Lakshmi woke up and looked around groggily....everything is blur...
She rubbed her eyes immediately and looked around in the big royal room...
She looked down to see herself under the white satin sheets...

She pushed them away and stood up while holding her head in pain....
She couldn't remember what happened....she tried to think but her head started pounding and she sat back on the bed.

The flashes of her screaming at him while he was hugging her children and she trying to pull away her children from him....and then her children stepped back from her....she seething Red...and before she could do something....she fell unconscious...

Lakshmi pressed her forehead and leaned back onto the bed post while closing her eyes... 
She took in a deep breath...
She can't still believe that her own children are now scared of her...

Her heart aches thinking that she was the one who worked day and night for their comforts and happiness.... but they threw it away as soon as that monster entered....
Their so called father...

Her ego and self respect has been burnt infront of her own eyes... She knows that it's not the fault of her children because they didn't know what their father was... But it irks her while realising that they stepped back from her and went towards their so called father...

Unkowningly tears ran down her cheeks......
She was feeling helpless loosing her children who were the only ones whom she cared....who were the only ones for whom she has been living...
She knew that they are still small...
But she can't rationalize with herself...

A painful sob left her mouth...thinking of her children...
She can't live with that monster and she doubts whether her children would come with her after seeing the 'real' her yesterday night....
She was scared of the outcome and sacred to face denial from her kids...

She controlled herself....
sitting silently, looking at her fingers while her mind was running marathons formulating her next step.

Her chain of thoughts were broken as soon as the door opened and the lady from previous day entered the room with a small smile on her face....

" I bought few sets of clothes for you to change in. " she said and before lakshmi could reply, she went inside the washroom and came out after a minute.

" I have arranged Luke warm water for you, take bath...
Do let me know if you need anything or even if you feel slight discomfort " she said and lakshmi groaned while thinking that her whole existance has become a discomfort and nuisance for her own self.

Saraswathi sat on a chair while looking at Lakshmi who had a blank face while going in to the washroom.
She couldn't even contempt that this young woman would raise a havoc as soon as she would wake up.... She knew that this is just a silence before storm.

Saraswathi was looking down at her hands and soon she heard the door openening. She looked up to see lakshmi standing in a towel and she stood up immediately to leave the room but stopped as soon as she heard lakshmi saying
" I need to talk to you " . She nodded and sat back while lakahmi looked at the clothes saraswathi bought for her.

Lakshmi was drapping her saree and saraswathi's eyes landed on the back of lakshmi from a mirror infront of her. She immediately turned her head away with widened eyes...

Lakshmi sat on the bed while facing saraswathi.
" I need to know about my children, since the moment I fainted" lakshmi demanded from saraswathi .

" um....they are with devarji" 
( younger brother in law) saraswathi said and looked at Lakshmi whose face turned pale and then blank....

" okay , thank you " Lakshmi said and saraswathi left after informing her to come down for lunch, while Lakshmi was drowning herself in a pool of emotions in her mind....
She hasn't expected even in her dreams that her own kids will mingle with the one who wasn't there since their birth....

She looked up at the ceiling and then at the walls. Her head started pounding again and she controlled herself from vomiting.
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As soon as she entered the dinning hall, everyone stopped eating and stared at her . Anita immediately stood up from her place and went towards her daughter in law...
She was about to send her breakfast to her room as she was weak.... But she surely didn't expect lakshmi's presence in here....

She bought lakshmi towards the table and asked her to sit . She started serving food in her plate while keeping a note of her health in mind.

Lakshmi kept on gazing at the dining table. Anita looked up to see her daughter in law still standing. she asked her to sit while keeping a hand on lakshmi's shoulder...

But Lakshmi was still gazing at the dinning table and then at the plate and then at the whole room...
Everyone were shocked seeing her dip her hand in a bowl and then threw a morsel of rice on the floor. She sat down infront of the rice, on the floor while glancing at it blankly.... She was lost....

She saw the old her sitting infront of her with a shaved head and bruised body in torn clothes. Her face was abruptly pushed into the floor and was forced to eat from the ground... The next second, she herself was begging arjun to not to beat her with the belt, which went unheard by arjun as he kept on lashing at her old-self mercilessly....
She started falling into depths of abyss filled with darkness all around...
She dosen't want to wake up from this darkness that is not letting her see her past... 
She wants to drown in this darkness...

All the while Arjun was tensed when he looked at Lakshmi who was staring at the dinning hall. His eyes teared up as soon as he saw her sitting on the floor with rice infront of her. He ran towards her shaking body and was about to touch her but Rahul beat him to it.

Rahul looked at arjun and growled 'no'. Anu went towards lakshmi and rubbed her back while whispering soothening words in her ear....

For a second
For a fraction of a second
Lakshmi felt low...
Really very low...
As if she hit her bottom...
She didn't want this anymore...
She didn't knew what she was doing earlier but she knew one thing now...
She is exhausted....
Exhausted from everything....

