CHAPTER 19 - Two Steps Forward

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"I'm home", Dara kissed her dad's cheek and turned to him. "Hi Jiro", she said, giving him a sweet smile. He just nodded his head in acknowledgement and then, she entered the house. He never returned her smile, but the girl never failed to give her one, which warms his heart. She has been like that ever since he first met her when they were kids – sweet, caring and sincere. And when he met her again during his darkest hours, her smile made him want to give life another chance. For once after so many years, someone looked at him without bearing judgement that he often sees in strangers' eyes. When he learned that Dara is the same girl that he encountered during his childhood, he vowed to himself that he will protect her smile.

 

"I worry for her", her father said as they sat at the porch, drinking beer after a long day. "It's only the two of us left. If something happens to me..." He cut himself off and sighed heavily. "Sometimes, the society is not as kind as it seems. People rely on connections – family, friends, and acquaintances. Dara has no one to rely on but me. But, I'm afraid I'm not strong enough." He gulped down his beer and looked at Jiro.

 

"Son, can you promise to protect my daughter if something happens to me?"

 

"Nothing will happen to you."

 

"The future is blurry for all of us", he said and stared at him intently, until Jiro nodded in response.

 

"I promise", he mumbled. It shouldn't be that hard, right? He planned to protect Dara anyway as a token of gratitude to his father and as his vow to himself.

 

"Thank you", Mr. Ramirez said in relief. "I've been thinking of her future recently. Even if I'm not here anymore, I want her to lead a happy life – finish her studies, find a job that she wants, and find a good man. I want her to be married to a good family; one that will shelter her", he said, his eyes focused elsewhere.

 

Jiro's grip on the bottle that he was holding tightened. One thing is for sure, he cannot be the man that her father wanted for her. He understood where the old man is coming from, though. Having lost his job in his former company because of restructuring and almost running out of money, Jiro knew that Dara's father only wants stability for his daughter. And stability is something that he cannot guarantee, because he has no one but himself – no family to help him in times of trouble, no money to ensure his future.

 

"Will you also protect my dream for my daughter, Jiro?" He asked in an almost inaudible voice.  

 

Jiro's heart clenched at what he's asking from him. Still, he answered, "I will."

 

If protecting his dream for his daughter is his only chance to stay beside her, he will grit his teeth and watch her fulfill it...even if in the end, he has to swallow his own pain and fade away.

Jiro's eyes fluttered open, his vision still a bit blurry from sleep but his dream about his conversation with Dara's father a day before he passed away is still vivid in his mind. He tried to move, but a weight in his arm prevented him to do so. Turning his head to the side, he frowned upon seeing Dara sleeping soundly beside him.

He tried to recall what happened the night before. He was sure Picaro and Bonsai dumped him in his place after he consumed massive amount of alcohol, but why the hell is he in Dara's house? Bit by bit, his memories forcibly registered in his brain. The two idiots dropped him in Dara's place instead of his house after getting him drunk, those morons!

He grunted in pain when his head throbbed. Fucking hang over. He shut his eyes and breathed deeply before opening them again. Slowly, he shifted his gaze to Dara, feeling the familiar thump in his heart whenever the girl is near him. He brushed the loose strands of hair away from her face, savoring the rare moment of a morning beside the girl. Sliding his fingers on her cheek, he can't help but think how time flies by so fast. It feels like yesterday when he made that promise to her father – a promise that bound him until he can't bear the weight any longer. He thought it will be easy. He thought he will be able to endure.

He was wrong.

***

Dara's POV

I yawned lazily and stretched my arms, sighing in contentment after a very relaxing sleep. I rolled over to my side and groaned as I snuggled on the soft and fluffy pillow...Pillow?!

I abruptly sat up and darted my eyes around, my system fully awake. I'm absolutely positive I was not dreaming last night. He was drunk. He was here. He was here and he told me things that made my world stop. I slumped as I realized that he probably left without saying a word, just like the normal Jiro that I know.

