23. Bonus Chapter pt. 1

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A/N: Look at what the cat dragged in... another update, a second one for today.... Anyway, i started writing the bonus chapter and it kind of got really long... i figured out the chapter would be twice as long as usual, so i stopped in let's say in the middle, just before the thing get steamy (sorry not sorry)... this part is not private but i am guessing the last on will be and it will be on until Monday night, i don't know the time, but it will be on until then... i'll post an extra not, just for the ones who won't be able to see it, so they know it's on... okay? okay!

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Luciano and I had our first date almost four months ago. Things quickly went back to normal, well except the little romance between us, after he saved me. I am even closer to Alessandra and Caterina and I consider them, and Kate, as my sisters.


So of course, when Luciano wasn't showing any interest in me when it came to anything sexual, I turned to them, which I might or might not regret right now. I don't know why he refused to have any sexual relationship with me, but I am guessing it has to do with me being a virgin and him kind of stealing my first kiss all those months ago.


But that still doesn't mean I don't want to do anything. I can sound like a slut right now, not like I care, but I am so horny for him. His kisses and a touch here and there aren't doing anything to keep me satisfied. And he doesn't seem to get it, no matter how much I am offering myself to him. Ugh, men!


It came far enough for me to think he is bothered with my weight and that is the reason he doesn't want to do it with me, but his sisters didn't agree with me. They actually offered to slap me for thinking that and talk with Luciano about him not wanting to have sex with me. You can imagine my embarrassment at their suggestion, so I declined it as nicely as I could.


So here goes the plan B, according to them. I am to take things into my hands and if we still don't do anything, they are having a serious talk with him, me not having a word about it. We went on another of their famous shopping trips, using Luciano's card, because he is an idiot, and bought me enough lingerie to last me for years even if I still haven't wear a lot of what we bought last time.


But there was a catch, the lingerie we bought this time was a lot more revealing as what I had in closet didn't do anything with him taking actions. Why do I let myself get convinced by them into stuff like this? I am starting to believe I am an idiot.


Anyway, right now I am standing in our bathroom, in a very revealing black and red babydoll and panties, both of them see through and lacy. My make-up is done to perfections, thanks to my shopping buddies, so the only thing missing is courage that I need to walk into the bedroom where I know Luciano is waiting for me. Why must this be so hard?


I walk to the doors and take a deep breath as I crack them open, peaking into the room. Luciano is lying on the bed, doing something on his phone. I bite my lip and close my eyes before opening them again and clearing my throat, making him look at me. "Cara? Is everything okay?" He asks, sitting up and putting his phone away.


I shake my head a little and blush. "I have something to show you." I say softly and he nods a little, urging me to go on. "But you need to promise you won't laugh or be mean about it." I say seriously, making him nod like an obedient child.


"I promise not to laugh nor be mean about it, cara." He says softly and smiles. "So what is it that you have to show me?"


I bite my lip and slowly open the doors completely and walk into the room. I keep my eyes on the floor until I am in front of him. It's then that I dare to glance up at him, seeing him staring at me. "Luciano?" I question quietly, making his eyes snap up to my face.


His shocked face is soon gone and replaced with his emotionless face that I hate with a passion. I shrink a little bit away from him, not knowing if he is mad with me... or maybe disgusted. "Alexis, what the hell are you wearing?" He asks, his tone flat, zero emotions, making me take a step back and away from him. I don't like this Luciano.


I look down and nervously play with my fingers. "Alessandra and Caterina took me shopping..." I mumble quietly, not daring to look up.


"And why did you bought this for?" He asks, making me blink a couple of times, just to keep the tears from rolling down.


"F-for you." I answer and bite my lip.


"Did you expect me sleep with you if you dress like this, Alexis?" He asks.


That was my breaking point. I turn away from him as the tears fall and run off into the bathroom. I close the doors and lock them after me. I knew it, he doesn't want me. I guess Sandra and Cat doesn't know him well enough.


