34 | carved in my heart

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AN:

This chapter will have strong sexual content.

***

Once I step into Gordon's bar, I settle myself at one of the tables. Cal is performing solo with his guitar. His eyes land on me as soon as I enter the place. A soft smile touches the corner of his lips, and I return his smile.

My eyes travel around the place. Indeed, this place is so much better than Wily Dragon. The atmosphere is warm and not that dark, with a touch of country style.

While I'm scanning the menu lying on the table to order a drink, someone joins me at the table. I'm surprised to find that it's Gordon.

"Pick any drink you want, Amelia. It's on me. You don't have to pay for this one."

I chuckle and order a soda with a splash of cranberry juice, feeling honored to be treated by the owner himself. I rest my chin on my fists, watching the people hanging out at the bar, who seems to enjoy Cal's performance.

"Is this place always packed during the day too?" I ask curiously, knowing that most bars are packed at night.

"Not as crowded as these days," Gordon says matter of factly, tilting his head toward Cal. "It's because of him. He's dragged some loyal customers already."

My eyes land on Cal again, and I can't be more proud of him.

"And you know what?" Gordon continues. "The best thing about it is that every time they're about to leave this place, they would eventually wait for him to finish his performance, because they can't help but look forward to one thing."

I raise my eyebrows in question. "And what is that?"

Gordon smiles. "Cal sings mainstream songs, just like any other singers do when they entertain their client's customers, but he puts his own songs too in the list, and those are what my customers are most anticipating."

Gordon excuses himself to assist his staff behind the counter, and while I'm watching Cal singing on the stage, my heart is filled with joy. I'm so happy that more people can acknowledge his talent. Indeed, Cal's music is better without his toxic band. 

When Cal takes a break after finishing one session, he approaches my table and sits next to me.

"Hey, pretty girl," he whispers, the sound of his voice when he talks to me always causing a tingling sensation on my skin. He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. "I missed you."

I let out a soft chuckle, knowing that we've been seeing each other frequently these days, but strangely, his words didn't seem like a lie, because I missed him too.

"How was your exam?" he asks.

"Good. Pretty good." I grin. "I think I nailed it. Flying colors, here I come."

Cal chuckles. He looks really good when he smiles that I would never ever get bored to see such a sight.

"I like that confidence." He leans closer to me that his mouth is now so close to my ear. "I want to show you something. Come with me," he whispers in a low voice, sending goosebumps all over my body.

When he pulls away, his eyes are smiling, as though he's hiding something from me. Something good, I suppose.

"Will that be okay if we go now?" I echo. "Won't you have another session after this?"

Cal smirks. "It's break time, remember?" His tone is playful. "There are many things we can do before the next session starts."

"Things like what?" I squint at him, but the naughty look on his face says it all.

As far as I remember, Cal is supposed to show me something. Hence, he has led me to his car. But right now, I wonder why his mouth is all over my neck and collarbone, and why I'm sitting on his lap. Again, we're making out in the backseat of his car.

The moment my shirt and bra are tossed onto the seat, Cal buries his face in my breasts and inhales like they're drugs. I run my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to me.

"You--" I pause as he softly bites my nipple, kneading the other one with his big hand. "You said that you wanted to show me something." My breath is already shaky. The way my body reacts every time he touches me is ridiculous.

He just groans in response, still closing his eyes as he french kisses my nipple. He rolls the other one between his fingers, and I moan. I can feel my pussy soak even more the longer he plays with my body like this.

Cal removes me from his lap so that he can take off the remaining clothes I'm wearing. I'm pushed against the window, watching as he slowly slides down my skirt and panties, leaving me bare naked.

Without waiting, he leans down and slides his tongue on my clit that I moan his name loudly. Cal looks up at me fiercely, focusing his gaze on my expression as he sucks my clit, then flicks it with his tongue.

Suck. Flick. Suck. Flick. He keeps doing that again and again that my thighs are shaking helplessly. I'm writhing, my back pushed even more against the window as I try to get away from this devilish torture, but he's holding my hips firmly.

If I knew that he was going to devour me like this when he led me to his car, I would have gotten my heart prepared first.