When my eyes caught sight of the gift on the bedside table, I almost fell off the edge as I crawled swiftly towards it. And when I read the card slipped on the ribbon, a wide grin curved on my lips.

HB

From: Jiro

He is indeed a man of few words. I chuckled as I began to open his gift, but my giggles died down when I saw what's inside – a set of books and a mini laptop. The words he said last night registered in my mind as I stared at his gifts. That guy even joined underground fights to earn quick money and buy me these things. Why would he go to such lengths? I covered my mouth when I saw one of the books about the guidelines on how to write a novel. Wait-... Don't tell me-... He remembered! I only told him once that my biggest dream is to write my own book but he remembered it.

Oh my God, Jiro.

I hugged my legs and rested my chin on my knees as warmth enveloped me, utterly touched by what he did. To be honest, I thought he was not paying attention when I'm spouting some nonsense while he lounges at the balcony. I thought he was just tolerating my presence. But he listens, and he's taking in every detail.

I tried to recall the words that he said last night, my heart squeezing at the pain I saw in his eyes for the first time. He has been cradling the guilt and torment by himself, all for my sake. And after all that he did, he still considers himself lacking and undeserving.

I want to share his burden. I want to make him feel that he's not worthless and incapable like what he believed himself to be. If Jiro can only see himself in my eyes, he will know that no one can even be compared to him. Despite what others say and despite what others see, he will always be my safe place – the only place where I wanted to be.  

***

Namee's POV

I tried to be more logical about Takizawa. Really, I tried. But logic and my feelings are not in agreement when it comes to her. There are really those people who just seem to get in your nerves and you wanted to somehow make it work and be nice to them but..uh...no. Not working. There's something about her that bothers me; I just can't quite put my finger on it.

So imagine the horror in my eyes when she approached me to talk about our plan for Dara's birthday. Huh? I think I suddenly developed a brain tumor because seriously, what is up with her? Am I missing something here? Can you hear me, universe?

"Namee?"

"Huh? We're going to the amusement park after class. Why?" I asked.

"Uh... Nothing", she said and shuffled her feet restlessly while casting her gaze downwards. I stayed on my spot and watched her because I knew there's more to it than 'nothing'; and because awkwardness is something I enjoy seeing. "So, I guess Jiro's coming with you guys?" She asked.

My eyebrows probably shot up to the ceiling. I am trying so hard to suppress my 'I'm-judging-you-right-now' face but-...URGH! This girl needs mad awakening.

                                    

"Jiro's not coming with us."

"I see", she finally smiled. "Say, is Dara and Bullet a couple?"

Okay, I see what's going on here. What she's aiming for is getting pretty obvious. She's attaching herself to Jiro at every chance she gets and is making sure that her potential rival will not get in her way by setting her up with someone else. And what's more infuriating is she's doing all that while maintaining her 'nice girl' image. Oh, what a BRILLIANT plan.

"No, they're not", I said.

"Oh. I think they look cute together! If there's anything I could do to help Bullet out, just tell me."

Bingo. I wish I could use LOL in real life because LOL, she wants to help Bullet out. HAH!

***

Dara brushed her hair with her fingers multiple times, making sure that the side of her neck is covered. When she saw the kiss mark that Jiro left, she cannot calm herself. Even the cold shower did not help at all. Gah! It's no use. Everything Jiro did last night is imprinted in her memory and it has been in endless loop even while they were wrecking havoc in the amusement park.

This is NOT good. Bullet left for a while to get something and now that only she and Namee were left sitting in one of the amusement park's benches, she is damn sure that Namee will sniff the truth out of her.

"Where is Ice Lord? I haven't seen him in school", Namee asked.

"I don't know", Dara said in disappointment. She has not seen Jiro the entire day. She even braved peeking at the Black Dragon's turf and he's not there either.

"You sure he's not at your house? You probably drained him last night, what with the kiss mark and all", Namee chuckled.

OH NOOO!! She noticed! "I-...He-..W-What kiss mark?" Dara stuttered.

"The kiss mark that you've been trying to hide, what else? I hope you didn't scratch his face while you're moaning for your life. RAWR!"

