We got home from the beach after dropping my friends off. It was nice to get home and climb on the couch. My mom and Will was upstairs making dinner with a glass of wine.

Nicky was upstairs doing whatever Nicky does when he's not jumping on us. Chase had a game on and was watching it with Alex. With me in between them.

I had my head on Chase's lap. My eyes closed as he played with my hair. My feet on Alex's lap getting a foot massage. Just so content. I don't see any down side of living with them at the moment.

"Hey guys dinner will be ready soon." My mom says smiling at us. I didn't even hear her come down the stairs.

"I just want to tell you guys how happy I am that you guys have become so close." She says still smiling. She bends down and puts a kiss on Alex's forehead and ruffles Chase's hair. "You two are great young men. I'm so glad I have gotten to meet you and have become a part of your lives. I find you guys so inspiring the way you hold yourselves. "

"Thanks? "Chase says looking at my mom like he's trying to determine his own feelings. I start to wonder how she's going to feel about all of us when we finally come out.

"I'm just happy that you make dad happy and that Nicky really likes you. That's all that matters to me." Alex says with a small smile. " We will be gone next year so it will be nice knowing that their happy."

Chase looks at Alex. Like this thought is going thru his head for the first time. He kinda gets this sad and distant look. Then looks up at my mom.

"Yeah, that will be good." Chase says and then looks at me. My mom goes upstairs and Chase is still looking at me.

"What?" I ask.

"When do you graduate? "Chase asks.

"Next year. " I tell him. I watch his face as he starts to bite his lip.

"I thought we were all graduating together. I guess I didn't think about it. " Chase says. Looking kinda glum.

"Don't worry about it. Let's go eat." I say getting up.

~~~~~~~~

After dinner I crawled into my bed and turned on the television. Friends reruns. The guys had gone out back to play soccer. I just sat here thinking.

Thinking about how close we are. Wondering if I am making a mistake. Should I be acting the way that I am? How disappointed are my parents going to be?

How broken will I be? Im not waiting until marriage to lose my virginity. But am I just being like this because two really cute guys are acting interested in me? Are they actually interested or are they using me because I'm acting easy?

Oh god...I feel tears falling down my face. Im not ready for this. I try wiping my face but I can't stop crying. I don't want to be used. Why is this my first taste of love?

"Babe?" Chase asks.

I look up and move my hands. Chase is by my side and pulling me into him. I stopped crying and just let him hold me. I knew we had to talk. It was time.

"What's wrong? "

"I need to know what we are?"

"Your my girlfriend. For now your my girlfriend."

"Your girlfriend?" I ask.

"Yes. Should I have asked? " Chase asks looking at me and I can't help but giggle.

"Maybe."

"Lani, will you be my girlfriend? " Chase asks putting his thumb under my chin. So I'm looking up at him.

"Yesss!!" I tell him getting all fan girl and letting out a scream. He leans down and kisses me softly. Getting lost in him like I seem to do so much lately.

"So we're all good and happy?"

"No...."

"What else can I do to make you smile? " Chase asks placing a kiss on my nose.

"What about Alex?" I ask.

"He's a part of this. But as far as everyone else is concerned your mine. Got it?"

"Okay. . Our parents. . When do we tell them? "

"When your ready. "

"Okay. Right now?"

"Do you want to tell them right now?"

"No. But really soon."

"Okay."