Her fears which she suppressed the moment she stepped out of that home years back started surfacing now...
She felt her body going weak...
she knew that she wasn't going to faint... It was her body asking her to give up... To avoid this mental torture and enter into a state of numbness....

Previously,  she avoided thinking of her past by blocking off her thoughts but now she can't do it anymore....
She can't feel herself anymore...
She dosen't want to feel herself anymore....
As if she is ready to loose herself...

Before she could close her eyes , she heard screams of her children and felt those little hands shaking her...
Tears made out their way from her numb body which is not ready to move.... She looked at their concern filled eyes and she knew that even if she dies right now...
She wouldn't have to regret....

Because she has been the best daughter, sister, friend and a Mother.
But only thing that pained her was no one accepted her the way she was in this world...

Her husband wanted her to be a replacement of someone else in his life to fill in the light in his darkness...
Stephan wanted her to be emotionless.
Alexander wanted her strong.

She changed into something and someone she was never before...  Because everyone wanted to mould her and make her perfect.... and  ignored the fact that even the sculptor sculpts the sculpture with utmost  care....
A broken stone can be thrown away
But a broke life?
Can it be healed after breaking it numerous times?
So as to gain a beautiful vase they broke an invaluable form which is one of its kind....

'Maybe all along it was only my father who accepted me the way I am....'
She thought while it pained her heart to think about him....
Her father....
Her father who always stood by her in all the odds. She wants him to press her legs while her mother caresses her hair and her head laying in her warm lap...

She wants everything to go back to the olden time....

She is tired....
She wants to sleep...

Veer was shocked for a second while looking at the content feeling in his daughter's teared up eyes while her body layed numb on the floor surrounded by everyone trying to make her move....
' she wants to give up ' his innerself spoke up which he too knew but he was not ready to accept this....

Rahul bought doctor inside and he lifted lakshmi from floor leaving behind the family in the hall who were looking at the girl laying helplessly in his arms....

Arjun looked up at his wife being carried away from him....
though he wants to go behind her
but hundreds of hands loomed over him from the darkness holding him tightly in their grasp, not allowing him to move...
As if he was meant to be alone..
As if his light was meant to be taken away from him...
His soul is crying for her...
yearning for her....
Breathing for her....
But she dosen't want him...
It's as if his existance was meant to be alone from the start....

With tears rolling down his face and pain in his throat , he looked at the door that shut behind them...

He felt a hand tugging him and he looked down to Neelu holding noor's hand . He bent down to them while wiping away his tears quickly with his sleeve and smiled at them.

Neelu hugged her dad who was crying since the moment mom fainted. She cried for her mom but seeing her dad's tears while staring at her mom and how he was treated when he was near mom pained her little heart too....

" it's okay Nanna " she said softly consoling him and Arjun couldn't bear it anymore. He hugged her and noor tightly in his arms... While those tears he tried to control came rolling down his face.
Tears brimmed in Veer's eyes while looking at his son hugging his daughters helplessly....

But he can't get himself to console his son as he knew that this was his way for repentance of his deeds on an innocent girl.
Anita and veer left from there without speaking a word...

Leaving Arjun alone in his fight....
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Lakshmi POV :

I opened my eyes and looked around..
I didn't dare to move....all the while thinking why was I even alive....

" maa " I heard a voice and looked at myside to see noor looking at me with her large doe like eyes. She climbed onto my legs and laid on my stomach while hugging me tightly with her small hands and legs .

She kept on rubbing my stomach with her little hand and her cheek pressed on to my stomach.... I patted her back and turned to the other side to look at all my children lying on the bed while sleeping on each other and snoring softly.....

I turned my head towards the balcony while softly patting noor's back....

How could I even think of leaving them alone ?....
How could I forget that they still need me?... I can't leave them with that monster.....

I have to fight these fears on my own..
I can't become weak after all the sacrifices...
What is the use when I give up in the last....

I felt water dripping on my waist and looked from a side to see noor softly snoring and drooling all over my waist with her small pink mouth open like a fish...
while hugging me like a koala bear... 

A smile made up it's way on my face with a new determination....
Someyhing I have forgotten all along the way....
' To keep these little buds safe.... '
At any cost....
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Everyone were sipping their tea silently along with me and kids gulping down our glass of milk.

I understood that saraswathi is my sister in law....umm.... That's jethani ji I guess....kids completed drinking their milk . I took their glasses and kept them on the table.
Right now I can only tolerate Anita aunty and Veer uncle's face along with saraswathi...

" We want to know if you wish to stay here " as soon as Anita aunty said those words, I felt sparks rising in my eyes....
I didn't think that leaving this hell would be this easy.. 
No need for me to plan anything as I'm getting it in a silver platter...

I looked at their faces with a small smile playing on my lips with my inner happiness knowing no bounds while thinking of leaving this hell....

I was about to answer but was soon cut off by Advaya saying " no " . I looked at my son shocked for a second and before I could tell him to be quite, all my kids started giving their own opinions! 

I fisted my hand and controlled myself. It's just a palace and a little bit of more money. Nothing new they haven't seen when they were in Russia....