"Shut up!"

"I'm sure your eyes rolled upwards until only the white part can be seen."

"NAMEE!"

"Sshh. Bullet's coming. Let's save this for later. You're not going to hear the end of this, I promise you", Namee giggled. Dara exhaled audibly and tried to act nonchalant about it even though her ass feels like it's being flamed. She knew that she will truly not hear the end of it.

As soon as Bullet reached them, he handed Dara a wrapped gift and beamed at her. "Here's our gift for you, munckin. Namee and I made that. It took a while for it to be finished."

"Thank you. What's this?" Dara opened the gift and inside, she saw a scrap book where the pictures of the three of them at school and whenever they hang out are pasted. There are also little notes scribbled by Namee and Bullet, making her smile. "This is so cute!"

"What's this in your bag?" Namee curiously peeked at her stuff and pointed at what looks like a book.

"Photo album. We're supposed to use it for a class activity but we decided on a different topic for our comprehensive writing exercise", Dara answered as she pulled it out.

"Oh! Let me see!" Bullet grabbed it from her and her two friends excitedly browsed through her childhood photos, probably looking for something to embarrass her with.

"You are so cute when you were a kid! But look what happened to you now", Namee sighed dramatically. "Life is fair after all."

"Hah! Bullet, tell her how cute I am", Dara nudged Bullet who was sitting between the two girls.

"My munchkin is so very cute!" He dutifully said and leaned his head towards Dara so she can pat it, which she did.

"Good boy", Dara chuckled while patting his head.

"Look at this. How old were you when this was taken?" Namee showed Dara her photo wearing an angel costume complete with wings and a halo headband.

"I think I was five or six?" Dara answered and frowned as she stared at it. In the picture, she was gripping the hem of the boy's shirt while smiling widely, seemingly preventing him from leaving. The boy has his eyes casted downwards, like he was just forced to take the stupid pic with her. When realization hit her and when memories came flooding in her mind, a smile slowly curved in her lips.

The boy is the one who saved her from drowning at the lake and whom she followed around everywhere after that incident. He always walks slowly when she's gripping the hem of his shirt, matching his walking pace with hers. The boy who does not talk much but keeps an eye on her; the boy who carried her on his back and run to her house when she got wounded; the boy who just disappeared one day – it was him.

It was Halloween when the picture was taken and he was embarrassed because he doesn't have any costume just like the other kids. That night, she remembered kissing him on the cheek and telling him it's alright. Because even if he doesn't wear any costume, he will always be a hero in her eyes.

"Who's the boy? Your puppy love?" Namee asked.

"That's Jiro", Dara said softly, her eyes mirroring the happiness she's feeling. Bullet's smile faded as he silently watched her, trying to ignore the stinging pain in his heart. He sighed heavily and leaned back on the bench, placing his hands behind his head while pondering. Namee noticed this but she kept her mouth shut.

"Munchkin, since it's your birthday I'm going to tell you something", he said without glancing at her. "InterSAT bonfire victory is not a small thing especially for gang leaders. It's not just your pride at stake, but the rest of the gang as well. If you lose, your gang mates will suffer the shame and it usually results to provocation from other gangs."

He then turned to her with a rigid expression on his face. "Ice Lord said he planned to win, but he passed a blank paper as his demand."

Dara stared at him in bewilderment. Why would Jiro do that? As far as she knew, she wasn't able to convince him to stop until she shouted for his name.

"I have an idea why, but just hear the reason from him", Bullet said, tearing his gaze from her as he stared at the clear sky. "One thing is for sure, he did it for you."

***

Dara watched her steps as she slowly ascended the stairs towards the temple located at the foot of the mountain. The sun is almost setting and the breeze is getting cold, but that's the least of her worries right now.

She wants to see Jiro and ask him a lot of things, but the guy is not even replying to her messages. After bidding goodbye to her two friends and thanking them for a fun birthday celebration, she found herself wondering if Jiro is intentionally not showing himself to her because of what he did last night. Her heart sank at the thought that his drunken words might not hold any merit at all. He must have forgotten it or worse, he might just apologize and tell her it was a mistake.

