28 | falling apart

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"I have never taught you to lie, Mia," Dad barks. "And you lied to us. You deceived us, just because of one guy with no background who suddenly appeared out of the blue. I told you not to play with fire--"

"He's not just any guy, Dad." My voice is shaking. I just can't stand it when people degrade Cal like that.

With no background? What was that supposed to mean? They don't know anything about his past.

"He's a great guy, Dad."

"A guy who doesn't even have the will to fix his life?" Dad snaps. "He's not even going to college. He's not a good influence for you, Mia. All he's been doing is sweeping you off your feet with sweet words and all, but we know that it isn't real. Look where we are now. You've been with him for a while, and you've started lying to us."

"It's not his fault," I snap back, my chest heaving up and down. "It's my fault, Dad. Mine. Cal has nothing to do with this. He doesn't even know that I was lying to you," I raise my tone.

Dad and Mom stare at me in shock, like they can't believe that they're looking at their daughter.

"I lied to you because I knew that you wouldn't let me go if I told you the truth," I whisper brokenly.

Dad turns silent for a moment, but then he steps forward, his eyes menacing as he towers me. "Well, you are absolutely correct," he says in a low voice. "You are not to see that guy ever again."

My mouth drops open. Pain strikes me at the thought of not being able to see Cal and Jasmine again. Before I know it, anger takes over my body.

"Why are you doing this?" I hiss, balling my fist on my side. "Why do you hate him so much? He hasn't even done anything to you. What has he done that made your heart so cold?"

Dad's jaw tightens. "Just from seeing him close to you made me want to explode, Mia. A guy like him is supposed to stay the hell away from you. He is dangerous, Mia--"

"He's not," I cut him off, glaring at him. "He's a good guy, Dad. He lives with his little sister and he provides for her. He's someone so matured and responsible for his age."

I make a note to myself not to ever tell my parents about the story behind his band -- about the drugs -- because that would make them have a heart attack.

"Even though he only finished high school, he was trying his best to earn money for a living," I continue. "He works hard by performing on stage, working on his songs--"

"Which justifies even more why you shouldn't be with him in the first place," Dad snaps. "You should never be with a guy like that. You will have no future with him, and he will only corrupt you, harm you, endanger you."

"That's not true at all," I shout, finally losing my patience. All the bad things Dad says about Cal slice my heart. "How could you say something like that so easily?" Pain is evident in my voice. "You're not God. You can't cut his heart and shows me what's in it. You don't know him. You don't know anything about his heart."

I realize that I'm already panting again as I talk to Dad.

He scrutinizes me, and I can see the sadness in his eyes too. "Do you love him, Mia?" Dad asks cautiously. "You can't. It's too soon. It's too fast."

I'm stunned. I can't answer his question. I don't want to answer it. The thought of love scares the hell out of me. I don't want to feel such pain, but I realize that I'm already tottering on dangerous ground.

Maybe Dad is right. Maybe being with Cal is indeed dangerous for me, but there's nowhere I would rather be than being with him now.

"Even if you do, Mia, love isn't enough to make you happy," Dad says firmly. "A guy like Cal can't make you happy."

I've had enough. I brush past him, ignoring his menacing stare and walking off toward the stairs.

"As long as you're still living under this roof, you have to follow my rules, Amelia Davis," Dad warns. "You're not seeing that guy again. End of story."

I'm so furious that my entire body is shaking. Slowly, I turn around to face my parents. Dad is seething, while Mom looks like she's about to cry.

"Well, guess what?" I reply. "I'm so sick of you acting like you know what's best for me and what's not. I'm so sick of you talking ill about Cal just like he's not another human being. I'm so sick of you acting like you know what makes me happy. Did you hear that? Me. Myself. Only I myself know what makes me happy. You can't decide how I feel."

My nostrils flare as I finish my words. The next thing that comes out of my mouth surprises me, "Maybe it's about time that I don't live under your roof anymore."

I don't even know whether I meant what I said or not. What could a teenager like me do, living alone out there in the harsh world, without the shelter from my parents? Maybe I was just bluffing, but the moment I see the fire in Dad's eyes, I know that my words cut deep in his heart.

"What did you say?" he hisses, and I feel like cowering under him. But the need to defend Cal and my pride make me stay true to myself.

"Mia, please," Mom finally speaks. Her voice is shaking as she stares at me in disbelief. "Please, listen to your father this time. We know you don't mean that. You're not thinking straight. You're blinded by him, Mia. You and Cal have so many differences that it will only torture you in the end."

"Oh, Not you too," my voice breaks as I try my best to hold my tears from falling.

Why is it so hard for them to understand me?

Why are they judging him?

Why are they judging me?