"Oh, God, Cal--" I let out a little scream as he sucks my clit so hard, as though he wants to suck everything in me. "Cal--" My voice is shaking, and he finally lets me go.

Cal towers me, tilts my chin up, and gives me a tantalizing kiss that makes my knees go even weaker. "Relax, baby. I'll take care of you again."

Our eyes meet, and it's not only his desire for me that I see in them but also his vulnerability. He looks like he has no control over how much I affect him.

"I want to feel you again," he says. "I need to feel you again."

I swallow, watching as he takes off his t-shirt, and once he does, my eyes widen in surprise.

There, right above his beating heart, is a new tattoo planted on his skin. With my name on it. Amelia.

My mind is still trying to absorb what's happening. I'm stunned. Absolutely stunned.

"Well, that's not the reaction that I've expected," he chuckles, noticing how I've been freezing like a statue.

I swallow again, still unable to believe what I'm seeing right in front of my eyes.

Is it for me? Is it really about me?

Isn't it permanent? How will he get rid of it later if one day he wants to do it? But then, my heart can't even bear such a thought.

"Hey." Cal's soft voice is filled with concern. "Amy? Are you okay? Look at me, please?"

I finally tear my gaze away from my name carved next to his heart, and when I look at his face, I can see the worry on his expression.

"Do you like it?" he asks tentatively, as though I wouldn't, and that's when tears spring to my eyes.

"I just don't know what to say," I whisper.

He tilts his head, scrutinizing me. "Happy tears?" A soft smile touches his lips. "Or sad ones?"

"Happy tears," I exclaim, hitting his arm lightly. "How could you think of the latter?"

Cal laughs, and relief finally crosses his expression.

We stare into each other's eyes, and the question rolls from my tongue, "Why did you do it?"

"This?" He presses his finger on the said tattoo above his heart. "Because I can't get you out of my heart, Amy."

There's only truth I can see in those beautiful ocean eyes, and my chest tightens.

"You're always here." He presses his heart with his fist. "I don't know when it started, and I don't fucking know how to let you out." He stops for a while, as if it's hard for him to continue telling me all of this. "I did try to push you out sometimes, but I fucking failed."

I frown after hearing those words, but then I realize that I had the same worries too in my heart.

I was worried that it wasn't real, that we would eventually part in the end.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

Why is he apologizing? Is it because he was trying to push me away? Or is it because he couldn't get me out of his heart?

"Cal." I cup his cheeks, my voice barely a whisper. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Because the next thing I say will shock you." He holds a firm gaze on me.

I frown again, wondering what it is.

"I love you." The words leave his lips, and I feel like my heart can burst out of my chest. More tears pool in my eyes. "I love you, Amy," Cal whispers, painfully. "Fuck. I love you."

To hear his confession like this feels so overwhelming that I feel that this is just a dream.

"I can't bear the thought of ever losing you," he says. "I'd be lying to say that it didn't make me go wild and crazy sometimes."

I brush my fingers against his cheek, my lips trembling as each and every word sips into my heart.

"You bring out the best in me, Amy," he whispers. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

My heart is about to explode. I can't hold it anymore. "Cal, I--"

"Don't." He puts his finger over my mouth, shutting away my words, his eyes piercing and holding something else. Fear. It's fear he's feeling. "Please, don't," he denies. "Don't say it just because you think that you have to say it back to me. Later, when you can finally understand what you feel for me, you can give me an answer. I'm not asking you to give it to me now."

My heart feels like being shattered into pieces. Not for me, but him. What happened with his mother and father has shaped Cal into the person he is now, who wouldn't even dare to hope that the person he loves would love him back. The people he held very dear in his heart have left him forever even though they are still alive, somewhere in this world.

"Cal--"

"Sshhh." He places soft kisses on my lips, cheeks, and chin. "It's okay, baby. It's okay."

I wrap my arms around his body. If he doesn't even let me speak my feelings, all I want to do is just hold him tight. Hold him in my arms and never let him go.

I help him unbuckle his pants and slide it down along with his briefs, because he wants to feel me, just as much as I want to feel him.

As usual, his cock is already hard for me, his precum glistening at the tip. He rips the packet of condom with his mouth, and I help him sheath himself with it. He then pushes me against the window again.