Upon reaching the temple, she burnt some incense sticks and recited a small prayer. Afterwards, she hung her prayer card with a wish written on it and decided to sit on one of the steps of the temple while mulling things over. She breathed deeply, the scent of incense enveloping her and the steady breeze of the mountain relaxing her.

She glanced back at the temple and abruptly stood up in surprise when she saw the guy who was kneeling inside, his head on the ground. Dara watched as Jiro gingerly stood up and bowed before kneeling again with his palms facing upwards, repeating it multiple times, his sweat trickling down his face. His movement was slow, as if he's been bowing for a while now. She stood frozen on her spot, her eyes never leaving him as he made his final bow and finally turned around, slipping his shoes which were left at the entrance.

When Jiro straightened up and saw her, she immediately averted her gaze, unable to meet his eyes. He walked towards the nearest pillar and leaned his back against it, his head hanging low.

Dara stole a glance at him and bit her lips, still unable to say anything. For a brief moment, she wanted to run away, afraid that confronting him might shatter what little connection they have left. She wanted to take two steps back, a safe distance for the two of them – no complications; no expectations. But she didn't want that.

She pulled out her handkerchief from her bag and took tentative steps towards him. When he lifted his gaze again and looked at her, her breathing was caught in her throat. Still, she continued moving forward and stood in front of him, raising her hand to wipe the sweat off his face.

"Did you enjoy your birthday?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes. Namee and Bullet took me to the amusement park", she answered without looking at him.

"Good."

Dara took a step back and fiddled with the handkerchief that she was holding, contemplating on what to say next. "Uhm..Last night..." She started while her eyes are focused on the ground.

Without uttering a word, Jiro reached for her wrist and pulled her closer, making her eyes widen in surprise. He then tilted his head and brushed her hair away from her neck, his fingers tenderly tracing the red mark that is evident against her white skin. "Hmmm... What about last night?"

Dara swallowed hard and fanned her face with her free hand, her cheeks reddening when flashes of how Jiro gave her a kiss mark filled her mind. His lips trailing down her neck; his teeth gently grazing her skin... *gulp*

 

"Y-You said things. And you asked me something." She is totally not making sense at all, she knew it. But the way Jiro continuously slides his fingers at the side of her neck is making her lose her mind. With his left hand holding her wrist preventing her from moving away and with his right hand caressing her skin, it's proving to be a challenge to form any coherent thought.

"What did I ask?"

"You told me to ask you to stay", she replied, forcing the words out of her mouth while trying not to shut her eyes in satisfaction because of what Jiro is doing.

"And?"

"I asked you to stay", she said in a hoarse voice, the butterflies in her stomach multiplying when Jiro slowly pulled her closer, his arms coiling around her waist. Dara rested her hands on his chest, noticing the hard pounding of his heart. She then lifted her gaze and looked at him, warmth spreading through her as she drowned at the intensity of his eyes.

"Why did you do all those things for me, Jiro?" She mumbled softly.

"To make you happy. That's my only wish", he said.

Dara glanced at the prayer cards hanging on the temple. "Did you do multiple bows for that wish?"

"Yes."

She bit her lips, unable to contain her feelings. The guy will stop at nothing for her and yet, he still thinks too little of himself.

"Bullet said you passed a blank paper as your demand in the InterSAT bonfire. Is it also because of me?"

Jiro sighed heavily and was about to avert his gaze, but Dara cupped his face with her palms and made him look at her again. "Stop hiding yourself from me", she said. She withdrew her hands when she saw the pain in his eyes. She felt his arms loosening and she watched in panic as he stepped away from her and shoved his hands inside his pockets.

"I want nothing from him but to leave you alone but you said he's your friend. I planned to win but if I did and he doesn't show his face to you anymore, you'll be mad at me. You even tried to stop me for his sake. So what do you expect me to write on that stupid paper? I knew he wouldn't raise his white flag when I saw his demand so I did what I had to do", he said in a strained voice.  

"But what about your gang mates?

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