Why are they speaking as though they know my feelings?

"You know what?" I challenge them. "I will prove you wrong. I will be happy with him. I'll graduate soon, and I'll be pursuing my dreams with him."

"You will not see him again," Dad roars, startling me.

His eyes are bloodshot, and I can see how much this conversation is stressing him out as well. It finally dawns on me that I'm not the one who is scared here. It's them. They're terrified. Fucking terrified about what would happen to me.

They're scared of me choosing the wrong path. But mostly, they're scared of losing their daughter. I know that Dad was already scared of it the moment he heard that I didn't want to live under this roof anymore.

"Dreams?" Dad's voice is shaking. "What do you know about dreams? About life? Life is not as small and easy as you think. You were always on the right path, Mia, until now. Until that guy came up."

"I know what I want, and what I want is to be with him and to go to the college of my dreams for now," I speak through gritted teeth. "There's nothing wrong with going to LA, and you will let me go with him because I decide my own future."

My parents' faces have never been so pale. I can't believe what I'm doing either.

Who would have thought that there would be a day in my life on which I would be running away from my parents?

Would this be called running away? Yes, if they don't approve it.

"Mia, I know you always want to be an architect, but there are many other universities you can go to other than the one in LA," Mom tries to persuade me, but I just scoff.

"It's not the college that you're worried about. It's Cal, isn't it?"

"Enough, Mia," Dad snaps again. I can see the fear and pain in his eyes very clearly now. "You're going to go against us just because of him?" he asks in disbelief. "You don't trust us? You're trashing the life we have built for you and what we've prepared for you? You choose the life that will ruin you?" He pants heavily, and suddenly, I'm worrying if he's going to collapse. I've never seen him so emotional. "You choose him over us?" The last sentence he utters is barely a whisper.

"I hate you, Dad." My lips tremble as tears spring to my eyes. Never have I said something like that to him, and I can see that he's taken aback.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down because of all the emotions inside me that are slowly killing me.

"I hate you," I cry. "Why do you have to make me choose? Why can't I still have both of you, be with the guy I want to be with, and go to the college of my dreams? Why do I have to choose?"

"Because I love you!" Dad roars. "Because I love you so much, Mia, that I don't want you to fall into a dark pit," he rasps. "Please listen to me, Mia. Leave that guy for good."

He's literally begging me to end things with Cal, but it's the last thing I want to do.

"No, I won't." My fist is shaking as I break my father's heart. "And you know what? You said that you cared about me being happy, but you just made me feel exactly the opposite of that right now." These words are just as painful to him as it is to me, and with that said, I turn my back at my parents, rushing up the stairs.

Dad's heavy footsteps follow right behind me. "You want to go with that guy? Fine." His voice is deadly. "Fine, then. Be with him. You're not following my rules, so you have to get out of this house."

Those words make me stop in my track. Things have turned out worse than I've ever expected. I turn around, only to find him shaking with rage.

"Get out now!" he booms, making me jump.

I swallow a lump in my throat and head to my room, tears blurring my vision. My heart feels so heavy, but my footsteps keep going. It's when I open my closet and start unpacking my things into my backpack that I realize I'm crying.

Why is it so hard to just be with that one person I want to be with?

Why wouldn't they give us any chance?

Mom appears at my doorway, staring at the mess before her with the same tearful eyes. She approaches me while I'm practically shoving everything from my closet that I think would fit into my backpack.

"Mia," Mom begs. "Don't do this to us. Your father was consumed by anger. He didn't mean what he said."

Even if he didn't mean that, I don't know how to survive this house anymore. It feels like torture to face his wrath every time he thinks about Cal. And it will be every second as long as I don't break up with him.

"Please, Mia," Mom cries, following me while I keep going back and forth between my closet, my backpack, and all the items I need to collect. "Is it that hard for you to break up with Cal?"

I freeze for a while, hugging my backpack in my chest. I nod, and another tear slides down my cheek.

Yes, it's that hard to leave him, Mom. It pains me just thinking about that.

I sniffle and sling my backpack across my shoulder. Then I stride out of my room, and that's when I hear Mom's sob. Her footsteps follow me when I rush down the stairs.

Dad is standing in the living room, his back facing me. The moment he turns around to see me, I see unshed tears in his red eyes.

"You're done?" His voice is as cold as ice, piercing right through my heart. "Leave," he commands, approaching me with full strides.

I step backward, getting closer to the door, one that I won't open again.

"That's enough." Mom steps between us, crying softly as she tries to stop Dad, shielding me from him. "That's enough. Please--"

"Leave!" And with that final roar, I step my foot out of the house I've called home since the day I was born.

The door slams shut in front of my face.



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