"For now, let me take care of you again, pretty girl." He pushes my thighs up high so that my pussy is exposed to him. "There, there, such a beautiful pussy, ready for my cock."

The fact that he can switch to talk dirty so quickly makes my pussy throb. I was already close to orgasm when he showed me his new tattoo.

Slowly, his cock enters my pussy, his hand still pushing my thighs up. "Look at that," he hisses. This position allows me to see clearly how he pushes his cock into me, and that arouses me even more. "Did you see how my cock spreads that little cunt of yours, baby? Again, you're taking all of my cock so well. You're being such a good girl for me."

"So thick, Cal. I can't--"

But Cal keeps pushing his cock in. I moan when my pussy finally swallows all of his length. Cal doesn't move yet. He just pushes his cock deep inside me, pressing his balls against my slit.

"Ah, weren't you about to cum a while ago?" he reminds me of how my body responded to him, and suddenly, he starts grinding into me without pulling his cock out that I squirm against the window.

His finger suddenly flicks my clit at a fast pace, and I scream, unable to stand the pressure of his cock and his finger flicking my clit continuously.

"Ah!"

"Yeah, cum for me, baby. I know you're close. Yes, like that baby. Don't hold back."

My stomach tightens as he continues grinding his hips with his cock still fully inside me and his finger playing with my clit, now pinching it harshly. Before I know it, my orgasm explodes.

I pant, a tear rolling down my cheek. My pussy clenches around him, my juices wetting his cock.

Cal smirks, and before I can recover from my high, Cal starts fucking me. He pulls all of his cock out and thrusts it back in, still pushing my thighs up. I'm knocked against the window every time he pushes into me.

I shut my eyes, but then his words make me snap them back open. "Eyes on me."

I do as he told, only to find his eyes so intense with his feelings for me.

"You feel that, baby?" he rasps. "You feel how bad I need you?"

I sob, feeling every inch of his big and hard cock inside me.

"Feel how deep I am in you, baby. Feel it." Cal keeps moving his hips to fills me again and again. It feels so good. So so good. "It's fucking amazing to be one with you. Fuck. I want to do this every day with you."

My moans fill the car as Cal keeps hitting the right spot inside me, building my orgasm. This position makes me feel so exposed.

"Cal," I cry softly. "I'm going to cum." Again. It's ridiculous how many times he makes me cum every time we have sex.

"Then cum, baby. Cum for me. Cum as many times as you want."

I do as he said. My entire body shakes with pleasure as the orgasm hits me. I can feel it in every nerve of my body. But Cal doesn't stop fucking me, which makes my orgasm last longer.

He changes our position, sitting up, his back against the seat. He places me on his lap and grabs my ass cheek to help me meet his thrust. I grab his shoulders, and my tits bounce as he pounds into me. Cal runs his tongue on my neck and collarbone that my back arches.

"Cal," his name slips out from my lips again as I moan between cries.

Cal snaps his hips up and slams me down to meet him, his balls knocking my pussy over and over again. "I know, baby. I know that it feels good," he whispers. "Just let it go. Let me make you feel good. I can do this with you forever."

Cal moves his hands from my ass cheeks and holds me tight, wrapping my body in his arms as he keeps snapping his hips up. "Let me hold you like this forever. I'm yours. I'm all yours."

The sound of our skin slapping as he fucks me even harder echoes in the car. My face is buried in his neck now.

"Fuck. I'm fucking in love with you, Amy," he rasps. "I love you. I love you so fucking much."

I pull away to look him in the eyes with tears all over my face. I want to say the words back. I can feel them on my tongue.

Why can't I say it back? Why wouldn't he want me to say it now? Would he not believe it?

I can feel that he's close to his release. His movement is becoming sloppier and faster. I grab his shoulders again, bouncing on his lap as his balls keep knocking my skin. My eyes fall on my name carved right next to his heart, and I hold back my sob.

He finally cums, groaning at the same time I moan his name loudly, cumming together with him. Both of us pant hard, and I collapse into his chest, crying softly.

After a while, Cal cups my cheeks and tilts my head up so that he can look at my face. A frown touches his lips before he kisses all of my tears away.

I sigh softly, still feeling the pain in my throat as I swallow it.

I love him so much that it hurts.


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