I let the sobs shake my body as I start to pull, no more like tear, the lingerie off of me in a hurry and anger, maybe even disappointment. What did I expect anyway? I should have known this would happen, but no, I listen to his sister and look where that got me. Stupid Luciano!


I proceed to wipe off the make-up off of my face, watching my red eyes and puffy cheeks. I glance towards the shower, thinking about taking another, because of Luciano's words that made me feel... dirty. He made me feel like a whore for wanting to give myself to him.


I decide against it, I can do it later, right now, I need to get out of here. I pull on my other pair of underwear o brought into the bathroom with me, just in case something like this happens. I pull on a pair of jeans and a simple oversized hoodie as well as my red converse sneaker.


I take a deep breath as I wipe the tears away one more time, picking up my phone and pushing it into the back pocket of my jeans. I unlock the doors slowly and walks out of the bathroom, heading towards the bedroom doors, not daring to look up, scared to look at him and find him angry and disgusted with me.


I reach the doors and put my hand onto the doors knob when his voice stopped me. "Where are you going?" He asks, sounding almost surprised.


I swallow down the sob and shrug. "To sleep somewhere else." I answer quietly, glad that my voice didn't break. I hear a movement behind me that makes my heart beat faster. "Don't! Please." I plead with him, my voice breaking at the end.


I hear him stop as I tighten my grip on the door knob. "Alexis, come on. Don't be silly and come to bed." He says.


I shake my head. "No, I am leaving. I'll stay over with Sandra or Cat." I say. I don't hear him move but when I feel his hand on my arm I turn around and push him away from me. "Don't you fucking touch me!" I yell at him, making put his hands up in surrender.


He takes a step back and watches me. "Can you please explain me what you are doing, Alexis? What is the point of this?" He asks with a sigh. Great, now he is tired of me as well.


I bite my lip and look down, still holding onto the door knob. "You always rejecting me." He goes to open his mouth and say something, but I don't let him. "Don't you dare interrupt me, Luciano, because I had it with you! Don't say you are not rejecting me, because you do, every fucking time. Do you even know how does that make me feel, huh? You don't, but let me share it with it you."


I look up, defeated with everything. "It hurts, every time you push me away, it hurts and it makes me feel worthless, like you don't want me. It makes me feel disgusted with myself and it makes me think you are disgusted with me. It's like I am not good enough for you, like I am not desirable to you, like you don't want me."


I look down and shake my head a little. "And tonight? You made me feel like I am nothing else but a dirt on your shoe. You made me feel dirty and like a whore just because I want you. But that is not the worst thing... No, what I believe is the worst, is the fact I expected this from you. I expected a rejection, hence the change of clothes in the bathroom if I had to leave, because you don't want me." I take the risk of looking up at him. "If you don't want me, please tell me now and stop this game of cat and mouse, because I can't take it anymore."


He shakes his head quickly, actually looking kind of apologetic. "No, cara... That was not my intention, I swear... I didn't know I am making you feel that way. I simply wanted you to hold onto your innocence a bit longer and later not regret giving it to me... but it was never my intention to make you feel unwanted or dirty or anything like that... I simply didn't want you regretting it in the future, cara. I am not exactly the best example of a good man."


I giggle a little and wipe my tears away. "No, you are not. But you are a good boyfriend, Luciano. And I would never regret it, I know I won't ever regret it." I say, blushing a little. He smiles and opens his arms for me. I smile and walk into them, making him wrap them around me as I bury my face into his chest and wrap my arms around his waist.


He kisses the top of my head softly. "Stay the night, please?" He asks and I nod.


He pulls away a little and takes my hand in his as he leads me towards the bed. I kick off my shoes and bite my lip. "Can I borrow your shirt for tonight?" I ask him timidly.


He chuckles a little and nods. "Of course you can, cara." I smile at him as he goes to the closet and gets me one of his shirt while I pull of my jeans and hoodie.


I turn to him to take the hoodie from him, only to find him staring at me. I blush and bite my lip. "You are not making this easy for me, cara." He says and I blush. "Do you really like teasing me that much?" I blush more and shake my head and watch him put the shirt over the chair and walk towards me.



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