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its my life by no doubt.
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I spent most of the weekend in my room away from everyone. I got my school work done and went to work. I felt like I couldn't handle what my dad couldn't do for me.

Nicky clinged to me when I was home. I didn't mind because cuddling with Nicky made me feel a little better. He was trying everything to make me laugh. We spent hours watching cartoons curled up in my bed. Ordered Chinese for dinner and never left my room.

The boys were busy with soccer that I hardly saw them. I felt us distancing ourselves from each other. It scared me. Did I lose them? I wanted them but they were just not around.

Monday came and I dragged myself out of bed. I showered and got myself ready. I go upstairs to see that they already left. I couldn't believe they would just leave me behind. My heart was breaking. I get into my mountaineer and sit down for a moment.

I'm about to head in alone after what happened last week. Tonya is going to think she won. After everything I've been thru, is this worth it?

I start crying. Everything I let them do to me. I opened my heart and body to them. Their treating me horribly. I sit here feeling like I want to die. The chest pains make it hard to breathe.

I text my friends real quick in a group chat. I need the push to be brave right now. After a few minutes of texting back and forth I finally get out and head inside. I keep my head up and walk in like I'm not about to shit myself. I walk over to the councilors office and get my new schedule.

She sits me down and asks if I need to talk, that she's concerned about the emotional damage I might be suffering from everything I'm going thru. I start to wonder if I'm causing myself to suffer.

I tell her I'm ok, I think and head to my first class. How different it is this time from last time. Maybe I'm reading more into this than I should. I go up to the teacher and get my new seat. The room is slowly filling up. I look up to see Tyler and I slowly breathe out. He comes over and sits at my table.

"Hey Lani, long weekend huh?" he says winking at me. He pulls his chair up next to mine. " Let me see your new schedule"

I give him my schedule and he nods looking at it. I grab onto his arm and mouth thank you to him. He looks at me funny. But nods anyways. My heart still beating rapidly.

"Ohhhh boy, their in for it now, we have almost all the same classes, our last class is different. "

I smile feeling relieved. I can't even begin to explain the panic I was feeling. "I'm glad I'm stuck with you!"

I notice more of the guys from the soccer team sitting at our table. They look at me and give me a nod. I realize I'm going to be fine for now. Class starts and the guys start pulling me into their conversations and I realize were the loudest table in the science room.

The guys Steve, Jeff, Brody, and Tyler walk with me to our next class. I start to feel like eyes are on me and I look around real quick. I see Natalie and she comes up to me. She pulls on my arm leading me to the bathroom.

"Hey here's my number, I want to give you a heads up but not in the hallway. Okay?"

" Yeah sure." I take her number and watch as she fixes her hair. She turns back to me. She looks around real quick.

"Listen, Tonya has been hanging all over Chase. He hasn't pushed her away. I don't understand what's going on. But you need to know so you don't freak out if you run into them. Text me if you need me. This is seriously fucked up." Natalie says. She squeezes my arm.

"Thank you. I don't know what happened either. I haven't seen them all weekend. I'm already freaking out." I tell her barely holding myself together.

We separate and go to our classes. I send her a quick text and sit down. I pull out my notebook and watch as the guys start in again. We're not all sitting together so they shout out to each other and throw stuff to each other.

I have Brody in front of me and he keeps passing me notes. Asking for more paper since his all thrown at Tyler already. I just laugh and give him my notebook.

Then I get the text. Natalie sends me a picture of Chase and Alex surrounded by Tonya and her friends. She says it's been like that since last week. Says I will end up seeing them in the hallway. That Tonya was and might still be Chases regular hook up. She doesn't know me but doesn't want me to get caught off guard.

I show Brody and he kinda winces. He grabs my hand "Bella, sometimes it's not what it looks like and sometimes it's exactly what it looks like. I'm not sure what's going on since we don't really hang out with Chase and Alex. We all started coming over more because Tyler wanted to hang out with you. You either talk to them or don't and wonder what's going on."

I nod and realize I might actually have a start of my own little group of friends. The rest of class I'm so in thought that it's over and next thing I know Brody grabs my stuff and my hand. I follow them out and look up at Brody, "I have to go to my locker."

"Hey guys we'll meet you in the cafeteria" Brody nods to the guys. We walk side by side to my locker. I put my stuff away but feel like I'm going to break down.

I see Brody look down the hall, I go to see what he's looking at. He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him. I look up to him confused and then it dawns on me. I'm not going to like what I see.

"Let's get thru the day and not deal with this now." Brody says and leads me down the hallway. He's right I don't want to deal with it, whatever is going on.

We get in the cafeteria and Brody runs up to get us lunch. Tyler looks at me and I just smile. Jeff and Steve have girlfriends sitting with them. They introduce themselves as Renee and Toren. Brody comes back with pizza. He gives me a smile and bumps my shoulder.

"Hey let's do a movie night at my house, Bella I will follow you home to grab your stuff and you can spend the night yeah?" Brody says.

"ummmmmm, we'll I'm kinda grounded. Let me ask."

Natalie comes over and sits with us. I smile to her. She mouths to me a sorry and it's forgotten for now. We all start talking and soon I feel like I belong to this small circle of friends.

I text my mom and ask her about spending the night at my friends. She agrees but the more I think about it. I just want to go home. I take a deep breath thinking about what I should do.