at me .

Dad soon fell asleep and I left the room along with mother and my siblings.

We sat on a couch with my mother opposite to me and my siblings on either side .

" what's wrong maa ?
What happened with dad? " I asked looking at her haggard face.

" As soon as he got the news about the fire incident, he ran down the stairs in his office and fell . His legs have been paralysed since then.
He had lost all the hope when he ca...came to know about you....

He couldn't cope up and kept blaming himself until his other ailments too started affecting his weak body.
He gave up.
Thinking that it was all his fault....

But had still been hooking onto a thread for them " she said looking at druthi and tej.

silence filled in.
Neither me nor anyone in the room breathed out loud.

" maa
I'll be going to my room " I said and left for my room which I used to share with my sister. There wasn't much of a change. All of it remained the same.... including the decorations.

I took a shower standing numbly as the water hit my face and came out wearing my sister's clothes. After I came down the hall,  I went inside the kitchen and saw my mother cooking. She rushed my brother out of the kitchen to get few more ingredients to make my favourite dishes....

I too went along with my brother without telling my mom. There is something that my mum is hiding from me and I have to ask these siblings of mine.....

My brother turned on his bike and I hopped behind him, reliving those memories of me and my brother going to grocery shopping and having fun....

Though the air was polluted outside and the car horns blared in my ears. It was still nostalgic...

We reached the mart and smiled seeing this one specific mart in which we used skate on those soft floors while holding the food trolley.
I held his wrist and took a trolley in my other hand. I started stuffing all the snacks which I used to eat before...

" did you bring money? " he asked and I raised a brow at him...

" seriously? Do you still have to be petty over this stuff. " I said groaning but he didn't come back at me.
Weird. I thought and gazed at him .

We stood outside the mart in parking area as he leaned on to the wall and I leaned on to the bike.
He smiled seeing Doritos and buttermilk in my hand. We used to love eating this combination which made my sister gag.

" Do you have something to tell me? which I don't know....  " I asked looking at his face...

" di
Don't think too much.
Everything is fine " he said while smiling which looked too fake to be real.

" if you don't say me
Then how can I help you?
Mom and dad aren't young anymore.
They can't take up all the burden upon themselves. We three should help them out.
Don't hide for them..." I said slowly as I saw his expression change .

" everything....everything is messed up in business .
After Dad faced that incident. He couldn't work for more than an year and everything fell on mom and sister.
Mumma has never had an experience and sister though she had an experience but her age restricted her...
Those old monsters are showing them hell in business! . Year by year we started losing more deals and our investors too left.

Only if I was old enough, I would have done something. Dad couldn't be stressed anymore.

I feel....feel like I'm losing everything di....
Dad is weak
Mom is exhausted
Sister is keeping all to herself and going insane....

I tried di
I tried but I can't..... " he said while his tears rolled down. He hugged my arm tightly like a child and rubbed his face on to my sleeve.

It broke my heart to see that he is no more than 19years but still had to hold onto his sanity in a depressed situation....

I patted his head and spoke few soothing words. After few minutes, we headed back to home.

He gave all the grocery covers to mum and followed me towards the study room. I looked at my sister who is still at a tender age of 23, graduated an year back and had been burdening herself with business since past 3 years to help mom .

She smiled at me and I sat on the chair opposite to the main chair on the mahagony desk. Imagining my father sitting infront of me busy with his files while still talking to me....

This one main chair.
Only belongs to him.

I asked my sister about all the recent condition of our business and then asked her to get all the files and data related to it. Working under Alexander has been a benefit for me.

I started sorting out all the deals that had been cancelled and all the investors who took back their investment through half way back . I asked my sister to note them down as I asked my brother to check the transactions .

We started sorting out all the deals and contracts that had been proposed since past ten years  which my father has kept them filed.

My sister couldn't be of much help and my brother is too young. I excused myself and called Antonio while standing in the balcony.

" will you come to India?
Need help. " I said while looking at the garden below.

" when? " he asked and I smiled.

" Tomorrow " I said and he replied a 'yes' and cut the call.

It would be better to have more hands and more protection when I start playing....because its going to be a dirty one......

I sat down on the couch after entering the study as my sister showed me the files that had not been tallied since dozens of years.

There was a knock on the door and my mom entered inside. She looked at us all three of us and smiled .
A painful ones.

I went up to her and held her arm.
" mother, you don't need to worry about anything. Just leave eveything to me. I will take care of the rest. " I said and she nodded tiredly while still keeping on that same smile.

We went down and I looked at my father who is already seated in the dining hall . I sat beside him and served him and then myself. My mother served the rest of them . We all ate.
My sister suddenly started talking about her college as a student and my brother was talking about his university life . The tense atmosphere turned a little stable .

My sister butted in with few jokes which made us laugh and mum teased brother making his fuse go off. Though everyone was on a tenterhook , they are still pretending that everything is fine....
When nothing really is....


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