Chapter 44

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Neha's Pov

I came outside the mall with my office friends. I brought a lot of dresses for Aasha. I am really happy for my friend. And Dev bhai is really very caring about her. The way he looks at her, clearly says that he is deeply in love with her.

Even my Aasha feels same about him. But she is very innocent. Even though she reads a lot of romantic novels, she didn't find out about her own feelings. Soon i reached my car. I was in my own thoughts when someone called my name. I turned to look who is calling me. There he stood again. 

"Okay now we have to leave bye" my friends said. I too bid them bye and left to my car. I placed my all bags in the back seat. I sat in the driver seat and was about to start my car but Varun stood in front of my car. I sighed in frustration. I got out of my car and went towards him. I stood in front of him with my arms crossed.

"Now what, Varun? Please yaar leave me" i said in frustration.

"Neha, i want to talk with you. Please, I just need fifteen minutes. Then i won't disturb you. Please Neha" he pleaded me. I can see his moistened eyes. His sight melted my heart. So i just agree with him. I locked my car. We both went towards a small cafe. 

"Now tell me what you want to talk?" i asked him placing my both elbow on the table crossing my fingers. 

"Neha, i can't live without you. Just give me a last chance. Please Neha" he asked me with his pleading eyes. I sighed at him. 

"Chance for what Varun?" i asked him. 

"To prove my love to you" he said confidently.

"But i don't love you and i don't trust you" i said. His face fell after hearing my words. 

"I know. But just give me a chance Neha" he said. 

"Chance to break my heart?" i asked him. 

"No. Chance to mend your broken heart with my love" he said. I laughed at his words. 

"You must have watched some romantic film. Listen Varun. Everything is over between us. In fact, what you now feel for me is not Love but its your Guilt. Thats why you're saying this all to me now. Lets just forget about everything, okay? I forgave you long before Varun. And more than that you realised your mistake. That is more important. You don't need to feel guilty anymore. Lets forget what happened in our past. Move on Varun. Find your true love. And don't repeat your mistake in your future, Okay? Just move on" i said looking into his eyes. When i said to find his true love, i felt like someone poking my heart with needles. Because there was a time when i thought that he is my true love and i am his. Its right. Truth is always bitter. And the truth is i am not his true love. I gulped the lump that formed in my throat.

"My true love is you only, Neha. You showered me with your love and care, when i didn't know your value. Now you're avoiding me when i realized your value in my life. You're my peace, Neha. You're the most important person in my life, Neha. I want to rectify my mistakes. Why you're not giving me a last chance, Neha? Everyone was with me, when i was wrong. Now i am changed but no one is believing me. Everyone in my family hates me. I know i deserve their hatred. I deserve your hatred. I am not asking for your love, Neha. I am just asking for a chance to show my love to you. You can hate me as much as you want. But just let me love you, Neha. Just give me a chance to shower my love on you. Please, Neha" He said while tears rolled down from his cheeks. I suddenly had the urge to hug him tightly. But no.. I can't. I bIte my lips to control my tears.

"Do you love me?" i asked him. I don't know why i asked him this question. 

"Yes. I love you with my life, Neha. I won't even hesitate to sacrifice my life for you. You became my peace, my life, my breath, my everything, Neha. I love you from the bottom my heart" he said firmly.

When he said he loves me, it came from his bottom of his heart. His eyes held pain, love, hope and sincerity. In past he never said I love you to me. But now when he said that three words, its felt like a dream. If i stay here even for a second, i will break down in front him. I know i still love him. But i can't accept him. I can't. I know he loves me truly. But still i am afraid to trust him. I am afraid to fall in love with him. Because of the heart break he gave me in the past. I can't handle another heart break. So i have to hurt him to avoid him from my life. 

"Wow! In past you fooled me by your acting skills. Now you're continuing your act. Just great. You know one thing, Varun? I don't trust you and your movie dialogues. Just show your acting skills to other girls" i said with a sarcastic smile. He looking at me with tears his eyes. 

"Wait! Did you made any challenge to any of your friends to bring me to your farm house? Is that why you're saying this all 'I won't even hesitate to give my life to you' 'my peace' 'my breath' bla bla bla. Whatever, I don't want to give you any chance. Because i don't even want to see your face. I just want you to disappear from my life. Okay? Just get lost from my life Varun. I don't want to see your face ever again" i said with tears, looking into his eyes.

He looked at me with a pained expression on his face. More tears escaped from his eyes. His face turned pale. His hand trembled when he took a glass of water from the table. He gulped the whole glass. I never saw him crying. But today he is shedding tears. I know i have hurt him with my words. I insulted his love. But this is the only way for him to move on in his life. 

