A/N: November 17, 2022

WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT TOBY IS A SWEETHEART AND THE HERO BBY JIHOON NEEDS

Okay, back to the story ❤

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I took in a deep breath and stood back up, roughly wiping away my tears with the back of my hands and clearing my voice so that it wouldn't come out broken. 

I could feel my defense mechanism kicking, the one that made me reject any sort of help before I became too dependant on that individual.

"That's really nice of you Toby, but I'm going to have to refuse," I said. "But could you please do me a favor and pretend like you didn't hear anything? It'd be great if you didn't spread any rumours either."

Toby's jaw tightened, his thick brows furrowing while stopping me from walking past him. 

"Ji Hoon, this is serious. Someone is blackmailing you," Toby pressed with a frown. "There's no way I can turn a blind eye."

"Sure you can. Just squint your eyes as small as mine and your vision will inevitably reduce, it'll almost be like you've gone blind."

Toby didn't seem to find my racist joke very funny. He stood in front of me, arms crossed over his broad chest in discontent. The image of his bare torso flashed through my mind and I looked over his shoulder to focus on something else, hoping that I could imagine the sexiness of the trash can behind him instead of how sexy Toby looked when asleep.

"Why do you want to help me anyway? We aren't even that close," I deadpanned. "Why were you even waiting for me in the first place? Don't you have any friends?"

"I do," he said. Toby then turned his head from one side to the other, looking down both sides of the empty halls before turning back towards me. "But it seems like that isn't the case for you."

I twitched, shooting him a dark glare.

"And I wanted to talk to you after class to see if you were okay. I was worried Saturday afternoon, you disappeared without a word and I couldn't call you since I didn't have your number," he said. "Did you make it home safe?"

My jaw tightened, trying not to get flustered. "You were worried?" I snorted, trying to come off as rude as I could. "What's your deal? We aren't even friends."

He blinked, but to my surprise, he didn't seem mad or upset by my harsh words. Instead, he smiled. One that wasn't force or that portrayed any sardonic twist to it. It was a simple, but real smile. 

"I like you, Ji Hoon," he said. My eyes widened at his words, lips parting in shock. But he saw my reaction and quickly let out a nervous chuckle, shaking his hands in front of his chest briskly. "I-I meant as a friend," he quickly added. "You seem like a really nice person and I want to be your friend." 

I felt slightly embarrassed, quickly clearing my voice.

"You won't gain anything from being my friend apart from having to deal with my problematical life. If I can give you any advice, it'd be to save yourself the trouble and forget about me."

"But I already promised you that I was going to help," he said, his lips drooping slightly. Was... Was he sulking?

My hands tightened at my sides and I could feel my left wrist ache when my muscles clenched. 

And why did I find it so cute?

But I refused to give in. There was no way I could trust him or risk getting too close to him. Besides, he was probably offering his help because he wanted something in return, people always wanted an equivalent exchange for their "kindness". There was no way someone could be so giving, not in this cruel world.

"Why are you so eager on helping me?" I demanded coldly, remembering all those times Jax wanted something in return for helping me. I didn't have much of a choice back in high school since he was the only person I could rely on at the time. No matter how toxic he was, Jax was the only person who saw even a little bit of value in me and was considerate enough to help me through tough times, even if it meant paying him back through hours of tears and humiliation to please his sadistic desires.

He was the only person who was there for me and so I inevitably became dependent on him. Why? Because he made me feel safe in the most twisted way possible. I used to be terrified of the world, after relentlessly being brought and looked down upon by others, constantly suffering at their hands through social standards. But even if I was scared of Jax, I knew that he was the safe place that would protect me from the rest of the world. 

"Are you going to ask me to sleep with you too?" 

I immediately regretted what I said and quickly shut my mouth, pressing my lips together. Jax would have belted me on the spot for talking back to him like that, and who knows what other twisted things he would have done. I felt my confidence start to shrink, nervousness swimming in the depth of my stomach while I waited for Toby to do something to me. 

But he stood there, keeping a certain distance, respecting my personal space while still standing close enough to impose his presence. But it wasn't in a threatening or intimidating way. 

"You have this look in your eyes," he murmured. "A look that's almost begging for someone to reach out and help you, that's why."

I bit my lower lip, avoiding his gaze until he took a step closer towards me. 

"I made you a promise," Toby said, his voice lowering almost into a husky whisper. 

I squirmed until my muscles relaxed. "You made that promise on your own accord," I tried to argue. 

"But a promise is still a promise," he chuckled softly. I looked up to meet his gaze, taking in a sharp breath. 

In those earthy hues was his soul, eyes different from Jax's, whose were remorseless and so obsessed with lust. Toby had eyes with a kind of beauty that expanded into a personal eternity; ones that felt safe and reassuring. 

His eyes were a hickory as rich as the earth's soil; stained with the colour of hot chocolate on a cold winter night that wraps around you like a blanket; engulfs you in its warmth and makes you feel at home. I blinked a couple of times, trying to find the courage and will to refuse his offer, but I couldn't. Not with the way he was looking at me anyway.

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