A part of me knew that they are bonding quickly with their father but still I don't want to think about it... But my heart knows that this was the reason why they want to stay back...

" kids....
Elders are talking right ?" I said slowly daring them to open their mouths and they understood the hidden warning through my eyes.

Better.

" sorry aunty and uncle
We would want to leave " I said in a monotone voice while looking at them. Veer uncle was an intimidating person and I couldn't keep staring at him for long.... Now I know where arjun got those genes from...

" But the kids say otherwise " he said while staring at us..

" as you said.
They are still kids " I said while trying to give a smile. Keyword - try.

" okay you might as well leave the kids and go " he said and my eyes widened at his words...
What the....

Is this man for real?
He is asking me to leave my kids with them and go?

" on what assurance do you think I should leave my kids behind and go?
especially with people who have lost their humanity long ago and treat others like a piece of meat " I said sternly while keeping my tone in check.

" daughter " veer uncle said in a threatening tone and I stared at him blankly .

" don't daughter me.
I know my limits.
I don't want to discus any further about this matter.
My decision is final. " I said and looked at my kids who are looking down gloomily.
I will make them understand that his father is a no-no person with a big baggage... Not to forget the mafia.

" lakshmi ,
You need to stay here for a time period" I heard Rahul speak and glared at him.
Wait....
What does he mean by that?
Time period?

" you may not need the security but the kids do.
By now most of them would have come to know about you and children being related to Arjun " Rahul spoke and I looked at him perplexed...
It was arjun who took them away...then why is he speaking of someone else.....

" It wasn't arjun? " I asked looking at Rahul and his eyes widened for a second before yelling a " no ".
" It wasn't him.
It was someone else's hand behind this kidpanp.
But I still couldn't understand how they found your details... " Rahul said and within a fraction of second I turned towards the couple sitting in front of me.

" It was them.
( while looking at uncle and aunt)
They must be following aunty and uncle. " I said and rahul looked at me for a second while trying to link the missing dots.
Because I remember that day when house owner told me that this couple came for my daughter....

He looked serious for a second and looked at me while I looked back at him skeptically. I understood that he wants to talk to me something in private.
I shall talk to him later...

Whoever it is,
They must be either an enemy of my in-laws , or they must have known my realtion with arjun and have been searching for me...
If so then I guess that person might have also known about my involvement with mafia or else he might have been an enemy to arjun who thinks of me as a target to trap arjun.

It is impossible for anyone to trace my life from past few years. Eveything has been erased and wiped out. Until and unless Alexander gives it out....
There is no more Roberta in this world...

But I still can't rule out the possibility.... Thinking about all of these is stressing out my brain more.

I felt a hand on my hand and looked at my side to see Ibbu pressing my hand with his warm small palms...while looking at me with care.
I smiled back at him...
His smile always makes me forget my burden...

Maybe...
Maybe I should let kids stay here. They even dared to touch Rahul and I don't think anyone else can provide better protection to my kids other than this family....
I guess it was my fault...
ofcourse it was my fault to let myself indulge in this underworld....
Even though I knew that I wouldn't be able to come out, if I step in to that world.....
But I did...
Because I had to....
Because I had to become strong for my kids and my life when we are tied to a monster and living under another monster...
It's better if I leave my kids....
I don't want to drag them down with me into the hell hole....

But I really don't want to leave them...
But I have to...
Because their own mother might be a threat to their life...

I controlled my emotions and looked up at everyone seated in the hall.

" I'm sure you will take good care of them " I said answering to previous question of uncle. He was still staring at me blankly, not showing a single expression.

" What?!
No!
Where will you go?
Do you seriously think that you will be able to live on your own if you step outside this palace?
There are people who kidnapped our children!
It's not safe lakshmi " Arjun screamed while taking in deep breaths. His eyes filled with care and anger.....

I just scoffed at him while turning back to my in laws. I don't have anything to do with my so called husband.

" di
Kids need you
How can you even think of leaving them? They are still little kids di... " Anu said and Rahul interrupted her
" yes Lakshmi
Kids need you more now .
We don't know for whom they are tailing behind. But ultimately the kids will suffer if they fall in to their hands. We all have to stay together until we find out who is behind this
You leaving wouldn't solve this.
It will become more complicated. " Rahul said trying to convince me to stay...

My minds really not working...
I don't want to stay near arjun..
I don't want my kids to suffer...
I don't know what I should do...
I'm exhausted
Mentally and physically...
I trust in Rahul's decision and listened to him for this once....
so I nodded at them and looked at my kids who are looking at each other.

" maa is it over?
I'm hungry " Neelu said totally disinterested in the middle of such an important discussion...
I rolled my eyes...
'Is this girl really my own ?'

" what!
you just ate muffins...
...um...27mins 32seconds back! " Rudra said looking at his tiny watch on his wrist while flying his other hand dramatically in air...

" chup " Neelu said placing her little index finger on her lips while throwing glares at Rudra.

" Neelu,
talk to your brother respectively.
He is elder than you.
Got it? " I said to her and she nodded.

" Rudra beta
Never