"Ne.. Neha ple.. please" he pleaded while grabbing my wrist. I jerked his hand and went outside the cafe. I started to walk forward. But his words kept ringing in my ear. When i carved for his love, he betrayed me. Now when i want to move on in my life, he is saying that he loves me. Tears blurred my vision. I wiped my tears. 

"Neha… Neha" I heard him shouting my name. I started to walk faster. But suddenly someone pushed me hard that i fell on the ground. I don't know what happened. My elbow is bleeding. I looked up to see what happened. Some people helped me to get up from the ground. There was a car with people surrounding it. I went near the crowd. But the sight in front of me shook me to the core. 

There….Varun on the road in the pool of the blood. I sat near him and took his head in my lap while screaming his name. 

"Someone please call the ambulance" i screamed while tears running from my eyes. Soon ambulance came.

"Please Varun. Don't close your eyes. Just look at me. Okay? Nothing will happen to you. But please varun i beg you. Don't close your eyes" i screamed at him while clutching his hand close to my heart. His eyes are half opened. He tried to say something. I moved my face closer to him.

"My lo..love is not fa..fake, Neha. No one will lie when he is in his death bed. I… Love you, Neha. I will love you till my last breath" he said with a lot of struggling. A lone tear slipped from the corner of his eyes. My entire body trembled hearing his words. 

"Shut up. Just shut up, okay? Nothing will happen to you, Varun. Please for my sake don't give up" i cried kissing his hands. But he closed his eyes. 

"Varun… Varun… Open your eyes" i cried. 

Soon We reached the hospital. The nurse shifted Varun in a stretcher. I ran with him while clutching his hand tightly. His eyes is half Opened now. The stretcher is fully drenched in his blood. His head is bleeding non stop. 

"Varun, don't close your eyes. Okay?" he just smiled at me. The doctors took him to the operation theatre. 

"Yes. I love you with my life, Neha. I won't even hesitate to sacrifice my life for you. You became my peace, my life, my breath, my everything Neha. I love you from bottom of my heart"

I cried remebering his words. Today i should be the one in the place of Varun. In order to save me from that accident he pushed me away but he got hurt. Now struggling for his life. He didn't hesitate to sacrifice his life for me. But in that cafe how badly i hurt him with my words. How much i insulted his love for him. 

"I don't want to give you any chance. Because i don't even want to see your face. I just want you to disappear from my life. Okay? Just get lost from my life Varun. I don't want to see your face ever again"

I should not have said that hurtfull words to Varun. Why i did that? I said that all because i wanted to him to move on in his life, i wanted to love on in my life. I didn't said that all words from my heart. God please save him. Save my Varun. I prayed to god with my crossed fingers. 

I called Dev bhai and explains everything to him. He said he will be there in a few minutes. Soon he and Varun's whole family came there with a worried face. 

"What happened, Neha?" Dev bhai asked me. 

"He..he met with an accident because he wanted to save me. I should be the one in this operation theatre. But because of me he is here. I said a lot of hurtfull words to him, Dev bhai. I hurted him with my words. Its all beacuse of me. I am the reason why he is here today. I am the only reason" i sobbed loudly. 

"You're not the reason, Neha. Nothing will happen to him. Please calm down" he said while hugging me.

"The operation is going on. We have to wait" Sameer, Dev bhai's friend said. After two hours the doctor cale out of the operation theatre. 

"How is he?" Varun's mom asked.

"The operation went successful. But…the patient is not responding to the treatment. Its looks like he ks giving up his life. If he can't open his eyes in 24 hours, we can't save him. Sorry" the doctor said. 

"You have to save him. You're the doctor, right?"  Dev bhai held his collar.

"Sir, we are trying our best. But the patient is not responding. Its look like the patient is already suffering frol depression" the doctor said. I sat on the chair with a thud. 

"All because of me. Just because of me" i sobbed, buring my face in my hands. 

"Beta please. Its not because of you. Don't blame yourself" Varun's mom and his father said while patting my head. 

"I said a lot of hurtful words to him. But still he saved me not even thinking about his life. He risked his life for me. He said he loves me. But i insulted his love with my words.  Now i wanted to say that i love him too. But he is struggling for his life. He lost his hope in his life because of me" i said in between my  sobbing.

"You love him?" Varun's father asked me. 

"Yes" i said. 

"Even after what he did to you?" Dev bhai asked me. 

"Yes! I love him. I love Varun. I live him" i said continuously while sobbing. 

"If you love him then go and talk to him. Give him hope, Neha" Varun's uncle said. 

"Yes go. Just tell him how much you love him. Go Neha" Varun's mom said with a trembling voice. His father nodded at me with a smile. I looked at Dev bhai. He too nodded at me.

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